I hate my mother!!
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Originally posted by angel7030:
C'mon lah, your got to be realistic, 3 millions leh, and it also do not imply that she will leave you, after taken the 3 millions, she might go china for a while, then end up in beijin or shanghai, doing business there can earn big, once she become rich, she will call you along, mother's love is eternalI don't want her money!!
I still have my values. I wouldn't suck up to someone that hurt me terribly.
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
she gets 30%
Divorce is always painful. But can you ask her to spare some $$$ for your university education? Share with your father (30/70) to bear the expenses ? At least you got something positive to look for in your future. -
Jiani,
Keep cool.
When you are angry, you come up with all sorts of assumptions. They you will do the wrong things, make the wrong decisions, say the wrong things.
Like kilfer, said, write down your true feelings, honestly.
Let the adults handle the divorce. You can't understand them, and they don't understand you.
Just keep cool. If you must say something, say it calmly.
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
I don't want her money!!
I still have my values. I wouldn't suck up to someone that hurt me terribly.
Your mother leh, hold you for months in her womb and then hv to go thru the pain to deliver you, bring you up, send you to education, buy these and that including ipad and iphone and computer for you, and now you use it to post bad about her..mai lah, she is not young anymore, treasure her. -
Originally posted by angel7030:
Your mother leh, hold you for months in her womb and then hv to go thru the pain to deliver you, bring you up, send you to education, buy these and that including ipad and iphone and computer for you, and now you use it to post bad about her..mai lah, she is not young anymore, treasure her.my father paid for the computer, my father paid for my education, my father paid for my textbooks.......
my father send me to school when i was young, my father was there for me when i vomited, my father was the one who cleaned up the mess and not her
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But your father asked for her hand, your father vow to be with her thru thick and thin in life, your father sex with her to borne you, your father built a family with her, your father then divorce her??? mana can like this, all we hear is you on your mother, we have yet to call your mom to the stand leh. She will hv a different story.
Anyway, you better than me, got a mother to scold you, me want a mother also dun have. sob sob...
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Your mother leh, hold you for months in her womb and then hv to go thru the pain to deliver you, bring you up, send you to education, buy these and that including ipad and iphone and computer for you, and now you use it to post bad about her..mai lah, she is not young anymore, treasure her.to me, she's just my surrogate mother
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Originally posted by angel7030:
But your father asked for her hand, your father vow to be with her thru thick and thin in life, your father sex with her to borne you, your father built a family with her, your father then divorce her??? mana can like this, all we hear is you on your mother, we have yet to call your mom to the stand leh. She will hv a different story.
Anyway, you better than me, got a mother to scold you, me want a mother also dun have. sob sob...
my mother was the one asking for divorce
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Some thing must be wrong to make yr mom to ask for divorce, look at it closely, it could be a mental illness, or something yr dad did wrong but you had no knowledge over it, if it is just for money, I bet yr mom will not go for it, cos she knows divorce gain is only a short time one, why not stay on and enjoy the long term gain
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Some thing must be wrong to make yr mom to ask for divorce, look at it closely, it could be a mental illness, or something yr dad did wrong but you had no knowledge over it, if it is just for money, I bet yr mom will not go for it, cos she knows divorce gain is only a short time one, why not stay on and enjoy the long term gain
its mental illness, i tell her to take her pills she don't want.
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Originally posted by MagnificientDiagrams:
Divorce is always painful. But can you ask her to spare some $$$ for your university education? Share with your father (30/70) to bear the expenses ? At least you got something positive to look for in your future.when i was young, she said if i want to go university i must take on debt. -.-
no saving for me.
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is ur mum from china?
Just asking la.
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one of the most funny she did was she demand money from my edusave.
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Originally posted by motoway:
is ur mum from china?
Just asking la.
Yup, foreign bride.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Your mother leh, hold you for months in her womb and then hv to go thru the pain to deliver you, bring you up, send you to education, buy these and that including ipad and iphone and computer for you, and now you use it to post bad about her..mai lah, she is not young anymore, treasure her.maybe she has this sick need to give life and toture it?
