Totally broken after gf ended 3yr+ r/s.
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I'm 29 now, she's 27.
I was there for her when she broke up with her ex (of 7yrs), 3.5yrs ago. I was there when she decided to change her job, when her favourite pet died, when she got a chronic illness and got depression due to that. I did everything I could to make her feel loved, to be one to solve her problems, to travel via cab when going out because she needs alot of rest, because she gets fatigued easily, leading to more pain. To accompany her even if it meant travelling to and fro, myself often reaching home late.
She struggled with her pain and depression, when nobody seemed to understand what it means to be in her shoes. It is tough on her. I thought I was on the right track or at least was close to it.
She ended the r/s a month ago. Her friends and colleagues and mum and doc took her side. I know I had my failings, failings which to me could be made right given some time. But not to her, someone who thinks alot about things and usually makes negative assumptions on them, as much as I had tried to inject some positivity to her.
I am totally broken now. She has blocked me on social media. She now has her colleagues and friends' support. I don't really have any.
I really don't know what to do. My entire life revolved around her. There's nothing in my life except working, eating and sleeping now. Almost everything that I see and use are related to her in some way.
I NEED HELP. PLEASE HELP.
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so how much money you spend on her i very keen to know.
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Life is a learning process.
True love means you will support the person you truly love without asking anything for return.
She may not love you but I believe in your heart you are glad that you did all the best you could to help her. If I asked you to go back to the past and do it once again, you will do it knowing she will never love you.
I know is hard, I was there too like you once seeing her with others is a like knife to your heart. Asking for an answer on why she never even care about me when I put in so much effort for her.
The answer you seek is to first accept the fact you done what you could to help the girl you love so much and is time to let go. Is not easy, even I took years to let go but I finally did and saw her with her new found partner and her kids, gave me the answer that I seek,
"Letting her go and be free for her to be the one she truly loves and knowing she will be happy for the rest of her life is more important than forcing her to be with someone who she do not really love."
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Originally posted by troublemaker2005:
so how much money you spend on her i very keen to know.
I have no intention to calculate. I have always put her ahead of myself. If certain spending was required, I would spend it - I just spent less on myself(although I was already spending closing to nothing on personal 'wants' due to a need to save for our future. I am not well off.)
She knows it. She is not materialistic and she has been trying to save too, even with her monthly doc fees.
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Be strong, life goes on..there are people out there who really cares for you :) only time can help u ride over this difficult period..
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its like the song 爱错了 by å¼ å…‹å¸†.
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take it as a blessing
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Or listen to this song... a meaningful one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM-GsTZuSwo
终于 - 周��
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Originally posted by risou:
I'm 29 now, she's 27.
I was there for her when she broke up with her ex (of 7yrs), 3.5yrs ago. I was there when she decided to change her job, when her favourite pet died, when she got a chronic illness and got depression due to that. I did everything I could to make her feel loved, to be one to solve her problems, to travel via cab when going out because she needs alot of rest, because she gets fatigued easily, leading to more pain. To accompany her even if it meant travelling to and fro, myself often reaching home late.
She struggled with her pain and depression, when nobody seemed to understand what it means to be in her shoes. It is tough on her. I thought I was on the right track or at least was close to it.
She ended the r/s a month ago. Her friends and colleagues and mum and doc took her side. I know I had my failings, failings which to me could be made right given some time. But not to her, someone who thinks alot about things and usually makes negative assumptions on them, as much as I had tried to inject some positivity to her.
I am totally broken now. She has blocked me on social media. She now has her colleagues and friends' support. I don't really have any.
I really don't know what to do. My entire life revolved around her. There's nothing in my life except working, eating and sleeping now. Almost everything that I see and use are related to her in some way.
I NEED HELP. PLEASE HELP.
You cannot save her. So let her be.
You were fine before you met her. So just go back to living the life you had before.
You gave up your social circle.. go make a new social circle.
Life keeps going forward, if you choose to be held back by the past, then you will be stuck forever in the past.
New relationship will develop, don't let your past hamper your happiness in the future.
Throw away all items that will remind you of her.
Restart your life anew.
Soon this "broken" relationship will, like all past, be only memory.
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Why are you sad?
You selflessly did your best for her. However, to her, her mom and colleagues carry more weight in her mind. Even if they are wrong, she won't listen to you.
If she gets blindly swayed by those around her, she has no brain, backbone or two feet of her own.
You are lucky to be out of this R/s. You can do the world for some people, only for them to forget about gratitude and right and wrong in an instant.
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u should have collected porn movies.
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Originally posted by risou:
I have no intention to calculate. I have always put her ahead of myself. If certain spending was required, I would spend it - I just spent less on myself(although I was already spending closing to nothing on personal 'wants' due to a need to save for our future. I am not well off.)
