I hate my mother!!
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Originally posted by Mr Milo:
Jiani,
you have to think of ways to help your dad
The Women's Charter will put your dad at a serious disadvantage
like stalking and GPS tracking?
i wouldn't stalk, i will just think of other ways
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nah, not stalking
like what the rest have said, letters, receipts.....
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okay
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and she like to make up stories. Like saying my father didn't go for the overseas trip and had come home to tidy up my room
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Jiani are you also making this story up on your family too?
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@ts do you know why your mother wanted to divorce? maybe knowing the reason and the views from both parents will help you in your understanding. Try to talk to them in a calm manner separately and ask them about their views on the divorce. Maybe after listening to both of them, you can judge for yourself and state your opinion about the matter to both of them.
hopefully you will accept the outcome better afterwards. -
thinks the problem is the nf1 virus or disorder.try to find how to prevent the start or alleviation of problems that way u wont end up deaf etc. its ok jiani...u have been faced with such a situation from young.most people face it since 7 years of age even and do good in education and future especially if they are from chinese or asian enviroment unlike westerners in europe etc. for the school work its easy!just get worked examples maths or science in bookshops all over spore.dun know if your dad cant teach u or get some worked examples in maths and science for u as im sure he knows where to get it. some day your nf1 disorder they will have a cure for it meanwhile do your best.
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Coffee! Tea! Coffee! Tea!, would you like to have some tea sir?
Yes please
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Originally posted by Hitman Factory 1:
thinks the problem is the nf1 virus or disorder.try to find how to prevent the start or alleviation of problems that way u wont end up deaf etc.
its ok jiani…u have been faced with such a situation from young.most people face it since 7 years of age even and do good in education and future especially if they are from chinese or asian enviroment unlike westerners in europe etc.for the school work its easy!just get worked examples maths or science in bookshops all over spore.dun know if your dad cant teach u or get some worked examples in maths and science for u as im sure he knows where to get it.
some day your nf1 disorder they will have a cure for it meanwhile do your best.
nf1 is not a virus, its a genetic disorder. there's no cure to it, but they are researching for a way to make sure that the nf1 does not disturb my life.
it depends, the one i am having seem mild, serious cases affect very few people. the gene just increase my chance of cancer and blindness
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Originally posted by szechun:
@ts do you know why your mother wanted to divorce? maybe knowing the reason and the views from both parents will help you in your understanding. Try to talk to them in a calm manner separately and ask them about their views on the divorce. Maybe after listening to both of them, you can judge for yourself and state your opinion about the matter to both of them.
hopefully you will accept the outcome better afterwards.she said my father posion her food and drinks.
even after i went for a trip to genting with my father, she still accuse him of posioning her
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She just want to take as much as money as possible, then return to Sichuan to rejoin with her other family of husband and 2 sons. Just give it to her and let move on.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Since she got mental illness, you should show more care and love on her, take all the scolding and comment from her as secondary. Without any conditioning, you must make the move to serve her well, it will take an uphill task from you, a very stressful one, and a need for control and understanding one. But then, to think that she is your mother and you are doing it for your mother, deep inside you, take the pride and joy of it. Read the below.....After their first three dates, his girlfriend told him an astonishing piece of news that changed his life forever.
It was a "dark secret", 61-year old Raymond Anthony Fernando remembered of what his then-girlfriend Doris Lau Siew Lang told him almost three decades back.
I am schizophrenic, she had told him.
If that was not surprising enough, she also told him that she was a patient at the Institute of Mental Health, otherwise known as Woodbridge Hospital in the 60s.
Yet, the secret she guarded so carefully — one that scared away all her previous boyfriends upon hearing — finally stood the test of one man's faith and love for her.
Raymond, a Singaporean whose heritage is part Eurasian and part Sri Lankan, listened as Doris poured her heart out about her past and her condition.
Schizophrenia is a group of psychotic disorders characterised by disturbances in thought, perception, affectation, behaviour and communication lasting longer than six months.
At the onset, because there was little public awareness on schizophrenia, Doris' symptoms of headaches, insomnia, a loss of appetite and even being delusional sometimes worried her family.
They believed she was charmed, and brought her to a medium instead. The delay worsened her condition. It had escalated to a point when she harboured suicidal thoughts. Back then in the 60s, a relative who worked in the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) heard of her unexplainable illness and recommended Doris be warded. Her condition finally stabilised.
Instead of breaking up with her after hearing what she said, the freelance television actor and motivational speaker asked her, "Will you marry me?"
"I was deeply moved by her sincerity and her caring nature. I had dated many girls, but Doris was very down to earth… Doris is a very timid person and I decided I wanted to give her a better life, so I asked for her hand in marriage," Raymond told this writer.
The couple tied the knot in 1974.
This year, the couple celebrate their 37-year anniversary.
Doris is still battling with schizophrenia and as of five years ago, arthritis as well. As for Raymond, he too has diabetes, high cholesterol and cataract.
Challenges of caring
Medical costs aside, Raymond revealed that the road is tough to say the least. He used to struggle between juggling work and caring for his wife.
In 1995, under tremendous amount of stress, he attempted suicide.
In retrospect, he said, "I deeply regret taking that route — imagine what would happen to Doris if I had not survived."
"It's still very tough," Raymond admitted. "But I have to stay and remain strong for Doris. She needs me badly."