Liking saving a cat from the sea, does it give you a lisence to toture it? You saved and gave life to cat, am I right?
Think.
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Case solved, answer disclosed.
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Originally posted by Summer hill:
its mental illness, i tell her to take her pills she don't want.
Since she got mental illness, you should show more care and love on her, take all the scolding and comment from her as secondary. Without any conditioning, you must make the move to serve her well, it will take an uphill task from you, a very stressful one, and a need for control and understanding one. But then, to think that she is your mother and you are doing it for your mother, deep inside you, take the pride and joy of it. Read the below.....After their first three dates, his girlfriend told him an astonishing piece of news that changed his life forever.
It was a "dark secret", 61-year old Raymond Anthony Fernando remembered of what his then-girlfriend Doris Lau Siew Lang told him almost three decades back.
I am schizophrenic, she had told him.
If that was not surprising enough, she also told him that she was a patient at the Institute of Mental Health, otherwise known as Woodbridge Hospital in the 60s.
Yet, the secret she guarded so carefully — one that scared away all her previous boyfriends upon hearing — finally stood the test of one man's faith and love for her.
Raymond, a Singaporean whose heritage is part Eurasian and part Sri Lankan, listened as Doris poured her heart out about her past and her condition.
Schizophrenia is a group of psychotic disorders characterised by disturbances in thought, perception, affectation, behaviour and communication lasting longer than six months.
At the onset, because there was little public awareness on schizophrenia, Doris' symptoms of headaches, insomnia, a loss of appetite and even being delusional sometimes worried her family.
They believed she was charmed, and brought her to a medium instead. The delay worsened her condition. It had escalated to a point when she harboured suicidal thoughts. Back then in the 60s, a relative who worked in the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) heard of her unexplainable illness and recommended Doris be warded. Her condition finally stabilised.
Instead of breaking up with her after hearing what she said, the freelance television actor and motivational speaker asked her, "Will you marry me?"
"I was deeply moved by her sincerity and her caring nature. I had dated many girls, but Doris was very down to earth… Doris is a very timid person and I decided I wanted to give her a better life, so I asked for her hand in marriage," Raymond told this writer.
The couple tied the knot in 1974.
This year, the couple celebrate their 37-year anniversary.
Doris is still battling with schizophrenia and as of five years ago, arthritis as well. As for Raymond, he too has diabetes, high cholesterol and cataract.
Challenges of caring
Medical costs aside, Raymond revealed that the road is tough to say the least. He used to struggle between juggling work and caring for his wife.
In 1995, under tremendous amount of stress, he attempted suicide.
In retrospect, he said, "I deeply regret taking that route — imagine what would happen to Doris if I had not survived."
"It's still very tough," Raymond admitted. "But I have to stay and remain strong for Doris. She needs me badly."
The couple had unfortunately lost their only two children — one through a miscarriage and the other through an abortion. In the latter case, the couple made that decision as Doris would have to get off the drugs that would affect the foetus.
The devout Catholic relies on his faith to get by. He left his 31-year job as a public relations officer in October and is now working from home as a writer to earn income to pay their bills.
Caring for his wife turned him into an advocate for the mentally ill.
"It's been extremely tough for her as Doris' sole caregiver, especially when the support structure for caregivers of the mentally ill is clearly lacking — something which I have been fighting for, for decades."
But Raymond never regretted taking her as his wife.
"No, I will not ever walk away from taking care of Doris because of one simple reason — I love her deeply," he said
Raymond handles all the household chores and finances while maintaining his writing jobs and caring for his wife. The last job entails taking her to numerous medical appointments at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, IMH and polyclinics monthly, and ensuring she religiously takes her medication — 52 tablets a daily. He visits the same hospital for his eye treatment.
