How to forgive the ones who did you wrong in the past?
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Sometimes i think true compassion is to teach others what are sufferings and then after the others learnt, you let go.
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It's ideal to say absorb whatever come your way with compassion but WHAT IF it never stop coming ? What if the father keeps raping the daughter over and over again even though the daughter forgive with "compassion" over and over again.
Using the analogy given by the thread starter.
Do you think this is compassion or stupidity ?
this is somehthing like the similar 开缘 case where a killer was about to kill all the people on a boat and Buddha's previous life have to kill the killer. the killer is about to commit even greater karma. for such a weighting of karma. compassion cannot help, wisdom have to take over. still Buddha absorbed the karma which do take effect on another life. -
ah found the story of the guzheng revenger
this is an ancient piece
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Originally posted by sinweiy:
this is somehthing like the similar 开缘 case where a killer was about to kill all the people on a boat and Buddha's previous life have to kill the killer. the killer is about to commit even greater karma. for such a weighting of karma. compassion cannot help, wisdom have to take over. still Buddha absorbed the karma which do take effect on another life.
Buddha can absorbed but not when you are not one yet. -
An elderly person explained it to me thus...
How do you know your present sufferings at the hands of an "abuser" is not the result of you abusing someone else in a past life?
It's not up to us to decide who gets what punishment, because our wisdom has not been perfected. As long as our wisdom is not perfected, we will lack objectivity to see what is the most optimal solution to a problem. Hence, vengeance is not ours to mete out.
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so you are going to tell the poor girl that she raped her father in one past lifetime and so she should be raped by her father this lifetime?
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Originally posted by Wiser:
so you are going to tell the poor girl that she raped her father in one past lifetime and so she should be raped by her father this lifetime?
Wiser: "so you are going to tell the poor girl that she raped her father in one past lifetime and so she should be raped by her father this lifetime?"
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No. I will tell her to remove herself from the ugly situation and seek shelter from those who can help her. First things first, take oneself away from a dangerous situation.
Ultimately, this girl will have to let go of her hatred and anger. Not to do so will be to ensure rebirth, wherein in a future life, she will be seeking to exact revenge. She will be stuck in the endless cycle of birth and death. Stuck within samsaric suffering.
Most certainly though, I won't tell her to stick a knife into her father.
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What if the father keeps raping the daughter over and over again even though the daughter forgive with "compassion" over and over again.
or i see the daughter must/could have did something very bad to the father in a previous life time.
read a few Hypnosis therapy and/or past life cases, normally, the enermy are reborn as a close person, be it spouse, parent, sibling etc. 缘。
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Buddha can absorbed but not when you are not one yet.
Buddha's previous life as in still practicing bodhisattva path. :)think people practice to absord when one practice metta; ten wholesome deeds/precepts. all and all it's still thinking of others even when "hurting" others.
yea, it's a buddhist practice. we also rather avoid suffering the after effect of a bad karma even if it's for the benefit of others.
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Originally posted by Wiser:
but WHY do you want to FORGIVE the one who hurt you , did injustice to you and harmed you before?
I will not want to see him or meet him talk to him.I will just walk away without even take a look at him.
Looking at him make me anger.
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Originally posted by likeyou:
I will not want to see him or meet him talk to him.I will just walk away without even take a look at him.
Looking at him make me anger.
Ya... you don't wanna look at him or have any contact with him... because to do so will make you angry.
Likewise, holding on to anger and hatred keeps the hurt alive. The longer you stay angry, the longer your hurt persists.
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Just like my manager, I just walk away, detour or dont want to have any eye contact since I know he is those sadists, love to make bad remarks on you.
I believe karma will befall on those pple who make life difficult for pple to earn a living.
And I strongly believe that breaking pples rice bowl is very sinful.
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it's always easy to tell others what to do until you have to experience it yourself.
Then who know you will be the one who stick a knife in your best friend's back cos he raped your daughter over and over again.
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Originally posted by Wiser:
it's always easy to tell others what to do until you have to experience it yourself.
Then who know you will be the one who stick a knife in your best friend's back cos he raped your daughter over and over again.
Let the law deal with perpetrators of crime. There is law as we understand it in society. There is also karmic law. Karmic law serves us... without fail.
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Another wisdom verse I read in the temple :
�个人都�争一�气，
真æ£æœ‰åŠŸå¤«çš„人会把这å�£æ°”å�žä¸‹ã€‚
Roughly it means everybody wants to vent their anger but the person with real "gongfu" will swallow the anger.
I'm the one with no "gongfu". I'm afraid if I swallow it , I'll choke to death ha ha ha...... still learning to master the "gongfu".
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hahahah........my gongfu will be to breath that QI and light it with fire and then blow hard like a dragon onto my enermy.
c whether they dare to touch me again or not...hahahaha -
Originally posted by realization:
Wiser: "so you are going to tell the poor girl that she raped her father in one past lifetime and so she should be raped by her father this lifetime?"
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No. I will tell her to remove herself from the ugly situation and seek shelter from those who can help her. First things first, take oneself away from a dangerous situation.
Ultimately, this girl will have to let go of her hatred and anger. Not to do so will be to ensure rebirth, wherein in a future life, she will be seeking to exact revenge. She will be stuck in the endless cycle of birth and death. Stuck within samsaric suffering.
Most certainly though, I won't tell her to stick a knife into her father.
can only work if the person accepts karma and rebirth.
Ultimately, it is to solve modern problems with practical solutions first, like asking her to leave the father and go to a safe place.
Then using psychology may help this girl better than karma talk.
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Some pple are bend on getting pple hate him.
He love to make your life sufferring, make your life unhappy, make you stressout.
Only then he will be happy to see you in this stage of life.
What kind of person he is like that?
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Originally posted by likeyou:
Some pple are bend on getting pple hate him.
He love to make your life sufferring, make your life unhappy, make you stressout.
Only then he will be happy to see you in this stage of life.
What kind of person he is like that?
Yes, there are people who are out to make life difficult for others. These people usually suffer and have a difficult death. I'm not cursing them, it is true. I've seen people who were like that, they would have long term sickness. Whereas I had seen some of my relatives who were good natured, they would either die in their sleep or passed away after a fall. No long term sufferings.
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its a matter of whether u want to or not nia
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Originally posted by likeyou:
Some pple are bend on getting pple hate him.
He love to make your life sufferring, make your life unhappy, make you stressout.
Only then he will be happy to see you in this stage of life.
What kind of person he is like that?
I had an ex-colleague who was in HR and liked to make things difficult for others whom she did not like. She also liked to criticise and make fun of Buddhism. She was a Christian. So, there were many people curse and swear at her but when her husband passed away and she was widowed at young age (30+) with 2 young kids we felt sorry for her.
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AMTF.
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Time will heal everything.
I used to hate my chief clerk for not letting me go MA during my NS.
After I left the army, I no longer hate her.
Like if u lose ur wife after she died of illnesses.
A few years later the sadness will be reduced to almost none.
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So now we know the WHY we want to forgive, we come to HOW.
How to forgive ?
One way is
Set new goals in your life to achieve. For eg picking up new hobby like a musicial instrument, a sport to focus your attention and mind on.
Through participating in new found interests, you may find your attention on your previous grievances fading slowly into the background as time pass.
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How to forgive?
Just say this sincerely in your heart:
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I forgive so-and-so for all the this-and-that has done in the past.
Keep repeating it sincerely in your heart and it will work.