How to overcome lust and sexual thoughts?
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as above. any help?
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Try to see more picture of ah mah.
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Hi, pls refer to my reply at http://buddhism.sgforums.com/forums/1728/topics/268057
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:The Buddha taught some solutions:
(Book Source: Fa Yu Bing Fen 2nd Series by Ven. Shen Kai)
Therefore to summarise, there is 1) To change perception of females as 'mothers' or 'sisters', 2) To contemplate the impurities and impermanence of the body from head to toe 3) To guard and close our six sense doors, do not give rise to attachment to appearances and discriminative mind/consciousness (which is why mindful awareness is very important)
Other than these, there are some other ways in Buddhism but the above are some of the most commonly mentioned.
You can read Chinese right? Don't understand can ask, I can explain
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Very sorry for taking so long to post. Here is a summary.
The Chinese text was talking about the king who is concerned with the progress of youngsters and the distraction of sexual lust on the youth's academic and work perfomance. He requested the give instructions on how to be free from sexual lust.
The Buddha gave 3 suggestions:
1) The female that is more elder in age should be looked upon as one's Mother or aunt. For the female that is younger in age one should look upon her as one's own sister and for one that is very young in age, one should look upon her as one's.. uh, (sorry I don't know what's that
someone can tell me 
). In
this way, one's mind will be in stillness, and
ones three poisons,
Greed, Hatred and Ignorance will be transformed
and dissolved by
one's Wisdom naturally.
2) One should review this very frame of body upwards from the soles of the
feet, & downwards from the tips of the hairs, enclosed in skin, as
full of many kinds of impurities: There are in this body head-hairs,
body-hairs, nails, teeth, skin, flesh, sinews, bones, bone-marrow,
kidneys, heart, liver, pleura, spleen, lungs, intestines, mesentery,
vomit in the stomach, excrement, bile, lymph, pus, blood, sweat, fat,
tears, mucus, saliva, snot, fluid of the joints, urine and the various impurities, this way one can be freed from sexual lust and the mind will naturally be still.
3) One should guard one's six sense doors: Eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind.. if one's eyes sees sights, one should not grasp on the appearances, do not give rise to discriminative mind and naturally our attachment will be dissolved. After one guards his eye-sense faculty one should then guard the other senses (ears, nose, tongue, body and mind), do not give rise to discriminative mind and naturally craving will not arise. -
can you summarise, so long to read.
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Mediate.
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Very sorry for taking so long to post. Here is a summary.
The Chinese text was talking about the king who is concerned with the progress of youngsters and the distraction of sexual lust on the youth's academic and work perfomance. He requested the give instructions on how to be free from sexual lust.
The Buddha gave 3 suggestions:
1) The female that is more elder in age should be looked upon as one's Mother or aunt. For the female that is younger in age one should look upon her as one's own sister and for one that is very young in age, one should look upon her as one's.. uh, (sorry I don't know what's that someone can tell me ). In this way, one's mind will be in stillness,
and ones three
poisons, Greed, Hatred and Ignorance will be
transformed and
dissolved by one's Wisdom naturally.
2) One should review this very frame of body upwards from the soles of the
feet, & downwards from the tips of the hairs, enclosed in skin, as
full of many kinds of impurities: There are in this body head-hairs,
body-hairs, nails, teeth, skin, flesh, sinews, bones, bone-marrow,
kidneys, heart, liver, pleura, spleen, lungs, intestines, mesentery,
vomit in the stomach, excrement, bile, lymph, pus, blood, sweat, fat,
tears, mucus, saliva, snot, fluid of the joints, urine and the various impurities, this way one can be freed from sexual lust and the mind will naturally be still.
3) One should guard one's six sense doors: Eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind.. if one's eyes sees sights, one should not grasp on the appearances, do not give rise to discriminative mind and naturally our attachment will be dissolved. After one guards his eye-sense faculty one should then guard the other senses (ears, nose, tongue, body and mind), do not give rise to discriminative mind and naturally craving will not arise -
On the other hand if you have a serious problem with sex addiction, suggest you go professional help or counselling.
