How to overcome lust and sexual thoughts?
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removed improper reply - aen
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it is the same answer as HOW TO OVERCOME IN-BORN MATERIALISM AND BITCHINESS IN WOMEN
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Originally posted by Fcukpap:
it is the same answer as HOW TO OVERCOME IN-BORN MATERIALISM AND BITCHINESS IN WOMEN
Rather deprived, aren't you?
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TS already gone....
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hahaha...everyone is deprived of material and immaterial things...sometimes when u get too much and have seen right through the heart....we r back to square one...
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Originally posted by Fcukpap:
hahaha...everyone is deprived of material and immaterial things...sometimes when u get too much and have seen right through the heart....we r back to square one...
Cheerios man! Good on you!
Happy to see you laughing it off! Square one is always a good point to start; from a Buddhist point of view!
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Dear Franceso Totti,
This is a hard one. It is too easy to slide into the hole and too difficult to get out.
Firstly, you got to have lots of determination and patience with yourself and never give up no matter how many times you give in to your desires. Unlike other kinds of wants, this is a really tough one. I do not know how deep you are into it, but regardless, never give up.
Next, it takes a whole lot of restraining. Restraining your eyes is the first step. If you know that some sights or some pictures are going to stimulate you, then force yourself not to look at it. Restrain yourself. However, take everything gradually. If you feel that the more you restrain yourself, the worse your urge becomes, then release some restraint. You got to adjust yourself. Always make the training tough but not so tough until it breaks and it back-fires on you.
Next, find a temple or teacher and practice concentration meditation. Establish yourself FIRMLY in it. I mean really firmly that you really like to be meditating and it becomes almost a second nature to you. This takes a whole lot of time. So have patience. A deep addiction in sex and lust can easily take several years to cure and many many relapses. I mean really many! But you just have to keep on trying. So during this whole time, cultivate your concentration meditation skill. The best is that you can get into Jhana. A monk, Ajahn Brahm mentioned that the bliss in Jhana is better than sex. Anyhow, if you have established your mind enough in concentration, then whenever such thoughts arise, you are able to disengage yourself from such thoughts and hold it at arms length without getting affected. Actually if you notice, these sexual thoughts come only when your mind is relatively free. When you have a lot of work to do and you throw yourself into your work, you realise that it does not appear. Sometimes, when they appear, and someone calls you to do something impt and that issue takes your mind away, you realise the sexual thoughts are immediately gone and replaced by those other thoughts. So these urges can disappear. It is just the mind. These sexual thoughts really do not have power over your mind. They are also guests. so they can leave. Realising this, you know that sometimes when you feel totally gripped by these thoughts and you have no choice, it is just like they have a veil over you. But surely you can make them leave if you master your mind and or if you have the right thought replacing techniques.
The third thing you can do is that you can make a promise to someone you really respect and love that you will restrain yourself. And you try really hard not to break the promise. This helps. So whenever you think of these thoughts, then you will also think of your promise and it gives you strength when your mind is weak.
Basically, these kind of things happen when one's mind is weak and one is lacking in determination. So training of the mind is essential. Thus while training do not be too concerned with failures. Once your mind is well trained enough, plus using the third technique, you should be able to do it.
Lastly, I would like to say that the training of the mind takes time, so sometimes it may be unrealistic to expect results in like months or maybe a year. A few years is more like it. And never give up in the face of failures. One's mind is not constant. Sometimes it's strong, sometimes weak. And when these thoughts meet you when you are strong, no problem, you can overcome them and not get affected by them. And you are happy when you have overcome them. However, sometimes when your mind is weak and these thoughts arise, you just succumb to them so easily and you become sad. Don't worry about the failures, just keep trying. You will make it one day. It is a gradual process.
Hmmm....when these thoughts come, it is like a battle ground, you become very 'high', your whole body changes (i think you understand), but just try to live through it with great determination and steadfastness.
Hopefully this helps and may the Buddha and all the devas bless you in your endeavour!
Metta_(|)_
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Only people who are too free will have time to have lust and sexual thoughts. It will be good if Francesco looks for a stressful job that requires him to work late. He will be mentally and physically stress out. By then, he will have no energy and no mood to do and think of other things. The first thing he looks forward to is to sleep when he reaches home.
Good idea eh!
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go play soccer... tats wat u master at anw. go invite gattuso n rest to help u take yr mind of clarice porn
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a normal human being wont be able to control their mind on this kind of issue.
maybe a monk have stronger will power but i believe there a limited perios of time as well
no1 can substain this kind of though.
at most of them use the "5 ladies to beat 1 banana up."
if u are able to control the thought of this . most propely u aren't human being.
