Am I Suffering From Depression Or Mental Disorder?
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Originally posted by troublemaker2005:
no lahthis world/s carzy enuff and when you have enuff crazy people, others who are not cray like them the minority they will judge and conclude them as having depression or disorders
Yalor, like you lor, tripolar disorder -
what rtipolar, you like threesum issit? i get my other galfriends join in can?
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You go find your PRC lau charbor lah!!
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Originally posted by angel7030:
You go find your PRC lau charbor lah!!
no lah - pls many times i say no prc please. -
Originally posted by fearworries:
Hello i do not know what really happen to me. This started since last year when i am still working in the office last year. Where i started doing weird thing like using a pen to keep scratching on my both hand, unable to sleep well and having suicide thought. Soon i was out of job. After about two months of jobless. It got worst. I started to have suicide thought at certain night when i awoke from sleep after thinking of sad things… I went for some interview but were demoralised after days of waiting.
I started to feel out of breath, agitated such as punching once at my living room wall, throwing sofa.
I also told my dog not to be greedy, walking around as well as attempt to kick, throw sofa or lifting chair but i stop myself in time as I love my dog.
I also get agitated when my dad call home to inform me of job opening. Which i told him i find a job myself and hang up without letting my dad finish speaking.
I hide in my room and fear other knowing im at home on a weekdays. When my mom call out my name to talk or ask me a question. I get agitated sometime to the extent to make my mom sad and commented im unfillial… My mom is a sensitive person.
I do not like to open my mouth on weekday when everyone is working.
I am back to normal on weekend. But will still felt agitated when my family bring up issues to me being jobless. Or matter that deem me stupid. Such as when my brother reprimand me on placing slice of bread on top of small dining plate into the oven, and i would argue back and lead to quarrel over such small issues.
Whenever i felt agitated, i felt the heat and shortness of breath.
I do not know why i behave like this, it just happen.
Im planning to get a referral letter to govt hospital specialist. But once i start seeing and diagnose with this, i will have to declare on jobs hunting and also to my nsmen until medical officer.
Another worry about visiting specialist is financial problems. I know that each visits will cost over $100. And the medicines arent cheap too.
And my family would be heartbroken if i am really suffering from this.
I happened to chance into this forum and not working today and would like to share with u my own experince and try to keep it short which I doubt I can.
anyway...
It all started out with stress and without you even knowing it.
Stress accumulate over times and they do not just disappear without you doing anything.
you need to de-stress yourself else if accumulated to a point and it will exploded.
My stress already started to accumulate when i was in primary school, hard to believe but its true as you will knw why later.
Life get by day by day and without even knwing the silent killer(stress) also accumulate day by day all the way and worsen after my poly and NS and started working.
Totaly disappoint with the work/company due to an issue which I do not wish to elaborate.
After 6 years working in the company, soon I wasnt able to wake up for work and hardly can sleep at night. I either slept 1 day and the next day without any sleep or I will totaly not able to sleep for the whole week and slept 48hrs non-stop during saturday and sunday and this lasted for months.
I started to have quicken heart beat and breathless, ECG on me measured out of the scale and doctors thought I had heart problem and sent me to specialist.
I had also went for sleep clinic where wires all over my head and body.
I became prone to sound/noise(zero tolerance) and always felt the heat in my chest.
I will get aniexty or panic attack when they are noise or ppl talking near me. (abt 2-3 time per wk for minor to medium case)
When this happens at work, I will need keep doing deep breathing or breath throught a bag or go for chain-smoking non-stop until i calm down else i dont knw what will happened.
For serious cases which ionically only happen when I'm resting or not at work its both scarely and
thrilling.
The moment I felt the heat in the chest, its like a huge tons of energy trying to get release and I can neither sit nor stand or even lay down.
All my senses and brain only tell me one thingand that is I need to get this energy out of me as its too unbearable.
Soon my heart beat get quckier and quicker and my breathing change, started feeling dizzy and numbness throughout my whole body and cold sweating, teeth chattering and cant even speak.
I will either smash up everything in my room to release the energy or i need to run until all the energy is being released out.
I felt no pain during this time, I can burn my figers or smash my fist on the wall or cut my hand, blood dripping everywhere but there is no pain.
This is the feeling of being not in control and its very thrilling as I felt free but on the other hand there is also a mix feeling of scariness. Well, it felt like theres 2 persons inside me one seeked to be free and the others trying to counter in for control.
The one not being in control felt like drug and its a very tempting force and i knw my face was smiling evily during those times.
So there are thoughts inside me battling each others. Both good and bad thoughts talking to myself. Its very scary as all those bad thought are to punish and kill those bastard people.