Today I saw news article of Tiger Woods checking in for sex rehab at a center designated for that purpose and it has a comprehensive program to treat this problem. I am not sure where to find such service in Singapore though.
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TIGER WOODS: THE SCRUFFY SEX ADDICT
Thursday January 21 2010 byLaura HollandUNSHAVEN, scruffy and wearing a hoodie, disgraced sports star Tiger Woods was photographed at a clinic for sex addicts.
It is the first picture of the serial cheat since his car crash two months ago.
In a far cry from his all-American clean-cut image, the billionaire golfer looked unkempt as he strolled around the grounds of the no-frills clinic on a Mississippi industrial estate.
Woods, 34, is reportedly receiving six weeks rehab there in an attempt to save his five-year marriage to Swedish model Elin Nordegren, 30.
She is said to have asked her husband to undergo treatment following allegations of a string of affairs.
She ditched her wedding ring after their row in November, which culminated in Woods crashing his car into a tree outside their Florida home. His private life then began to unravel as at least a dozen women claimed affairs with the father of two.
Woods went to ground but apologised on his website, saying: “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behaviour my family deserves.
“I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behaviour and personal failings behind closed doors with my family.” He reportedly checked himself into the Pine Grove Behavioural Health and Addiction Services clinic, in the town of Hattiesburg, on December 30, his birthday.
Its £37,000 Gentle Path programme is led by Dr Patrick Carnes, one of America’s leading experts on sex addiction.
His patients receive psychological testing, a chemical dependency examination and a psychosexual assessment.
Activities include meditation, group therapy, spirituality meetings and yoga. Patients stay in small bungalows and are divided into groups according to their problems.
SEARCH for:Elin will be expected to take part in his therapy sessions for a week. This includes “Disclosure Day,” when he will be forced to face her and admit in detail each of his alleged sexual dalliances. Woods has rented a luxury home for his wife near the clinic, where she is staying with their daughter Sam, two, and son Charlie, six months.
“Tiger has a rough road in there if he treats the therapy seriously,” a source told National Enquirer magazine.
“It’s designed to change patients’ personalities and do away with the cause of their addictions.” Woods, who was ditched by a number of high-profile sponsors after the scandal, is said to be planning a comeback in the spring.
He hopes his treatment will show the public, sponsors and his wife that he intends to reform.
Gentle Path’s statistics show that 64 per cent of patients do not relapse within six months of leaving the clinic.
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You can overcome if you have the will.
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Stop watching pornography materials.
Focus your mind on exercise and other things.
Anyway are you a buddhist? Remember about your 5 precepts.
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Go for a jog....take a bath....watch tv.....or listen to soft music...sleep early.
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give me all the money
no money no honey
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Originally posted by TehJarVu:
give me all the money
no money no honey
nice answer.... -
If you are Buddhist, you may want to try the 32 parts of body meditation or meditation on the repulsiveness of the form.(assubha). Kindly be advised that these types of meditation must be done under supervision from a qualified teachers. Avoid porn too.
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To overcome lust and sexual thoughts? Put all that is in your mind into action go intoxicate yourself with your sexual perversion......be a trysexual and try everything from A-Z and when you are done you will be surprised to find yourself fully cured.
One important advice- Do it while you are still young and single cuz you will never get another shot at it when you become a loving husband and a responsible family man.
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Originally posted by Franceso Totti:
as above. any help?
If you are a Buddhist, you may try the following :
1) Simple meditation (concentrate on your breathing) will help.2) In this sutra普门å“�, it says by reciting the name of å�—æ— è§‚ä¸–éŸ³è�©è�¨ will also help.
3) I heard ( I don't know how true) some of the monks were trained by living with corpse and they will get to see how the corpse decompose. This is to enlighten them that appearance is only temporary and don't deceive by the appearance.
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There's no need to be afraid when sexual desire arises, these are thought that arises to common people. Sex is the natural way to reproduction.