Although her schizophrenia is now stabilised, Raymond reveals that it may relapse anytime. "The symptoms of her arthritis condition caused her to be in tremendous physical pain in all her joints that left her mobility severely impaired. In severe pain, it can trigger a relapse of her mental illness," he said.
Doris had suffered a relapse before so he and the doctors are carefully monitoring her condition.
Symptoms
Raymond reveals how the symptoms first develop. He usually first notices physical tell-tale signs such as the white of her eyes turning slightly blue, and much dandruff appearing on her scalp.
At the beginning, Doris would become uncannily quiet and fearful. "The slightest noise will affect her," Raymond said. Over time, she tends to become increasingly anxious and begins hallucinating. While she is not violent, her husband said, Doris cries when she hears buzzing in her ears and voices telling her to do "strange" things.
"There were occasions when I had to sleep with the house keys under my pillow as she would wake up in the middle of the night and attempt to go downstairs to the void deck. She believed that her mother was waiting for her downstairs. But her mother had already passed away," Raymond said sadly.
Traumatic experiences such as the loss of their children and the loss of her mother haunt her as well.
The breaking point is when Doris begins talking about suicide. That is when Raymond is left with no choice but to admit her into hospital.
"On most occasions, she would have to undergo ECT ( electro convulsive therapy). This is where mild current is applied to the brain every four seconds to stabilise her. Most of the time, she requires at least six shots of ECT. It is an extremely painful period for me," he said.
She may require another knee operation should her medications fail, he adds.Despite all these, while he acknowledges that it is an uphill task to care for her as her arthritis condition worsens, he is prepared to fight this battle for he and his beloved wife.
"If there's one thing you can say to your wife now, what would you say?" this reporter asked.
"If schizophrenia is part of your life, then it must certainly be part of my life. I don't necessarily like what the illness does to you, but it is you who I love. And that will always be the guiding, motivating force of my life, Doris."
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Originally posted by motoway:
Case solved, answer disclosed.
Not yet, should ask TS to take his mom pills now -
Lesson learned don't get married
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Not yet, should ask TS to take his mom pills now-.-
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Since she got mental illness, you should show more care and love on her, take all the scolding and comment from her as secondary. Without any conditioning, you must make the move to serve her well, it will take an uphill task from you, a very stressful one, and a need for control and understanding one. But then, to think that she is your mother and you are doing it for your mother, deep inside you, take the pride and joy of it. Read the below.....After their first three dates, his girlfriend told him an astonishing piece of news that changed his life forever.
It was a "dark secret", 61-year old Raymond Anthony Fernando remembered of what his then-girlfriend Doris Lau Siew Lang told him almost three decades back.
I am schizophrenic, she had told him.
If that was not surprising enough, she also told him that she was a patient at the Institute of Mental Health, otherwise known as Woodbridge Hospital in the 60s.
Yet, the secret she guarded so carefully — one that scared away all her previous boyfriends upon hearing — finally stood the test of one man's faith and love for her.
Raymond, a Singaporean whose heritage is part Eurasian and part Sri Lankan, listened as Doris poured her heart out about her past and her condition.
Schizophrenia is a group of psychotic disorders characterised by disturbances in thought, perception, affectation, behaviour and communication lasting longer than six months.
At the onset, because there was little public awareness on schizophrenia, Doris' symptoms of headaches, insomnia, a loss of appetite and even being delusional sometimes worried her family.
They believed she was charmed, and brought her to a medium instead. The delay worsened her condition. It had escalated to a point when she harboured suicidal thoughts. Back then in the 60s, a relative who worked in the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) heard of her unexplainable illness and recommended Doris be warded. Her condition finally stabilised.
Instead of breaking up with her after hearing what she said, the freelance television actor and motivational speaker asked her, "Will you marry me?"
"I was deeply moved by her sincerity and her caring nature. I had dated many girls, but Doris was very down to earth… Doris is a very timid person and I decided I wanted to give her a better life, so I asked for her hand in marriage," Raymond told this writer.
