i have been dumped!! ARGggggg.......
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i have know this girl through working place as we hit it out as a fren first... after a short period, i keep asking her out for date... all she agreed to it.. as we both hit it so prefectly just like couple as we had quite a few things are in common. so.............. after which... during one of the date after senting her home... reached home, i msg her to be my gf as i hinted her .... as she agreed but not nuch condfience in it as she has been dumped before...by her ex.. so as i also found out from her that she has a crush on me just as i do!!hai... so........prefect.but... after 11 days of been together,i have just love her as much as i love myself... but one day she told me that why am i treating her so nicely as she is not giving as much as i do...further den she feeling so..pressurized and seem that she could not get close to anyone at this moment... hai...after a few converstion we had den she say she prefer me to be his fren rather than bf as she feel much... better!so what should i do?feeling superb hurt..... as i like her alots... how do i get back her?please advice...
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no advice at all... please help me... to go ..through..this pain.
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Well brudder.
Same over here.
Strange, do we have e same person as our ex-gf..???
She said exacatly e same time as u mentioned earlier on..
Damn sad... Input so much, but makes things worse.... -
hmm... sori to hear.... well its not the end pal.... so continue be by her side.... let her hv confidence wif u then when time rite ask her again.... gd luck....Originally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:i have know this girl through working place as we hit it out as a fren first... after a short period, i keep asking her out for date... all she agreed to it.. as we both hit it so prefectly just like couple as we had quite a few things are in common. so.............. after which... during one of the date after senting her home... reached home, i msg her to be my gf as i hinted her .... as she agreed but not nuch condfience in it as she has been dumped before...by her ex.. so as i also found out from her that she has a crush on me just as i do!!hai... so........prefect.but... after 11 days of been together,i have just love her as much as i love myself... but one day she told me that why am i treating her so nicely as she is not giving as much as i do...further den she feeling so..pressurized and seem that she could not get close to anyone at this moment... hai...after a few converstion we had den she say she prefer me to be his fren rather than bf as she feel much... better!so what should i do?feeling superb hurt..... as i like her alots... how do i get back her?please advice... -
calling for yunhaier..
lol u shld post in aunt agony mah
hahha ther gt more ppl advise u
actualy i tink hor...love canot b forced...if she happy tis way ..let her b. lor....
anyway u 2 also know each other nt long...mayb b frens longer first... -
The beginning intense chase always seemed to be flowery, however when time is passed and reflection is done - we see through the illusion of romance and all is left is what you really want.Originally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:i have know this girl through working place as we hit it out as a fren first... after a short period, i keep asking her out for date... all she agreed to it.. as we both hit it so prefectly just like couple as we had quite a few things are in common. so.............. after which... during one of the date after senting her home... reached home, i msg her to be my gf as i hinted her .... as she agreed but not nuch condfience in it as she has been dumped before...by her ex.. so as i also found out from her that she has a crush on me just as i do!!hai... so........prefect.but... after 11 days of been together,i have just love her as much as i love myself... but one day she told me that why am i treating her so nicely as she is not giving as much as i do...further den she feeling so..pressurized and seem that she could not get close to anyone at this moment... hai...after a few converstion we had den she say she prefer me to be his fren rather than bf as she feel much... better!so what should i do?feeling superb hurt..... as i like her alots... how do i get back her?please advice... 
There is two point I would like to comment that contributes to her behavior.
I) She mentioned she was hurt by her ex and probably never fully recovered yet - this is one point that holds her back from entering into a relationship.
II) Everything happens too fast - let me guess, you knew her less than 3 months. Chase, expression of feelings, etc - probably when she is left alone and think back, she herself will feel that things are going too fast - danger of slipping into a relationship that may cause her hurt again, indirectly triggering her fear in (I). Conclusion: She definitely had thought things through her mind and decide that you were a better friendship material than a partner.
Advice?
If you force any further action upon her as it will only create negative image about yourself. Ok, seriously speaking, how well do you think you do her? Probably not much - your immerse crush on her is due to the great attraction - likely to be karmic in nature. Physical outlook and exterior character draws you - but if I were to put you in an examination as her being the subject - probably you would score only 40 - 50 points.
