Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Thanks for sharing.. on a sidenote, I think some dreams contain spiritual messages or lessons or reminders.
I had this strange dream yesterday where I found some of my bunk mates (lol) had realized no-self. Their bodies were sort of transparent.... V cool. I think its the minds symbolic way of telling me to live in total transparency without self though I didnt consciously know what it meant in the dream.
Then I interviewed one of them and he said... Its not that you don't exist but what you are is the stuff of the universe (not exact words). I also asked another, what are you? And he simply replied with a simple physical gesture... Cant exactly remember what but I intuitively understood it to mean something like "just this, this sensate body mind". The dream was a good reminder and inspiration for me.
If you have another interpretation I'm interested to hear..
Someone wanted you to deepen your insight of non-dual experience on these 2 aspects. Treasure it.
@Thusness,
Thanks for the insights and pointers. Well, even when it is shared, different planes of ... and perceptions as well as the psychological make-up of each individual is bound to encroach ..... Whatever the case, it is my predicament and for me to ''work'' on myself.
Originally posted by wisdomeye:Hi Beautiful,
Seems like you have to heighten your clarity aspect of mind... bring more energy and wakefulness/awareness to your meditation... sleeping-like is not the way...keep your eyes half-open or open completely if you are closing them now.
Are you meditating under any qualified teacher? Best to!
Yes I have been closing my eyes in meditation. I shall have to try opening then in future.
I have not been mediating with a teacher though. It is done by myself currently.
Thanks to you and simpo for replying.
Originally posted by simpo_:
Right view (as in emptiness ) is not quite easy to stabilised. For the most part, it is currently mostly held as a memory.
I have come across this post and I would like to ask if you could explain more about emptiness. Is it believing that all things have an effect on each other? I have read that on another site.
Originally posted by Fugazzi:@Thusness,
Thanks for the insights and pointers. Well, even when it is shared, different planes of ... and perceptions as well as the psychological make-up of each individual is bound to encroach ..... Whatever the case, it is my predicament and for me to ''work'' on myself.
Hi Fugazzi,
What you have shared are equally precious and indeed the essence of Buddhism is to realize and have direct experiential insight of 'what is' as a process rather than entity. AEN's diary is a sincere documentation of his journey of how he progresses from "I AM" to non-dual to the arising insight of anatta. His conditions differ from yours and some others and therefore his sharing can help to shed some valuable insights for some of us.
Happy journey.
Originally posted by Thusness:Someone wanted you to deepen your insight of non-dual experience on these 2 aspects. Treasure it.
I see.. yeah I thought so too, I felt that the dream had some important pointers...
Originally posted by Beautiful951:
I have come across this post and I would like to ask if you could explain more about emptiness. Is it believing that all things have an effect on each other? I have read that on another site.
Hi Beautiful951,
Firstly, I will like to state that i am still learning so can only share from my own opinion. Please read with a pint of salt.
Emptiness is not a belief but an insight that can be borne from experience. It is better to experience it for oneself as before and after the insight, it can still be 'unbelievable' for the mind. Emptiness is quite hard to experience and usually the realisation of no-self comes before emptiness.
As mentioned, no-self will be easier to realise. I will describe the insight of no-self/egolessness generally here. When doing insight meditation one may realise that the sensory experiences (including mental formation/thinking) are arising and passing away independently of one another. That is, seeing is seeing, hearing is hearing, thinking is thinking and they are all flowing independently. With that observation, one will realise that there is no self holding all these sensory experiences together. Self that we originally assumed, is just these sensory experiences arising and passing away and the attention focusing on them.
As for emptiness, it requires a deeper penetration into consciousness. Emptiness reveals that everying is not physical and solid at all... but are 'holographically united'. There is no way to accurately describe it as it is not the way a mind unaware to it will think. Like the first insight of no-self, emptiness is a paradigm shift... towards ever clearer seeing of the truth of Reality.
Please understand that seeing emptiness is not end of story. At least, not for my case. I am currently working on the remaining defilements. This doesn't meant that i will need to forcefully remove them. Forceful willing will only result in suppression. Rather, the 'method' is to be aware of and be equanimous to whatever that is arising in order for them to pass away naturally. This 'aware of' is not as easy as it sounds.
Regards
Originally posted by simpo_:Hi Beautiful951,
Firstly, I will like to state that i am still learning so can only share from my own opinion. Please read with a pint of salt.
Emptiness is not a belief but an insight that can be borne from experience. It is better to experience it for oneself as before and after the insight, it can still be 'unbelievable' for the mind. Emptiness is quite hard to experience and usually the realisation of no-self comes before emptiness.
As mentioned, no-self will be easier to realise. I will describe the insight of no-self/egolessness generally here. When doing insight meditation one may realise that the sensory experiences (including mental formation/thinking) are arising and passing away independently of one another. That is, seeing is seeing, hearing is hearing, thinking is thinking and they are all flowing independently. With that observation, one will realise that there is no self holding all these sensory experiences together. Self that we originally assumed, is just these sensory experiences arising and passing away and the attention focusing on them.
As for emptiness, it requires a deeper penetration into consciousness. Emptiness reveals that everying is not physical and solid at all... but are 'holographically united'. There is no way to accurately describe it as it is not the way a mind unaware to it will think. Like the first insight of no-self, emptiness is a paradigm shift... towards ever clearer seeing of the truth of Reality.