However you will have to start to worry if it is converted into unwanted action. You can avoid these even more if you are less simulated (eg. watch pronography movies, magazine etc). Learn to watch your thought and when such thought arises, be aware and divert you thought to something useful such as loving kindness, compassion or equiminity.
In satipattana sutta, there's a method of meditation such as seeing the body as it really is, skin...hair....blood...sputum....lung..etc. But you do need guidance when practice such meditaion. look for a good guide before doing this.
Learn to watch your mind and become aware of your thought. You will realise that it is not necessary that you have opposite sex before lust or sexual desire arises. it's all in the mind.
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Originally posted by Short Ninja:
To overcome lust and sexual thoughts? Put all that is in your mind into action go intoxicate yourself with your sexual perversion......be a trysexual and try everything from A-Z and when you are done you will be surprised to find yourself fully cured.
One important advice- Do it while you are still young and single cuz you will never get another shot at it when you become a loving husband and a responsible family man.
This will never happen, just as binge drinking can never stop alcoholism, smoking 20 cigarettes more per day will not stop your smoking addiction.
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Originally posted by SevenEleven:
There's no need to be afraid when sexual desire arises, these are thought that arises to common people. Sex is the natural way to reproduction.
However you will have to start to worry if it is converted into unwanted action. You can avoid these even more if you are less simulated (eg. watch pronography movies, magazine etc). Learn to watch your thought and when such thought arises, be aware and divert you thought to something useful such as loving kindness, compassion or equiminity.
In satipattana sutta, there's a method of meditation such as seeing the body as it really is, skin...hair....blood...sputum....lung..etc. But you do need guidance when practice such meditaion. look for a good guide before doing this.
Learn to watch your mind and become aware of your thought. You will realise that it is not necessary that you have opposite sex before lust or sexual desire arises. it's all in the mind.
I really wonder if you can be any less stimulated by the sight of your wife, the care she shows you and the love between the two of you. Loving someone for who she or he is that the care you have for the person transcends the physical bonding between the two persons.
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
This will never happen, just as binge drinking can never stop alcoholism, smoking 20 cigarettes more per day will not stop your smoking addiction.
Looking at sex from a spiritual angle.And if there is a spiritual element then there is possibility.
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Originally posted by Short Ninja:
Looking at sex from a spiritual angle.And if there is a spiritual element then there is possibility.
There's nothing spiritual about addiction, ending addiction and afflictions is what is spiritual.
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
There's nothing spiritual about addiction, ending addiction and afflictions is what is spiritual.
Ar but of course but there is definitely something spiritual about sex and orgasm. -
Originally posted by Short Ninja:
Ar but of course but there is definitely something spiritual about sex and orgasm.What is holy is not sex itself. It is that in having an orgasm, there is suddenly a gap between two dualistic state of seeking, or between two thoughts, where Consciousness experiences Itself as Itself. This is what is spiritual. This is in contrast to the usual dualistic state of seeking where there is a projection of 'me' separate from a perceived desirable/undesirable object, and then the 'me' must chase after or get rid of the 'object'. However if we recognise non-dual consciousness, there is just Self-Aware Consciousness which is itself bliss and peace. And it is bliss and peace surpassing all you have ever experienced or will ever understand in our ordinary dualistic mind. And actually this is possible at any moment and is not just in sex.
True bliss cannot be found in any particular experience, but in the gap that certain experiences temporarily opens up to the possibility for Consciousness to experience its true face. Thus we should never chase after experiences, since it is not the experience that is the source of bliss, but the gap and possibility the experience opens up to for Consciousness to experience Itself. But we should also not come to depend on having certain experiences, like mountain climbing, jumping from a plane, engaging in other dangerous or intense acts, or having orgasm, etc, to enter into the state of Presence and bliss. It is not required, though such acts may open a door to that experience. For most people however, after that experience they go back into unconscious seeking, and fails to understand that the peace and happiness is actually not found 'outside' but is inherent in one's own Consciousness. They fail to understand that they have never been separated from that bliss and peace which is the qualities of primordial intrinsic Awareness, that it is always by nature already non-dual.