Apart from that there are also suicidal thoughts.
The only thing I knw at this point is I need Pain to knw that I'm in control of myself and I had to gain back control.
One day on the 7th years of working, I suddenly felt an enduring pain in my stomach, I thought as usual, gastric pain, just take some antacid and will be fine the next day.
But this time its dfferent, I A&E a few times and the hospitals do not even knw the cause so they just kept forcing antacid on me and discharged me and scope me few day later. (feces turn white, so u roughly knw how much i drank)
I started to vomit and salivating all day long.
I had a hard time eating, I will choke and vomit, drinking water I will also choke as the water will stop half way going down the esophagus and make u choke and vomit.
At night I need to hav a bucket beside me cause I will choke on my saliva and from the pain in the stomach.
Next morning the bucket will be 1/3 full with my saliva.
I seek many medical treatment all cant give me the cause and cure, theres a time I went for accupunture and half way into it i shouted cause my attack kicks in.
One day a doctor(too many hospital visited, I think its from alexandra hospital) told me the cause to my stomach pain, salivating non-stop and not able to eat/drink and its stress related.
She said that my stomach had already shut down and slowly other organs 1 by 1 in my body will also and eventually be dead if the situation continue.
She said that its my body way of telling me that the body already cannot handle any more and need to rest so it had to shut down.
You are focing the water down the stomach which already refuse to work so it make u choke and vomit all out.
Basically i need to rest so she gave me abt a month+ of MC from that day.
I was also refered to Psychiatrists who make me into like a lab rat to find the correct medicine suitable to take.(reasons: each person have different effects on Psychiatrists medicines so not all are suitable)
Also all Psychiatrists medicine have side effects, cannot be taken on a long term and the dosage will adjust as time goes by.
Even after treatment, my stomach cramp pain did not go away its just get slightly better,
I did not quit the job immediately, cause i cant and reason I do not wish to elaborate again.
I endured working for another 1 year+ and finally left the company. (Total 9 years)
I was still under treatment, my stomach cramp pain did not go away it was always there just not so bad that i need go hospital anymore.
I rested for 2 years and it took me abt one and a half year to completely cure my stomach pain
During these period, I had lots of nightmares and all shock me out of bed hyper-ventilating with sweat at night.
The very 1st nightmare I had was from schooling test/exam and many many more to come and soon nightmares on all the past which i had long forgotten all present 1 by 1 itself to me again and I had to relive all those past once more.
That is why I am saying Stress do not just go away, it accumulate over time with us.
It is important to de-stress any tiny little things that can help to de-stress helps may it be jogging, taking a walk, talking/being with friends, just do those that can make u relax and feel clam better still if can make you happy.
Reason I not able to cure myself and make it worst for myself cause I was in a situation whereby I cannot quit the job right at that time.
I dont talk to my family or friends cause my surrounding friends dont even talk abt such stuffs also partly cause of personality.
Ya mostly probably is my personality, everything I do I must do 100% always goes the extra miles, things that I done not to my perfection will always bother me for at least a wk.
I had to withdraw from everything and everyone like into a cave and be with myself only. All those time i never with my family cause i knw nothing gd will come out from my mouth and will make my family sad and so as not to make my situation even worst thus i moved out as i needed peace and quiet.
Since then, I stopped looking for pay wise job, I only do job that i will be ok with and never get into a situation whereby i cannot quit. When travelling i always put my ear piece on and listen to my mp3 and now its become a habit.
From your post it seem to me that u are basically stressed out which may be accumlated over the years and definitely not mental issue.
It may be due to some tiny things in our daily life that does not goes our way or some past worries/upset that u may have already forgotten or anything that is not pleasant.
For me now,
so long there an issue/situation/problems now, dont avoid it, face it and get it settled once and for all and get it over with.
Running away as thou time may seem to make it goes away but I dont think it will, our mind just chuck it aside in some corner in our brain waiting for it to be reopen one day and this is where stress start to conceive.
I knw its eaiser said than done and everyone situation are different
so make ur life a bit easy and be more happier if possible, life already hard whats the point on making ourselves even harder.
In the end what do we get?
My main cure was music, my beloved cat and long term rest with peace and quiet.
Medicine also helps as it forces us to sleep and rest and change our moods but if u check online all those medicne have really bad side effects and must not be taken on long term.
I estimated I had spent about 5k on Psychiatrists visit throughout those years.
I stopped my Psychiatrists medicine after the 1st year+ resting and never visited any till date.
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oh ya forgot to mention.
