What does she want?
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Hello guys.. First time posting here and I have something to say about this woman I know.
I knew this gal back in 2007, we were both attached with our own bf and gf at that time. However, she and I got together and had a secret relationship for almost 10 months till end of 2007. We ended this secret relationship and didn't contact each other again. Somehow I got to know that she broke up with her bf in early 2008, then she got married to another guy in 2009, and gave birth in 2009 too. I believe it was a shotgun marriage with a guy whom she hung out with a couple of months.
We didn't contact each other since end of 2007. I have deleted her number and couldn't even remember any of her numbers. Then in Sep 2010, I received an unknown sms and asked about me. I replied and asked who this person is. She mentioned her name and I was like WTF?!? What does she want now...
We exchanged a few sms after that and we met up, everything started again. We had sex in the car, after which I made it clear to her that I do not want to have any special relationship with her as she is already married with a child. She was ok... somehow we ended like friends with benefits, we solely meet up for sex. But somehow we still have some feelings involve, we kinda like each other.... This relationship continue from Sep 2010 till now, we continue see each other for meals sometimes but she has rejected me in sex for a couple of months recently. I asked her to have sex with me but she kept rejecting... after which I told her to break up and stop seeing each other... But she insisted that she still want me as her "boyfriend" and want to continue to see me. I was like WTF does she want? I was thinking: "If you wanna have an affair with me and do not wanna have sex with me, why continue on with this relationship??"
I am meeting her to talk again, so as to conclude everything.... Anyway, why does a woman, who is married with a child, still want another man? And why does she still want a "boyfirend" and yet reject him in sex? She gave me all kind of stupid reasons of not having sex with me. What kind of benefits does she have in this kind of relationship? She told me that she love me more than her husband, and even asked me if I will accept her if she divorce him and leave the kid with him.... I was kinda shocked with her comments.
What do you guys think of this woman? Should I avoid her forever? I have feelings for her, but my gut feeling told me that she and I will never be together, and I should stop seeing her... sometimes I will kinda miss her and lost that will to stop myself from seeing her.... I do not want to break up her family... sometimes I only want to have that secret relationship with her still, it could be the sex and excitment that made me clinge onto her, but I know that it is kinda "bastard" doing that and I should stop it....
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You mentioned she gave you all kinds of stupid reasons... maybe you can list some downs so our forumers can tell you which one is real and which one is false.
She go out with you means she see something in you special. When she suddenly doesn't want to have sex with you but still want to be with you, it means her hubby did something wrong to her. It could be that her hubby physically abuse her or is seeing another lady behind her back.
When she say she's willing to divorce him and leave the kids with him, it means that now she sees you as someone who can provide some stability to her. Actually frankly speaking, you're now her.... life boat.
I guess you guys are late 20s early 30s?
Stick the with rules.... F&F..
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Thanks for the reply. Here are some of the reasons she gave me:
1) She plan to have second kid (I find it strange that she said this as she told me that she wanna divorce with her husband if I am able to accept her, yet she plan to have more kids with him)
2) She can't have sex with 2 men (Yet she always told me that she does not have sex with him for a long time)
3) She told me that she has some abnormal cells that could be cervical cancer.
She is in late 20s and I am in mid 30s.
I am also thinking of F&F... no point going into a serious relationship with her. I find that she cannot be trusted much either... I still have some feelings for her, but trying to break this relationship with her.
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There is no such thing as F & F, you will live to regret, somewhere down the road, you will have to pay for it.
The question you are asking should be pointed back at you yourself, why? no more virgin gal like me in their 20s in singapore?? why must go take one that is had been thrown, sliced and opened? You meeting up with her gives us the clue that you still want her, still interested in her body and still want her. If not, you wouldn't had met up with her and hv sex, you go bluff those uncles, but not an Angel ya.
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she wanna discon.
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She wants free food and $$$, he wants sex
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Just move on with ur life....it is clear she is seeking another shelter...if u are already sure u have no future with her...stop making use of her and give her false hopes....there is this thing call KARMA u know..
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Just enjoy the fuck.
When the supply runs out, find new supplier.
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For a start, she is already married with a kid. I am not sure how is her relationship with her hubby but with you around ...it must have grown more complicated.
She may be feeling a kind of void and misses those 'single' , courtship days. Such is marriage life-it can get mundane after a while. With your reappearance, she may have felt that sudden 'uplift' & diversions in life. But not for long as an affair always never ends well.
