How do i overcome 'lust' thoughts?
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Its hard to overcome for a ordinary man. Whenever i had such thoughts i would try to change my attention to some other subject. How do one avoid these sinful thinking?
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first, do not attempt the need to overcome it, let it be, observe the circumstances that effected its rise and how you are reacting to it, then observe how it is affecting your breath, your blood pressure, your heartbeat, etc, then observe how it starts to die down and fade awayOriginally posted by suikoden:Its hard to overcome for a ordinary man. Whenever i had such thoughts i would try to change my attention to some other subject. How do one avoid these sinful thinking?
repeat for next incident, and again, and again -
or my friend, you can apply for the Quick Fix if you think the above process takes too long,
just try to look inside a girl's nostril or ear or between her teeth every time your heart thinks it is getting aroused -
How come are you having these lustful thoughts? You should do some inquiry... That's what my taiwanese dharma teacher did to someone who asked him about how to deal with lust.. find out what is the source of these matters. Do you watch sexually suggestive women on the net..? Do you have posters of pretty ladies all over your room? And many other possible factors....Originally posted by suikoden:Its hard to overcome for a ordinary man. Whenever i had such thoughts i would try to change my attention to some other subject. How do one avoid these sinful thinking?
One suggestion he gave was to tear down all the pictures of the skimpily dressed ladies in your room, and replace them with all the pictures of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas... my teacher said, confirm you won't get excited!
Cos they're all so holy and 'zhuang1 yan2' everywhere you look.. hehe..
Here's also some suggestions from my Master's book:Originally posted by An Eternal Now:The Buddha taught some solutions:
(Book Source: Fa Yu Bing Fen 2nd Series by Ven. Shen Kai)
Therefore to summarise, there is 1) To change perception of females as 'mothers' or 'sisters', 2) To contemplate the impurities and impermanence of the body from head to toe 3) To guard and close our six sense doors, do not give rise to attachment to appearances and discriminative mind/consciousness (which is why mindful awareness is very important)
Other than these, there are some other ways in Buddhism but the above are some of the most commonly mentioned.
You can read Chinese right? Don't understand can ask, I can explain
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Very sorry for taking so long to post. Here is a summary.
The Chinese text was talking about the king who is concerned with the progress of youngsters and the distraction of sexual lust on the youth's academic and work perfomance. He requested the give instructions on how to be free from sexual lust.
The Buddha gave 3 suggestions:
1) The female that is more elder in age should be looked upon as one's Mother or aunt. For the female that is younger in age one should look upon her as one's own sister and for one that is very young in age, one should look upon her as one's.. uh, (sorry I don't know what's that someone can tell me 
). In this way, one's mind will be in stillness, and ones three poisons, Greed, Hatred and Ignorance will be transformed and dissolved by one's Wisdom naturally.
2) One should review this very frame of body upwards from the soles of the
feet, & downwards from the tips of the hairs, enclosed in skin, as
full of many kinds of impurities: There are in this body head-hairs,
body-hairs, nails, teeth, skin, flesh, sinews, bones, bone-marrow,
kidneys, heart, liver, pleura, spleen, lungs, intestines, mesentery,
vomit in the stomach, excrement, bile, lymph, pus, blood, sweat, fat,
tears, mucus, saliva, snot, fluid of the joints, urine and the various impurities, this way one can be freed from sexual lust and the mind will naturally be still.
3) One should guard one's six sense doors: Eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind.. if one's eyes sees sights, one should not grasp on the appearances, do not give rise to discriminative mind and naturally our attachment will be dissolved. After one guards his eye-sense faculty one should then guard the other senses (ears, nose, tongue, body and mind), do not give rise to discriminative mind and naturally craving will not arise. -
AEN, this text-book skeleton/ non-cleanse visualisation technique's effectiveness is beyond doubt, what i doubt is the quality and ability of today's beginner in being able to visualize and believe its truth
How many of those (lets start with the regulars in this forum) succeeded in using this technique, give me an honest show of hands.. -
Honestly I have never tried that technique...Originally posted by Xprobe:AEN, this text-book skeleton visualisation technique's effectiveness is beyond doubt, what i doubt is the quality and ability of today's beginner in being able to visualize and believe its truth
How many of those (lets start with the regulars in this forum) succeeded in using this technique, give me an honest show of hands..
One of my dharma friends also under my master tried before that, and like you said, really super effective. But he stopped cos he wanted to engage in relationships... -
try to read scriptures?
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the fact that he went into a relationship after practising it proves my point, doesnt it? may have only helped him occasionallyOriginally posted by An Eternal Now:Honestly I have never tried that technique...