Please understand that seeing emptiness is not end of story. At least, not for my case. I am currently working on the remaining defilements. This doesn't meant that i will need to forcefully remove them. Forceful willing will only result in suppression. Rather, the 'method' is to be aware of and be equanimous to whatever that is arising in order for them to pass away naturally. This 'aware of' is not as easy as it sounds.
Regards
thanks for sharing your experience... nice
In the gap between two thoughts, turning the light of knowing within, we touch our innermost essence, the pure sense of presence-existence-knowing. It is certain, still, complete, non-dual, formless. There is no doubts about it. It's utterly still in that direct authentication... this gives rise to an impression of being the Eternal Witness beyond and observing transient thoughts and phenomena. It becomes a pure identity, a center and core behind all experiences.
But further contemplation will lead to the seeing that all forms and transient phenomena and manifestation are equally certain, still, complete, non-dual. It is just as intimately 'you' as the pure sense of existence and being, and yet there is no 'you' there at all - just the mountains, the scenery, the wind, the sky, the bird chirping. In the absence of an identity, you are whatever arises. In place of the absence of a separate self is the presence of the entire world standing/shining on its own (without a separate perceiver) in its brilliant luminosity, purity, magical-ness, aliveness, blissfullness, centrelessness, infinitude and borderlessness and stillness (not a dead stillness but stillness of the transience).
We realize that all phenomena and experiences have the same taste as the initial glimpse of pure awareness as pure presence-existence or I AM. That experience, it's certainty, non-duality, completeness and perfection, etc... are all equal characteristics of all experience and manifestation and forms. All forms and formless states are of one taste.
Prior to this deeper seeing, there is the tendency to cling to a center, a formless background observer, a space-like awareness that is behind and contains all passing thoughts, feelings, sensations. There is a tendency to cling to that formless I AM as our purest identity. Why? When all thoughts subside, we experience the formless pure sense of presence, and with its certainty, completeness, intimacy/non-duality, it is easy to take that as our purest identity. It's non-duality implies there is no separation between 'you' and 'that'. There is absolutely no distance, only pure intimacy. But later, we see that this applies not only to Presence experienced in the formless state, but as all manifestations. Yes, there is just the sun, the mountain, the river, all are without distance because there is no 'you' at the center separate from 'that'... The framework of a subject operating in an objective world of space and time collapses into a pure intimacy and nakedness of experiencing.
This seeing leads to lessening the tendency to cling to a 'purest state of presence' or a formless background. There is also no more tendency to dissociate yourself from manifestation, for whatever manifest is pure consciousness itself.
Well... almost. Cos the tendencies are deep and they will resurface - the fear and tendency to cling to and re-confirm a 'familiar state of presence', the fear of letting go a previous experience of pure consciousness (which leads to overlooking This arising non-dual experience), the fear of letting go of the self/Self and simply let hearing be hearing without hearer, let seeing be seeing without seer, let the universe reveal itself freshly in each moment as a complete pure consciousness 'event' of itself. And if all manifestation is equally pure, pristine and complete, why the need to cling to a purest identity?
You are not just the formless presence/knower/consciousness... you are all forms, you are the universe univers-ing, you are whatever is arising moment to moment as a complete non-dual experience in itself... There is no background awareness and foreground phenomena happening in awareness... there is simply foreground pure consciousness always, be it the pure existence experienced in a formless mode (e.g. I AM, aka the 'thought realm' as Thusness puts it), or in all forms... the making of a non-dual experience into a background is simply trying to capture and reify a moment of pure consciousness.
I have always been interested to know what throws me out of pure non-dual perception...
And in the past few days, it is becoming clearer to me.
It is the sense of self, latent or imprinted in consciousness as a form of deep conditioning, that becomes temporarily in abeyance when one is experiencing pure consciousness... (well to be more precise, each moment IS pure consciousness, though the sense of self apparently obscures the direct perception of it)
However challenging circumstances or for whatever reasons, the sense of self will arise in the form of feelings and emotions due to the karmic propensities/deep conditioning and tendencies. Any kind of feelings, good, bad, or somewhat neutral... whatever feelings that arise is linked with the sense of self. Fear, anxiety, desire, anger, or any form of subtle aversion and boredom (a.k.a just feeling sian). All forms of mental and emotional stresses... whenever they manifest, luminosity is 'dulled', or rather, obscured. This concurred with Thusness telling me before that stress will throw one out of non-dual, and also Longchen saying how stress can make one lose obvious sight of non-duality.
And the antidote? To remember the pure sensate happiness/bliss when you experience pure non-dual luminosity... I have described this bliss previously. When you remember and 'activate' this... the good/bad/neutral feelings and emotions all subside and in place of feelings and the ensuing sense of self related to the feelings, there is simply a pure appreciation and wonder at the aliveness and richness and texture of this very moment of experiencing, the pure wonder and magical aliveness of typing on the keyboard, the screen and the words appearing on the screen... the entire sensate universe expressing in pure luminosity right now without dualistic (subject/object) separation.
This became clearer to me over the days as I observe how the luminosity appears intense to being 'dulled'...
