Secretary haress my friend...
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My friend just joined this company for around half a year. However he is in quite good terms generally with most of the people here, including his boss secretary. They always chat in the office as and when and tease each other sometimes.
My friend isn't attached and he is 30 years old. He isn't looking for one now as he is focusing on his new career and wants to make more money for better security for his life in future. Moreover his expenses are high and he wants to buy a car next year. Thus I feel that he is not going to find a gf within the next few years. He is pretty realistic as he told me that he will not commit any relationship unless he can earn at least 5k per month. He also do not want to commit a relationship with a girl in the same company in case things turn out bad and affect his career in future.
As for the secretary, she is quite young, around 25 to 26 years old. According to my friend, she is already attached with a bf. He said that she is a nice girl as she always tries to cheer people up with her smiles and short conversations, even with the cleaner auntie. Most of the times she will give some chocolates and snacks to him whenever he passes by her table or when she is distributing snacks to everyone in the office, she will offer him extra coz she knows my friend likes to eat. She even warn him who are the "bad" people to caution of during work coz she had worked there for many years.
But sometimes he can't stand a bit of her xiao mei mei temper which is something I think will exist for many young girls.
Now the real story sets in. A few weeks back, his department came in a new girl, also around the age of the secretary. Like almost immediately, the secretary tease my friend to woo the new girl to be his gf. But my friend is not interested in her as firstly because of his life goals as mentioned above. Secondly, my friend isn't a bit interested in her as she is not the type he want and he don't even know anything about her and they have nothing in common to chat about. He doesn't even like her background, come from rich family, too sporty and came from a local uni, and have a pretty successful career path. I feel the girl is most probably attached anyway, given the kind of background she have.
Thus my friend ask the secretary to stop this mindless "matchmaking" and stop putting him and the new girl together. Even one of the guy collegues stop this teasing on him one/two days later after the new girl came. However the secretary keep on teasing him to "woo" her and purposely creating opportunities for them to be together, which however my friend managed to escape from them all the times. But the secretary even What's app him to tell him the girl is not bad and should consider all those stuff. He keeps on insisting that he is not interested in the new girl at all and even warn her that he will do something to disturb the secretary if she continues to do such things again. I think he must be very upset by all these disturbances and teasings.
Now the limelight goes to my friend and the secretary. He had really done something really crazy this time. As usual, the secretary tease him with the new girl again. He got unhappy again and wants to get his little "revenge". After teasing him, he said loudly to her "(Secretary's name), Please marry me!!!" He think that some people around her table heard it. The secretary immediately face turned red and use her file to cover her face when my friend tries to pacify her that it was a joke after that. Things became ok after that.
But the secretary still continues to tease him with the new girl again. But this time round, think he became soft hearted and thus only tease her back softly or use what's app to her like, "Please be my gf, If you do this, then you are my gf, etc". I think he give face to her since she treat him pretty well previously. But everytime such things happen like that, the secretary will like give a fake shy expression and they talk again after that. My friend even lied to the secretary that he has someone in mind (his China classmate during his uni days) to reject all those mindless matchmaking. According to him, the secretary seems unhappy when he told her this everytime.
Then my friend ask me why the secretary behave like that towards him and always tease him to get a gf whenever a new girl joins the company. Of so many people in the office, no one even cares whether he should get a gf or not. Only this secretary keeps on pestering him to get a gf and get married, etc.
I only have 2 conclusions:
1. The girl must have fallen in love for my friend but she doesn't want to 2 timing him and her bf and so she purposely force him to have a gf so that she can forget him.
2. She is probably testing him to see what kind of guy my friend is before she wants him to be her future potential.
Which one is correct or am I totally wrong??? What should my friend do???
According to his finishing statement, he has good impression of the secretary, nice person, cute, cheerful and sweet, quite pretty, good friend, etc. But he has totally no feelings for her at all and he thinks he will not like her given his thinking of having a love affair in office is wrong and will ruin his career and routine job if things go wrong one day.
But then I told him such good girl hard to come by and so why not try out. He just told me that he has no feelings for her and she is already attached and so they are impossible.
Are my conclusion right??? And what he should do???
Any advices from any 情圣here??? hahaha...
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Too long to read. The secretary has not grown up yet, childish. Moreovr, it is an office not social circle, she must be clear on that.
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Your friend want to make money fast and avoid such people at the same time right? Work offshore.
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I have one more conclusion to add, its 3 worded, and doesn't sound too nice, so I won't say it.
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Is your friend u?
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Originally posted by winsomeea:
Is your friend u?
Yeah, it's me if you don't believe my first post and think it's me...
So clever...
Originally posted by ditzy:Your friend want to make money fast and avoid such people at the same time right? Work offshore.