She has a decision and hoped that you could share the same thoughts as well. Chances are, you can't see the same way as she is - however, let me ask you 'Do you respect her decision?' Basically you got no choice; love is a mutual decision, not one. Even if you don't respect that decision, you had to live by the result. 
Before I end this post, here is something to ponder: Is it a must for two hearts, being attracted to one another, to be together as a couple?
Cheers -
Tank you Ah ma for promoting AA.Originally posted by Xiao Long Nu:calling for yunhaier..
lol u shld post in aunt agony mah
hahha ther gt more ppl advise u
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Cool... explain.. very detail... although i am a freelance wedding planner but my love life is such a failure... hai... but after hearing yr advice makes me feelihng much better... but there is a pin still poking in me... its just has to wait for somrone to remove it out for me...hai...
The beginning intense chase always seemed to be flowery, however when time is passed and reflection is done - we see through the illusion of romance and all is left is what you really want. There is two point I would like to comment that contributes to her behavior.
I) She mentioned she was hurt by her ex and probably never fully recovered yet - this is one point that holds her back from entering into a relationship.
II) Everything happens too fast - let me guess, you knew her less than 3 months. Chase, expression of feelings, etc - probably when she is left alone and think back, she herself will feel that things are going too fast - danger of slipping into a relationship that may cause her hurt again, indirectly triggering her fear in (I). Conclusion: She definitely had thought things through her mind and decide that you were a better friendship material than a partner.
Advice?
If you force any further action upon her as it will only create negative image about yourself. Ok, seriously speaking, how well do you think you do her? Probably not much - your immerse crush on her is due to the great attraction - likely to be karmic in nature. Physical outlook and exterior character draws you - but if I were to put you in an examination as her being the subject - probably you would score only 40 - 50 points.
She has a decision and hoped that you could share the same thoughts as well. Chances are, you can't see the same way as she is - however, let me ask you 'Do you respect her decision?' Basically you got no choice; love is a mutual decision, not one. Even if you don't respect that decision, you had to live by the result.
Before I end this post, here is something to ponder: Is it a [b]must for two hearts, being attracted to one another, to be together as a couple?
Cheers[/b] -
Pin poking in you?Originally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:Cool... explain.. very detail... although i am a freelance wedding planner but my love life is such a failure... hai... but after hearing yr advice makes me feelihng much better... but there is a pin still poking in me... its just has to wait for somrone to remove it out for me...hai... Only you have the power to remove and you could do it - just that you chose to leave it there. -
sori to hear about yr predicament dude.... life is nvr a bed of roses... jus gotta learn to roll with the punches....Originally posted by hONdA_rIDeR: -
but i have never had this hurt before... even... i had an accident it wasnt that pain than this....feeell very hurt.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Pin poking in you? Only you have the power to remove and you could do it - just that you chose to leave it there. -
thanks sis!Originally posted by Xiao Long Nu:calling for yunhaier..
lol u shld post in aunt agony mah
hahha ther gt more ppl advise u
actualy i tink hor...love canot b forced...if she happy tis way ..let her b. lor....
anyway u 2 also know each other nt long...mayb b frens longer first... -
sometimes... i felt very hard to let go as the feeling has been around inside my feeling for days..further more she is working in the same place as i am... only is that different department... luckily, i am on course will have less chances of meeting her..as sometime i feel that can i still sms her... will i control myself from caring her her... but... sometime... try to control myself not to scare her off..hai...
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physical pain is nothing compared to things emotional...
be strong... you'll be all right
Originally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:but i have never had this hurt before... even... i had an accident it wasnt that pain than this....feeell very hurt. -
i am the type that i could not... take the fact.. as before we be together... i even inform her i will not be able to take it if she dumped... me... what can she say ... is keep saying 'sorry''Originally posted by the Bear:physical pain is nothing compared to things emotional...
be strong... you'll be all right -
this piece of advice is going to be brutal:
Learn
you cannot force her.. you cannot take someone's heart and love by force.. therefore you will have to learn to endure the heartbreak...
that, is what the consequences of lost love is.... unfortunately...Originally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:i am the type that i could not... take the fact.. as before we be together... i even inform her i will not be able to take it if she dumped... me... what can she say ... is keep saying 'sorry'' -
i asked her if she still like me... she replies that she still like me... but at the moment she is lost...how man........ its just a spilt sec...only..