And then today, I realised something from the Actual Freedom site that talked about the same thing* (it didn't occur to me about this before, but it confirmed my experience and understanding). And as I was reading Daniel M. Ingram's description and comparison between the classic Vipassana system versus Actual Freedom practice... it suddenly occured how similar my personal practice is with AF compared to other systems of practice. I think I will look into AF materials more when I have time.
*[Richard]: ‘If one deactivates the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings and activates the felicitous feelings (happiness, delight, joie de vivre, bonhomie and so on) with this freed-up affective energy, in conjunction with sensuousness (delectation, enjoyment, appreciation, relish, zest, gusto and so on), then the ensuing sense of amazement, marvel and wonder can result in apperceptiveness (unmediated perception).’ Richard, Selected Correspondence, Self-immolation 2
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:I have always been interested to know what throws me out of pure non-dual perception...
And in the past few days, it is becoming clearer to me.
It is the sense of self, latent or imprinted in consciousness as a form of deep conditioning, that becomes temporarily in abeyance when one is experiencing pure consciousness... (well to be more precise, each moment IS pure consciousness, though the sense of self apparently obscures the direct perception of it)
However challenging circumstances or for whatever reasons, the sense of self will arise in the form of feelings and emotions due to the karmic propensities/deep conditioning and tendencies. Any kind of feelings, good, bad, or somewhat neutral... whatever feelings that arise is linked with the sense of self. Fear, anxiety, desire, anger, or any form of subtle aversion and boredom (a.k.a just feeling sian). All forms of mental and emotional stresses... whenever they manifest, luminosity is 'dulled', or rather, obscured. This concurred with Thusness telling me before that stress will throw one out of non-dual, and also Longchen saying how stress can make one lose obvious sight of non-duality.
And the antidote? To remember the pure sensate happiness/bliss when you experience pure non-dual luminosity... I have described this bliss previously. When you remember and 'activate' this... the good/bad/neutral feelings and emotions all subside and in place of feelings and the ensuing sense of self related to the feelings, there is simply a pure appreciation and wonder at the aliveness and richness and texture of this very moment of experiencing, the pure wonder and magical aliveness of typing on the keyboard, the screen and the words appearing on the screen... the entire sensate universe expressing in pure luminosity right now without dualistic (subject/object) separation.
This became clearer to me over the days as I observe how the luminosity appears intense to being 'dulled'...
And then today, I realised something from the Actual Freedom site that talked about the same thing* (it didn't occur to me about this before, but it confirmed my experience and understanding). And as I was reading Daniel M. Ingram's description and comparison between the classic Vipassana system versus Actual Freedom practice... it suddenly occured how similar my personal practice is with AF compared to other systems of practice. I think I will look into AF materials more when I have time.
*[Richard]: ‘If one deactivates the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings and activates the felicitous feelings (happiness, delight, joie de vivre, bonhomie and so on) with this freed-up affective energy, in conjunction with sensuousness (delectation, enjoyment, appreciation, relish, zest, gusto and so on), then the ensuing sense of amazement, marvel and wonder can result in apperceptiveness (unmediated perception).’ Richard, Selected Correspondence, Self-immolation 2
Yes you should look into it. It is quite well written. It is also time you bring ur experience of Presence to the foreground by way of Self-immolation. Just be sincere and move on.
Originally posted by Thusness:Yes you should look into it. It is quite well written. It is also time you bring ur experience of Presence to the foreground by way of Self-immolation. Just be sincere and move on.
I see.. thanks for your advice.
You reminded me of the question 'What does it feel like to be dead?' which resulted in a (or two) rather intense PCEs back in 2008. Though I understand that to be just glimpses of what remains (the 'actual stuff of the universe') when the identity goes into temporary abeyance, and not the final eradication of identity-clinging...
Originally posted by simpo_:Hi Beautiful951,
Firstly, I will like to state that i am still learning so can only share from my own opinion. Please read with a pint of salt.
Emptiness is not a belief but an insight that can be borne from experience. It is better to experience it for oneself as before and after the insight, it can still be 'unbelievable' for the mind. Emptiness is quite hard to experience and usually the realisation of no-self comes before emptiness.
As mentioned, no-self will be easier to realise. I will describe the insight of no-self/egolessness generally here. When doing insight meditation one may realise that the sensory experiences (including mental formation/thinking) are arising and passing away independently of one another. That is, seeing is seeing, hearing is hearing, thinking is thinking and they are all flowing independently. With that observation, one will realise that there is no self holding all these sensory experiences together. Self that we originally assumed, is just these sensory experiences arising and passing away and the attention focusing on them.
As for emptiness, it requires a deeper penetration into consciousness. Emptiness reveals that everying is not physical and solid at all... but are 'holographically united'. There is no way to accurately describe it as it is not the way a mind unaware to it will think. Like the first insight of no-self, emptiness is a paradigm shift... towards ever clearer seeing of the truth of Reality.
Please understand that seeing emptiness is not end of story. At least, not for my case. I am currently working on the remaining defilements. This doesn't meant that i will need to forcefully remove them. Forceful willing will only result in suppression. Rather, the 'method' is to be aware of and be equanimous to whatever that is arising in order for them to pass away naturally. This 'aware of' is not as easy as it sounds.
Regards
Thanks for the sharing...