He just started his career. Don't think he can go that far in such short term.
Originally posted by ditzy:I have one more conclusion to add, its 3 worded, and doesn’t sound too nice, so I won’t say it.
Go F*** Spider???
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Rule no.1 : Never eat and shit at the same place.
Rule no.2 : F & F
Rule no.3 : Open doors~
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Wah lau... Are your taught to SUMMARIZE during school dayz... ?
Fallen asleep after reading only half of your thread....
so sleepy....
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Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
Rule no.1 : Never eat and shit at the same place.
Rule no.2 : F & F
Rule no.3 : Open doors~
Don't understand all these rules. Care to elaborate???
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YOur friend can ignore her but where work is concerned cooperate with her. This secretary so chidlish not sure if she can do her job well. OMG! This kind of quality also can be secretary
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Originally posted by winsomeea:
YOur friend can ignore her but where work is concerned cooperate with her. This secretary so chidlish not sure if she can do her job well. OMG! This kind of quality also can be secretary
Yeah but I mean they are friends in office. Why have to treat her so coldly over such small things???Besides my friend is also equally childish to get his little revenge back to her by telling everyone he wants to marry her. Make the girl so embarressed that time. Wonder what was he thinking that time...
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But all girls, and women are like that at work what, they are all similar one way or another. That's why they cannot become big bosses, and if they do, they end up like SMRT.
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Based on the amount of salt I've eaten, I can safely say both have feelings for each other, but both also die die don't want to admit it.
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Originally posted by SBS 1000U:
Yeah but I mean they are friends in office. Why have to treat her so coldly over such small things???Besides my friend is also equally childish to get his little revenge back to her by telling everyone he wants to marry her. Make the girl so embarressed that time. Wonder what was he thinking that time...
Then why you bother about what he is goin thru in the office unless he is you. hahahah
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Originally posted by winsomeea:
Then why you bother about what he is goin thru in the office unless he is you. hahahah
He keep on complaining his job and this mah during our Christmas gathering. Actually I'm quite worried for him. Hope he doesn't job hop again because of this. Somemore this is a bank job he wanted so badly which is so hard to come by.But 30 years old no career and gf, I really pity him. As a buddy, I'm happy he got a good job but will be extra happy for him if he can be with such a nice girl, as he claimed to be. But it's up to him whether what he wants in life...
Anyway, I want to know my conclusions are right or not...
If I'm right, maybe I'm still quite clever after all...
Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Rule no.1 : Never eat and shit at the same place.
Rule no.2 : F & F
Rule no.3 : Open doors~
Anyway, what is the meaning of these 3 rules???Must learn a bit from here...
Originally posted by ditzy:But all girls, and women are like that at work what, they are all similar one way or another. That’s why they cannot become big bosses, and if they do, they end up like SMRT.
Good one here...
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The Secretary is obviously hitting on him by giving him the extra attention. Teasing him is just to see his reaction. If your friend and the other girl really got together, I am pretty sure the Secretary will avoid him then, unless she is extremely thick skinned. I think she has a crush on your friend ba. Best way is to totally ignore her unless its regarding work. She'll get tired of the no response after a while.
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i am no 情圣here but i can tell u that the secretary is not interested in your friend.
i feel that the conclusions u have stated is not possible as to put it simply, if she likes your friend, she wouldnt have "presented" him with both hands to the other girl. no matter how childish she is, she will not do that if she likes your friend.
if a child doesnt want to share his favourite toy with his mates, he will hide it from their sight. no child will try to 'sell' his toy like an eager sales personnel to gain commission, or dangle a carrot in front of a hungry rabbit.
she is most likely a 三八 who likes to bitch around. this kind of people like to create topics using people around her, so that through bitching, she can gain popularity in the office. it is your friend's luck to meet her and be chosen to be her topic.
this kind of people is hard for u to shake off. even if your friend tells her that he is a gay, she also can make that hot topic and bitch around.
but it seems like now, your friend had made the situation worser by his jokes. the bitch is trying to seek attention and your friend have given her the attention she wanted. all the more she will stick to him like magnet now.
but then again, whether your friend have feelings towards her, only he himself knows it. to consider such a girl as his potential, he must be stupid.
however, if he doesnt like her and want her to stop all her nonsense, i would advise him to just ignore her whenever she talks about such things. if she starts speaking about work related topics, then answer her. she should get it after a period of time. if she still doesnt understand, your friend could tell her directly.
if your friend continues to play along with her like what he is doing currently, he is preparing for the day he doesnt want to see to come. unless he really likes her, i dont think he would want to see the day his career got affected due to a bitch.
