Frustration at finding life partner: thinking of migrating
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I am a guy approaching my 30s. I have been trying to find the right girl for me until now I have yet to find. I am not disclosing my race nor my nationality. All I am saying is that where I am - I am not progressing.
1) I went after this girl at church. We went out for few dates. Then she said to me that she is not interested in me and we should be friends. So I agreed. however after I attended a church meeting. Her brother in law didn't like me - when I went in one of their meetings - he slammed the door to my face. And then the some of the church members became very hostile towards me. This made me discouraged to make my first move for fear of being flamed.
2) I met this girl who work for a bank at a church camp. I got her phone number through the address book. I contacted her in effort to make conversation. Then her text messages became more and more longer to reply: sometime 1 day or 2 day. After 3 or 4 calls - she never pick up. I gave up.
3) I attend another church. Met this 25 year old girl. At first she was very nice to me. We chatted. Then she ask me out a few time but unluckily at the time my boss force me to work long hours. I had to say no. Then this other 25 year old guy at the church went after her. She became very show off to me and told me that she want this guy over me. This lady go and bargain high high price at me.
4) I did work two years serving the church. Suddenly this lady - she is in her 40. She suddenly ask me out many many times. At first she needed my help to shift some furniture and escort her to church. So I gentleman escorted her. Then she became more aggressive started asking me out more often. Then the church people also wanted to match make me with her. The church leader go and make a meeting appointment for all church members but nobody turn up except this lady and me. Then she propose we go out together. I turn her down because it starting to make us look like a couple.
I am not interested in lady in (4) because I am looking for a girl who is in her late 20s or at least early 30s - I want to start a family. I got many friend who marry at 35 or 36 with wife of same age now struggling to have babies because of the age. Anyway, I know this 40 year old lady for 1 year, i know I am not interested in her because she is very different from me. Moreover she is older than me. I don't want to marry somebody older than me
5) I met this girl at the office. About 6 month ago. She broke up with her boyfriend. They had an argument and boyfriend gave her a blackeye. So i was so excited to make my move. I decided to chat more with her. At first ok. Then I decided to ask her out. Suddenly some co worker became very hostile at me. They started to mock me. She also became very unfriendly to me and treated one guy at the office better than me. After valentine day - she accepted that guy as her new boyfriend.
At first I pursue her. But she kept avoiding me. She instead delegate one lady to distract me. This lady keep on asking me out. I am not interested in her. Because the lady she delegate to distract me - like to go night club and get drunk. She is quite a drunkerd.
Conclusion:
I am frustrated. So many years here wasted. Cannot find life partner. So hard to find. I go to gym and diet to make myself look good. I dress well. I even go and study MBA to improve my skills. I go and serve in the church. In the end - what do I have to answer for? A 40 year old spinster lady?
On the other hand. My older 40 year old brother who is so so straight guy. He never had girlfriend before. He is so innocent. Apparently he was still a virgin. Then when he migrated to Australia - he met one ang moh lady. Within two week they became a couple. Within 1 year they got married. The ang moh lady even younger than him.
I have been here for 30 years and cannot even find a girlfriend. This is ridiculous. Mankind have existed for over million year and still able to find life partner to continue the human race. Nowaday, woman is getting more affluent. Make it impossible to find life partner.
I am thinking of going to Australia to find life partner. Over here (may not be singapore) it is getting impossible. I am not getting any younger.
Why is it always like this:
1) Why cannot find boy and girl like each other and then progress from there? Instead have to find girl that bargain high price - chase her then always get rejected.
2) Why always I like the girl but the girl don't like me? Ironically those lady I don't like, they like me? And these lady who like me normally are too old (I want to find a lady who is of child bearing age and very important I must have chemistry).
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you want marry fifi?
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What you need is a job that takes up all your time.
Then you have no time to worry about other things.
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u go church to find woman or to serve god....???
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ai pi ai chi, ai tua liap ni..
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
you want marry fifi?
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Maybe we should listen to the other side of the story on why you are always rejected
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why church now all only look for mate and not God?
