Cross border adultery-what should the wife do?
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Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
Hello , Yes my friend has been reading all the responses here. She concurs with your opinion. She definitely is not letting her children deter her from divorcing Samuel. But she also wants total custody of her kids. Scumbag Samuel says no. Her parents suggest buying the custody from him. My only advice to her was :"don't buy, get a good lawyer, to fight all the way for custody, if she wants or give up the kids to him. My rationale to her is - why should she be saddle with the children? Let him be saddle with the responsiblity first. Afterall it is his children too.and since his mother wants to take full responsibility - so be it. When he proves incapable of giving them what they need or if his mother is finally unabl eto take care of them well, then at a later date fight for full custody.the mother is selfish.
She give birth to a child (twin), she is responsible for them.
and also, TS, you must think of the child feelings. bastard, do you know how the child will feel? Going to the darn family court at such a young age??
Don't try to break up the family, TS. my parents are divorced, i know how it feels and maybe you don't know.
Dear TS's friend,
You gave birth to your twins. As a responsibility, you own everything to the child. You need to feed them, protect them, give them a shelter, an education and everything a child should have. and that includes a complete family.
TYVM
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
the mother is selfish.
She give birth to a child (twin), she is responsible for them.
and also, TS, you must think of the child feelings. bastard, do you know how the child will feel? Going to the darn family court at such a young age??
Don't try to break up the family, TS. my parents are divorced, i know how it feels and maybe you don't know.
Dear TS's friend,
You gave birth to your twins. As a responsibility, you own everything to the child. You need to feed them, protect them, give them a shelter, an education and everything a child should have. and that includes a complete family.
TYVM
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa jiani is so rational and maturewomen are evil (not apply to all)
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the husband is selfish.
He wants her for her networks.
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
the mother is selfish.
She give birth to a child (twin), she is responsible for them.
and also, TS, you must think of the child feelings. bastard, do you know how the child will feel? Going to the darn family court at such a young age??
Don't try to break up the family, TS. my parents are divorced, i know how it feels and maybe you don't know.
Dear TS's friend,
You gave birth to your twins. As a responsibility, you own everything to the child. You need to feed them, protect them, give them a shelter, an education and everything a child should have. and that includes a complete family.
TYVM
You can't say that. For obvious reason, if the guy never stray, then all these problems wouldn't have been there in the first place. The family was broken up when the guy CHOSE to have multiple affairs with multiple women. It was not broken up because of the wife, much less from the friend, but it was broken up the moment the guy with intent, chose to have sexual relations with multiple women.My parents never take care of me when I was young, but that didn't stop me from growing up to be a successful person. Let's not push all responsibilities to the parents here. All the problems arose from the straying husband, so let's focus on that root problem and not the symptoms that came out from it.
If you have a certain illness, you want to cure that illness and not the symptoms such as runny nose/headaches/sore throat because if you remove the symptoms alone, they will come back eventually.
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Thanks everyone ! for all your inputs. You all have your points and true it depends on my friend at the end of the day. This morning was a hectic morning as we accompanied her to change her will to make sure than in the event of any accident of any sorts( she flies here and there in her job) scumbag Samuel will not get hold of her assets. She has hired a good lawyer to proceed withthe evidences to sue for a divorce. Lawyer even suggested will to him ten dollars just to show she did think of him and that's all he gets. She divided her assets in trust for her twins as well as a token sum to her parents , with her siblings as her children's trustees. The children are still with her mother-in-law who is almost hysterical, and refuses to let them move to her parents home. So my friend has insisted that the two maids stay on at her mother-in-laws place to keep an eye on the kids and report to her whatever transpires. But her father-in-law is more accomodating and has agreed to let the kids move in a weeks time, when his wife calms down. But that is left to be seen. The lawyer suggested they try to work out custody amicably rather than stress the kids as well. Yes all your points are taken about the children being innocent parties, but that's life when there is a divorce, can't be help. But in all fairness she can't be expected to live with his nonsense, just for the sake of the children- that sort of tolerance happens only in the movies in olden days! As the detective was hired to stop, only when they have enough evidence, it is quite clear that the number of extramarital liasons he had exceeded those on record, whenever he is overseas. So once again thank you for your inputs!