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Originally posted by Hseng25:
The Secretary is obviously hitting on him by giving him the extra attention. Teasing him is just to see his reaction. If your friend and the other girl really got together, I am pretty sure the Secretary will avoid him then, unless she is extremely thick skinned.
I think she has a crush on your friend ba. Best way is to totally ignore her unless its regarding work. She’ll get tired of the no response after a while.
I was think of telling him to continuing his little revenge everytime she tease him. Maybe eventually she will become his gf...Saw your story in another thread. Good for you for your final decision.
Originally posted by Gerberad:i am no 情圣here but i can tell u that the secretary is not interested in your friend.
i feel that the conclusions u have stated is not possible as to put it simply, if she likes your friend, she wouldnt have "presented" him with both hands to the other girl. no matter how childish she is, she will not do that if she likes your friend.
if a child doesnt want to share his favourite toy with his mates, he will hide it from their sight. no child will try to 'sell' his toy like an eager sales personnel to gain commission, or dangle a carrot in front of a hungry rabbit.
she is most likely a 三八 who likes to bitch around. this kind of people like to create topics using people around her, so that through bitching, she can gain popularity in the office. it is your friend's luck to meet her and be chosen to be her topic.
this kind of people is hard for u to shake off. even if your friend tells her that he is a gay, she also can make that hot topic and bitch around.
but it seems like now, your friend had made the situation worser by his jokes. the bitch is trying to seek attention and your friend have given her the attention she wanted. all the more she will stick to him like magnet now.
but then again, whether your friend have feelings towards her, only he himself knows it. to consider such a girl as his potential, he must be stupid.
however, if he doesnt like her and want her to stop all her nonsense, i would advise him to just ignore her whenever she talks about such things. if she starts speaking about work related topics, then answer her. she should get it after a period of time. if she still doesnt understand, your friend could tell her directly.
if your friend continues to play along with her like what he is doing currently, he is preparing for the day he doesnt want to see to come. unless he really likes her, i dont think he would want to see the day his career got affected due to a bitch.
Maybe she wants to forget him since she already has a bf and wants to use this tactic to forget my friend and be loyal to her bf??? Or maybe he is only a potential but not so critical to her yet so just test water???But his office don't have many young people. If like that, he has no friends there already. He is quite pitiful, sometimes have to lunch alone. So I try to meet him for lunch if I can.
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Yeah different girls different personality. I think best to ignore whatever games she's playing.
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probably just like how hseng25 puts it, different girls different personality.
it is ultimately still up to your friend's experience and intuition to decide on how the situation is like. i can only offer my point of view, and i still stands by it. :)
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is it not lost in translation when he told you this he said, you hear and thinks. ask him to come here and give his version unless he is you
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3. The girl is fucking annoying.
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Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
Rule no.1 : Never eat and shit at the same place.
Rule no.2 : F & F
Rule no.3 : Open doors~
Rule no.2: Fuck & Flee?
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Originally posted by ditzy:
But all girls, and women are like that at work what, they are all similar one way or another. That’s why they cannot become big bosses, and if they do, they end up like SMRT.
That is a sweeping statement, stereotyping. There are he quiet ones who don't bother to they only work and work.
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First and foremost, you seem to be very interested to know your friend's situation, you seem to have very high stake in the situation. Not sure if you are really the guy or the girl, in the story.
Should not jump to conclusion. It is very hard to conclude if the secretary is interested in him. Your friend should not make it a joke to say the secretary teasing is his girlfriend, it can cause misunderstanding.
If your friend doesn't like the secretary to tease and matchmake him, he should stop telling the teasing secretary to be his girlfriend (as a joke). This is because she would matchmake him even more, as she would want to find out more if he is interested in her, to eventually make him blurt out that he likes her. Not generally but some women, like the guy to say these things, because it makes them feel more wanted. But it doesn't mean these women like the guy, they just want to hear it that the guy likes them. When the guy say these things as a joke, they tend to fester and build strong crush on the girl, eventually he may not able to resist and confess his love to her. The final result is not good, once the secretary finds out, she would leave him high and dry as she is only interested to know how he feels about her.
Simply make it clear and tell the secretary to stop it. If it goes on, keep quiet and ignore. Better concentrate on the job because all these distractions can lead the boss to think that he is out of focus on his job.
I think your friend is not realistic, in saying that he would only marry when he achieves $5,000 a month salary. Sometimes, when love comes, he has to grasp that opportunity, it only comes once in a blue moon. Having said that, I am not saying that the teasing secretary is the one love that he should be chasing, because it seems that their relationship is only at platonic level. I have known a lot of guys who earn $5,000 a month, still single. Monetary is important but it is not all omnipotent in finding life partner. On the other hand, I have known people who earn $3,000 or $2,500 a month yet they are married at younger age.