I was reminded of Bahiya Sutta while you said 'seeing is seeing'...
http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2008/01/ajahn-amaro-on-non-duality-and.html
In the seen, there is only the seen,
in the heard, there is only the heard,
in the sensed, there is only the sensed,
in the cognized, there is only the cognized.
Thus you should see that
indeed there is no thing here;
this, Bahiya, is how you should train yourself.
Since, Bahiya, there is for you
in the seen, only the seen,
in the heard, only the heard,
in the sensed, only the sensed,
in the cognized, only the cognized,
and you see that there is no thing here,
you will therefore see that
indeed there is no thing there.
As you see that there is no thing there,
you will see that
you are therefore located neither in the world of this,
nor in the world of that,
nor in any place
betwixt the two.
This alone is the end of suffering.” (ud. 1.10)
-----
My own comments:
Non-duality is very simple and obvious and direct... and yet always missed! Due to a very fundamental flaw in our ordinary dualistic framework of things... and our deep rooted belief in duality.
In the seen, there is just the seen! It is completely non-dual... there is no 'the seen + a perceiver here seeing the seen'.... The seen is precisely the seeing! There is not two or three things: seer, seeing, and the seen. That split is entirely conceptual (though taken to be reality)... it is a conclusion due to a referencing back of a direct experience (like a sight or a sound) to a centerpoint. This centerpoint could be a vague identification and contraction to one's mind and body (and this 'center of identification within the body' could be like two inches behind your eyes or on the lower body or elsewhere), or the centerpoint could be an identification with a previous nondual recognition or authentication like the I AM or Eternal Witness experience/realization. It could even be that one has gained sufficient stability to simply rest in the state of formless Beingness throughout all experiences, but if they cling to their formless samadhi or a 'purest state of Presence', they will miss the fact that they are not just the formless pure existence but that they are/existence is also all the stuff of the universe arising moment to moment... And when one identifies oneself as this entity that is behind and separated from the seen, this prevents the direct experience of what manifestation and no-self is.
But in direct experience it is simply not like that: there is nothing like subject-object duality in direct experience.... only This - seen, heard, sensed, cognized. Prior to self-referencing, this is what exists in its primordial purity.
So, in the seen, there's just That! Scenery, trees, road, etc... but when I label these as such, instead of putting a more subjective term such as 'experiencing'.... they tend to conjure images of an objective world that is 'out there' made of multiple different objects existing in time and space separated by distances.
But no, the Buddha says: in the seen, just the seen! There is no thing 'here' (apart from the seen).... nor something 'there' (as if the seen is an objective reality out there). From the perspective of the logical framework of things, the world is made of distance, depth, entities, objects, time, space, and so on, but if you take away the reference point of a self... there is simply Pure Consciousness of What Is (whatever manifests) without distance or fragmentation. You need at least two reference points to measure distance... but all reference points (be it of an apparent subjective self or an apparent external object) are entirely illusory and conceptual. If there is no 'self' here, and that you are equally everything... what distance is there? Without a self, there is no 'out there'...
The seen is neither subjective nor objective.... it just IS....
There is pure seeing, pure hearing, everything arising without an external reference other than the scenery being the seeing without seer, the sound being the hearing without hearer (and vice versa: the hearing being just the sound, the manifestation).
But even the word 'hearing', 'seeing', 'awareness' can conjure an image of what Awareness is.... As if there is really an entity called 'hearing' or 'seeing' or 'awareness' that remains and stays constant and unchanged.
But.... if you contemplate on "How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?", or, "How am I experiencing the moment of hearing?", or "How am I experiencing the moment of seeing?" or "How am I experiencing the moment of being aware?"
All the bullshit concepts, constructs and images of an 'aliveness', a 'hearing', a 'seeing', an 'awareness' simply dissolves in the direct experiencing of whatever arises... just 'seeing is seeing, hearing is hearing, thinking is thinking and they are all flowing independently', with 'no self holding all these sensory experiences together'
If readers find my explanation a bit too hard to grasp, please read Ajahn Amaro's link because he explains it much better than me.
-----Original Message-----
From: J
Sent: 10/11/2010 10:16:54 PM
To: AEN
Subject: self inquiry
Hi AEN,
Just managed to scan through the past few posts you wrote. They are quite insightful. In summary you are beginning to experience the ‘taste’ you described in the “certainty of being” of the formless presence in transient phenomena. That is what I meant by bringing ‘this’ from the background (formlessness) to the foreground (forms). It is also what I meant by the ‘fabric and texture of Awareness’ in forms. Below are some of the points that came to mind after reading them. I will just jot down some of them for sharing purposes.
1. One Taste
You mentioned about ‘one taste’ but do take note that what you are experiencing is just the ‘same taste’ of luminous essence, not the ‘same taste’ in Emptiness nature. I use the term ‘essence’ differently from Dzogchen. In Dzogchen, luminosity is the ‘nature’ and Emptiness is the ‘essence’. As I see Emptiness as the absence of an essence in whatever arises, I do not feel appropriate expressing the Dzogchen way.
2. “Obvious and direct…yet always missed!”