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Simple solution... import 1st, love may come later....
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i agree with dcx, "ai pi ai chi, ai tua liap ni"
the way u talk just shows that u are the typical asian male chauvinist pig, with closer reference, a normal singaporean chinese guy on the street.
other than blaming the society and others, which might be the only thing u know, u seem like a complainer who cannot make it in life.
if u got no standards, then it will be people choosing u what.. u should know it right...
just makes me feel so disgusted after reading
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ok bye good luck
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y u so desperate liddat.
wat is ur occupation?
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If one is loving and not chasing there will never be this problem. Also, reconcile to that which is lacking within - i surmise this - love, it is needs/expectations and a confluence of other..... that has coalesced into assuming that it is love. Love is not a business, if it is there is no love and it merely a mutual benefit scheme. In other words, the other is always a means to one''s own ends. It is using each other and exploiting each other for one's own needs. Being self-honest is essential.
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since he so desperate maybe should go marriage agency look through all the photos and find 1 young and pretty 1 that he likes and than marry her?
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Please go, before you become too old for migration.
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YOU are the problem, not the women you met.
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why dun u join SDU or SDS and some dating agency, you need to pay 1-2k for membership though.
otherwise u can pick up thru streets and clubbing.
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u dun have to answer to anyone but yourself....
fate is in your hands...go and change it....
gd luck!
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Every one have his methods of finding his partners.
My advice to him is to go out and know more girls so that he will get some real truths about what a gal wants.
He seems to be a simple person with less experience so he was thinking along the fairy tale line about marriage.
The truth is far from it and marriage requires more effort than chemistry so that you can live happily ever after.
So, stay around and find your gal friends first and then you can consider about marriage.
I know you are certain age and want to complete your marriage asap.
But, no point rush it now and divorce later.
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agree....no rush hour here....and u r not the only singlehood in singapore....
but its good to venture out a while...take it like a break and see how other cultures blend in...
perhaps u may find surprises..
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haha why are some people being so harsh to him? i think he seems like quite a simple guy just looking for a partner.
anyway, if you'd choose to migrate, i hope you'll find your true love there!
good luck :)
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the problem is gals here dun like straight answers from guys...
they prefer well structured and prefabricated honeyed answers...
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me wun like it too if dis guy attends the same church as me.
he is beri disgustin can.
�一个，爱一个。
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Originally posted by Hello Kitty:
me wun like it too if dis guy attends the same church as me.
he is beri disgustin can.
�一个，爱一个。
so are you married now or still swinging
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Originally posted by Gerberad:
i agree with dcx, "ai pi ai chi, ai tua liap ni"
the way u talk just shows that u are the typical asian male chauvinist pig, with closer reference, a normal singaporean chinese guy on the street.
other than blaming the society and others, which might be the only thing u know, u seem like a complainer who cannot make it in life.
if u got no standards, then it will be people choosing u what.. u should know it right...
just makes me feel so disgusted after reading
U comment is not fair. How can u say he is a MCP? U obviously don't know his side of his story. It appear that you just make a quick rash judgment because either u r a female who gets everything she wants in life or u r a guy who is too young/immature to understand the struggle of a singaporean male in a materialistic society.
U dun know the struggles of an average singaporean male and the pressure he face. By 30 a singaporean man has to find a life partner. It is not easy because nowaday woman are more educated and more affluent. So he has to earn more than them and do better than them.
Traditionally it is the guy who has to pursue. The woman just wait for the guy to come. Isn't it a whole lot of pressure of expectation?
The guy must be able to provide financially, emotionally and spiritually. All the woman is evaluating and the competition is hot. You don't tell me he should sit down there innocent innocent don't do anything and expect to find a life partner?
Perhaps his methodology is not right or he is coming on too strong. If that is so - we must advice him to be more gentle and be more good nature person who approaches everybody. I think it is too harsh to say that he is MCP because this is what guys do. To call him MCP for seeking life partner is like calling a girl dirty just because she has bleeds once in a while. It is harsh.