Think My Wife Is Having Affair
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Originally posted by [imdestinyz]:
"A man always seek a more virtuous wife. But is the man virtuous enough for the woman"
A woman always seeks a good husband, is the woman good enough for the husband? Some things works 2 ways. No prior evidence to say that TS needs a ass whoop from his wife. You based your assumption on faults of the TS... why not consider the faults of the wife herself? 2 sides to a coin... if thing were that bad, why do a silent rebel on TS while when things were getting bad, TS tried to get into a talk with her.
It's not like TS went window shopping one day and picked her up from a store in a pet shop, like a puppy dog.
He dated her for THREE years, before he married her leh. Can you please not ignore the details ? Haiz...
Read his postings can ? Things were great only until one year ago.
Something happened lah... you mean the wife suddenly wakes up and decides she wants to cheat on her husband ah ??? All of a sudden she decides she wants to be slutty ? LOL !!!
Please lah.... this is not those corny Mediacorp drama ok... this is real life lah...
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
It's not like TS went window shopping one day and picked her up from a store in a pet shop, like a puppy dog.
He dated her for THREE years, before he married her leh. Can you please not ignore the details ? Haiz...
Read his postings can ? Things were great only until one year ago.
Something happened lah... you mean the wife suddenly wakes up and decides she wants to cheat on her husband ah ??? All of a sudden she decides she wants to be slutty ? LOL !!!
Please lah.... this is not those corny Mediacorp drama ok... this is real life lah...
She's a married woman and should know where to draw the line. If any ah mao ah gao come and woo her, do you thing any married woman will give in? Surely there is some communication issues between the couples.Based on my observation, the new guy colleague is wooing her and coated her with tons of sugary promises. Eventually, she gave bought the guy's story. You know, if she really cherish the marriage, she should properly communicate with TS. If she did tried to communicate with TS about a year ago, then it's TS ommision of information.
There must be something wrong with TS's wife which led to this situation now. Maybe on one ocassion, the wife really did something wrong.... and she is currently being blackmailed by the guy who keep threatening her that she will expose the scandal?
Anyway, enough of the speculation, it will only add to TS's grief.
This is for you bro, take some time to read it.
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wahhhh....................laaaannnnn...............
you fools still talking about this bullcrap of a thread ah ?
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Lion City life is boring so 9 pm drama still draws millions of viewers.
As for the thread starter, he already know his wife character since the day one.
So, he have a better idea of what is going on since he is living with her.
No need to write to forum to seek ideas as all kind of funny ideas will arise.
He just have to decide to move on or carry on wearing the green cap.
Society is so open now that every one can be unfaithful regardless of sex.
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so ts got catch his wife cheating?
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Originally posted by Jiani:
so ts got catch his wife cheating?
yes.Shoo Shoo~
Jiani.. dun come into this thread...
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Originally posted by DailyFreeGames.com:
she will commit suicide. dun wanna talk about it.it's hard to find a girl who loves you alot... i once asked ppl if they can only choose 1... someone whom you love alot but dun really love you vs someone whom loves you very much but you dun love them so much... my choice is the same as the life i'm living right now.
Haha don't care la. Don't waste your time and youth.
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Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
She's a married woman and should know where to draw the line. If any ah mao ah gao come and woo her, do you thing any married woman will give in?...
Glad you brought this up.
Is she also not in the marriage together, is the daugher not her's too?
There is also the issue on the part of the male colleague. Why is he not doing anything to stay out of this troubled marriage. He is not even helping to save the situation. In fact he is compounding it.
TS will only get back his wife, when the male colleague dump her. Looks like this is not going to happen.
He is in it together with the TS wife. The wife has found a new love.
Its only a matter of time, only which party will initiate action first.
Also what sort of action.
What TS needs to do is come to a decision.
A decision is a statement of intent plus the action for it.
Hopefully the action is a legal one.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
It's not like TS went window shopping one day and picked her up from a store in a pet shop, like a puppy dog.
He dated her for THREE years, before he married her leh. Can you please not ignore the details ? Haiz...
Read his postings can ? Things were great only until one year ago.
Something happened lah... you mean the wife suddenly wakes up and decides she wants to cheat on her husband ah ??? All of a sudden she decides she wants to be slutty ? LOL !!!
Please lah.... this is not those corny Mediacorp drama ok... this is real life lah...
Real life-->Women are slutty.
How much ever a feminist tries to justify it, does not make it even.
@OP: Dude move on.
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Has it ever occurred that behind the veil of roles and ... both TS and his spouse have got this thing going on - tacit war of attrition! I m merely assuming but it feels so. No one for sure knows (me not excluded) that categorically if TS spouse is having an affair - ti could be anything and that anything can ONLY be resolved if the both communicate. It seems not to be happening n moreover, irrefutably is that TS stance belies fear! As to what his fears are no one can for sure put a finger on it - only he knows and only being self-honest (not to be confused with honesty) will he come to realise and if possible articulate it to his spouse (if need be) and move on or take measures to unravel the mystery of his spouse's ....