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Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
a normal human being wont be able to control their mind on this kind of issue.
maybe a monk have stronger will power but i believe there a limited perios of time as well
no1 can substain this kind of though.
at most of them use the "5 ladies to beat 1 banana up."
if u are able to control the thought of this . most propely u aren't human being.
Hi, sexual lust can be overcome when you reach third stage of enlightenment or anagami. Our moderator Thusness have spoken from his experience that it is possible.
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
Hi, sexual lust can be overcome when you reach third stage of enlightenment or anagami. Our moderator Thusness have spoken from his experience that it is possible.
Yea, only Anagami-Magga (path moment of the Anagami) can eradicate illwill and sensual desire (including sex). Jhanas only suppress the sensual desire, not eradicate it.
Has the topic starter any inclination to learn meditation? perhaps he could be instructed in the 32 parts/ foulness of the form meditation by a competent teacher.
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Oh yes, the methods I mentioned are 2nd grade methods. They are comprised mainly of thought substitution methods and methods that help reduce your latent tendencies in these area. The best method is of course the meditation on the foulness of body meditation if you can find a teacher who teaches that. If you do not know any teacher, I would recommend learning from the Pa Auk Meditation Centre at 15 Teo Kim Eng Road.
Metta_(|)_
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Originally posted by soul2soul:
Yea, only Anagami-Magga (path moment of the Anagami) can eradicate illwill and sensual desire (including sex). Jhanas only suppress the sensual desire, not eradicate it.
Has the topic starter any inclination to learn meditation? perhaps he could be instructed in the 32 parts/ foulness of the form meditation by a competent teacher.
so is this the path of arhats?
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Watch disgusting porno that makes you wanna puke.
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Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
Hi, sexual lust can be overcome when you reach third stage of enlightenment or anagami. Our moderator Thusness have spoken from his experience that it is possible.
I just need to ram a cocktail of hormones into Thusness and he will it is impossible. -
Originally posted by Herzog_Zwei:
I just need to ram a cocktail of hormones into Thusness and he will it is impossible.Drugs cannot affect such persons because what the person experience is an insight is the empty and self-liberating nature of all phenomena. There is absolutely no more clinging as a result
I also posted before (sidenote: interestingly at that time which is Nov 06 I did not have much powerful glimpses of nondual yet, so my knowledge was pretty intellectual, but even right now I merely have occasional glimpses so cannot speak about this topic of overcoming pain authoratatively):
Pain is different from suffering... but when the mind grasps on it... suffering comes. Pain can only be get rid off by physical means - healing, medicine, or anaesthetic, etc. Suffering due to pain should be liberated through dharma practise.
Only a person with certain of cultivation can withstand very extreme physical pain I guess... only when one completely fuse into the pure sensation of the pain and no one 'feeling' the pain, just the pure sensation as it is.. it is impermanent, ever changing, it is not self, there is no self experiencing pain.. in short even this pain is empty in nature.. but the sensation of pain is present, just that no one is suffering the pain... the pain itself 'pains'. Of course I am far from such... so am only deducing from knowledge and might be wrong.
My taiwanese teacher went for operation last time... doctors gave him two dose of anaesthetic. Usually one dose is enough to make a person completely unconscious... first dose doesnt work, he is still completely awake. Second dose still the same... the nurse ask whether should give another dose, the doctor say... nope, like that will kill him. Then my teacher said... go ahead with the procedures, no amount of anaesthetic can numb my senses/make me unconscious.
He observed the entire medical procedure and operation, very lucidly, very clearly, without any sound much less screaming and shouting at all, just calming watching it... The doctors are completely shocked and couldn't believe he could withstand this.
Another person I know with rather similar experience.... is the 16th Karmapa.
http://www.simhas.org/karma16.html...In 1981, the Karmapa began to manifest signs of cancer, and his life was known to be near its end. His Holiness went through various recurrences and remissions. He was soon brought to the Clinic Hospital in Zion, Illinois.
His Holiness began contracting various harmful illnesses, all taken upon by himself to rid the suffering of others, and he allowed the doctors to experiment on him. They found that no matter how much sedatives were given to the Karmapa, these medicines had completely no affect on his mental clarity. One day an illness was cured, and the next a new one would be found. The doctors were baffled at how the machines would somehow be turned on and off automatically.
Through all this, they were amazed at the serene atmosphere the 16th Gyalwa Karmapa created.
In the evening on November 5th, 1981, His Holiness passed away. For three days, the heart region of the Karmapa’s body remained warm to the amazement of the medical staff, and as the medical physician put it, “I have no medical explanation for this.” His body was left in the room for these days and remained in meditation position. The Karmapa's disciples, such as Tai Situ Rinpoche, attended his body after his death. Then, on November 9th, his remains were flown back to Sikkim.... -
Originally posted by soul2soul:
Yea, only Anagami-Magga (path moment of the Anagami) can eradicate illwill and sensual desire (including sex). Jhanas only suppress the sensual desire, not eradicate it.
