Same old controversial story-When the guy you like is shy...
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I know there are quite a number of similar thread in this forum but now that its getting to my personal story, I'd love to hear from you.
I moved to Singapore 2 years ago and getting on well with everyone around. However, it is needless to reaffirm that Singaporean guys are extremely shy and for that, I really don’t know how to communicate with them properly. I like shy guys but problem is I am shy too, I mean shy towards the one I like. I am sorry I am not meant to show off here but will have to be direct that I got a lot of attention from guys, obviously in my office. But I reckoned they are more likely to admire me from afar than giving it a move. Well, as long as I am not interested, I’m good with that. However, now that I have feelings for this guy but he seems too shy, as it’s said by many, shy + shy = failure, I am kind of stuck! How can a man in his 30s still be shy? Not to mention he is pretty open to everyone else but me, a big NO. He dared to look at me in the eyes, gave me a sea of glance but not at all a smile (well, once as I am aware when we first met). He often looked awkward when I happened to catch his eyes. He can talk restless to anyone but never more than a Hi to me. And you know what, it’s almost a half year we’ve been in this situation. You may encourage me to make the first move, but to be honest, I just can’t. I gave him some hints but not sure if he get the signal. Now it even gets me wondering if he is really shy or he is just not that into me. Any thoughts? What else should I do? Any ideas would be appreciated. Thank you.
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Sorry for the whole coding lot on top. I have no idea why it's happened and how to fix it though...
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write in word and copy and spam every forum u can find on the net?
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I did write in word but as to your later judgement, it's a wrong guess I'm afraid. Does I sound that desperate? NO, I don't think so FireIce : )
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Spend more time with him
Eat with him, watch movie with him, shopping with him (you pay yourself), attend events with him, play with him, do everything with him. One day, he'll make his move once he's out of the comfort zone.If he aren't making any move, maybe....
1) he's gay
2) there's a girl he likes.
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There is two reason for his behaviour:
1) He is not interested. I advice that you should NEVER act like a Despo. Guys hate despos. They are particularly annoying. Try striking some conversation. If further encouragement provides some positive response from him, then do more. Invite him to some event - if he say yes mean you are progressing. But if he say no - means he is not interested. You can try 3 times. After that don't do anymore - guys find it irritating. Guys are opposite of women - just because they don't respond positively doesn't mean they are playing hard to get - may mean they just not interested.
In the words of Harrison Ford - "If the guy is interested - he will be there".
2) Asian guys get flamed a lot. They don't get the appreciation for making first move. When they make approach - suddenly failure - the girl don't know what to do to tell the guy he is rejected because don't want to hurt his feelings - tell everybody but him - the guy get obstrosized. So guys just become shy especially those who experienced failure.
Then after the guy confesses his feelings for the girl - the girl inadvertly rejects him - then desperado girls whom the guy don't like start to disturb and mock him.
Feels annoying when despo girls start disturbing the guy (normally these are the girls he don't like due to their size, physical appearance, age, no chemistry, nothing in common, characteristic traits).
When the guy like Girl A - Girl A reject him. Suddenly Girl B and Girl C whom guy don't like start to harass him and play him like a game.
So what do you think? Of course Asian guys are shy because they get flame a lot.
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Force yourself into a situation where it's only the two of you and someone just have to break the awkward silence.
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although i am FHM model, steady pungpipi, angel always molest me
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Originally posted by troublemaker2005:
although i am FHM model, steady pungpipi, angel always molest me
where got molest only? she rape you so many times. -
it aint worth to care about gals when they only see the superficials...
whats more important is in skin deep....
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Sometimes people are just suay.
They want to be alone, people have eyes for them.
They want a relationship, people siam them.
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Thank you guys.
Shame on me I missed mentioning one thing about our so-called encounter. It's that I had not been aware we are colleagues until one day he suddenly showed up and introduced himself to me when I was checking out my pigeon hole. To be honest, I was stunned (positively though) and too shy to say anything more than my name then pretended to continue playing with my letters. Yes, my bad, there was an awful awkwardness afterwards. I knew it's clumsy me who unintentionally failed his expectation that's why I've been trying to fix the situation yet we hardly have chance to really meet up even though we happen to come across almost every day. Rather than hoping to gain another opportunity with him, I still feel really bad that I might have hurted his pride somehow. From his behavior and communication with others, I am sure he is very gentle and kind...
Abt what speakoutfor said,...I get what you mean. I personally have never ever either flamed anyone for confessing their feelings for me or made fun of such a thing. I also don't second the way a girl may play around with a guy even though she is not interested in him. Always Yes, or No, that's it!
I agree with you guys that I will need to try harder to break the silence but just don't know yet how...I made mistake one and never want to repeat the same thing...
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I meant our first encounter...
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Just book a room, (can book my joo chiat room here), get him in, after few hours of wild bonking, shy will be history for both of you.
Man look shy on the outside only, once inside, they become wolves, werewolves
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Oh I forgot to mention one more thing.
Did you check whether he is married or not?
Or whether he is seeing somebody outside?
Don't make your move on the wrong person. Check him out first.
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Love is Blind
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Originally posted by Fcukpap:
it aint worth to care about gals when they only see the superficials...
whats more important is in skin deep....
you mean - like foreskin? -
Originally posted by angel7030:
Love is Blind
yep, i know you like the blindfold, i like it too -
Originally posted by angel7030:
Just book a room, (can book my joo chiat room here), get him in, after few hours of wild bonking, shy will be history for both of you.
Man look shy on the outside only, once inside, they become wolves, werewolves
who say? i am one man who will only becum wolf when married first nite. youwant a wolf you have to marry me first -
Originally posted by speakoutfor:
Oh I forgot to mention one more thing.
Did you check whether he is married or not?
Or whether he is seeing somebody outside?
Don't make your move on the wrong person. Check him out first.
Uhm...I am 100% sure he's not yet married, but you are right, there's a possibility that he is seeing someone but well how do I know...Looks like I will need some time to sort this out
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Originally posted by the Bear:
After quite a long time having patiently waiting, it gets me to think that sometimes we may have to create the magic ourself and grant it to the one we like.
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One last thing, maybe, now I am getting back to where I used to be, focus on something else rather than analysing this like/love story. I am still living a very good life anyway. Thank you guys : )
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Of course I am not saying that you should not try. Try by all means to reach out to him but as I said after few times if he doesn't give any sign or positive reply - forget about it.
For example, I have this group of friends of which there is this girl - I find her interesting but I am too shy to speak to her. I thought she is the popular girl of our group so only the popular guys can talk to her. One day we all went for an outing and coincidentaly I was near her. All this while I never talk to her before but she spoke to me. I got to talk to her a bit. Even though it was just 20 min - that gave me a good impression of her. I don;'t know her that well and she doesn't know me that well - but from this first impression at least we got off to a good start.
I have no idea what would come after that but all I can do is to be a genuine guy as possible. I try to work hard and be helpful and committed to doing the best things I can do.
So yeah. It does work if you approach the shy guy. Because I am a shy guy too.