Think My Wife Is Having Affair
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think hard on how to take care of the kid n let her go
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
Believe me, i tried.
On our anniversary and her birthday this year, i booked for dinner at restaurants at MBS and Orchard respectively. On both occasions she didn't turn up, i waited for more than 1 hrs and in the end she told me she couldn't make it as she has to finish her work. By the time i went to bed around 1-2am, she was not even home yet.
On my birthday this year which fell on a saturday, we were supposed to be celebrating at home. I had collected my birthday cake that we booked the day before. She came home late and went out barely half an hour later after singing the birthday songs with our daugther. I saw her left in her colleague's car waiting downstairs. She came home around 4am that night.
I've suggested we go for family tour together a few times. Each time she told me she's busy. This year she has gone for tour without me once and gone for working trips 6 times to places like Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Hong Kong and Shanghai.
You need not heed our gun-toting feminist's allegations.
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
Believe me, i tried.
On our anniversary and her birthday this year, i booked for dinner at restaurants at MBS and Orchard respectively. On both occasions she didn't turn up, i waited for more than 1 hrs and in the end she told me she couldn't make it as she has to finish her work. By the time i went to bed around 1-2am, she was not even home yet.
On my birthday this year which fell on a saturday, we were supposed to be celebrating at home. I had collected my birthday cake that we booked the day before. She came home late and went out barely half an hour later after singing the birthday songs with our daugther. I saw her left in her colleague's car waiting downstairs. She came home around 4am that night.
I've suggested we go for family tour together a few times. Each time she told me she's busy. This year she has gone for tour without me once and gone for working trips 6 times to places like Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Hong Kong and Shanghai.
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i called her last night asking her wat time is her flight home. She told me she doesn't know!! How can she doesn't know wat time is her flight? She just didn't want me to know.
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Ask for flight number....
then check it .....
http://www.changiairport.com/flight-info/flight-status/passenger-arrivals
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i wanted to go to the airport to see it for myself who she has gone to Penang with
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
i wanted to go to the airport to see it for myself who she has gone to Penang with
remember to bring along 2 parangs............................
get revenge for wearing the big green hat...................
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How many flights are there from Penang on that day?
Anyway, if you see her with someone, will you confront her or covertly snap some photos?
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let the 2 parangs do all the talking lah.....................
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yo TS
if I use a TU LANess indicator
wat will be yr tulaness on the issue from 1 ~ 10?
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i tink alot has been said and what TS needs to do now is to seriously do sth about the marriage. Whatever choice TS makes, it will require both parties to talk, evaluate what went wrong, and based on whatever damage that has been done, can both parties still attempt to revive their feelings for each other. It takes alot of effort and courage with tactfulness... good luck TS.
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its good to go through marriage counselling...early detection would hope to overcome the worst scenarios for the couple....
but else said, divorce laws in singapore has always been favourable to women...and that fear to commit into the easily foreseeable liability has cost our nation its future generations as well as the foreign influx situation leading to social angst ...
tax incentives could only temporarily cushioned that fear a little with every annoucements but it is not a long term solution...
Equal Gender Charter is the first step forward towards sustainability....
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
Believe me, i tried.
On our anniversary and her birthday this year, i booked for dinner at restaurants at MBS and Orchard respectively. On both occasions she didn't turn up, i waited for more than 1 hrs and in the end she told me she couldn't make it as she has to finish her work. By the time i went to bed around 1-2am, she was not even home yet.
On my birthday this year which fell on a saturday, we were supposed to be celebrating at home. I had collected my birthday cake that we booked the day before. She came home late and went out barely half an hour later after singing the birthday songs with our daugther. I saw her left in her colleague's car waiting downstairs. She came home around 4am that night.
I've suggested we go for family tour together a few times. Each time she told me she's busy. This year she has gone for tour without me once and gone for working trips 6 times to places like Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Hong Kong and Shanghai.
This year ? What happened from the day you got into her panties and made her pregnant ?
Surely there was once passion between you two, else your daughter cannot exist. Along the way, someone stopped caring.
In any sinking relationship, there comes a point of no return. The defining moment when one partner decides enough is enough of this "rubbish/abuse/neglect". Then the heart shuts down, his/her back turned.
Your wife must have crossed this threshold a while ago.
To divorce is only legitimising the existing situation. A paper procedure, nothing more.
What is your driving force in staying other than for the sake of your daughter ? Is it GUILT ?
What is it you want ?
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
i called her last night asking her wat time is her flight home. She told me she doesn't know!! How can she doesn't know wat time is her flight? She just didn't want me to know.