I like how you expressed it, it is quite apt. However I sense that you may have underestimated the power and full meaning of ‘deeply rooted in consciousness’. If we are unaware of the impact, we will not realize what is meant by ‘latent tendencies’. Try imagining ‘someone’ standing right in front of you yet you are unable to see him because you are under a magical spell that is planted in the deep most of your consciousness. If you are unaware of the latent deep, whatever realized is merely a surface understanding. Day in day out, these tendencies are always in action. You may want to ask yourself will the latent deep find its way up even in a PCE mode?
3. Feels Universe, Pure Consciousness, Pure Aggregates
“You are not just the formless presence/knower/consciousness... you are all forms, you are the universe univers-ing, you are whatever is arising moment to moment as a complete non-dual experience in itself... There is no background awareness and foreground phenomena happening in awareness... there is simply foreground pure consciousness always, be it the pure existence experienced in a formless mode (e.g. I AM, aka the 'thought realm' as Thusness puts it), or in all forms... the making of a non-dual experience into a background is simply trying to capture and reify a moment of pure consciousness.”
I remember writing this to Simpo few years ago in his forum. It is related to his experience of ‘feeling light and weightless’. This also relates to mind-body drop and your dream about ‘transparency’. Being ‘light, weightless and transparent’ is the result of dissolving the body-construct. It is quite an obvious contrast moving from ‘Self/self’ to no-self. Prior to what you have written you should also experience this, otherwise you are being too focused on being ‘brilliance and luminous’ of the 'actuality'.
On the othe hand, feeling ‘universe’ has to do with the deconstruction of ‘identity’ and ‘personality’. You have to have clearer insight of what ‘deconstructions’ leads to what experience.
The text in bold is quite well expressed but knows the dependent originated nature of consciousness. There is the experience of primordial purity of the aggregates and 18 dhatus but there is no 'a substratum background' that is called 'pure consciousness'. The sense of self is dissolved and is replaced by a sense of inter-penertration.
. 4. No agent and the intensity of luminosity
In the seen, there is just the seen! It is completely non-dual... there is no 'the seen + a perceiver here seeing the seen'.... The seen is precisely the seeing! There is not two or three things: seer, seeing, and the seen. That split is entirely conceptual (though taken to be reality)...
Well expressed! But in the subsequent paragraph, you said,
“All the bullshit concepts, constructs and images of an 'aliveness', a 'hearing', a 'seeing', an 'awareness' simply dissolves in the direct experiencing of whatever arises... just 'seeing is seeing, hearing is hearing, thinking is thinking and they are all flowing independently', with 'no self holding all these sensory experiences together'”
In the article on http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2009/03/on-anatta-emptiness-and-spontaneous.html, I mentioned about the 2 stanza. There is the no-agent aspect and there is the intensity of luminosity aspect. I find that your present experience is still centered on the luminosity aspect. You are directly experiencing seamlessness of any happening where no clear line of demarcation can be drawn between the subject-object split. You realized the boundary is purely illusionary and is clear about the cause that resulted in such division but still, that is not the ‘essence’ of an experiential insight of anatta in my opinion. There is a difference in saying "there is no split between thinking and thinker, the thinking itself is 'me'" and "there is thinking, no thinker". You must be aware that having immediate and direct experience but with dualistic framework intact and complete replacement of the dualistic framework entirely with DO (dependent origination) yields very different experiential insight; you may want to investigate further and move from "they are all flowing independently" to "manifesting in seamless inter-dependencies."
5. "How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?" (HAIETMOBA)
But.... if you contemplate on "How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?", or, "How am I experiencing the moment of hearing?", or "How am I experiencing the moment of seeing?" or "How am I experiencing the moment of being aware?"
"How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?" (HAIETMOBA) is the key question of the AF. I will not comment on it but how does it differ from the question “Without using any symbols of ‘I’, how is ‘I’ experienced?” Also how it differs from the question “Who am I?” -- the question that led you to the realization of “I AM”.
As you get clearer and clearer where exactly are all these questions leading you and the mode of perception that are involved in I AM realization and PCEs, you will have to asked yourself sincerely is this the ultimate mode of perception that will lead you towards genuine freedom. Is being lockup permanently in PCE the way towards liberation and how it differs from seeking permanent uninterrupted abiding in “I AMness”.
Originally posted by Thusness:Hi AEN,
Just managed to scan through the past few posts you wrote. They are quite insightful. In summary you are beginning to experience the ‘taste’ you described in the “certainty of being” of the formless presence in transient phenomena. That is what I meant by bringing ‘this’ from the background (formlessness) to the foreground (forms). It is also what I meant by the ‘fabric and texture of Awareness’ in forms. Below are some of the points that came to mind after reading them. I will just jot down some of them for sharing purposes.
1. One Taste
You mentioned about ‘one taste’ but do take note that what you are experiencing is just the ‘same taste’ of luminous essence, not the ‘same taste’ in Emptiness nature. I use the term ‘essence’ differently from Dzogchen. In Dzogchen, luminosity is the ‘nature’ and Emptiness is the ‘essence’. As I see Emptiness as the absence of an essence in whatever arises, I do not feel appropriate expressing the Dzogchen way.2. “Obvious and direct…yet always missed!”