You need to ask yourself - is she what you want for a future wife? If she can do this to her hubby, don't you think she can do that to you too? The more sexual intimacies you have with her, the more entangled you will be with her- emotionally and physically.
If you love her, let her go for her happiness. For all you know, it is because of your existence that her marriage has become more strained as a woman cannot fully love 2 men equally.
And maybe you can also at least spare a thought for her kid...
Whether she will divorce or not..most importantly, is not divorcing because of you. Am sure you do not want to reap what you sow. You break a family..be sure the same will come back to you.
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Take the advice, opinion or suggestion that u would dish out to another faced with the same predicament. It presupposes being self-honest!
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how old is this woman?
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what do you want to do with your life?
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Am I the only one finding TS not truthful about most of his post.....
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zao while u can.
Just sayying
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Cao? wha, so easy hor, haven't paid your bill leh
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Cervical cancer ? Could be due to STD.
You got wear condom or not ?
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Got lah, but bought those cheap condom, make in Chengdu, China. Brand, Apple
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hi all, no worries, i am FHM moller - got style 1
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ya, pole dancing style...
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Originally posted by _0h_gosh_:
Hello guys.. First time posting here and I have something to say about this woman I know.
I knew this gal back in 2007, we were both attached with our own bf and gf at that time. However, she and I got together and had a secret relationship for almost 10 months till end of 2007. We ended this secret relationship and didn't contact each other again. Somehow I got to know that she broke up with her bf in early 2008, then she got married to another guy in 2009, and gave birth in 2009 too. I believe it was a shotgun marriage with a guy whom she hung out with a couple of months.
We didn't contact each other since end of 2007. I have deleted her number and couldn't even remember any of her numbers. Then in Sep 2010, I received an unknown sms and asked about me. I replied and asked who this person is. She mentioned her name and I was like WTF?!? What does she want now...
We exchanged a few sms after that and we met up, everything started again. We had sex in the car, after which I made it clear to her that I do not want to have any special relationship with her as she is already married with a child. She was ok... somehow we ended like friends with benefits, we solely meet up for sex. But somehow we still have some feelings involve, we kinda like each other.... This relationship continue from Sep 2010 till now, we continue see each other for meals sometimes but she has rejected me in sex for a couple of months recently. I asked her to have sex with me but she kept rejecting... after which I told her to break up and stop seeing each other... But she insisted that she still want me as her "boyfriend" and want to continue to see me. I was like WTF does she want? I was thinking: "If you wanna have an affair with me and do not wanna have sex with me, why continue on with this relationship??"
I am meeting her to talk again, so as to conclude everything.... Anyway, why does a woman, who is married with a child, still want another man? And why does she still want a "boyfirend" and yet reject him in sex? She gave me all kind of stupid reasons of not having sex with me. What kind of benefits does she have in this kind of relationship? She told me that she love me more than her husband, and even asked me if I will accept her if she divorce him and leave the kid with him.... I was kinda shocked with her comments.
What do you guys think of this woman? Should I avoid her forever? I have feelings for her, but my gut feeling told me that she and I will never be together, and I should stop seeing her... sometimes I will kinda miss her and lost that will to stop myself from seeing her.... I do not want to break up her family... sometimes I only want to have that secret relationship with her still, it could be the sex and excitment that made me clinge onto her, but I know that it is kinda "bastard" doing that and I should stop it....
You made the deal and she accepted. After all, friends with benefits have pretty clear T&C; just that in your case, she didn't uphold her side of the bargain, which made things a little more complicated.
How your sub rosa relationship first begin has a significant influence over the development of later episodes. Since the clandestine relationship was a secret back then, your probable position in her heart is likely to be someone she could secretly fall back on whenever she felt dissatisfied with her relationship. After all, sex was probably part of the equation on both separate phase in the relationship, hence that seemingly sinful arrangement is nothing special in particular. But what you might not realize is that she is probably getting some degree of emotional dependence on this poorly structured relationship, regardless of how sparingly you thought you have provided.
She does not technically need the physical sex, rather, she craves for emotional connection. This probably explains why she could withdraw sex from the deal, but still want the relationship because after all, you have always been the secret lifeline that she depends on emotionally (although on your end, you see it purely as a physical exchange).
Allow me to give you an analogy: say if you are a salesman and you sell Cartel watches - To you: you probably feel that you are merely selling a watch because you sell this product to many people. But to the customer, they don't only just buy a watch - they just bought prestige, brand, status and everything else intangible that came with the purchase.
Not technically, but implicitly.