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Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
Thanks everyone ! for all your inputs. You all have your points and true it depends on my friend at the end of the day. This morning was a hectic morning as we accompanied her to change her will to make sure than in the event of any accident of any sorts( she flies here and there in her job) scumbag Samuel will not get hold of her assets. She has hired a good lawyer to proceed withthe evidences to sue for a divorce. Lawyer even suggested will to him ten dollars just to show she did think of him and that’s all he gets. She divided her assets in trust for her twins as well as a token sum to her parents , with her siblings as her children’s trustees. The children are still with her mother-in-law who is almost hysterical, and refuses to let them move to her parents home. So my friend has insisted that the two maids stay on at her mother-in-laws place to keep an eye on the kids and report to her whatever transpires. But her father-in-law is more accomodating and has agreed to let the kids move in a weeks time, when his wife calms down. But that is left to be seen. The lawyer suggested they try to work out custody amicably rather than stress the kids as well. Yes all your points are taken about the children being innocent parties, but that’s life when there is a divorce, can’t be help. But in all fairness she can’t be expected to live with his nonsense, just for the sake of the children- that sort of tolerance happens only in the movies in olden days! As the detective was hired to stop, only when they have enough evidence, it is quite clear that the number of extramarital liasons he had exceeded those on record, whenever he is overseas. So once again thank you for your inputs!
u a guy or gur?
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or gay?
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Originally posted by lce:
u a guy or gur?
I am a man ...what is gur? -
Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
I am a man ...what is gur?if u r a man , from wat u have written. u r happy tat they r seperating n yr intention with the woman is not only friend, perhaps marriage due to her fortune and not wishin to raise thier children
cont. later
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Wtf would u as a man want to get urself involves in woman issue....And u seem delighted that her family is breaking up....just let her decide the best course of action for herself..And seriously it is definitely not easy to remarry again especially when u got 2 kids....Especially to those man out there who have very successful career...last thing they want in the event the marriage dun work out is for them to have the woman charter bearing down on them and having to pay maintenance for the 2 kids that they did not bear in the first place....
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Originally posted by maxsee:
Wtf would u as a man want to get urself involves in woman issue....And u seem delighted that her family is breaking up....just let her decide the best course of action for herself..And seriously it is definitely not easy to remarry again especially when u got 2 kids....Especially to those man out there who have very successful career...last thing they want in the event the marriage dun work out is for them to have the woman charter bearing down on them and having to pay maintenance for the 2 kids that they did not bear in the first place....
Am I involved? How did you come to such a conclusion. As for re-marriage , it is happening quite a lot even with children in tow. I have friends who are divorced, widowed and re-married very happily. So it is occuring more frequently., these days. -
When adults divorce or remarry, childrens suffer, and when they grew up, such trend will become common to them, marry, divorce, marry again, divorce again, these days, because all these nonsensical relationship, love is downgraded
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Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
Thanks everyone ! for all your inputs. You all have your points and true it depends on my friend at the end of the day. This morning was a hectic morning as we accompanied her to change her will to make sure than in the event of any accident of any sorts( she flies here and there in her job) scumbag Samuel will not get hold of her assets. She has hired a good lawyer to proceed withthe evidences to sue for a divorce. Lawyer even suggested will to him ten dollars just to show she did think of him and that’s all he gets. She divided her assets in trust for her twins as well as a token sum to her parents , with her siblings as her children’s trustees. The children are still with her mother-in-law who is almost hysterical, and refuses to let them move to her parents home. So my friend has insisted that the two maids stay on at her mother-in-laws place to keep an eye on the kids and report to her whatever transpires. But her father-in-law is more accomodating and has agreed to let the kids move in a weeks time, when his wife calms down. But that is left to be seen. The lawyer suggested they try to work out custody amicably rather than stress the kids as well. Yes all your points are taken about the children being innocent parties, but that’s life when there is a divorce, can’t be help. But in all fairness she can’t be expected to live with his nonsense, just for the sake of the children- that sort of tolerance happens only in the movies in olden days! As the detective was hired to stop, only when they have enough evidence, it is quite clear that the number of extramarital liasons he had exceeded those on record, whenever he is overseas. So once again thank you for your inputs!
Can't be help??
Pity the children......can't be help??
TS...........
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
Can't be help??
Pity the children......can't be help??
TS...........
It can be even worse for the kids if adults continue in a loveless marriage. Children know if their parents are unhappy and it makes them unhappy too. Some kids even blame themselves whenever the parents have an argument. We are living in modern times one in every two marriages here in Singapore ends up in divorce- like it or not. It's time to teach society how to cope with divorce, re-marriage and doing the best for the kids of such circumstances , rather than being unrealistic and hoping that such situations won't happen. -
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Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
It can be even worse for the kids if adults continue in a loveless marriage. Children know if their parents are unhappy and it makes them unhappy too. Some kids even blame themselves whenever the parents have an argument. We are living in modern times one in every two marriages here in Singapore ends up in divorce- like it or not. It's time to teach society how to cope with divorce, re-marriage and doing the best for the kids of such circumstances , rather than being unrealistic and hoping that such situations won't happen.
seems u r from a broken family n was never been loved by your parents or u have taken it for granteda gud wife will not do spot check on her hushand unless she is suspicious or someone informed her.
