so confused by my ex bf...
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We broke up last year before A lvl, he said he doesn't have enough space... so we didn't contact each other for a while. I still love him even though I stayed away because I know I can't force him to be with me.
Before he got enlisted, I got really really sad because I was so afraid that I won't get to see him again. So I bought army necessities (two big bags of them) and left at his door step, he then texted me to thank me and posted a song on my wall.
Afterwards we didnt contact each other for about 3 weeks as I returned to my homeland and he is in camp.
When I returned, he started talking to me again and was very friendly. All the texts are really long which is quite unusual for him as he was quite cold to me after break up and he usually is very dao in sms to his other friends. Afterwards I visited his house one day and we had a really good chat and fun time together, talking about his army life, my life and laughed a lot. We talked for over three hours until I got to go. He sent me to the bus stop and chat with me till the bus comes. We stayed in touch after that night. He will text me during his admin time in army and even calls me sometimes to talk. Sometimes he will say really sweet stuff like my smile is dazzling, guys must be queuing up for me at my workplace, I am sweet and too nice and when I told him about an accident happened in my shop, his first reaction was to ask if i was hurt and said he was scared that i am injured. But he also confuses me at times...as he says he wishes i will find someone I love and not some strange person in the queue or ask me who else is going when I asked him out (he agreed, and when i ask him whether he wants me to ask more people, he said he is fine with anything and that he just thought that i wanted to ask more people). I am also the only one apart from his parents that he contacts in camp (he told his other friends that his army phone too hard to type so dun contact him)
Last week he had SOC and IMT and he didnt contact me throughout his days in camp... only talked to me after he booked out and said he had too little admin time.
Can someone tell me if he still has feelings for me? I really really love this guy...
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He sounds really gay.
If I were him, if I knew there is a girl who likes me. I would go all out even to swim ashore from camp to see her.
Maybe you should try to play some jealousy games. Try to invite him to a party or gathering. Then you get a guy to stick closely to you. Make sure the guy dothings noticeable like escort you and sit next to you. Make the guy do things like tease you and then physically pinch you and then you laugh very excitely and hug him or pat him in the head(In front of your enlisted friend). See whether your enlisted friend is jealous or not. Then you text him in the night and ask him if he is ok or how is he. You send him the hot and cold message to lure him to chase after you.
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somehow i just feel that ur that ex probably just needs someone to give him some emotional support through NS or at least until he gets out of NS. If there is no chance of reconcillation then probably shld look forward :)
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@speakoutfor I know sometimes playing mind games work on guys... but i really love this guy and I dun want to play games with him:( thanks a lot for the suggestion and long reply tho!:)
@[imdestinyz] That is what I am afraid of... I am so scared that he just needs me to be around for now -
simple way of putting..
all army guys (except gays) are lonely, bored and of cuz lack of female companion.
Any female companion outside is definately something to look forward to..
When I was serving, every weekend will difinately find some female companion to talk, hang ard or date them... Does it means I love all of them, NO.
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Originally posted by "newbie":
simple way of putting..
all army guys (except gays) are lonely, bored and of cuz lack of female companion.
Any female companion outside is definately something to look forward to..
When I was serving, every weekend will difinately find some female companion to talk, hang ard or date them... Does it means I love all of them, NO.
Yeah I get what you mean. Maybe he is lonely and he just needs somebody to talk to.
I mean, its like living in prison. You don't get to talk to any females for so long. The only friend he has is his squad and his rifle.
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did you have sex with hiM?
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TS I really really love this guy... then why u here lah, posting and ... sadly, u have confused needs/expectations with love. Love is a luxury, and those who are rich within can afford it, the rest and most, are compromises - i do this for u , u do this for me. However, considering the age n .... the unlearning will happen wheter one likes it or not.
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Originally posted by weiwei09:
We broke up last year before A lvl, he said he doesn't have enough space... so we didn't contact each other for a while. I still love him even though I stayed away because I know I can't force him to be with me.
Before he got enlisted, I got really really sad because I was so afraid that I won't get to see him again. So I bought army necessities (two big bags of them) and left at his door step, he then texted me to thank me and posted a song on my wall.
Afterwards we didnt contact each other for about 3 weeks as I returned to my homeland and he is in camp.