She knows it. She is not materialistic and she has been trying to save too, even with her monthly doc fees.
again here saving and amount justified to be 'more' or 'less' is subjective here. somepeople spend millions few that it si insignificant, while some people tell them to spend'1 dollar' so can get free gift that is a red herring they also will not spend. so if you do not feel a pinch really that;s is your own problem.do not trust what you see or feel, love is blind and if she feel the same way you do whu seh leave you?
now we need to know why she suddenly leave you? we need to know her side of the story. you feel sad yes, but do you think cum here cry farther and mother and get some comforting words from people you will feel better?
garner pity and i read your post so many loopholes. come one own up we need to know the real truth what happened
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Originally posted by risou:
I'm 29 now, she's 27.
I was there for her when she broke up with her ex (of 7yrs), 3.5yrs ago. I was there when she decided to change her job, when her favourite pet died, when she got a chronic illness and got depression due to that. I did everything I could to make her feel loved, to be one to solve her problems, to travel via cab when going out because she needs alot of rest, because she gets fatigued easily, leading to more pain. To accompany her even if it meant travelling to and fro, myself often reaching home late.
She struggled with her pain and depression, when nobody seemed to understand what it means to be in her shoes. It is tough on her. I thought I was on the right track or at least was close to it.
She ended the r/s a month ago. Her friends and colleagues and mum and doc took her side. I know I had my failings, failings which to me could be made right given some time. But not to her, someone who thinks alot about things and usually makes negative assumptions on them, as much as I had tried to inject some positivity to her.
I am totally broken now. She has blocked me on social media. She now has her colleagues and friends' support. I don't really have any.
I really don't know what to do. My entire life revolved around her. There's nothing in my life except working, eating and sleeping now. Almost everything that I see and use are related to her in some way.
I NEED HELP. PLEASE HELP.
*pat pat*
Where are your close friends and buddies? Confide in them. Talk to them about how you feel.
At this point of time, seek your network of support.
Later, some distance and time will let you heal.
Then, with some introspection maybe you'll learn something from this relationship.
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Originally posted by risou:
I have no intention to calculate. I have always put her ahead of myself. If certain spending was required, I would spend it - I just spent less on myself(although I was already spending closing to nothing on personal 'wants' due to a need to save for our future. I am not well off.)
She knows it. She is not materialistic and she has been trying to save too, even with her monthly doc fees.
Later when you feel better, you'll realize with all that free time, you can focus on yourself. Spend time with family. Give back to community. Develop new hobbies, exercise and eat healthy.
Breaking up with you is her choice, frankly nothing much you can do. Respect her decision. Revisiting it again and again right now is normal. The self blame aspect is alright but don't over indulge. Like fugazzi always say, emotions are like clouds.
Like all things good and bad, they soon shall pass.
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Give urself another 3 or 4 months...u will eventually move on with ur life....just remember parting on good terms is the best....just don't say anything bad about one another...:P
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isn't it fair for guys to dump women like a piece of dirt even though she loved more? So why ask for compensation from guys? its a mindset women must change....and what is virginity, afterall?
now coming back to TS, its just another r/s foregone compiled in the millions of poems since time immemorial.....your predicament is sadly understood, and we all know it takes a real long time to recover and pick it up again...to find your true self back....u dun have to ask the girls to know why this is happening...neither should u give any woman u leave a reason vice versa she cuts u off without explanation....
its girls who said that men dun cry except for boys....but i say, just let it go...u need to keep detach and keep yourself busy....throw all things and stuffs relating to her....u must!
the real help u need is only yourself....and finding the path back again to be your true self...
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Never give all the heart, for love
Will hardly seem worth thinking of
To passionate women if it seem
Certain, and they never dream
That it fades out from kiss to kiss;
For everything that's lovely is
But a brief, dreamy, kind delight.
O never give the heart outright,
For they, for all smooth lips can say,
Have given their hearts up to the play.
And who could play it well enough
If deaf and dumb and blind with love?
He that made this knows all the cost,
For he gave all his heart and lost.William Butler Yeats, Nobel Prize (1923)
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I failed to discuss the details of our future as much as she wanted/expected. I failed to bring her to my parents (yet). I failed to take decisive action in the final rocky 1 month after which she made the decision and stuck to it.
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i do not think its your fault....
but once it is gone, let it go
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only until the heart is dried to its empty shell, then one would see a new beginning...
thats the life cycle .....human hearts are made to reborn
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Life still goes on. Move on dude. Find a new one.
The best revenge is to do better in life than her. No point whining over this bitch.
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All the events in your life are a mirror image of your thoughts
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Do you wanna post her number here?
I believe she's been with too few guys in her "mature" life: just you for these 3.5 years and one other guy from the ages of 16.5 to 23.5. Therefore she does not know a good thing when it's gone. Even if you had married her, girls who have been with too few guys tend to wander about, so perhaps breaking up was a good thing for you.
For you, you might have more experience but it does not hurt to get more. In the end you will still be able to select a more suitable partner.
So, seriously, post her number here and see what we learn from her?