I like how you expressed it, it is quite apt. However I sense that you may have underestimated the power and full meaning of ‘deeply rooted in consciousness’. If we are unaware of the impact, we will not realize what is meant by ‘latent tendencies’. Try imagining ‘someone’ standing right in front of you yet you are unable to see him because you are under a magical spell that is planted in the deep most of your consciousness. If you are unaware of the latent deep, whatever realized is merely a surface understanding. Day in day out, these tendencies are always in action. You may want to ask yourself will the latent deep find its way up even in a PCE mode?3. Feels Universe, Pure Consciousness, Pure Aggregates
I remember writing this to Simpo few years ago in his forum. It is related to his experience of ‘feeling light and weightless’. This also relates to mind-body drop and your dream about ‘transparency’. Being ‘light, weightless and transparent’ is the result of dissolving the body-construct. It is quite an obvious contrast moving from ‘Self/self’ to no-self. Prior to what you have written you should also experience this, otherwise you are being too focused on being ‘brilliance and luminous’ of the 'actuality'.
On the othe hand, feeling ‘universe’ has to do with the deconstruction of ‘identity’ and ‘personality’. You have to have clearer insight of what ‘deconstructions’ leads to what experience.
The text in bold is quite well expressed but knows the dependent originated nature of consciousness. There is the experience of primordial purity of the aggregates and 18 dhatus but there is no 'a substratum background' that is called 'pure consciousness'.
. 4. No agent and the intensity of luminosity
Well expressed! But in the subsequent paragraph, you said,
In the article on http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2009/03/on-anatta-emptiness-and-spontaneous.html, I mentioned about the 2 stanza. There is the no-agent aspect and there is the intensity of luminosity aspect. I find that your present experience is still centered on the luminosity aspect. You are directly experiencing seamlessness of any happening where no clear line of demarcation can be drawn between the subject-object split. You realized the boundary is purely illusionary and is clear about the cause that resulted in such division but still, that is not the ‘essence’ of an experiential insight of anatta in my opinion. There is a difference in saying "there is no split between thinking and thinker, the thinking itself is 'me'" and "there is thinking, no thinker". You must be aware that having immediate and direct experience but with dualistic framework intact and complete replacement of the dualistic framework entirely with DO (dependent origination) yields very different experiential insight; you may want to investigate further and move from "they are all flowing independently" to "manifesting in seamless inter-dependencies."
5. "How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?" (HAIETMOBA)
"How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?" (HAIETMOBA) is the key question of the AF. I will not comment on it but how does it differ from the question “Without using any symbols of ‘I’, how is ‘I’ experienced?” Also how it differs from the question “Who am I?” -- the question that led you to the realization of “I AM”.
As you get clearer and clearer where exactly are all these questions leading you and the mode of perception that are involved in I AM realization and PCEs, you will have to asked yourself sincerely is this the ultimate mode of perception that will lead you towards genuine freedom. Is being lockup permanently in PCE the way towards liberation and how it differs from seeking permanent uninterrupted abiding in “I AMness”.
Hi, thanks a lot for the very detailed comment... I believe the latent tendencies surface even in PCE mode or might bring one out of a PCE mode.
As for the body construct... I was just contemplating on it this morning... and coincidentally I listened to a new interview with Joan Tollifson yesterday that talked about the same thing: 94. Joan Tollifson – The world goes on the same.
And this morning before you posted your comment, I was just telling Michael (emphasis in bold):
(10:35 AM) michael: the talk on anatta is interesting
the no agent
(10:36 AM) michael: the sense of 'I' is still very strong here. it's like a strong feeling that continues from moment to moment
(10:37 AM) michael: hard to get rid of
(10:37 AM) michael: do you bring the sense of self into the foreground and sort of flatten experience and remain as witness? is that what leads to nondual
(10:38 AM) AEN: but notice that that sensation is simply another sensation... it may feel like a contraction to a region behind the head or behind the chest or somewhere... but it is merely that, a bundle of sensations and attention focusing on it. but in the direct experience of seeing and hearing, there is just that - sounds, sights, sensations without a feeler.... only on hindsight do you reference that direct experience to an experiencer
so simply stay with the direct experience
(10:38 AM) AEN: experiencing*
(10:39 AM) AEN: that means, in the seen just the seen, in the heard just the heard... like what buddha taught
(10:40 AM) michael: it seems like a contract.. yeah
but it's also a sense of locality
a center
sounds seem like they're over there
not here
(10:41 AM) AEN: thats because you are not directly experiencing sound... you are referencing back the experience of sound to a conceptual feeler.
(10:44 AM) AEN: the holding and attachment is a deeply rooted conditioning... it keeps surfacing and prevents nondual... actually every experience is already nondual, just that the sense of self keeps surfacing and obscures it. thats why contemplative practice is necessary, like 'how am i experiencing the moment of being alive?'
(10:45 AM) michael: what's the being alive part for
(10:45 AM) michael: if there's experience then isn't being alive sort of a given
(10:45 AM) michael: anyway, i don't see how that's any different then mindfulness, isn't it just the same? just being aware and present in the moment of everything that's occuring
(10:49 AM) AEN: its pretty much the same... just that there is a stressing on luminosity as forms, and self-immolation
which actually is very buddhist
(10:49 AM) AEN: mindfulness wld depend on who is teaching. even eckhart tolle teaches mindfulness
though the anatta experience or insight isnt that clear
(10:50 AM) AEN: u're right that experience and aliveness is synonymous...
