Should I go for it or not? :(
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Originally posted by FreakGeek:
My closest guy friend recently confessed that he likes me. He's a really nice guy, almost an ideal bf for me and although I kinda like him back, I'm at a lost of what to do..
I dont think I'll be a good gf (due to my prev rs) thus I feel unworthy of his love for me..I can get very paranoid and I'm a very insecure person. I admit I'm quite spoilt at times and I'm especially temperamental when its the time of the month. I'm neither pretty nor I'm those girls who put on make-up or dress fashionably well and I fear that I'll be more of an embarrassment for him in front of his family and friends. To put it simply, I'm not somebody whom a typical guy will fall for but he is the type of guy that maybe any girl will fall for..
I honestly fear that if we get together, he'll one day realize that I'm just somebody so ordinary/horrible and I'll end up losing him like how I lost my ex whereby we dont even talk to each other anymore, not even as friends. I treasure our friendship so much so I dont know if I should take the risk in bringing this friendship to a whole new level.
Is it even right for me to think this much? Or are my worries totally uncalled for? What will you do in my situation? Just seeking opinions out there, thanks :(
I used to be so insecure and unsure of myself like you are. My colleague once told me, "If you don't know how to love yourself, you won't be able to love someone else.". It got me thinking for weeks. When I finally understood what she said, things changed. I'll never wallow in self-pity ever again. I'm as worthy as anyone out there, :). Here's another classic for you :" It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.". Hope it helps! Whatever decision you make, best of luck, ;)! -
you go girl.you never know it will end up in marriage.
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Why not go for it?I don't think I have the chance now cos maybe taking tonsure in future.You never know what comes out of the relationship.
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Originally posted by FreakGeek:
My closest guy friend recently confessed that he likes me. He's a really nice guy, almost an ideal bf for me and although I kinda like him back, I'm at a lost of what to do..
I dont think I'll be a good gf (due to my prev rs) thus I feel unworthy of his love for me..I can get very paranoid and I'm a very insecure person. I admit I'm quite spoilt at times and I'm especially temperamental when its the time of the month. I'm neither pretty nor I'm those girls who put on make-up or dress fashionably well and I fear that I'll be more of an embarrassment for him in front of his family and friends. To put it simply, I'm not somebody whom a typical guy will fall for but he is the type of guy that maybe any girl will fall for..
I honestly fear that if we get together, he'll one day realize that I'm just somebody so ordinary/horrible and I'll end up losing him like how I lost my ex whereby we dont even talk to each other anymore, not even as friends. I treasure our friendship so much so I dont know if I should take the risk in bringing this friendship to a whole new level.
Is it even right for me to think this much? Or are my worries totally uncalled for? What will you do in my situation? Just seeking opinions out there, thanks :(
Let him love you for who you are, not just your good points.
Funny enough, a girl's flaws can seem to be rather cute. So don't worry too much. -
Originally posted by angel7030:
I think you should treat guys like cars, once used, throw and get a new one, careless about what you are, or who you are, or what fashion or look you got, maybe then, you can have better peice of mind to go for it.
When I my new car, it was so good, so nice and steady, so much security and safety driving it, then once old, here got trouble, there give me problem and so on. Same like guy, starting very good, caring and steady, feel so secure and safety with him, then as the years gone by, it depreciated, problem start to rise, if too much, prepare to change lor.
Everything needs to be maintained.
If you hit your car against the curb, it would get a dent.
If you didn't send it for servicing, it would tend to break down.
Cause and effect.
Ofcourse, you can choose to switch car. That's the easy way out. -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
The conundrum between remaining as friends or
progressing further; ultimately it is your call. The ironic fact is
that the more reasons we use to justify the existence of a
relationship, the less likelihood it would happen. However, I am
not advocating for a 'no' - just that we have to decide what is it
that we really want and make a choice. Remember this: remaining
status quo through inactivity is a choice by itself.
All woman has their own insecurities; in varying degrees some ways or another. I would think that it is natural. However, if you feel that yours are slightly geared outside standard deviation, then you might want to find out the root of this insecurity, what exactly it is and how you would like to deal with them from a personal transformation point of view and not from a relational aspect.
Somehow, your post seemed to suggest that you are not worthy of him; rationally, that is the weakest form of emotional reason/s to justify a 'reject'. Well, if you like something, you just like it. It may not be a big deal to others, but hey, it's your opinion and choice. After all, beauty and love is not structured in a universal format that 'permits' certain exclusive category of people who are capable of being in love and those who are dismissed off this potential. Does not seem to work in that way.
Being in love is a self permitted right; if you decide that you are unworthy, then naturally, in your experience, you have learned that you are unloving and nothing good will ever come out of your love life.
Your belief will end up being a reality.
If having a friend is more important, then you will always find it hard to progress anything further than a bff. Because ultimately, like all things in life, there is always an element of risk. Even the best of relationship has that potential to become something sour. However, if your greatest challenge to proceed further is because you deemed yourself as unloving, then you might want to reflect on how you would want to unlearn this 'lesson' and overwrite it with a positive note.
Once you have self love; your perspective will naturally change.
CheersAlong the long text,
There is a line which I would like to emphasis: Your belief will end up being a reality.
Self-fulfilling prophecies. It will be counterproductive when your fear holds you back, and makes him feel that you are distancing yourself away on purpose. -
Originally posted by Sky_Blue223:
Everything needs to be maintained.
If you hit your car against the curb, it would get a dent.
If you didn't send it for servicing, it would tend to break down.
Cause and effect.
Ofcourse, you can choose to switch car. That's the easy way out.
So can you, you can change bf or gf if thing do not work out right, in life, dun be too emotional involve, learn to take and let go, learn to be able to lift and also be able to put down, be responsible for what you are doing, not everything need to be maintain, today, more and more things including bf and gf, husband and wife are use and throw.