Depression twin no.2.
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Hi everyone,
I'm 20 this year the younger twin. I have a twin sister,we have the same passion and everything.We both like drawing and painting.Since young we attend art classes together and school till primary school.
i always compare myself with her.We are very close to one another,till now we bath together. Now i join her in the same studio to work.I feel so happy that we are back working togetehr again.
But many years i'm suffering from depression since secondary school.Now i have stop doing art the things i like. And always think of jumping down 13th storey.
Everyone admire my twin sister's drawing.She is like an idol to me too.she always say my drawing make her depressed too. we both compare alot.
Im so afraid that one day , we will leave each other. I'm so afraid one say she will found a lover..at this new year day ,a guy that admire her very much and she herself admire very much ask her out for a date.
I felt lost.i felt even more depressed. I'm so afraid that my bad mood and jealousy will make my family suffer.i plan to end my life soon. i start to lose all the confident in myself and doubt why should i be born when my twin sister is already so perfect.
Can someone enlighten me ,advice me, help me. Im so afraid i will end my life.
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When everybody is praising your sister, tell them you are her.
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Genetically identical twins may start off having the same genetic materials at birth. However, as they grew older, they will begin to differ from each other more and more. It is natural. Eventually, you will lead your own life.
It is normal that people compare against each other. It is just human. However, everyone has its own niches and flaws, so how to compare equally in the first place?
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It is very tough for me ,now i dont know whether is depression ,or i doubt it is my personailty of feeling jealous and all.
But i do get really depressed till the extend of killing myself.
i tried to walk out of her shadow but i cant for many year.
i feel like going for a counselling or a trip. seperate myself from my twin sister from now on. so i can carry on with my life. i feel so depressed everyday.
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Take a holiday off to Phuket, and relax on a beach. Picture yourself sun-bathing on the white sand and crystal clear blue waters.. You will feel much better after returning back.
And don't think too much onto this thing, go divert your mind somewhere else. If not you will just think more and feel more agitated and depressed.
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i think of travelling too. But can i make it there alone? booking air ticket and all. I wish i can smile in the new year 2012.
Sometimes i will encourage myself and move on,but then i will cry again and picture my funeral.i will think that life will be better for my family if im not around.
do you all think it is better to stop working together with my twin and move on with my own life. If not it will remind me of everything .
How can get up on my knee again,how can i feel proud of myself have confident ?How to improve my mental health?Monday she will be having the first date of her life.i feel happy for her,yet i feel so sad at the same times. my worst fear for seperating from her because she found her another half. when all this while we are one together and i always think she complete me as a whole. i need to walk on. anyone can advice me what i can do so that i can get back on my passion on art and being confident in myself and find my happiness of life? Thanks for all the reply,it make me feel better .
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i feel like going to east coast park and cycle till i wake into sense,and by myself .love myself.be confident about myself. i feel like floating on the sea.i feel like walking in the cloud.it is 2012 i want myself back,i want to smile i want to smile. teach me how to love ,tell me i deserve anything if i just try my best to be myself. i wish everyoen a happy 2012.i wish everyone to shine being themselves. i wish my twin sister all the happiness on her first date which is monday.i wish myself great health my parent healthy and all! i wish everyone will keep their passion burning.
never stop believing yourself as you are the one that understand what you care and needed the most.
stay happy ah sian ,you can do it .I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN BE HAPPY !
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Originally posted by chewsian:
i feel like going to east coast park and cycle till i wake into sense,and by myself .love myself.be confident about myself. i feel like floating on the sea.i feel like walking in the cloud.it is 2012 i want myself back,i want to smile i want to smile. teach me how to love ,tell me i deserve anything if i just try my best to be myself. i wish everyoen a happy 2012.i wish everyone to shine being themselves. i wish my twin sister all the happiness on her first date which is monday.i wish myself great health my parent healthy and all! i wish everyone will keep their passion burning.
never stop believing yourself as you are the one that understand what you care and needed the most.
stay happy ah sian ,you can do it .I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN BE HAPPY !
