Will you Spare the rod and raise a Brat?
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Ok. So u dislike western teachings, then tell me, where in Eastern/non-western teaching does it says you should beat the crap out of your children ?
U seem to equate hitting a child to disciplining. That's wrong.
If u hit a child when he does wrong, he only learns that it's ok to hit another person if he perceived wrong doing.
If a child thinks u r wrong, he should hit you , right?
Parents claim they beat their children out of love, then if their child love them back, they should also resort to beating their parents ? No?
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And this is an Aunt Agony issue because...???
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Are u trying to justify your acts of violence towards your own children ?
You think u can beat the devil out of your little brats ?
Sorry, to disappoint u. You can't.
Children respond better to encouragements and inspirations -The harder way than beating your defenseless kids.
U may think you are doing them good when you inflict pain and fear.. Maybe.. Just maybe your children will work hard and become successful... But they will not be sharing any of their life with you when they leave the nest.
They wil resent you , the way you Ill treated them until the day you die. Is that what you want ?
Bratty behaviors r emulated from their parents. You are a tyrant, your own child will be no different than you or your wife.
You treat them with disrespect, they will learn this disrespect from you and treat you the same when they grow up.
corporal punishments r no way a means to a sucessful end. It's just a mean to end YOUR personal frustrations.
Instead of demanding your children understand you, why don't u try understanding your children?
a brat's a brat.... usually hopeless by the time they turn into one, no amount of beating will help, I've noticed usually horrible people don't change unless they face a relevation in a personal disaster.
so by all means end your personal fustrations on them, at least that way you'll have a bit of personal sastisfaction.
personally I do not believe in being nice to a kid and teaching them the right stuff( for brats), if the kid's ok with teaching they would have done it in the first place once you speak up, by the second time it happens the kid's usually testing the "system"
they'll behave in front of you if they realise shit's gonna happen. and that's pretty much all you can hope for.
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Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
Affluence, small families ( due to earlier two children is enough policy) , and western influences of “understanding your child ” have all resulted in the increasing number of “brats” we see today. It is not a matter of just using reward and encouragement all the time. Kids must be taught that certain things are wrong and cannot be done e.g being rude to parents spitting and beating up the parent is a definitely NONO! If parents tolerate a young brat hitting them all the time when in tantrums…and yet does not discipline the child, then be prepared to be continuuous beaten even when the child has grown up!
that's just crappy parenting, nothing to do with western thinking of understanding the child, there's no point in understanding what's going on and yet not correcting. I see crappy parents all the time these days. giving me that crap about children "cannot beat one"
fark, I'm not touching you kid out of conquences since it's my workplace, or else I'll wack the parents as well for creating such a brat.
your farking kid stole and you defend the kid saying there's a mistake , she don't know what she's doing. she accidently took her classmate's stuff(HA! yeah right! like the whole bag of stuff was acidently taken and she hid it so her parents won't know.)
where I've work, a brat broke something and I glared, next day the mum came back and demanded I apologise to her kid for scaring the kid..
just yesterday, a kid pick up and threw something at my workplace, then cried her heart out(like she got slapped) when the mum lightly told her "you can't do that"
and it ended with the mother hugging and comforting the kid
fark, what about the stuff in my shop? that one also brat in the making.
the parents are so fark tup already how to teach the kid using love and understanding?
please lah just name your left hand love and right understanding then use those
for god's sake beat your kids if they're crap, don't leave it to the society
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Keep lying to yourself foolish father.
Spare the rod and spoil the child is an old phrase written in ancient texts, but was severely distorted by modern interpretation.
The phrase was written to describe King Solomon's parenting style. But had a negative result...
If u read about Solomon's son Rehoboam, he became vicious and hated by his own people.
1 Kings
12:13-14: "And the king [Rehoboam] answered the people roughly, and
forsook the counsel of the old men which they had given him, and
spake to them after the counsel of the young men, saying, My father
made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke: my father
chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions."
(ASV)http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin8.htm
The rod should be interpret as discipline, guidance, correction and teaching.
"increasing number of brats " ? What made u think there were less brats during your time ? Or the time during our ancestors ? There were plenty , but the earth was less populated back then, we just don't see much around us due to more personal space between families.
In crowded cities, u see more nasty people around relative to a suburban setting. Does it means there's less nasty people on earth before ? No.