Go laugh yourself out and de-stress when u free on Youtube, search for "Just for laugh Gags"
tons of episode for u to watch and laugh
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I believe you have a lot of karmic debt æ¥å‚µ. It can be eliminated gradually with the right effort.
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what about cosmic debt?
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Get exercise, eat well, find a job, go out with friends. Avoid cowering behind the label of a mental disorder and using it to rationalize inaction.
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but sometimes also cannot leh - you can stop growing old, and when left on the ahelf too long becum cheeko uncle 50 yo. cannot avoid 1 sure have disorder cheeko syndrome
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'My heart aches to see her SUFFER'
Dad whose daughter attempted suicide 10 times in a year pleads with judge for solution
LEAVING COURT: James and daughter Mandy
TNP PICTURE: GAVIN FOO
REPORT: JOYCE LIM
LIKE all fathers, the last thing he wants is for something bad to happen to his daughter. But this 58-year-old dad is caught in an unusual and terrible dilemma.
In the past year, his teen daughter had tried to kill herself 10 times.
Fortunately, she never succeeded.
But now the law has caught up with her, and she is facing a possible jail sentence of up to a year, a fine or both.
The father, James, doesn't want her to go to jail, even though he's completely stressed out from having to keep his eyes on her all the time.
But keeping her in jail may, ironically, take that burden off him and save her from herself.
"What can the judge do to protect my precious girl?" a worried-looking James asked this reporter, as he sat and waited anxiously for the verdict in court yesterday.
James' daughter, Mandy, 18, faced 10 charges of attempted suicide between last August and May this year.
We are not giving Mandy's or her father's real names to protect her identity.
The District Court heard that she suffers from mental retardation and personality disorder.
On Aug 31 last year, Mandy had asked her father to take her to Bishan library to meet her friend. When she arrived, she went to a supermarket and bought a box of paracetamol, an over-the-counter pain reliever to meet her friend at the library.
When Mandy met her friend, she told her that she was not feeling well and asked her to take her to a hospital. She ended up in Tan Tock Seng Hospital.
A week later, Mandy attempted to kill herself again when she sat with one of her legs dangling over the ledge on the third storey of a multi-storey carpark at Kim Keat Avenue.
Fortunately, police and Singapore Civil Defence Force officers arrived in time to presuade her to move away from the ledge.
When Mandy was younger, she had slit her wrist in front of her Institute of Technical Education (ITE) classmates, James told The New Paper.
Because of the incident, he took her out of school.
Why did she do it?
Till today, James still does not know the answer, even though he is closest to her in the family, which includes his undergraduate son and wife.
Each time after she tries to take her life, she would feel so depressed that she'll break down and cry loudly, James told TNP in Mandarin.
"My heart aches every times I see her suffer," he added, burying his head in his hands.
James said that his relationship with his daughter has always been good. He recalled his daughter's first suicide attempt when she was in Secondary 1.
That happened in hospital. James had taken her there after she had fits and was shocked when he was told that his daughter had taken an overdose of her medication.
James said Mandy's subsequent suicidal attempts resulted in her dropping out of secondary school. Mandy went on to pursue an education at the ITE.
But when she again attempted suicide by slitting her wrist in front of her classmates in school, James had to take her out again.
Mentally sound
He said: "Over the years, I have taken her to seek treatment at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH), but I was told that she is mentally sound."
"She can't stay in IMH and I am unable to watch her 24/7 at home. I don't know what is a safe place for her to be in. I need to work as my family depends on me. There is no one to take care of her and I worry about her every time I leave the house for work.
"What can I do? I can only leave it to the judge to decide for me. It's her fate."
Mandy's case was one of the most unusual ones that the District Court heard yesterday.
District Judge Shaifuddin Saruwan said he "thought long and hard about it".
Before that, Assistant Public Prosecutor Dillon Kok, James and his daughter, were seen going in and out of chambers several times.
After about 90 minutes of waiting, Judge Shaifuddin sentenced Mandy to one year of probation on the condition that she continues to seek treatment at IMH and comply with all directions given by the psychiatrist.
He noted that Mandy was neither suitable for mandatory treatment order, nor was she recommended for probation.
Mr Kok had earlier suggested a short custodial sentence for Mandy, who had been in remand for the past 31/2 months.
After much deliberation, Judge Shaifuddin said: "I thought long and hard about it. I am convinced that what you require is truly treatment so that you will not reoffend by attempting suicide again.
"Notwithstanding the probation report, I will place you on probation and I will monitor your case personally."
Judge Shaifuddin added that Mandy's behaviour cannot be tolerated and she should refrain from such behaviour.
"If you feel stressed or troubled, I want you to call the psychiatrist or the probation officer," Judge Shaifuddin told the teen, who nodded in acknowledgement.