Hi there, I know you are so desperate to feel happy. Whatever it takes, and you feel like doing, just do..go cycling or what..go swimming, float in da water and all that.
I dono if u shld separate from your twin since u said she completes you. How about you share your fears with her? I'm sure as your twin she will be very, very very in tune with your feelings. She will understand (or try to, even if she can't), even tho u said she's the more outgg one of the two of you. Try not to keep comparing, though it's easier said than done.
Ge you qian qiu. You are not her, she is not you. Even if you both look alike. That's where the similarities end. You both may have the same passions, same talents, same upbringing, same culture, same parents, same friends...but both of you are different ppl. A good analogy would be two leaves dat share the same stem. Do you think you would see the same veins on each leaf?
If anything, you really want to chat about, you can pm me, I don't bite. And I'm a girl btw so no worries about anything.
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angel of darkness thanks you for the advices. i promise myself not to shed anymore tear but afte rreading your reply my tear flow out again. i really chat with you.thanks you so much. we are both leaves on the same tree.but leaves will fall and float beautiful into different places. i wish i can i wish i can!i can !
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Originally posted by chewsian:
angel of darkness thanks you for the advices. i promise myself not to shed anymore tear but afte rreading your reply my tear flow out again. i really chat with you.thanks you so much. we are both leaves on the same tree.but leaves will fall and float beautiful into different places. i wish i can i wish i can!i can !
U can de =)
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The twins are still fighting for the same source... just like when they were fetuses....
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U are 20? Time to grow up.
Your sister will eventually leave u to start her own family.
And u, should get a bf too.
She cant be with u forever too.
One more thing, not working in the same company is a good start to stop all the stupid comparing.
U wanna jump? Your face will be flatten, think about it.
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You are right it is time to grow up. It is time to grow up.i have been doing too much silly thing,too emotional and all. I must have treat my life like a film i wanted it to be perfect the way i want it to be and when it does not all i do is cry.
YOU ARE VERY RIGHT Time to grow up .time to behave like 20 .time to love myself.time to smile.time walk on in life. Yes i willl find my happiness, i will try.
No more tears ,no more ,no more. there shall only be tears of joys. i must be strong i must be strong!Happy new year everyone. have a great year ahead.:-)
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First of all, Are both of you identical twins, or fraternal twins.
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Good for you. You must now live a different life from your twin sister. YOu must tell yourself, you are yourself, you are not her, you do not live in her shadows.
Suicide is not the answer. I had a friend who committed suicide. He told everyone that his life was terrible, he was suffering from depression and he felt his life was not going anywhere. He jumped out from the 13th floor. But years later, I wondered how he would have been had he lived on. I thought his life would have been much better. He never counted his blessings. First he had many friends, at school he was the "hot" guy - many chicks were after him, his studies were doing ok and most of all - his parents loved him so much. He wasted his life for nothing, his mom was so heartbroken because of his actions. I saw his mom cried terribly during his funeral. If he seen her sadness, he would surely not have jumped.
So do not follow his example. There is no turning back for suicide.
You must learn to love yourself. Count your blessings. Tell yourself, what is the positives in your life? Do you love school? Your parents care a lot about you? etc. I am sure you have been blessed.
You must seek a hobby or interest. Something to get away from the shadows of your twin sister. Do something you like. Maybe drawing, art, martial arts, sports, comics, board games, etc. Anything to get your mind off her.
If things get too stressful, you may consider doing what Julia Roberts' character did in "Eat, Pray, Love". You may find solace by going to an ashram in india to medidate and clear your mind. Or you can go backpacking in some poorer asian country, help you to see that there are people much worse than you and make you appreciate what you have in your life.