Perhaps your child is a brat, because u are a brat yourself. A person cannot teach what he does not know.
Your father probably never impart u good parenting style, that's why u believe beating a child is acceptable and seek justification for your foul thinking.
you keep lying to yourself too, there's a farking shit load a brats because there's a sudden increase of shitty parents who think like you.
back then when kids do wrong, they know they'll get punished, nowadays when kids do wrong the parents shield them and say they'll know when they grow up.
so what do you think crappy kids do when they grow up thinking this way?
at least back then kids know they'll be in for a thrashing , nowadays wrong liao just shout louder then the other side can liao
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Ok. So u dislike western teachings, then tell me, where in Eastern/non-western teaching does it says you should beat the crap out of your children ?
U seem to equate hitting a child to disciplining. That's wrong.
it's not wrong to equate hitting a child to disciplining. displining does not always equate to hitting a child.
Eastern/non-western teaching have always advocated that children must be "taught" and it's the parent's fault if the kid's a brat. And beating is usually what's suggested or what comes to mind.
BUT it was never suggested for parents to beat their kids for no reason. Only when their kid's wrong. And it's not the only method.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
If u hit a child when he does wrong, he only learns that it's ok to hit another person if he perceived wrong doing.
nope, the child learn he'll get hit if he does wrong.
we have a whole generation of parents who grew up and not beat their children despite enduring their parent's "swordplay" so the beatings actually had an opposite effect.
beyond that it's how the parents conduct themselves and the child will follow. so if you're crap and not discpline your kid when he/she's wrong, you'll get the current results.
and coming back drunk then beating your kids in a drunken stupor while holding their hair in your fists is not considered discplining.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
If a child thinks u r wrong, he should hit you , right?
if you're going by eastern teachings, nope, it's ok to beat your kids but taboo for the kids to do otherwise.
neither does westerning teaching.
but if you think your kids should hit you if he thinks you're wrong, that's pretty fark tup parenting.
if my 70 yr old dad were to hit me (30 yr old)now, i doubt i'll even dare to defend myself, and that' after years of beating from him
that's a weird thinking/value you have, should I blame your schools or your parents?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Parents claim they beat their children out of love, then if their child love them back, they should also resort to beating their parents ? No?
ever met anyone who would say yes? that's illogical and stupid.
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brat wants something.. the parent says no.. the brat starts screaming and throwing a tantrum.. a mighty big one..
the parent takes the easy way out and buys the thing for the brat...
if that is not reinforcement of bad behaviour i don't know what the hell is..
the brat learns that by throwing a tantrum, he'll get his way... the parents keep folding and letting the brat get his way...
soon, whatever happens, the brat will throw a screaming fit..
congratulations.. instead of punishing bad behaviour, you just rewarded it.. the brat learns quickly.. soon he will become uncontrollable...
but it's okay.. karma's a bitch..
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Originally posted by the Bear:
brat wants something.. the parent says no.. the brat starts screaming and throwing a tantrum.. a mighty big one..
the parent takes the easy way out and buys the thing for the brat...
if that is not reinforcement of bad behaviour i don't know what the hell is..
the brat learns that by throwing a tantrum, he'll get his way... the parents keep folding and letting the brat get his way...
soon, whatever happens, the brat will throw a screaming fit..
congratulations.. instead of punishing bad behaviour, you just rewarded it.. the brat learns quickly.. soon he will become uncontrollable...
but it's okay.. karma's a bitch..
yeah but karma hits us first then the parents
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Having some form of fear is good so that the child will understand their boundaries and respect elders.
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Originally posted by oldbreadstinks:
yeah but karma hits us first then the parents
us for an occasion...
the parents will have to bear with this until the brat grows up.. and then more, when the brat has to "look after" the parents in their old age (which will probably be a living hell for them)
chances are, the parents will have to look after the brat even after the brat becomes an adult... that is pretty fair punishment for the parents
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Originally posted by the Bear:
brat wants something.. the parent says no.. the brat starts screaming and throwing a tantrum.. a mighty big one..
the parent takes the easy way out and buys the thing for the brat...
if that is not reinforcement of bad behaviour i don't know what the hell is..
the brat learns that by throwing a tantrum, he'll get his way... the parents keep folding and letting the brat get his way...
soon, whatever happens, the brat will throw a screaming fit..
congratulations.. instead of punishing bad behaviour, you just rewarded it.. the brat learns quickly.. soon he will become uncontrollable...
but it's okay.. karma's a bitch..
the parent can just walk away
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okay can TS define a "brat" for me? how has "they" disturb/affect you" ??
even amy chua raised her daughters to be multi-talented and highly-sucessful without any beating.
