Should I go for it or not? :(
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My closest guy friend recently confessed that he likes me. He's a really nice guy, almost an ideal bf for me and although I kinda like him back, I'm at a lost of what to do..
I dont think I'll be a good gf (due to my prev rs) thus I feel unworthy of his love for me..I can get very paranoid and I'm a very insecure person. I admit I'm quite spoilt at times and I'm especially temperamental when its the time of the month. I'm neither pretty nor I'm those girls who put on make-up or dress fashionably well and I fear that I'll be more of an embarrassment for him in front of his family and friends. To put it simply, I'm not somebody whom a typical guy will fall for but he is the type of guy that maybe any girl will fall for..
I honestly fear that if we get together, he'll one day realize that I'm just somebody so ordinary/horrible and I'll end up losing him like how I lost my ex whereby we dont even talk to each other anymore, not even as friends. I treasure our friendship so much so I dont know if I should take the risk in bringing this friendship to a whole new level.
Is it even right for me to think this much? Or are my worries totally uncalled for? What will you do in my situation? Just seeking opinions out there, thanks :(
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If you keep thinking in such a negative aspect, then i suggest u don't get into a relationship.
why?
because u are going to the those negative aspects with u and it will keep playing in ur mind.
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if u never try, u never know........
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How old are you?
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Originally posted by FireIce:
if u never try, u never know........
Try and you could be scarred for life.
Don't believe those "better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" crap.
Life will kick you in the gonads if it sees you writhing in pain on the ground and foaming at the mouth.
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Originally posted by charlize:
How old are you?
Please don't change the topic. -
The problem is not him, it is you and how you feel about yourself. (Your second paragraph.)
You don't have to make any commitment now.
You can take this opportunity to better yourself. This is the first thing you need to do, and he can help you.
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honesty is the best policy
if he can accept u the wish u luck . if dun then so be it
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Originally posted by gunner77:
Please don't change the topic.There is a reason why i ask for the age.
If still young, then i would advise her to focus on studying or making money and there solves her problem for now.
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Originally posted by charlize:
There is a reason why i ask for the age.
If still young, then i would advise her to focus on studying or making money and there solves her problem for now.
If she is 40? -
Originally posted by gunner77:
If she is 40?Then i would say, you are already 40.
So what if you screw up your life?
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Just a couple of comments:
1. If you know you are spoilt and temperamental, why don't you change in the first place? It will take time and lots of effort on your part but it can be done.
2. If you stay spoilt, you are going to have a very hard time in a relationship. Relationships involve a lot of giving and patience.
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Originally posted by allkosong:
Just a couple of comments:
1. If you know you are spoilt and temperamental, why don't you change in the first place? It will take time and lots of effort on your part but it can be done.
2. If you stay spoilt, you are going to have a very hard time in a relationship. Relationships involve a lot of giving and patience.
If everybody was nice and dandy, we would have world peace since the beginning of time.
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I think you should give it a try....
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He likes you. You like him.
But you feel insecure if u enter a rs with him.
Well, there will be some insecurity. But are u exaggerating matters too much?
They haven't happened yet.
You don't even know if those 'bad' things will happen.
I think you should let go of yor previous experience. Because,this time round, it's another guy,not your ex.
You say that u r not fashionable or good looking?
So He likes you for your character. Isn't that good? You wouldn't want someone to dislike you for shallow reasons,like your fashion sense.
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I think you may never know....thinking and pondering won't work...you have to try to truly know what will happen....
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Originally posted by FreakGeek:
My closest guy friend recently confessed that he likes me. He's a really nice guy, almost an ideal bf for me and although I kinda like him back, I'm at a lost of what to do..
I dont think I'll be a good gf (due to my prev rs) thus I feel unworthy of his love for me..I can get very paranoid and I'm a very insecure person. I admit I'm quite spoilt at times and I'm especially temperamental when its the time of the month. I'm neither pretty nor I'm those girls who put on make-up or dress fashionably well and I fear that I'll be more of an embarrassment for him in front of his family and friends. To put it simply, I'm not somebody whom a typical guy will fall for but he is the type of guy that maybe any girl will fall for..
I honestly fear that if we get together, he'll one day realize that I'm just somebody so ordinary/horrible and I'll end up losing him like how I lost my ex whereby we dont even talk to each other anymore, not even as friends. I treasure our friendship so much so I dont know if I should take the risk in bringing this friendship to a whole new level.
Is it even right for me to think this much? Or are my worries totally uncalled for? What will you do in my situation? Just seeking opinions out there, thanks :(
Why is he only "almost" an ideal bf?
He likes you, and you like him too. Then why not go for it?