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i gather a fuzzy smell of feministic veil of ignorance on TS situation instead...
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This kind of women should DIE!!
fk them!Got family already still go out jiak~ fk them deep deep~
slut, whore, idiots, stupiak TTM!
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Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
This kind of women should DIE!!
fk them!Got family already still go out jiak~ fk them deep deep~
slut, whore, idiots, stupiak TTM!
If it's your wife,awww. That's why I insist on pre-nup and other legal cover for all guys. -
Again, please do not blame it on us gals, affair takes 2 to clap, you got to blame the guy, who are mostly married too, if he can think well, then he would not had started an affair with a married woman, knowing that it will destroy her family and hurt the childrens in some way.
But frankly, to tell all of you, affair is actually very fun, it keeps both male and female going, secretive is exciting and privacy is longing. He who betrayed his wife and end up with other people wife is perhap something new and nice, and with today wifes spending more time in office than in home, they are expose to more men, men who are much caring, much higher is social status, much richer, much nice looking or perhap better sex than their husband, there is nothing much to loose. And when both go into affair cheating their spouses, it makes it more loving as both are on a common cause
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i had a talk with my wife last night. It was not a pleasant talk. After i persistently asked, she finally admitted she is having affair with her colleague and it involves sex. She told me she fell in love with that guy not long after he started wooing her several months ago. He's single and 2 years younger than her. He's also her manager in the company.
I asked her why she do this and what i have done wrong to make her do this. She just said sorry to me and that it wasn't my fault. It's just that she had fallen deeply in love with that guy and willing to give up everything just to be with him. She cried too.
I was extremely sad. I was crushed. The whole world seems to be tumbling down on me. I told her then that divorce is the only way as she doesn't love me anymore and chose to be with that guy instead. She said she will agree to the divorce if i really want it but she still wants our daughter.
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haiz.... if you want to have some beer, maybe we can drink together some day
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
i had a talk with my wife last night. It was not a pleasant talk. After i persistently asked, she finally admitted she is having affair with her colleague and it involves sex. She told me she fell in love with that guy not long after he started wooing her several months ago. He's single and 2 years younger than her. He's also her manager in the company.
I asked her why she do this and what i have done wrong to make her do this. She just said sorry to me and that it wasn't my fault. It's just that she had fallen deeply in love with that guy and willing to give up everything just to be with him. She cried too.
I was extremely sad. I was crushed. The whole world seems to be tumbling down on me. I told her then that divorce is the only way as she doesn't love me anymore and chose to be with that guy instead. She said she will agree to the divorce if i really want it but she still wants our daughter.
It must be devastating to have the whole truth thrown into your face. Though having a HTHT was indeed effective in reducing your suspicion to a conclusion, but still, it must be absolutely heartbreaking and painful when the blow was delivered.
The presence of a third party is concrete; though surely there would be a combination of both push & pull factor/s that helped to generate this unfortunate outcome, I must say that nobody is absolutely the cause. Also, when she appears to be certain that she wants to be with the other man, your stated option was helpless acquiescence. I feel you: having to let your wife go when you discovered that this love wasn't as genuine, almost like false gold with strips of the imitation material flaking out loosely like some cheap goods.
The practical component of the divorce will flow in much later; when you move into proceeding, custody and the affidavit of assets and means. However, that does not always make us feel better emotionally. Right now, I hope you could gather some good friends to share with them about your situation so that you have somebody around you for support at least. Or if you feel that you would like individual counselling to sort yourself out, you could PM me and I could direct (refer) you to the necessary resources. (Don't worry it wouldn't be me and I do not need to know your identity at all).
Please take good care of yourself.
Cheers -
I am glad that TS have the courage to clear it out with his wife.
For this situation, if TS divorced his wife, it is the end for her as the lover may not be seriously considering about marriage and having a daughter.
I can see that the wife have seriously fallen in love with the guy but I am not sure whether the guy feel the same for her to make the huge leap.
So, there may be a situation that the wife may end up going back to him and beg for his forgiveness.
Sound like drama but it is real life.
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very sorry to hear that TS... am hoping you cld find some friends to chat with and take things well... Well at the very least, suspicions are all over. Hopefully you are able to cope well... as for your daughter, custody fights are going to make things so ugly for her. Poor girl. All the best to u TS.