One of my dharma friends also under my master tried before that, and like you said, really super effective. But he stopped cos he wanted to engage in relationships...
if it is super effective for a person, how can he even think of physically engaging the gender of his lust-orientation, let alone have such a relationship? (unless he is practising the way of bodhisava and this person is has a strong karma with him or is very crucial to the spread of the way) -
whats the difference of this compared to go shoot some basket or take a cold shower? you think scriptures have superduper powers? that only happens in movies...Originally posted by Cool-gal:try to read scriptures?
if the person is unwilling to let go of his thoughts by facing himself, you can wrap him up in 10km of scriptures and it wouldnt do dick shit -
Yes that's right, it's not very easy and requires years of hard work and practise. I would recommend anyone interested in this method to look into Ajahn Maha Boowa's dharma book 'The Path to Arhatship' or 'Arhataphala', one of his latest books and a great one. He is really a master in this method. He is also known to have attained Arhatship.Originally posted by Xprobe:the fact that he went into a relationship after practising it proves my point, doesnt it? may have only helped him occasionally
if it is super effective for a person, how can he even think of physically engaging the gender of his lust-orientation, let alone have such a relationship? (unless he is practising the way of bodhisava and this person is has a strong karma with him or is very crucial to the spread of the way)
To really surpass all traces of sexual desires is not an easy matter... according to texts that requires at least the Anagami stage. Thusness also told me before sexual desires sort of transcended at the Anagami stage. But before that it is quite difficult cos our defilements are still functioning and springing up time to time.
Nevertheless we can always start practising... practise and see the effects, and know the dharma yourself. -
More precisely Thusness said 'after going through 2nd door', but if I remember he also mentioned that is also about where Anagami stage is attained.Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Yes that's right, it's not very easy and requires years of hard work and practise. I would recommend anyone interested in this method to look into Ajahn Maha Boowa's dharma book 'The Path to Arhatship' or 'Arhataphala', one of his latest books and a great one. He is really a master in this method. He is also known to have attained Arhatship.
To really surpass all traces of sexual desires is not an easy matter... according to texts that requires at least the Anagami stage. Thusness also told me before sexual desires sort of transcended at the Anagami stage. But before that it is quite difficult cos our defilements are still functioning and springing up time to time.
Nevertheless we can always start practising... practise and see the effects, and know the dharma yourself. -
Very helpful replies...but its not easy because its like fighting against our own chemicals in the body. Etc Testosterone.
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Yes, by karma you are born in this body, its biological functions etc serves as conditions for you to be attracted by the opposite sex. But without the conditions of your mental defilements, you will still not be indulging in sexual desires.Originally posted by suikoden:Very helpful replies...but its not easy because its like fighting against our own chemicals in the body. Etc Testosterone.
In Buddhism, we eradicate all defilements caused by our ignorance... so practise hard and we can all purify our minds and attain enlightenment. Learn and practise the dharma. -
Yes it is not easy but it isn't really about our own chemicals in the body that is dififcult. It is the willingness to take steps and put in effort into practice. Both AEN and Xprobe gave good advices and IMO it will work. However it will take many years of practice before you see results.Originally posted by suikoden:Very helpful replies...but its not easy because its like fighting against our own chemicals in the body. Etc Testosterone. -
Play psp or play dota, kinda works for me.
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Reading scriptures is part of practice , if you read and reflect upon , slowly your lustful thoughts will be minimizedOriginally posted by Xprobe:whats the difference of this compared to go shoot some basket or take a cold shower? you think scriptures have superduper powers? that only happens in movies...
if the person is unwilling to let go of his thoughts by facing himself, you can wrap him up in 10km of scriptures and it wouldnt do dick shit
With Wisdom ,reduces emotion
reduces emotion , towards Great Compassion
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my friend, you asking beginner level to read scriptures to address the core reason for our endless cycles of life and death? good luck with that
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No point fighting with your hormones or special "heritage" from your parents
Unless you got medicine to reduce that
Or go on a diet that will reduce the amount of hormones produced everyday -
this insight of yours is the easiest way out, isnt it? but i must admit that it is comforting to lie to oneself, at least it used to beOriginally posted by suikoden:Very helpful replies...but its not easy because its like fighting against our own chemicals in the body. Etc Testosterone. -
my friend , reading scriptures does help to lower down the level of lust ,but of course not totally .Originally posted by Xprobe:my friend, you asking beginner level to read scriptures to address the core reason for our endless cycles of life and death? good luck with that
So u want to help him by bla bla the scriptures is useless ?
of what level can you qualify to say that ? -
by communicating the meaning of the scriptures in today's language and form? thats a start
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nice
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I kind of hav the same problem, not just `lust` thoughts,also trying to keep myself to be good.Its always 1 step foward 3 steps backwards.
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this is exactly why u are a man today, u might think that this is nothing new, but it is an important first step to your eventual awakening, congratulations! Keep dwelling on this and it will bring u on a journeyOriginally posted by potstop163:I kind of hav the same problem, not just `lust` thoughts,also trying to keep myself to be good.Its always 1 step foward 3 steps backwards. -
Reading scriptures does help. It will also depends on the type of scriptures one reads. It is best to find scriptures that are related to the problems you are facing. And while looking for the scriptures that you had identified, try finding those with Commentaries. Commentaries are written by monks who help laypersons (none-monks, householders, lay practitioner) to understand the basic meanings of the scriptures.Originally posted by Xprobe:by communicating the meaning of the scriptures in today's language and form? thats a start
Of course you will find many Dharma words, terms and such that you might not understand. You can definitely post your questions here and ask the good advisors here.
My personal experience is rather interesting. Also having the same problem in the beginning, I tried reading scriptures. Funny is that the Sutra is so chim and I don't understand but I already forgotten about lust! Of course it is only temporary. But if you ae hardworking enough to train yourself to read something not related to lust such as Sutra or a thick physics tectbook, it will reduce your lust level.
Also try not to excite your senses.