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thanks you so much. Im trying to i am . i love to draw although drawing is the thing that make me most stressful i want to face it .the more i avoid it the more i lose myself , i Know i must be myself. im not living in a shadow.I am not. im myself im ah sian always ah sian. im born as ah sian always will live on as ah sian. i will be proud of myself.
ah sian please move on ,no more tears, no matter how sad you feel . cry and move on.
walk on ,be strong.
im know it will take me another year to gain back all my confident i have in myself.i know thing will change if she have a lover soon. i know i can face it.i know many people love me so much in my life. i know it all my heart. i must treasure them,treasure myself.thanks all of you. whenever i feel sad i will come back to this forum and talk about it.
i cant believe that when i grow up i actually write in the depression forum.hahah i never know i can be so depressed.
im so afraid to bath again ,cause i always cry when i shower and in the night on my bed.my pillow will be soak with my tears.i started to have hallucination also.
i know i can walk out of all this. im so honour to be part of the twin, if im allow to rebirth i will choose to be twin with her also, Because i love and enjoy being twin with her, i love my family so much. i dun bear to leave them. i dun!!
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macha ,i believ we are fracternal twin .cause we dont look so much alike.
she have single eyelid i have double eyelide.
she is lefthanded ,im right handed.
her fringe part to the right ,mine to the to the left. we are mirrored- twin hahhaa.
when we are toddle we are feature in an newspaper for isetan adverstiment.full page adverstiment. a picture of both of us lying on the bed looking up ,a black and white adverstiment. im so proud of being part of the twin.
during a show and tell session in my polyclasses i show this newspaper cutting in the class .but why do i feel so sad and worried. i think too much? hahhaa silly right me cry all day all night ,pressured myself.
i wont leave my family ,because i know there are many ppl that love me.and i wont bear to leave my family. i will miss them so much .me and my twin often dicuss about sucide and what we will burn for one another .one night i told her that if i plan to end my life i would like her to burn my toys and a family photo .i cried after that .
im so silly right 20 year old act liek a 12 year old or even smaller.stupid me .
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Originally posted by chewsian:
macha ,i believ we are fracternal twin .cause we dont look so much alike.
she have single eyelid i have double eyelide.
she is lefthanded ,im right handed.
her fringe part to the right ,mine to the to the left. we are mirrored- twin hahhaa.
when we are toddle we are feature in an newspaper for isetan adverstiment.full page adverstiment. a picture of both of us lying on the bed looking up ,a black and white adverstiment. im so proud of being part of the twin.
during a show and tell session in my polyclasses i show this newspaper cutting in the class .but why do i feel so sad and worried. i think too much? hahhaa silly right me cry all day all night ,pressured myself.
i wont leave my family ,because i know there are many ppl that love me.and i wont bear to leave my family. i will miss them so much .me and my twin often dicuss about sucide and what we will burn for one another .one night i told her that if i plan to end my life i would like her to burn my toys and a family photo .i cried after that .
im so silly right 20 year old act liek a 12 year old or even smaller.stupid me .
Dear, you are still identical twins larh. You say you both are mirrored twins ma. Small differences like mono- and double eyelids don't matter. Parting all can change one mah, den which hand you write with also depends on which hand you both start griping pencils with.
Fraternal twins do not look alike at all cos they are from two eggs.
Does your twin also have this same problem? Cos you said u both got discuss suicide.. =S not good..
Depression can be caused by genetics de...so even if it happen, it is not entirely your fault although you can still change it for the better. =) And that's not to say to give up cos it's genetics, but still must try, just that will be harder for youuu.
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i believe we are different egg ,i never really check also hahaha.
my twin sis said she has step out of my shadow ,she have tell herself never to cry no more. she is stronger than i am .
of course she has nothing to depressed about her life will be very very lovely onward.
hahah happy for her really i am i really am. just a little jealous. mayeb a lot.
hahahhaha.i really feel better and better. monday is coming ,i dunno if i will breakdown again, if i ever did i will return here to chat about it.:-)
thanks you all with all my heart.!