(10:50 AM) AEN: aliveness is just a word.... its simply the direct experiencing which is actual
(10:59 AM) AEN: aliveness is the intensity of luminosity
(11:00 AM) AEN: its about experiencing the vividness, liveliness, wonder of sights, sounds, etc
thusness said he'll comment on my posts in certainty of being... so u might want to keep a lookout there
(11:02 AM) AEN: u mentioned about a sense of locality... thats the bond of/identification with the body... like greg goode said, 'Yes, based on a few habitual things, such as the prominence of the visual sense over hearing, taste and smell. Also based on the association that arises over time between thinking of one's self and the subtle muscular contractions in the forehead region. It makes us think that this is where we are.' thats also why in nondual the 'body/mind drop-off' experience is important.
(11:02 AM) AEN: i mentioned that in the dream i see those AF ppl are semi transparent... i think its a symbolic reminder to me even tho i didnt consciously understand what it meant during the dream
(11:09 AM) michael: interesting
(11:10 AM) michael: yeah there is a connection between the physical contraction and the sense of self
as well as the visual sense
(11:11 AM) AEN: yea... if u have an intense non dual experience, the shift from behind your eyes or inside your head to 'being the world' is very obvious... like ken wilber said, "You disappear from merely being behind your eyes, and you become the All, you directly and actually feel that your basic identity is everything that is arising moment to moment (just as previously you felt that your identity was with this finite, partial, separate, mortal coil of flesh you call a body). "
(11:11 AM) michael: how do you feel about desire? because lately it's been hard for me lol. i've experienced a somewhat obsession with tech, even though i've always had it.. for some reason it's been more amplified, like recently i developed an obsession over finding a network media player and a plasma tv, i'd spend hours just researching about them and obsessing over it
(11:12 AM) michael: i know that balance is important and maybe asceticism is an extreme
i guess i'm just going the other extreme
aha
(11:12 AM) michael: have u ever had issues balancing desire with equanimity?
it's so hard in this society..
(11:14 AM) AEN: yeah. sometimes i also have that obsession... but in the end i realise actually it is unnecessary.... anyway personally obsessions and attachments are still pretty hard to overcome for me... it may or may not be an obsession to 'get something'. but when they arise, there is a contraction... like what i wrote about how emotions and stress prevents vivid nondual experience
(11:15 AM) AEN: you have to gradually let go of them... practicing HAIETMOBA also helps. this will bring you back to the moment instead of attaching to an imaginary future where you 'get' something
(11:15 AM) AEN: if you experience aliveness, then you feel complete in this moment
desire arise due to a subject-object split
(11:18 AM) AEN: then u can still do your research but the desire or obsession element isnt there... you are much more interested in the here and now
(11:18 AM) AEN: the vividness, richness and aliveness of this moment
(11:31 AM) michael: hmm i see
thanks
(11:59 AM) michael: so it's about focusing on the quality of experience rather than the content
(11:59 AM) michael: and not being partial to a particular area of experience, sort of being in biased
unbiased
(12:00 PM) michael: the quality of aliveness and how all areas of experience have that
(12:00 PM) michael: things are only different when the mind thinks
(4:44 PM) AEN: its being nondual, luminous, actual... and there is a sense of completeness and perfection of the moment. just the vividness of actuality, what is present as the universe right now... there is no more sense of self and no more object of desire, only pure present moment of aliveness. an object of desire which you will have 'in the future' are not actual... are not what is present right now. it only lies in imagination.... and you are too interested and captivated by what is actual to be obsessed with an imagination or idea or desire for a currently-non-existing-object in your head
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If there is anything I said that is inapt feel free to comment...
Also I think the interdependent seamlessness is still beyond me at the moment but thanks for pointing out.
IMO... "How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?" leads to the direct experiencing of the luminosity of foreground phenomena... 'Who am I' leads to dissociation from foreground phenomena into the formless pure sense of existence and leads to a powerful conviction of having found one's pure identity. The question "Without using any symbols of ‘I’, how is ‘I’ experienced?" likewise leads to the experience of Self, with the emphasis on going beyond concepts.
As to your question 'Is being lockup permanently in PCE the way towards liberation and how it differs from seeking permanent uninterrupted abiding in “I AMness”.': currently I might be inclined towards the PCE mode... though I also understand that, Whatever IS, IS... be it formless presence... waking state pce... dream... etc. Whatever manifest is simply the undeniable actual manifestation of the moment. However I have no experience of non dual in dream, dream is still pretty much an unconscious experience for me apart from occasional lucid dreaming episodes.
However, understanding that whatever manifest is simply the natural manifestation of the moment... I do not try to sustain formless presence, or sustain waking PCE into dream, or any other modes of experience (which would be 'unnatural')... When I sleep, I simply sleep and be like a dead log.
“Since everything is but an apparition, perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.” -Longchenpa
Update: Oh and regarding 'On the othe hand, feeling ‘universe’ has to do with the deconstruction of ‘identity’ and ‘personality’. You have to have clearer insight of what ‘deconstructions’ leads to what experience.' - it's my experience that dropping personality leads to experiencing Awareness as not an individual or personal presence but a Universal Awareness sustaining and containing all lives and forms... There is a sense of an all pervading Awareness that does not belong to any particular person or object but sustains them. At this point, Awareness is still treated as a background, but it is now seen as the Source and Ground of all beings and things... not a personal presence.