She is making you pay for the past. Punishing you for the years of resentment within her.
Persist in your chase.
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Originally posted by alize:
You need not heed our gun-toting feminist's allegations.
You don't treat your wife well.. one day she will also run away. Ok ? Good.
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Originally posted by alize:
How many flights are there from Penang on that day?
Anyway, if you see her with someone, will you confront her or covertly snap some photos?
she came back with a Malaysian Airlines flight, reaching Changi Airport around 8.35pm. I went there and saw her walking out of the arrival hall with that male colleague. I went up to her and told her i went to take her home. But she asked me to go back first saying she wanted to go get a drink, and walked away with him. It's 3.20am now and she's not home yet.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
This year ? What happened from the day you got into her panties and made her pregnant ?
Surely there was once passion between you two, else your daughter cannot exist. Along the way, someone stopped caring.
In any sinking relationship, there comes a point of no return. The defining moment when one partner decides enough is enough of this "rubbish/abuse/neglect". Then the heart shuts down, his/her back turned.
Your wife must have crossed this threshold a while ago.
To divorce is only legitimising the existing situation. A paper procedure, nothing more.
What is your driving force in staying other than for the sake of your daughter ? Is it GUILT ?
What is it you want ?
i'm not so sure what make you think that i had neglected her and resented her in the past. It's not only this year that i tried to do my part to keep this marriage.
Our 1st 2 years of marriage was wonderfull. We brought up our daugther together. We both played our parts as parents to take care of our daugther. She took 1 year off from work after the birth of our daughter. I woke up at nights to feed our baby.The 1st year was tough but it was also fun and rewarding. As my parents helps to take care of our daughter, we still have quite a lot of time to ourselves. During our 2nd year of marriage, which was last year, we managed to go for tour together, just the 2 of us, 3 times alltogether, to Japan, Hawaii and Australia. We had great times. I don't earn much, but last year i still got her a LV bag for our anniversary and a Tag Huer watch for her birthday. This year Prada bag for her birthday and Jimmy Choo shoe for our anniversary. Last year we went for movies together at least 8-9 times, strolling on the beach together many times and attended Zouk Out and Xmas parties together.
Things started to changed gradually when she started work with this new company early this year. At first she even brought me to attend her company functions or outings. That's how i get to know many of her colleagues including that guy who i now suspect is having affair with her now. For the last few months, things got increasingly worse. She comes home later and later and spends more and more weekends not at home. Now she doesn't want to go out with me even when i asked her.
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
she came back with a Malaysian Airlines flight, reaching Changi Airport around 8.35pm. I went there and saw her walking out of the arrival hall with that male colleague. I went up to her and told her i went to take her home. But she asked me to go back first saying she wanted to go get a drink, and walked away with him. It's 3.20am now and she's not home yet.
She wants a drink ? You can buy her one. Heck, you can offer to buy her colleague a drink too.
Be in control of the situation.
What I am saying is. You need to be more assertive.
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I'm jobless now. If you can hire me to do some spying work, I will be glad to help you. I can help you do a preliminary assessment and report back to you for a small fee for my survival.
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Originally posted by Jlsky70:
i'm not so sure what make you think that i had neglected her and resented her in the past. It's not only this year that i tried to do my part to keep this marriage.
Our 1st 2 years of marriage was wonderfull. We brought up our daugther together. We both played our parts as parents to take care of our daugther. She took 1 year off from work after the birth of our daughter. I woke up at nights to feed our baby.The 1st year was tough but it was also fun and rewarding. As my parents helps to take care of our daughter, we still have quite a lot of time to ourselves. During our 2nd year of marriage, which was last year, we managed to go for tour together, just the 2 of us, 3 times alltogether, to Japan, Hawaii and Australia. We had great times. I don't earn much, but last year i still got her a LV bag for our anniversary and a Tag Huer watch for her birthday. This year Prada bag for her birthday and Jimmy Choo shoe for our anniversary. Last year we went for movies together at least 8-9 times, strolling on the beach together many times and attended Zouk Out and Xmas parties together.
Things started to changed gradually when she started work with this new company early this year. At first she even brought me to attend her company functions or outings. That's how i get to know many of her colleagues including that guy who i now suspect is having affair with her now. For the last few months, things got increasingly worse. She comes home later and later and spends more and more weekends not at home. Now she doesn't want to go out with me even when i asked her.
Something is missing your marriage that is making this guy more attractive than you.
Where there some unresolved issues ?
Problems in your marriage? Financial, in-laws, bad habits you have disregarded/dismissed even after her repeated naggings ?
She's not content about something in the marriage...do you know what it is ?