You're right. Jhana cannot end fetters. It is only that one is temporarily absorbed in jhanic bliss, but when one returns to ordinary life, the habits will return, because there is no insight into the true nature of our worldly experience.
As Thusness said before, you have to reach deep stages of insight and experience the 2nd door of impermanence to a deep degree to dissolve sexual desire.
Only when one experiences everything as dissolving on the moment it appears, then desire cannot form. Whatever thoughts, sensations, just liberates as it arises.
When insight is deep, fetters cannot even take hold and have no basis. The deep insight can end the fetters. There is only pure sensations and thoughts, arising and liberating as it arise, it's nature and three characteristics are clearly perceived as it is and there is no delusion.
Therefore there is a summary in Dzogchen:
TS'IG SUM NÄD DEG
THREE WORDS STRIKING THE ESSENCE
BY
RIG'DZIN GA'RAB DORJE
WITH A BRIEF COMMENTARY BY KYABJE DÜD'JOM RINPOCHE, 'JIGDRÄL YESHE DORJE
Directly meeting with one's own nature
This fresh and present awareness beyond all consideration of the three times, is, in itself, the primordial awakenedness that is spontaneously present pure awareness. Such is direct introduction to one's own nature.
Directly make one single decision
Since all phenomenal appearance of both cyclic existence and the state beyond suffering do not go beyond the innate creativity of pure awareness, firmly decide that there is no other thing besides the continuous flow of this pure awareness .
Have confidence in direct liberation–dissolution
Whatever discursive thoughts arise, be they gross or subtle, by recognising them for what they are, they all arise and simultaneously dissolve into the vast expanse of the dimension of pure reality — awareness–voidness inseparable. Remain confident in this liberation.
(m94)
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double post
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Originally posted by Rooney9:
so is this the path of arhats?
I suggest you read the book Arahattamagga.
It is written by a monk Ajahn Maha Boowa who used the body contemplation, successfuly overcame sexual lust and eventually reached non dual realisation.
http://www.forestdhammabooks.com/
Arahattamagga - Arahattaphala: The Path to Arahantship 
Author : Acariya Maha Boowa Translator : Bhikkhu Silaratano Pages : 116 1st Edition : May 2005 ISBN : 974-93100-1-2 File Format : PDF File Size : 2.22 MB Download Book Read Online "At present, all that is left of Buddhism are the words of the Buddha. Only his teachings – the scriptures – remain. Please be aware of this. Due to the corruption caused by the defiling nature of the kilesas, true spiritual principles are no longer practiced in present-day Buddhism. As Buddhists, we constantly allow our minds to be agi- tated and confused, engulfed in mental defilements that assail us from every direction. They so overpower our minds that we never rise above these contaminating influences, no matter how hard we try. The vast majority of people are not even interested enough to try: They simply close their eyes and allow the onslaught to overwhelm them. They don’t even attempt to put up the least amount of resistance. Since they lack the mindfulness needed to pay attention to the consequences of their thoughts, all their thinking and all they do and say are instances of the kilesas giving them a beating. They surrendered to the power of these ruinous forces such a long time ago that they now lack any motivation to restrain their wayward thoughts..." -
I think the major problem is we have been influenced ,
My advise ,
Body is just a shell , feeling is just a moment . If you are determined to overcome this thought , no matter what religion you are , we have have to starts with our mind to be "Determine" ,
Think of one simple examples , have you ever think that 3 days i am not going to eat and you can do that , where u see everybody is enjoying the food?? It is always possible if you are determine.
Mankind is being influence the moment we are born , we start to choose when we are baby , this is influence. So we have to find a way to be determined ourself first.
Whatever your religion is , there is always an answer , do some read up and abide to it.
Well, Tiger Wood , is just too rich to spent to get whatever he want , he lost his determination thats why he start to fail in his golf before everybody know he is addicted. So he has an influence to cause him to be in this way. By right , he has a very calm personality , thats why he plays his golf well , now he cant anymore , his error has cause him and media has influenced him even deeper , his time is up. He has a Thai mother , he should go back to his beginning to get back. This Karma. He should get back to his family for his karma.
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Nay, can't be bother to think.
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Originally posted by Min00:
Nay, can't be bother to think.
It's okay, but when you want or need to find out and think about it ,
a least you'll will know where to start!
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Originally posted by Weychin:
It's okay, but when you want or need to find out and think about it ,
a least you'll will know where to start!
eh, u mean u don't know where to start?
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Originally posted by Min00:
eh, u mean u don't know where to start?
I have already started, to investigate. I am just responding to you saying not bothering to think! Possible that i read it out of context, but,with all things interconnected, we will probably ultimately come to the same conclusion.
The only difference is time !