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she's not ready for anything and is trying to pick up the pieces... give her time.
she likes you, but not ready for another relationship yet...
give her credit.. it's better than staring another when her mind is still in pieces.. give her time to figure things out..
which is why i say you gotta suck it up, and endure it...Originally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:i asked her if she still like me... she replies that she still like me... but at the moment she is lost...how man........ its just a spilt sec...only.. -
hmmm... its mean that must i wait for her and did those things that we used to do .. when we are fren?issit?Originally posted by the Bear:she's not ready for anything and is trying to pick up the pieces... give her time.
she likes you, but not ready for another relationship yet...
give her credit.. it's better than staring another when her mind is still in pieces.. give her time to figure things out..
which is why i say you gotta suck it up, and endure it... -
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it's going to be weird... but be her friend... that's all
i wish you joy, love and peaceOriginally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:hmmm... its mean that must i wait for her and did those things that we used to do .. when we are fren?issit? -
I guess apart from taking things slowly, there's nothing you can do?
She's not sure of what lies ahead, probably due to the fact that this was afterall a rebound r/s...
I don't think she wants you to think you're a loser, like what I mentioned in my earlier post, she's being frank. I think you should appreciate her for it. Think abt it, will you want a gf who's with you, hide the fact that she wasn't sure abt the r/s and then perhaps maybe months or years later, runs along and tell you 'I think I never plan tht far with you, and now time has come for us to be separated.'
Like what bear mentioned, I do agree with him that you should wait. Not saying that you have to wait infinitely for her and forego your chances should any comes by, but then bid your time in trying to touch her as a friend.
Widen your social circle, get to know more people... look for greener pasture. She's not the only one out there.... you cannot hang on forever to this r/s if it's not meant to be, can you?
All the bestOriginally posted by hONdA_rIDeR:does that mean that i have to take thing slowly? as she did mention that we are going on too faST as lasty she did mention that ýou might not know after year we will be together'' what does that mean ? wait for her for few year?hai! as i felt pain inside my heart cos she is the one that i going to spend my life with.... but she told me that she had never think that further... feeling that i am asuch a loser! hai! -
i guess this is the only things in i can do!i will wait.. for her.. as maybe i am feeling very uneasy for this few days becos its just too suddenly...i have been dumped before her too... my ex... flew for further studies without informing me...den what can i say... i have treating them out the best of me... and this is what a god provide back to me...Originally posted by ^cereal^:I guess apart from taking things slowly, there's nothing you can do?
She's not sure of what lies ahead, probably due to the fact that this was afterall a rebound r/s...
I don't think she wants you to think you're a loser, like what I mentioned in my earlier post, she's being frank. I think you should appreciate her for it. Think abt it, will you want a gf who's with you, hide the fact that she wasn't sure abt the r/s and then perhaps maybe months or years later, runs along and tell you 'I think I never plan tht far with you, and now time has come for us to be separated.'
Like what bear mentioned, I do agree with him that you should wait. Not saying that you have to wait infinitely for her and forego your chances should any comes by, but then bid your time in trying to touch her as a friend.
Widen your social circle, get to know more people... look for greener pasture. She's not the only one out there.... you cannot hang on forever to this r/s if it's not meant to be, can you?
All the best
this flash... sound a bit like my story
heartbroken me -
take it in your stride. life's ordeals are meant to make one stronger and better. i sincerely wish you best. your right one will appear, just a matter of time. keep your options open... no one is in a hurry, you are no exception.
all the best... -
thanks..hope so... i am the kind of prefection in everything... that why sometimes i hate myself....thanks for giving me alot of advice... just pray that i could overcome it.thank cerealOriginally posted by ^cereal^:take it in your stride. life's ordeals are meant to make one stronger and better. i sincerely wish you best. your right one will appear, just a matter of time. keep your options open... no one is in a hurry, you are no exception.
all the best...