When I returned, he started talking to me again and was very friendly. All the texts are really long which is quite unusual for him as he was quite cold to me after break up and he usually is very dao in sms to his other friends. Afterwards I visited his house one day and we had a really good chat and fun time together, talking about his army life, my life and laughed a lot. We talked for over three hours until I got to go. He sent me to the bus stop and chat with me till the bus comes. We stayed in touch after that night. He will text me during his admin time in army and even calls me sometimes to talk. Sometimes he will say really sweet stuff like my smile is dazzling, guys must be queuing up for me at my workplace, I am sweet and too nice and when I told him about an accident happened in my shop, his first reaction was to ask if i was hurt and said he was scared that i am injured. But he also confuses me at times...as he says he wishes i will find someone I love and not some strange person in the queue or ask me who else is going when I asked him out (he agreed, and when i ask him whether he wants me to ask more people, he said he is fine with anything and that he just thought that i wanted to ask more people). I am also the only one apart from his parents that he contacts in camp (he told his other friends that his army phone too hard to type so dun contact him)
Last week he had SOC and IMT and he didnt contact me throughout his days in camp... only talked to me after he booked out and said he had too little admin time.
Can someone tell me if he still has feelings for me? I really really love this guy...
thats what happens when a male sporean goes to national service or national slavery.all the time belongs to the army now.u were lucky he could even contact u with all the activities thrused upon him by the military.
u can stop replying him really if u cant figure out whats happening.u would be one of those wives who upon any hardship by soldier hubby ,u would keep on asking dumb strange questions.and the more u tried to understand it all,he would go off n get blind drunk and register himself killed in action.
do what is right.if deal is done...MOVE ON!
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MEDICATION TIME!!
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Originally posted by weiwei09:
@speakoutfor I know sometimes playing mind games work on guys... but i really love this guy and I dun want to play games with him:( thanks a lot for the suggestion and long reply tho!:)
@[imdestinyz] That is what I am afraid of... I am so scared that he just needs me to be around for now
Din't play mind games. 10 out of 10 always end up sad story.Even if the relationship is reciprocating both ways, somethimes shit happens and they break off.
If you love him, continue the relationship, just be careful.
This example may not be the best but have some similarities....
If you love the puppy very much, do you expect the puppy to love you just as much? The strange thing is, this kind of unselfish love will result in the puppy loving you just as much.
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Wei wei is still young. If the guy don't want her. There is still a lot more guys queing up for wei wei. Singapore market is a woman's market. Guy is no match for girls. Soon your enlisted boyfriend will regret ever breaking up with you.
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Originally posted by weiwei09:
We broke up last year before A lvl, he said he doesn't have enough space... so we didn't contact each other for a while. I still love him even though I stayed away because I know I can't force him to be with me.
Before he got enlisted, I got really really sad because I was so afraid that I won't get to see him again. So I bought army necessities (two big bags of them) and left at his door step, he then texted me to thank me and posted a song on my wall.
Afterwards we didnt contact each other for about 3 weeks as I returned to my homeland and he is in camp.
When I returned, he started talking to me again and was very friendly. All the texts are really long which is quite unusual for him as he was quite cold to me after break up and he usually is very dao in sms to his other friends. Afterwards I visited his house one day and we had a really good chat and fun time together, talking about his army life, my life and laughed a lot. We talked for over three hours until I got to go. He sent me to the bus stop and chat with me till the bus comes. We stayed in touch after that night. He will text me during his admin time in army and even calls me sometimes to talk. Sometimes he will say really sweet stuff like my smile is dazzling, guys must be queuing up for me at my workplace, I am sweet and too nice and when I told him about an accident happened in my shop, his first reaction was to ask if i was hurt and said he was scared that i am injured. But he also confuses me at times...as he says he wishes i will find someone I love and not some strange person in the queue or ask me who else is going when I asked him out (he agreed, and when i ask him whether he wants me to ask more people, he said he is fine with anything and that he just thought that i wanted to ask more people). I am also the only one apart from his parents that he contacts in camp (he told his other friends that his army phone too hard to type so dun contact him)
Last week he had SOC and IMT and he didnt contact me throughout his days in camp... only talked to me after he booked out and said he had too little admin time.
Can someone tell me if he still has feelings for me? I really really love this guy...
why is he acting like this ? ... simple, because he just got enlisted, suffering from nogirlstitis in camp, and because he's got no other females to talk to, he choses to chat you, his ex, up ....
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Few years ago, I attended a talk by a marriage counsellor.
She say most of the time it's the girl who initiate the DTR (Define The Relationship) talk i.e. asking the guy about the current status.