"If you breach the condition, you will back before me and I will have to deal with you. I hope we do not have to come to that. I know you can do it."
Mandy is scheduled for a court review on Nov 29.
Outside the court, James appeared relieved that the judge had decided for him what is best for his daughter, even through he will not be able to stop worrying about her.
He told TNP: "My Wife works long hours as a dish collector at a foodcourt and my son is studying for an engineering degree in a local university. I need to work to support my family. But I will do all I can to protect my little girl."
Last night, a chirpy Mandy told TNP over the phone that she was happy to be able to go home with her father yesterday.
"After I was released, I went home for a hot bath, then my father took me out for a haircut, And I had my favourite steak for dinner." Mandy in Mandarin.
"I am grateful to the judge for the chance to start life afresh."
Don't nag or scold, just listen, say psychologists
REPORT: ESTHER NG
ONE of the best things to do when dealing with a chronically suicidal family member is to listen.Don't nag, advise or scold them.
If family members cannot refrain from nagging or berating him, they should get a neutral third party - a counsellor, a relative or close friend - to communicate with the suicidal family member, counsellors told The New Paper.
Said Singapore Children's Society's youth services director, Dr Carol Balhetcher: "Ask one question and wait for the information to come. It may not come immediately, so be patient.
"Sometimes, parents just want to talk and advise, and when there is no change in the situation, thet say, 'Aiyah, my child is a problem.'"
Agreeing, psychologist Daniel Koh of private practice Insights Mind Centre, said: "A lot of times, the family doesn't undersatnd the person and they put expectations on the victim.
"Let it go. Instead,listen.
"You don't have to talk. Just be there for them."
To do this, you have to create the environment or opportunity, said Dr Balhetchet, a clinical psychologist.
One way would be to start going for walks together and making the walks a "habit".
"Let the person talk. The silence might be awkward, never mind, one day you'll get an answer," she said.
Agreeing, Ms Koh said it was important to give the suicidal family members a "sense of support, so that he or she will feel safe".
Said Mr Koh: "Suicidal people are very sensitive.
"They can tell if you're pretending or genuine, so if you can't stop yourself from scolding them, get a neutral third party who will not judge or label them."
Mr Koh, noted that often, families start out with "a lot of concern", then after multiple suicide attempts, they get "numb".
He said: "They get frustrated and even threaten the person to snap out of it without understanding the cause of the problem.
"This could make the person depressed and the person could revert to taking drastic measures."
On the rise
Suicide attempts are on the rise here, although statistics from the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) indicate that the number of people who succeed in their bids is falling. The Straits Times reported.
In 2010, 966 people were arrested for attempting suicide, up from 842 the year before.
SOS figures calculated the suicide rate to be 7.85 suicides for every 100,000 people in 2010, down from 9.35 in 2009.
Overall, 353 people killed themselves here in 2010 and 401 did so the year before.
Dr Brian Yeo, a consultant psychiatrist at Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre, told The New Paper that families of chronically suicidal family members are often "caught in a bind".
He said: "Do they react every time he or she threatens to commit suicide? Do they keep watch over them or is this just a cry for help?
"But then again, just because he or she didn't commit suicide the first two times, doesn't mean it won't happen on the third."
One way to judge whether the suicide threat is serious is to look at the attempt itself, Dr Yeo said.
For instance, did the person take just a few pills or was it an overdose?
Did the person slit his wrists or try to jump off a building? These are serious indicators, he said.
The other important gauge is whether the suicide attempt was planned.
"Did they buy certain things before the event, like bleach? Did they leave a note? Did they try to avoid the discovery of their intentions?" he said.
But these are just a guide, Dr Yeo stressed.
All three experts advise family members that the safety of the suicidal family member is paramount and to call the authorities for help when dealing with a suicide attempt.
HELPLINES
Samaritans of Singapore: 1800-221-4444
Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
Care Corner Mandarin Counselling Centre: 1800-353-5800
PROSECUTION FOR SUICIDE ATTEMPTS
LAWYERS told The New Paper that while attempting suicide is an offence, it is not common for people who attempt suicide to be prosecuted.
Said criminal lawyer Sashi Nathan: "The decision to prosecute depends on a host of factors such the physiological makeup of the person, the personal background, the family situation, whether there were aggravating or extenuating circumstances that caused him or her to behave that way."
"Jailing the person may not help, but treatment would."
A dozen people were charged in 2010, and nine the year before. The police also helps offenders by referring them for counselling or for treatment at the Institute of Mental Health.
News, The New Paper, Friday, August 31 2012, Pg 2-3