If you are aware that you are quite spoilt and temperamental at times, its good that you at least have some awareness of your flaws, and should make the effort to make yourself a better person. These flaws of your's can affect not only relationships with future partners, it can also strain your relationships with family and friends too.
Do you always dress up when going out with him? If he's used to you not dressing up for him, then whether you dress up or not doesn't matter.
There are many reason why a guy likes someone. A girl does not need to be special or extraordinary for a guy to like her. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. He must have found something in you that he likes, that he finds special. No need to feel inferior, just because you feel that you are not as pretty as other girls.
If he have the courage to tell you that he likes you, then you becoming his gf will be a source of pride, not embarassment. How you conduct yourself after committing to a relationship is another matter.
Really. Just go for it. Don't let this go by you.
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If one cannot accept what one perceives what one is not - how is it possible to accept another. Many play mind-games and hence the anathematization of love!
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Haiz, you like him or not? Is there another guy who is persuing you ? No?
If you like him, go for it !
He some more confess he likes you. He's all yours. Come on, what are you waiting for?
It is not everyday, that a guy comes to a girl and confesses he likes her. If you don't take this opportunity, it may take another 2 or 3 years before another guy comes. Or worse, no other guy come at all. You already say, you are not the hot type of girl.
Try dating, get to know him better, if you feel he is not the ONE, then call it off. Is that so difficult? Get over your insecurity, life is short. You blink your eyes, you be 40 the next time and be harder to find another guy.
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u have nothing to lose wad.
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if you are worried, go and get another bf right now. Then can tell him you are attached.
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Xmm will always be xmm, always so naive. Do you actually think now that this stage has come, if you reject him, you can actually keep the friendship? He will not be able to live with you. So......take the plunge, come on.
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Originally posted by FreakGeek:
My closest guy friend recently confessed that he likes me. He's a really nice guy, almost an ideal bf for me and although I kinda like him back, I'm at a lost of what to do..
I dont think I'll be a good gf (due to my prev rs) thus I feel unworthy of his love for me..I can get very paranoid and I'm a very insecure person. I admit I'm quite spoilt at times and I'm especially temperamental when its the time of the month. I'm neither pretty nor I'm those girls who put on make-up or dress fashionably well and I fear that I'll be more of an embarrassment for him in front of his family and friends. To put it simply, I'm not somebody whom a typical guy will fall for but he is the type of guy that maybe any girl will fall for..
I honestly fear that if we get together, he'll one day realize that I'm just somebody so ordinary/horrible and I'll end up losing him like how I lost my ex whereby we dont even talk to each other anymore, not even as friends. I treasure our friendship so much so I dont know if I should take the risk in bringing this friendship to a whole new level.
Is it even right for me to think this much? Or are my worries totally uncalled for? What will you do in my situation? Just seeking opinions out there, thanks :(
The conundrum between remaining as friends or progressing further; ultimately it is your call. The ironic fact is that the more reasons we use to justify the existence of a relationship, the less likelihood it would happen. However, I am not advocating for a 'no' - just that we have to decide what is it that we really want and make a choice. Remember this: remaining status quo through inactivity is a choice by itself.
All woman has their own insecurities; in varying degrees some ways or another. I would think that it is natural. However, if you feel that yours are slightly geared outside standard deviation, then you might want to find out the root of this insecurity, what exactly it is and how you would like to deal with them from a personal transformation point of view and not from a relational aspect.
Somehow, your post seemed to suggest that you are not worthy of him; rationally, that is the weakest form of emotional reason/s to justify a 'reject'. Well, if you like something, you just like it. It may not be a big deal to others, but hey, it's your opinion and choice. After all, beauty and love is not structured in a universal format that 'permits' certain exclusive category of people who are capable of being in love and those who are dismissed off this potential. Does not seem to work in that way.
Being in love is a self permitted right; if you decide that you are unworthy, then naturally, in your experience, you have learned that you are unloving and nothing good will ever come out of your love life.
Your belief will end up being a reality.
If having a friend is more important, then you will always find it hard to progress anything further than a bff. Because ultimately, like all things in life, there is always an element of risk. Even the best of relationship has that potential to become something sour. However, if your greatest challenge to proceed further is because you deemed yourself as unloving, then you might want to reflect on how you would want to unlearn this 'lesson' and overwrite it with a positive note.
Once you have self love; your perspective will naturally change.
Cheers -
I think you should treat guys like cars, once used, throw and get a new one, careless about what you are, or who you are, or what fashion or look you got, maybe then, you can have better peice of mind to go for it.
When I my new car, it was so good, so nice and steady, so much security and safety driving it, then once old, here got trouble, there give me problem and so on. Same like guy, starting very good, caring and steady, feel so secure and safety with him, then as the years gone by, it depreciated, problem start to rise, if too much, prepare to change lor.