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Originally posted by chewsian:
i believe we are different egg ,i never really check also hahaha.
my twin sis said she has step out of my shadow ,she have tell herself never to cry no more. she is stronger than i am .
of course she has nothing to depressed about her life will be very very lovely onward.
hahah happy for her really i am i really am. just a little jealous. mayeb a lot.
hahahhaha.i really feel better and better. monday is coming ,i dunno if i will breakdown again, if i ever did i will return here to chat about it.:-)
thanks you all with all my heart.!
come we go gacha. hahaha =P
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The term twins may be used, but she is actually your sister, born not a year apart, but only by a few minutes.
So she is your separate sister.
You don't have to impose on yourself the expectations of others that you should be like your sister. People like to see the magic of exactness between twins. They will always compare, and that is annoying, and belittleing. You cannot control that, but you should tell them off.
You are your own person. Just as your sister is her own person, and realised that sooner than you.You need to go your own way.
Remember, if you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter for always there will be greater and lesser person than yourself. These words came from a writing in 1692
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angel of darkness,let go gacha! :)))
macha,that is so truth i think im the one keep using the term "twin".im the one feeling being part of the twin is special,when i never realised that being oneself can be special as well.everyone has the right to be here.
Desiderata ,inside say avoid loud aggressive person,im going to be like that soon if i dun recover. hahaha later all my family and friend avoid me.
Thanks you so much for the encouragment, i really feel better so much.I feel that my sister found her love,is the time to allow me to finally wake into sense from all this year of doubting. stand proud of being myself.
And also i could listen to their love story,when i look at my sis and her lover into the love mood. i actually feel im in love also.I dunno whether it is a good thing la.
and i could still have few more years or decade to imagine about my perfect dream husband or lover.anticipate for it.Good thing come to those who wait right.haha console myself.
I don't know if my sister understand my feeling or not,i know i find myself very very emotional and if i grow up and look back i will laugh at all the things i have did.However ,i know that i feel this way because i never learn to appreciate my own artwork and life ,and only look at what other achieve.
i always put in my heart in everything i do,i often imagine a perfect ending.And when things dont go my way.I say that life is being tough on me. lacking of confident.even though i understand what is happening to me,but sometimes i felt so lost. a lot of things is running in my head ,alot that i cannot focus in life anymore. little things like sweeping the floor ,or just eating a meal will send my mind into boundless of imagination and thoughts.
Remember, if you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter for always there will be greater and lesser person than yourself.im so afraid to admit that my sister is a greater person than i am. a lot of people tell me this phrase,and i often think that i want to be the one greater than her. that is why i cannot move on in my life.im all vain and bitter now.
i will try to relax myself more,try not to push myself.i will focus teh right thing on the right time.Taking slow step.no matter how slow and steep the journey is i will walk out of this .:-)) learn to love myself more.thansk you everyone for the great advices.thanks you.
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Life is not about comparing, you compare only when your want to learn, comparing cannot be taken as jealousy or envying or in layman term, scare lose, kiasu, if you do that, the more you compare, the more worst you become frustrated and dissatisfy with oneself leading to long term depression that even medicine cannot compress it down.
If really want to compare, there are tons and tons of comparison, not just only your pathetic sister, the best is to compare with those famine or people who lost their parents, siblings and house due to fire, or some other natural diseasters, then maybe you will feel very lucky to be here and have a very capable twin sister. God give you a pair of eyes to see far, to see many roads, to see the beautiful and the ugly of this world, not just narrow it to your sister capabilities. Depression is mostly self created due to inner having no peace with yourself, the ability to make your friend to be a good friend is nothing comparing to the ability to make an enemy to become true lovely sister
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thanks you angel7030. i will walk on .:-) thanks you so much.
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huh! omg! nobody said thank you to me in my whole entire posting in this forum leh!! Gosh, got to buy some nos liao..
..and to keep that tradition going on, please do not thank me, for all the sex critics, scolding and bad comments I get, I find thanking me very hypocratic in a sense...
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