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
okay can TS define a "brat" for me? how has "they" disturb/affect you" ??
even amy chua raised her daughters to be multi-talented and highly-sucessful without any beating.
have you seen brats screaming their heads off because the parent didn't want to buy a toy they wanted?
or they brat just running around a library like some crazed chihuahua on speed?
or just destroying things at random?
while the parents pretended nothing happened?
or at a restaurant, the child runs berserk playing with things in the salad bar and throwing things around?
and more?
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Originally posted by the Bear:
us for an occasion...
the parents will have to bear with this until the brat grows up.. and then more, when the brat has to "look after" the parents in their old age (which will probably be a living hell for them)
chances are, the parents will have to look after the brat even after the brat becomes an adult... that is pretty fair punishment for the parents
used to think that way.......
then I realised, there's only one of me and so many of them.....(-_-")
so i firmly believe if you can't behave, and your parents aren't doing it, rather then keep quiet.
I'll get you first
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Originally posted by the Bear:
have you seen brats screaming their heads off because the parent didn't want to buy a toy they wanted?
or they brat just running around a library like some crazed chihuahua on speed?
or just destroying things at random?
while the parents pretended nothing happened?
or at a restaurant, the child runs berserk playing with things in the salad bar and throwing things around?
and more?
no, not in my 14 years on earth.
i been to resturants, and all i see is babies.
for kids, well, i only seen them playing in ikea resturant. at tampines,where they have a destinated play area.
really i never seen kids running and screaming around like crazy.
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Originally posted by the Bear:
have you seen brats screaming their heads off because the parent didn't want to buy a toy they wanted?
or they brat just running around a library like some crazed chihuahua on speed?
or just destroying things at random?
while the parents pretended nothing happened?
or at a restaurant, the child runs berserk playing with things in the salad bar and throwing things around?
and more?
and , it's one thing to have a brat tearing around, it's another to have the farking parents/grandparents smile and look on at the kid bumping into people and detroying stuff til someone steps in and then go into full defense strance against anyone who teachs the kid what he should or should not do.
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
no, not in my 14 years on earth.
i been to resturants, and all i see is babies.
for kids, well, i only seen them playing in ikea resturant. at tampines,where they have a destinated play area.
really i never seen kids running and screaming around like crazy.
I have, anyone who works in the service line will and it happens almost every other day, and 99% it's a chinese kid and the parents think they can get away with it because they're paying you.
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Originally posted by oldbreadstinks:
I have, anyone who works in the service line will and it happens almost every other day, and 99% it's a chinese kid and the parents think they can get away with it because they're paying you.
are you....being racist? o.o
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
no, not in my 14 years on earth.
i been to resturants, and all i see is babies.
for kids, well, i only seen them playing in ikea resturant. at tampines,where they have a destinated play area.
really i never seen kids running and screaming around like crazy.
14?
you might be one of them
I can still recall a time when we left a friend at an outdoor table at McDonalds to take care of our stuff.
two 14-15 year olds came and wanted to take our chairs but when told they're occupied decided to kick them away.
when I realised these two kids happened to my friend's wife when we came back, I farking kicked their table back, sit down infront of them and wait for it to start but the little bastards decided to walk off.
dare to start but when people strike back don't dare to end
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
are you....being racist? o.o
you can ask bear, i went for the blood thing with him before
I'm chinese, and I farking hate chinese brats. you don't get the same shit from the malays and indian kids
the damn kids and their parents have rhino skins,
that being said, it's not the majority of the kids who are bad but the farking majority are chinese.
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......... i think I used to love kids till I start to come into contact with them more......
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Originally posted by oldbreadstinks:
you can ask bear, i went for the blood thing with him before
I'm chinese, and I farking hate chinese brats. you don't get the same shit from the malays and indian kids
the damn kids and their parents have rhino skins,
that being said, it's not the majority of the kids who are bad but the farking majority are chinese.
where i work, i usually see indian nationals not caring or even looking at their screaming kids.. who run around destroying everything