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Thanks to everyone for the replies! I think some of you are right, it doesnt matter if he loves me back. I should just be happy that I can be there for him:) If an emotional support is what he needs, I will be. When he doesn't need me around anymore, I will leave.
and no, we didn't have sex... in fact he respects me a lot throughout the rs, he has never done anything that will make me uncomfortable. -
Originally posted by weiwei09:
Thanks to everyone for the replies! I think some of you are right, it doesnt matter if he loves me back. I should just be happy that I can be there for him:) If an emotional support is what he needs, I will be. When he doesn't need me around anymore, I will leave.
and no, we didn't have sex... in fact he respects me a lot throughout the rs, he has never done anything that will make me uncomfortable.Step one. Stop lying to yourself.
You can keep giving, the other will keep receiving. Who in the world will deny himself/herself generosities from others?
You say you give without expecting him reciprocating your love. But you know inside, you are "hoping" he will return your love some day as long as you keep trying.
He has already made a decision long ago when he decides to end the relationship with you.
Now, he is kind to you because of GUILT. You are heaping plenty on him with your acts of "kindness".
Guilt does NOT equal love.
Step two. Get a life. Go out there and know more people. Soon you'll realise what a fool you've been clinging on to your past.
Step three, learn from your mistakes, be a better person than before. You have self-esteem problem, that's why you keep thinking you won't find better guy than this ex.
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Yalor, in Love, it is better to make the guys go after you, even if you really love that guy, dun spoil the market of going after a guy, it should be reverse.
Everyyear got nearly 40,000 guys go into army, dun tell me you only get shocked by one, try the rest 39.000 lah. Aiyo, why make yourself so narrow in a wide big world
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Yalor, in Love, it is better to make the guys go after you, even if you really love that guy, dun spoil the market of going after a guy, it should be reverse.
Everyyear got nearly 40,000 guys go into army, dun tell me you only get shocked by one, try the rest 39.000 lah. Aiyo, why make yourself so narrow in a wide big world
Wat happened to the missing 1000-1 = 999 boyz? U eat them up?
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Wei wei - if your ex boyfriend don't want you. I want - because I see the loyalty virtue in you.
Justkidding. I better say so - before Gendanken thinks I am really serious and start flaming me. All I am saying is - there is always somebody who will appreciate you. I.e: Me.
I am only joking. There is more fish in the sea - do not worry - you will forget him - but cherish the experience you had with him. You will move and find somebody. Most likely not me because I don't live in singapore.
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Wei wei, even though I believe in unselfish love, some of the forumers here also got their point.
Only you can see and decide to what level of relationship the both of you can go. If it is a dead end, better go somewhere else now. But... do not play mind games.
Lets say you decided to go soewhere eslse for love, do not look back, because things will happen that makes you feel very touch, and you want to come back. I have also seen that happen before, and the girl gets hurt real bad.
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Love is a luxury, and those who are rich within can afford it, the rest and most, are compromises – i do this for u , u do this for me - find out which is true, be self-honest and there is no confusion, it is unnecessary
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Means he still love you and like you......but maybe the type is a bit different now, he care for you but will be happy if you hookup with another guy and be happy.
But, even though the type and the shape is different, because the basic substance is still there, you still have a chance.
If you still love him romantically, If continue to approach him and show your love and concern, maybe some time in future his mind will change and he will want to re-continue your relationship.
Anyways, that is how some couples have on-off-on-off phase.
So now you are in off phase, but maybe you still have a chance to make in on again.
Good luck my friend,
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Most of the time, when the boys bond together for a period of time in the army, they will start to hang out as boys group which makes them feel more 'man'. Man prefer to order or command not the other way round. So if the boy don't feel like, so be it. For you, better go enjoy your singlehood when you can, cause , when you got hook with a guy, you will probably think back....sigh....i should have remain single longer..lol
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Boys too long together creates gaymenship, so it is better to separate them, notice even in most school, they are trying to mix up with gals, otherwise, more gays will be coming into the society, those in boys school tends to end up as gay, other than their mother and sisters, they might not even go near a gal of their age for years in school.
There are 3 rings that you must know if you really wanted to go thru Love,
1st is the engagement Ring
2nd is the Marriage Ring
and 3rd is the suffeRing
Most people only knew the 1st and 2nd rings, but never realise the third ring. If you can accept 3rd ring, by all means go ahead and fall in Love
Angel
Love Guru
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angel you forget one ring between the 2nd and 3rd 1. during the first nite after marriage you have to put one ring over me there. that ring cannot forget, if not will have premature unwanted pregnancy - this is not dirty things, but to educate people on safe sex and unwanted pregnancy before any more agony