Icemoon, i will, like what ventin said, definitely marry someone who is a christian to avoid all these pains.
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I am not too sure about the meaning Catholic Conversion Rule. If it means that the non-beliveing spouse MUST be converted (akin the Muslim conversion), it does not apply to Protestant.
Firstly say a guy is a Christian, he should be aware of not having a non Christian girlfriend or spouse.
Let say under some circumstances, this same man married this non Christian girlfriend, there is no rule in the Bible sayin that she MUST convert. What he can do is to pray to God to soften her heart and that she may be called upon salvation. This again doesn't mean that it opens a flood gate for Christian to marry non-believer. The previous paragraph is still the criteria.
About going to the same church, the husband and wife must layout their conviction and pray about it. The rule of thumb is that the wife must submit to her husband decision. This means that the husband plays a huge huge huge role and will be answerable to God for whatever decision he makes for him and his wife, and eventually their children.