The couple tied the knot in 1974.
This year, the couple celebrate their 37-year anniversary.
Doris is still battling with schizophrenia and as of five years ago, arthritis as well. As for Raymond, he too has diabetes, high cholesterol and cataract.
Challenges of caring
Medical costs aside, Raymond revealed that the road is tough to say the least. He used to struggle between juggling work and caring for his wife.
In 1995, under tremendous amount of stress, he attempted suicide.
In retrospect, he said, "I deeply regret taking that route — imagine what would happen to Doris if I had not survived."
"It's still very tough," Raymond admitted. "But I have to stay and remain strong for Doris. She needs me badly."
The couple had unfortunately lost their only two children — one through a miscarriage and the other through an abortion. In the latter case, the couple made that decision as Doris would have to get off the drugs that would affect the foetus.
The devout Catholic relies on his faith to get by. He left his 31-year job as a public relations officer in October and is now working from home as a writer to earn income to pay their bills.
Caring for his wife turned him into an advocate for the mentally ill.
"It's been extremely tough for her as Doris' sole caregiver, especially when the support structure for caregivers of the mentally ill is clearly lacking — something which I have been fighting for, for decades."
But Raymond never regretted taking her as his wife.
"No, I will not ever walk away from taking care of Doris because of one simple reason — I love her deeply," he said
Raymond handles all the household chores and finances while maintaining his writing jobs and caring for his wife. The last job entails taking her to numerous medical appointments at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, IMH and polyclinics monthly, and ensuring she religiously takes her medication — 52 tablets a daily. He visits the same hospital for his eye treatment.
Although her schizophrenia is now stabilised, Raymond reveals that it may relapse anytime. "The symptoms of her arthritis condition caused her to be in tremendous physical pain in all her joints that left her mobility severely impaired. In severe pain, it can trigger a relapse of her mental illness," he said.
Doris had suffered a relapse before so he and the doctors are carefully monitoring her condition.
Symptoms
Raymond reveals how the symptoms first develop. He usually first notices physical tell-tale signs such as the white of her eyes turning slightly blue, and much dandruff appearing on her scalp.
At the beginning, Doris would become uncannily quiet and fearful. "The slightest noise will affect her," Raymond said. Over time, she tends to become increasingly anxious and begins hallucinating. While she is not violent, her husband said, Doris cries when she hears buzzing in her ears and voices telling her to do "strange" things.
"There were occasions when I had to sleep with the house keys under my pillow as she would wake up in the middle of the night and attempt to go downstairs to the void deck. She believed that her mother was waiting for her downstairs. But her mother had already passed away," Raymond said sadly.
Traumatic experiences such as the loss of their children and the loss of her mother haunt her as well.
The breaking point is when Doris begins talking about suicide. That is when Raymond is left with no choice but to admit her into hospital.
"On most occasions, she would have to undergo ECT ( electro convulsive therapy). This is where mild current is applied to the brain every four seconds to stabilise her. Most of the time, she requires at least six shots of ECT. It is an extremely painful period for me," he said.
She may require another knee operation should her medications fail, he adds.Despite all these, while he acknowledges that it is an uphill task to care for her as her arthritis condition worsens, he is prepared to fight this battle for he and his beloved wife.
"If there's one thing you can say to your wife now, what would you say?" this reporter asked.
"If schizophrenia is part of your life, then it must certainly be part of my life. I don't necessarily like what the illness does to you, but it is you who I love. And that will always be the guiding, motivating force of my life, Doris."
what can i do if she don't want to take her pills?
like smashing it and put it in her food?
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We have a supply demand imbalance.
Summer don't want her mum. Angel wants a mum,
Solution: Summer disown her mum. Angel can take over. Problem solved!
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Angel, talk is easy, when you are not in TS shoes.
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Er...but I prefer a Taiwanese mom, not a PRC mom.
Mommy for sale?
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Mommy for adoption.
Do a good deed. Adopt Summer's mum.