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There is no point in waxing lyrical with analysis and what could have been or what should have been or ... utter waste of time and energy. Sensible thing is to accept what is NOT and reconcile to that which is unacceptable and move on from now. Circumstances do not create a person - it reveals what one is all about - ur spouse revealed what she is all about- that is unimportant, what is essential is that u are finding out about what u really are. PS - As an aside, when one falls in love - one never loves another - one likes the appreciation that one gets from another and when one factors in these - conceptualized models of what ... is being carried in one's head and it is unconsciously projected outside to ... n when the supposedly ''right' one appears it is erroneously interpreted as love. One has to not exclude this also - needs n expectations manifest as attachement and yet again confused for love. It will all crumble like a house of cards.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
There is no point in waxing lyrical with analysis and what could have been or what should have been or … utter waste of time and energy.
Sensible thing is to accept what is NOT and reconcile to that which is unacceptable and move on from now. Circumstances do not create a person – it reveals what one is all about – ur spouse revealed what she is all about- that is unimportant, what is essential is that u are finding out about what u really are.PS – As an aside, when one falls in love – one never loves another – one likes the appreciation that one gets from another and when one factors in these – conceptualized models of what … is being carried in one’s head and it is unconsciously projected outside to … n when the supposedly ’’right’ one appears it is erroneously interpreted as love. One has to not exclude this also – needs n expectations manifest as attachement and yet again confused for love.
It will all crumble like a house of cards.ur 2nd paragraph... do you mind making it more laymen? so that normal beings like me can understand?
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Simply put, one has an idea of what love is and what it should be & add other conditionings from tv, society, parents, friends --- slowlsy it becomes a mental image in one's mind - it is carried within. The mental image of love or ... is superimposed on ....and the moment that image in one's mind concurs with eg, of what a tall person, of what a sharp nose, or ... what a man/woman ... should be n is found in another person - the phenomenon of falling in love happens! It is not reality but a fiction and hence the falling out or the end of this ''love'' cos one was actually living a fiction all along
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
i had a talk with my wife last night. It was not a pleasant talk. After i persistently asked, she finally admitted she is having affair with her colleague and it involves sex. She told me she fell in love with that guy not long after he started wooing her several months ago. He's single and 2 years younger than her. He's also her manager in the company.
I asked her why she do this and what i have done wrong to make her do this. She just said sorry to me and that it wasn't my fault. It's just that she had fallen deeply in love with that guy and willing to give up everything just to be with him. She cried too.
I was extremely sad. I was crushed. The whole world seems to be tumbling down on me. I told her then that divorce is the only way as she doesn't love me anymore and chose to be with that guy instead. She said she will agree to the divorce if i really want it but she still wants our daughter.
Just wondering what the law in Singapore regarding child custody is in this case... if it is the wife who cheated, does she still get custody of the child in a divorce? Is there a rule of thumb?
Anyways, Jlsky70, you are not alone, such things have happened to 100000000 other men and women everywhere in the world. Whatever decision you make, have courage.
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Sort out the necessary arrangements with your wife and move on.
Maybe you will find a better partner in future.
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
i had a talk with my wife last night. It was not a pleasant talk. After i persistently asked, she finally admitted she is having affair with her colleague and it involves sex. She told me she fell in love with that guy not long after he started wooing her several months ago. He's single and 2 years younger than her. He's also her manager in the company.
I asked her why she do this and what i have done wrong to make her do this. She just said sorry to me and that it wasn't my fault. It's just that she had fallen deeply in love with that guy and willing to give up everything just to be with him. She cried too.
I was extremely sad. I was crushed. The whole world seems to be tumbling down on me. I told her then that divorce is the only way as she doesn't love me anymore and chose to be with that guy instead. She said she will agree to the divorce if i really want it but she still wants our daughter.
As expected.
That man is able to fullfill her need to be desired.
All women wants to feel desired by a man. To be wanted is the real orgasm.
When he woos her, she feels the high of being wanted. Of being woman.
Nothing new really. It could be any guy , it could be you too.
Now ask yourself, what is it you want after her confession.
Do you still love her ? Do you still see the possibility of growing old with her ?
You can let it all go to the rubbish dump, or you can try to see if the marriage is salvageable. Since it's easier now that you know what to do to fix it.
Bring her down to reality.
Leave the country for a while, let her take care of your daughter for an extended period of time. Let her know what life is like to be on her own without you.
She must understand that having a new relationship with a child is not as simple as she think it is.
That man might have to rethink the situation when faced with reality , living with a woman with a kid not his own.
Right now, you are being too available for her (and him) .. a convenience. So disappear for a while so that reality can set in for her.
If you have to, move into your parents' home after you come back from overseas. Tell her you need some space and time to settle your feelings and think about a future without her.
When you are away, remind her that you still love her, still wants to retire with her. Still appreciate her as a partner and mother of your child. Make her feel wanted again.
Your wife is now still high from the attention given by that guy. That high will eventually fade... perhaps she will realise how good she had it with you. ( if it is any good at all)
Rushing into a divorce may end up with a lifetime of regrets like many of my divorced friends (male and female). When they realised the pasture is not exactly greener on the other side.