Well, she has abandoned the original deal and submitted another 'proposal'. If you cannot accept the new terms, then it's your decision to decide if you want to call it a day or resubmit another 'proposal'.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier: You made the deal and she accepted. After all, friends with benefits have pretty clear T&C; just that in your case, she didn't uphold her side of the bargain, which made things a little more complicated.
How your sub rosa relationship first begin has a significant influence over the development of later episodes. Since the clandestine relationship was a secret back then, your probable position in her heart is likely to be someone she could secretly fall back on whether she felt dissatisfied with her relationship. After all, sex was probably part of the equation on both separate phase in the relationship, hence that seemingly sinful arrangement is nothing special in particular. But what you might not realize is that she is probably getting some degree of emotional dependence on this poorly structured relationship, regardless of how sparingly you thought you have provided.
She does not technically need the physical sex, rather, she craves for emotional connection. This probably explains why she could withdraw sex from the deal, but still want the relationship because after all, you have always been the secret lifeline that she depends on emotionally (although on your end, you see it purely as a physical exchange).
Allow me to give you an analogy: say if you are a salesman and you sell you Cartel watches - To you: you probably feel that you are merely selling a watch because you sell this product to many people. But to the customer, they don't only just buy a watch - they just bought prestige, brand, status and everything else intangible that came with the purchase.
Not technically, but implicitly.
Well, she has abandoned the original deal and submitted another 'proposal'. If you cannot accept the new terms, then it's your decision to decide if you want to call it a day or resubmit another 'proposal'.
Cheers
as per usual... this mod gives really good advise -
But sadly, these day, no one bother about good advises.
Cannot blame them, after all, the good advises nowaday dun live up to the reality of these world. Our govt also gives good advises..but look at the fools who fall for it.
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Thanks to a few who replied me with good advise. Really appreciate it.
Something bad happened 1 week ago... I sms her a message and her husband saw it. It was a very short message but there were intimacy words in it. I'm not sure what happened to her and her husband now, we spoke on the phone the next day after her husband found out, she did asked me again if I want her, I told her that it is impossible. We stopped contacting each other after that, she does not wanna update me anything either. Her husband did not call me and request to talk to me, but I did received some prank calls recently... Someone who called and remain quiet, then hung up.
Anyway, I think I will just take this incident as a chance for me to stop getting in touch with her again. I sms her that I will end the secret relationship with her as it is not doing her good either, she did not say much... so I guess she is fine with my decision too. I'll see how it goes, as for my side, I will just not contacting her again...
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Originally posted by _0h_gosh_:
Thanks to a few who replied me with good advise. Really appreciate it.
Something bad happened 1 week ago... I sms her a message and her husband saw it. It was a very short message but there were intimacy words in it. I'm not sure what happened to her and her husband now, we spoke on the phone the next day after her husband found out, she did asked me again if I want her, I told her that it is impossible. We stopped contacting each other after that, she does not wanna update me anything either. Her husband did not call me and request to talk to me, but I did received some prank calls recently... Someone who called and remain quiet, then hung up.
Anyway, I think I will just take this incident as a chance for me to stop getting in touch with her again. I sms her that I will end the secret relationship with her as it is not doing her good either, she did not say much... so I guess she is fine with my decision too. I'll see how it goes, as for my side, I will just not contacting her again...
Classic example of wad we call paper cannot wrap fire. -
Originally posted by _0h_gosh_:
Thanks to a few who replied me with good advise. Really appreciate it.
Something bad happened 1 week ago... I sms her a message and her husband saw it. It was a very short message but there were intimacy words in it. I'm not sure what happened to her and her husband now, we spoke on the phone the next day after her husband found out, she did asked me again if I want her, I told her that it is impossible. We stopped contacting each other after that, she does not wanna update me anything either. Her husband did not call me and request to talk to me, but I did received some prank calls recently... Someone who called and remain quiet, then hung up.
Anyway, I think I will just take this incident as a chance for me to stop getting in touch with her again. I sms her that I will end the secret relationship with her as it is not doing her good either, she did not say much... so I guess she is fine with my decision too. I'll see how it goes, as for my side, I will just not contacting her again...
You must be the office guy who go after the previous poster's wife, the world is really damn small, all of us got their roles to play, one as husband, one as wife, and one as wife's killer. Perhap, i should play the daughter role.
As man, never go after another man's wife, you just hurt your brother damn bad
As a woman, never go after another woman's husband, you just hurt your sister damn bad.