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Or that his phone bills had gone up
or that he cannot perform well at nite
or that he likes to make himself younger with male fashion and products
or that he gets lot of meeting nowaday'
or that got lots of oversea assign all of a sudden...
...all these are sign of cheating Wife, call Angel, the PI for you!
Women Charter certified
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Originally posted by lce:
seems u r from a broken family n was never been loved by your parents or u have taken it for granteda gud wife will not do spot check on her hushand unless she is suspicious or someone informed her.
Excuse me but why get so personal? What has mine or your background got to do with it? Facts are statistics show clearly divorces are on the rise. Good wives do not check on their husbands. And I suppose good husbands do not check on their wivies too? Not this day and age. Even if you trust your spouses, it does not mean you can trust those around them 100%. Of course everyone ( or most people) start off their marriage with all the ideals of what a marriage should and could be. But what it is, can be aschewed somewhat in reality. -
Originally posted by angel7030:
Or that his phone bills had gone up
or that he cannot perform well at nite
or that he likes to make himself younger with male fashion and products
or that he gets lot of meeting nowaday'
or that got lots of oversea assign all of a sudden...
...all these are sign of cheating Wife, call Angel, the PI for you!
Women Charter certified
wha Angel , yo uare a good detective! Husbands who cheat often do what you say. what about wivies who cheat? -
Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
Excuse me but why get so personal? What has mine or your background got to do with it? Facts are statistics show clearly divorces are on the rise. Good wives do not check on their husbands. And I suppose good husbands do not check on their wivies too? Not this day and age. Even if you trust your spouses, it does not mean you can trust those around them 100%. Of course everyone ( or most people) start off their marriage with all the ideals of what a marriage should and could be. But what it is, can be aschewed somewhat in reality.
just despise ppl breakin family -
99% of singaporeans I know who work overseas have extra marital affair. Unless they go work in the middle east or malaysia. What do you expect? Particularly the ones who work in China are very succeptible to temptation.
Now my question is - how far the extent of the affair? Did he just go out to bar and drink with girls or bed and have sex with them?
Level 1: Go out to bar and outing to shopping complex with PRC lady. Buy lots of present for them.
Level 2: One night stand sex
Level 3: Conduct long term relationship - buy condo for PRC girl - have sex - sleep constantly together - spend a lot of nights together.
Level 3 is code red - grounds for divorce. But Level 1 and Level 2 - marriage can still be save. Level 2 is a bit dangerous - better test hubby for STD. If he come back with STD - wife is in danger of contracting cervical cancer due to contamination from his penis.
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Originally posted by speakoutfor:
99% of singaporeans I know who work overseas have extra marital affair. Unless they go work in the middle east or malaysia. What do you expect? Particularly the ones who work in China are very succeptible to temptation.
Now my question is - how far the extent of the affair? Did he just go out to bar and drink with girls or bed and have sex with them?
Level 1: Go out to bar and outing to shopping complex with PRC lady. Buy lots of present for them.
Level 2: One night stand sex
Level 3: Conduct long term relationship - buy condo for PRC girl - have sex - sleep constantly together - spend a lot of nights together.
Level 3 is code red - grounds for divorce. But Level 1 and Level 2 - marriage can still be save. Level 2 is a bit dangerous - better test hubby for STD. If he come back with STD - wife is in danger of contracting cervical cancer due to contamination from his penis.
Hello! From the detective report , it is many many many level 2s...so how? and in shanghai 3 regular mei meis too ( probably pao them for a few thousand yuans each time he goes to them) -
Originally posted by lce:
just despise ppl breakin family
Then you despise the adulterous parties? Bt I think better not be too judgemental. these things happen...life is like that. -
Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
Then you despise the adulterous parties? Bt I think better not be too judgemental. these things happen...life is like that.
if u r not the wife stay the FUCK OUT of OTHER PPL FAMILY AFFAIRITS NON OF YOUR BIZ
or r u have some other intentions?
should i suspect tat u n the wife r more than just friend?
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Originally posted by Bikeforceful:
True -lah but hello ..she ask for advice how to say , sorry don't ask me i not your family. She thinks I am objective enough to be fair in my judgement of the situation. Of course any decision is up to herself. Good friends must always support each other ,right!If she ask me for advise, I would suggest,
1. divorce since her husband is a proven cheat.
2. get custody of her children, don't regret that you didn't do so when you have the chance now.
3. stop talking to Bikeforceful, this guy is shady, avoid at all cost, why? he is implying that you should not get custody of your children and I have no idea why any sincere man would suggest that, well unless he is not.