The couple had unfortunately lost their only two children — one through a miscarriage and the other through an abortion. In the latter case, the couple made that decision as Doris would have to get off the drugs that would affect the foetus.
The devout Catholic relies on his faith to get by. He left his 31-year job as a public relations officer in October and is now working from home as a writer to earn income to pay their bills.
Caring for his wife turned him into an advocate for the mentally ill.
"It's been extremely tough for her as Doris' sole caregiver, especially when the support structure for caregivers of the mentally ill is clearly lacking — something which I have been fighting for, for decades."
But Raymond never regretted taking her as his wife.
"No, I will not ever walk away from taking care of Doris because of one simple reason — I love her deeply," he said
Raymond handles all the household chores and finances while maintaining his writing jobs and caring for his wife. The last job entails taking her to numerous medical appointments at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, IMH and polyclinics monthly, and ensuring she religiously takes her medication — 52 tablets a daily. He visits the same hospital for his eye treatment.
Although her schizophrenia is now stabilised, Raymond reveals that it may relapse anytime. "The symptoms of her arthritis condition caused her to be in tremendous physical pain in all her joints that left her mobility severely impaired. In severe pain, it can trigger a relapse of her mental illness," he said.
Doris had suffered a relapse before so he and the doctors are carefully monitoring her condition.
Symptoms
Raymond reveals how the symptoms first develop. He usually first notices physical tell-tale signs such as the white of her eyes turning slightly blue, and much dandruff appearing on her scalp.
At the beginning, Doris would become uncannily quiet and fearful. "The slightest noise will affect her," Raymond said. Over time, she tends to become increasingly anxious and begins hallucinating. While she is not violent, her husband said, Doris cries when she hears buzzing in her ears and voices telling her to do "strange" things.
"There were occasions when I had to sleep with the house keys under my pillow as she would wake up in the middle of the night and attempt to go downstairs to the void deck. She believed that her mother was waiting for her downstairs. But her mother had already passed away," Raymond said sadly.
Traumatic experiences such as the loss of their children and the loss of her mother haunt her as well.
The breaking point is when Doris begins talking about suicide. That is when Raymond is left with no choice but to admit her into hospital.
"On most occasions, she would have to undergo ECT ( electro convulsive therapy). This is where mild current is applied to the brain every four seconds to stabilise her. Most of the time, she requires at least six shots of ECT. It is an extremely painful period for me," he said.
She may require another knee operation should her medications fail, he adds.Despite all these, while he acknowledges that it is an uphill task to care for her as her arthritis condition worsens, he is prepared to fight this battle for he and his beloved wife.
"If there's one thing you can say to your wife now, what would you say?" this reporter asked.
"If schizophrenia is part of your life, then it must certainly be part of my life. I don't necessarily like what the illness does to you, but it is you who I love. And that will always be the guiding, motivating force of my life, Doris."
she don't have schizophrenia.
its delusional disorder, paranoid type
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Originally posted by Jacky Woo:
Jiani are you also making this story up on your family too?
3lOH55V
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Originally posted by Jacky Woo:
Jiani are you also making this story up on your family too?
i can't believe how insensitive u are
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
i can't believe how insensitive u are
FYI, sensitive people dun come here. -
Originally posted by angel7030:
FYI, sensitive people dun come here.Those sensitive people here, long already also become corrupted and start to scold people.
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Some from Grace to ungraceful, some from fool become a fu
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Originally posted by angel7030:
FYI, sensitive people dun come here.FYI, there are trolls everywhere
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I know, that is why i am begining to hate your mother too
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Originally posted by angel7030:
I know, that is why i am begining to hate your mother too
why?
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
why?
because i hate you, so will hate your mom double -
Originally posted by angel7030:
because i hate you, so will hate your mom doubleYES ME VERY AGREE. WE HATE SUMMER.
I CANOT IMAGINE SOMBODY SO DISRESCPECTFUL TO MOTHER. MOTHER CUM FIRST. IN ALL DIVORCE, WOMAN IS ENTITLE TO 50%. UR FATHER IS SELFISH, HE CANOT HOLD OUT ON HER ENTITLEMENT. IT IS HIS FAILURE IN NOT MAINTAINING YER MARRIAGE !
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Originally posted by I_hv_crush:
YES ME VERY AGREE. WE HATE SUMMER.
I CANOT IMAGINE SOMBODY SO DISRESCPECTFUL TO MOTHER. MOTHER CUM FIRST. IN ALL DIVORCE, WOMAN IS ENTITLE TO 50%. UR FATHER IS SELFISH, HE CANOT HOLD OUT ON HER ENTITLEMENT. IT IS HIS FAILURE IN NOT MAINTAINING YER MARRIAGE !
So you created this account just to scold me.
Are you tvbmediacorp?
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OF CUZ. SHE WANNA SELL LIFE INSURANCE. YER FATHER MAY ICTH ICTH AND DECIDE ON A YOUNGER WIFE, THEN HOW?????
SHE MUST MAKE SURE THE $$$ NOT GO TO YER NEW STEP MOTHER.
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Originally posted by I_hv_crush:
OF CUZ. SHE WANNA SELL LIFE INSURANCE. YER FATHER MAY ICTH ICTH AND DECIDE ON A YOUNGER WIFE, THEN HOW?????
SHE MUST MAKE SURE THE $$$ NOT GO TO YER NEW STEP MOTHER.
You don't know my father well
Pity u, guess ur father made it off with a younger wife, huh?