If you do, you need to address it honestly.
You can chase her down, seduce her with all your might..but
In your wife's head..she will be asking " So what if I come back to my husband.. what's going to be different ? Will he change for the better ? " , " Why would I want to give up what I have now with this new guy, just to go back to something that's been crappy anyway ?".
You need to give her a good reason to come back.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
One feeling lonely has nothiing whatsoever to with marriage or relationship. It has to do with one wanting another to fulfil, one expecting another to live your life for u.
It is nigh impossible and it is utterly stupid to think so.Marriage promises made on a particular time or day, with the passage of time loses its meaning cos it simply is a fiction. The reality is that two persons evolve or regress.
Marriages are not wrong, what is wrong is to try to find oneself in the marriage or try to exploit the other (or exploiting each other) and sooner there is nothing to exploit anymore.
When one marries for financial security or social status – one would feel fulfilled but one has to understand that once fulfilled the marriage is no longer relevant. Marriage was a means to one’s ends – once the ends are met, what more can one expect…Loneliness is a state of mind where one does not like oneself and does not like what he/she is faced with. In other words, one has a preconceived notions of what for eg, marriage should be or not be, love should be or ... expand on it and one would realise it is simply incongruent to reality.
Playing mind-games and rationalizing is cowardice. It is avoiding issues within oneself that were never reconciled.
With regards to TS’s predicament – one has so far only heard one side to the melodrama, what about the spouse’’s … It is so very easy to foist one’s assumption, hypothesis and conclude. It is folly think that one has to a ’’good’’ spouse – there is no such thing – it is a fiction and hence the disappointment and misery.
Like I mentioned before, TS has to be self-honest and as to whether the spouse understands, reacts, responds or ignores – there must a be ’’reason’’ and only TS can make himself available to ….
If truly, one is to be self-fulfilled. Then what is the purpose of marriage and of monogamy ?
Is it then better to live the lifestyle of our ancient ancestors, when male and females are free to sleep with whomever they so choose for the night ? When fidelity was an alien concept ?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Something is missing your marriage that is making this guy more attractive than you.
Where there some unresolved issues ?
Problems in your marriage? Financial, in-laws, bad habits you have disregarded/dismissed even after her repeated naggings ?
She's not content about something in the marriage...do you know what it is ?
If you do, you need to address it honestly.
You can chase her down, seduce her with all your might..but
In your wife's head..she will be asking " So what if I come back to my husband.. what's going to be different ? Will he change for the better ? " , " Why would I want to give up what I have now with this new guy, just to go back to something that's been crappy anyway ?".
You need to give her a good reason to come back.
Dude don't waste ur time listening to the feminist things. She is cheating on you,screwing with another guy infront of your eyes.Be a man, bang some chicks, get a PI for proof, file for divorce and enjoy life.
And go on with this life.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
She wants a drink ? You can buy her one. Heck, you can offer to buy her colleague a drink too.
Be in control of the situation.
What I am saying is. You need to be more assertive.
i did tell her i can buy her and that guy drinks, told her repeatedly. She kept on saying no need and insisted that i go back 1st. I refused at first and continue to walk wth them to the carpark. I left after she chose to just ignore me and drove away.
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Ts, U can bring her anywhere, buy all the things that u THINK (it is merely an assumption on your part). If your spouse was keen on stayin on - she would still communicate (affair or no affair) and try and resolve matters that may enhance the experience of a family. Is that happening? Does this not tell u where your marriage stands now? From your postings, it is pretty obvious that (honest explicit communication bet the both of u) has not been transpiring and for some reasons (best known to u) u seem to be waiting and waiting - only u know what u are wating for. Your stance belies fear and fear of what - i dont know.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
TS,
U can play the old record over and over again, man – the reality is that u suspect and whether u act or not act – matters will never be resolved until both of u are willing to decide what is necessary to …
Stop trying and be and do what is necessary that may free u of this melodrama!
Ur stance is of holding onto cancelled cheques and validating it , yes, only in your mind. Reality is it is no longer valid. Beware of the pitfalls of mind-games.Originally posted by Jlsky70:she came back with a Malaysian Airlines flight, reaching Changi Airport around 8.35pm. I went there and saw her walking out of the arrival hall with that male colleague. I went up to her and told her i went to take her home. But she asked me to go back first saying she wanted to go get a drink, and walked away with him. It's 3.20am now and she's not home yet.
A wife shouldn't humiliate her husband in public.
If she does, that man is no longer her husband.
Get it.
Don't get the parangs, Don't go to Bedok Reservoir.
Get a lawyer.