However... the non-dual aspect is different as it is no longer 'Universal Awareness' but 'Awareness is the Universe'. There is simply the universe manifesting this moment as a pure nondual consciousness experience... Consciousness/Awareness is this arising sound, sight, thought, etc. Awareness AS Universe... no longer Universal Awareness. This part requires dissolving the sense of an ultimate background identity, the Big Self of Universal Awareness...
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Update: Oh and regarding 'On the othe hand, feeling ‘universe’ has to do with the deconstruction of ‘identity’ and ‘personality’. You have to have clearer insight of what ‘deconstructions’ leads to what experience.' - it's my experience that dropping personality leads to experiencing Awareness as not an individual or personal presence but a Universal Awareness sustaining and containing all lives and forms... There is a sense of an all pervading Awareness that does not belong to any particular person or object but sustains them. At this point, Awareness is still treated as a background, but it is now seen as the Source and Ground of all beings and things... not a personal presence.
However... the non-dual aspect is different as it is no longer 'Universal Awareness' but 'Awareness is the Universe'. There is simply the universe manifesting this moment as a pure nondual consciousness experience... Consciousness/Awareness is this arising sound, sight, thought, etc. Awareness AS Universe... no longer Universal Awareness. This part requires dissolving the sense of an ultimate background identity, the Big Self of Universal Awareness...
Great insight!
However you are still not clear about where exactly the questions are leading you. Think deeper and understand what I told you in msn. I got to go now. :)
Originally posted by Thusness:Great insight!
However you are still not clear about where exactly the questions are leading you. Think deeper and understand what I told you in msn. I got to go now. :)
I'll try again but a short one as I have to go back to camp...
All the questions are leading to the direct, immediate, non-conceptual perception of reality. However each question may be focused and directed to a particular aspect of reality... the 'Who am I' question is asked to directly experience the 'I AM', the 'I', as the formless pure sense of existence, while the question of 'How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?' is directed at the experience of Aliveness in the foreground. This leads to the insight of non dual in the foreground.
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:I'll try again but a short one as I have to go back to camp...
All the questions are leading to the direct, immediate, non-conceptual perception of reality. However each question may be focused and directed to a particular aspect of reality... the 'Who am I' question is asked to directly experience the 'I AM', the 'I', as the formless pure sense of existence, while the question of 'How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?' is directed at the experience of Aliveness in the foreground. This leads to the insight of non dual in the foreground.
Yes.
"How am I experiencing the moment of being alive?" -- aliveness
"How am I experiencing the moment of hearing?" -- sound
"How am I experiencing the moment of seeing?" -- scenery
"Who am I?" – I AM
Non-dual, non-conceptual, direct and immediate mode of perception (acronym NDNCDIMOP) and the experience is PCEs. Actually the perception is the experience.
Now even though it is the same NDNCDIMOP, if you were to start with the AF question of “how am I experiencing this moment of being alive” and have NDNCDIMOP in the foreground and later contemplate on “Who am I”, you will still not have an immediate realization of “I AM”.
Why despite all the pointing out over the years, the vivid powerful experience of “certainty of being”, glimpses after glimpses of NDNCDIMOP and even after the clear realization of the cause of the split, there is no on-going thorough NDNCDIMOP? Even though you have quite clear insight of bringing this NDNCDIMOP to the foreground, it will only not last more than a few months. You will have to cycle through again.
I have started reading on many other websites about buddhism and also beginning to get confused.Is it possible I just concentrate on compassion and insight meditation and don't think of other things so much?
Originally posted by Beautiful951:I have started reading on many other websites about buddhism and also beginning to get confused.Is it possible I just concentrate on compassion and insight meditation and don't think of other things so much?
You should go for courses that are conducted by qualified Teachers. It is very difficult for you to do it on our own.
Can try http://www.kmspks.org/
Originally posted by simpo_:You should go for courses that are conducted by qualified Teachers. It is very difficult for you to do it on our own.
Can try http://www.kmspks.org/
Is there any talks on buddhism? I mean in English? My chinese is bad.
Originally posted by likeyou:
Is there any talks on buddhism? I mean in English? My chinese is bad.
As far as i know, the course are conducted in both English and Chinese. I recently went for an insight meditation retreat there. The Venerable use both Chinese and English.
Originally posted by simpo_:As far as i know, the course are conducted in both English and Chinese. I recently went for an insight meditation retreat there. The Venerable use both Chinese and English.
Hi Simpo, if there is any talks, do let me know...I mean if possible in english, chinese I can understand very simple sentences, but in buddhism, I will have trouble understanding.
Many thanks for your help Simpo.
Originally posted by likeyou:
Is there any talks on buddhism? I mean in English? My chinese is bad.
Bright Hill Temple used to hold talks on Buddhism in both Chinese and English. You can always go to the following website to look out for talks in English :
http://www.kmspks.org/index.php
Buddhist Fellowship also have talks in English. Website as follow :
http://www.buddhistfellowship.org/cms/
Following is a talk in English which you may be interested. I will be going for this talk.