Jokes frm my email...
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(1)
4 miracles of a woman:
-getting wet without taking a shower
-bleeding without getting hurt
-giving milk without eating grass
-and making boneless flesh hard.
(2)
A man bumps into a woman and says "So sorry ma'am. If your heart is as soft as your breasts, you will forgive me"
The lady replies: "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I am in room
603"
(3)
Q: How do the Talibans seduce their women?
A : First they attack their twin towers, then they crash into their
pentagon.
(4)
Girls reaction to penis sizes:
# 9'' - oh shit pain!
# 7'' - oh yes, yum!
# 6'' - oh perfect!
# 5'' - mmm ok!
# 4'' - push more
# 3'' - is it in?
# 2'' - idiot! Just use your tongue.
(5)
Ever wondered why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
A - Airport (flat)
B - Barely there
C - Can do
D - Damn good
E - Enormous
F - Fake
(6)
During pregnancy:
The 1st three months, do it the normal style
Next three months do it the doggy style
And the last three months do it the wolf style.
sit outside the hole and howl.
(7)
Latest statistics on 'what men do after SEX???
2% eat
3% smoke cigarettes
4% take a shower
5% go to sleep
86% get up and go back home to their wife.
HOW TRUE!!!
(8.)
What did Newton's dick say to him after seeing a nude woman?
"Fark you and your law of gravity, I'm going UP."
(9)
Man was sobbing in a bar. His friend asked 'why?'
He said: "my wife makes me pay $ 100/- for every Fuck!"
Friend said: "you're lucky, she charges others $ 250/-"
(1O)
Lady scolds her maid for inefficiency.
Angry maid says, " at least I am better than you in bed."
Lady (amazed): "Did boss tell you this?"
Maid: "No, the driver did."
(11)
What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
" After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."
(12)
A wife complains to the doctor that her hubby is 300% impotent.
The doc asks "how 300%?"
She says: "you know about the 100%, and now he has broken his finger and burnt his tongue."
(13)
Teacher: "why buffaloes get depressed after milking?
Student: "Ma'am, if your boobs are rubbed for 2 hours & then you are left unfucked , how would you feel?
(14)
Policeman arrested a prostitute.
Prostitute: "I'm not selling sex!
Policeman: "Then what are you doing?"
Prostitute: "I'm selling condoms and offering free demo.
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Didn't know your email can tell you jokes
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-_-"Originally posted by Master -_-:Didn't know your email can tell you jokes -
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this is the kind of thread i will post in the whole sgforums...more jokes pls
haha also don't know why i will click on Venus Forum -
tank-cute!Originally posted by L3nn:this is the kind of thread i will post in the whole sgforums...more jokes pls haha also don't know why i will click on Venus Forum
eh... mi trying to think of more interesting things to post...
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make sure u do!!!Originally posted by Venus:tank-cute!
eh... mi trying to think of more interesting things to post... 
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more pls.. -
("/)
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Molested
A senior citizen's group chartered a bus from Brooklyn to
Atlantic City. As they entered New Jersey, an elderly woman came
up to the driver and said "I've been molested!"
The driver thought she was just being delusional, and told her to
go sit back down.
10 minutes later, another old woman came forward and claimed
SHE'D been molested. The driver thought he had a bus load of
wackos - who'd molest them?
10 minutes later, a third came up and said she'd been molested
too. The driver decided he'd had enough, and pulled into the rest
stop. When he stood up, he saw an old man on his hands and knees
in the aisle.
"Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?"
"I lost my toupee. Three times I thought I found it, but when I
grabbed it, it ran away..." -
Pregnant
A seventeen-year-old girl goes to see her mom and tells her that she
has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy
kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did
this to you? I want to know!!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a
brand new Ferrari stops at their house, a mature and distinguished man,
with grey hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps
out of it and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the
father, the mother and the girl, and tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation,
but I'll take charge. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 3 stores,
2 townhouses, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories,
and a $1,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $500,000
each. However, if there is a miscarriage..."
At this point, the father, who had remained silent all this time,
places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him:
"You'll screw her again!!!"