http://www2.lib.virginia.edu/exhibits/dead/dying.html
According to this tradition, the clear light is the most subtle, profound, and powerful level of consciousness. Indeed, it is the fundamental nature of the mind itself, whose appearance is said to be like the sky's own natural cast at dawn before sunrise, its brilliance radiating everywhere in all directions. This mind of radiant clear light is indestructible and untainted by the emotional and psychological confusions that perpetuate the ongoing cycle of birth and death (samsara). We are told that the clear light is experienced briefly by all human beings at the very first moment of death, by advanced yogic practitioners in the highest states of meditation, and unceasingly by all Buddhas. Interestingly enough, this very subtle radiance is said also to be experienced, though rarely noticed, in more mundane moments, such as fainting, sneezing, and orgasm, as well as in the first instant before and after dreaming. However, only at the moment of death is the conscious and unwavering realization of the clear light tantamount to the achievement of Buddhahood.
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Rupert Spira:
Most activities are governed by the desire for Happiness. Happiness is a non-objective experience. It is simply the presence of Consciousness.
As Consciousness is by nature conscious, it could be said that Happiness is the experience of Consciousness knowing itself knowingly.
It is the experience that is revealed every time a desire comes to an end. Desire is agitation and Happiness is the ever-present background of all states that is revealed when this agitation ceases.
Of course, it is also present during the agitation itself as it is the background of all states, but it is not experienced as such.
This desire for Happiness does not come from memory. Happiness cannot be remembered for it has no objective qualities. It is inherent in Consciousness, which in its unmanifest condition is objectless, such as in the experience of deep sleep.
Consciousness cannot be experienced as an object and therefore cannot be remembered. However, it is always present and therefore whatever is inherent in it must also be ever-present.
The current object is continually changing but the desire for Happiness always remains the same. Therefore, Happiness cannot be caused by the object that is present.
Likewise the experience of Happiness is always the same irrespective of the object that seems to deliver, so the object itself cannot be the aim of the search for Happiness.
Once it is understood that Happiness cannot be a memory, it has to be concluded that the desire for Happiness comes from the current experience itself, even if the experience is unpleasant. Where else could it come from?
However, it is not from the objective aspect of the current experience that Happiness is sought. It is from the knowing or experiencing aspect.
The fact that Happiness is sought in such a wide variety of objects and activities indicates the intuition that Happiness resides in the knowing and experiencing aspects of an experience or an object, in the Consciousness aspect, not in the objective aspect, because the knowing or experiencing aspect of all experiences is always the same.
However, the knowing and experiencing aspect of experience is veiled by the name and the form of the experience, and therefore we keep looking for Happiness in new and different objects.
in fact our engagement with objects is, in most cases, precisely for the purpose of unveiling the Peace and Happiness that is inherent in every experience. However, we wrongly assign Peace and Happiness to the objective aspect of the experience.
Our exclusive focus on the objective aspect of the experience veils this Happiness. However, failing to notice that Happiness is in fact already present, we search elsewhere for it. We search for it in a new situation, in a new object.
In fact even the desire for Happiness comes from Happiness itself.
Desire is the form of Happiness. It is the shape that Happiness itself takes when it overlooks its own presence and begins to search for itself elsewhere.
It is Happiness itself that seeks itself.
We are already what we seek.
What governs the type of object in which we search for Happiness will depend on the objects that, in the past, immediately preceded the non-objective experience of Happiness.
Unlike Happiness itself, these objects can be remembered and so we try to reproduce them in the hopes that they will deliver the same Happiness.
Once this is clearly seen, the nature of desire changes radically. An object is no longer desired in order to produce Happiness but rather to express it.
Once desire is liberated from the requirement to produce Happiness, it does not disappear. It is simply liberated from the confines of serving a non-existent entity.
Desire as such is experienced as energy, as life. It is already its own fulfillment.
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if you don't know what i'm talking about, don't anyhow put comments - aen