Married life changed
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Some here have offered suggestions, advice and of course, shared expereinces of their own. To me, there is no ''solution'' till self-honesty intuits and is communicated or expressed to each other. Otherwise, a compromise of any sort without reconciling to one's own pychological hangups or emotional stasis is something that would not go away. Like I mentioned in my preivous posting here, the so-called sex 'problem'' is an excuse for what is transpiring now. What has been latent has surfaced and it is anybody's guess and to impose or hoist onto them what one feels ought to be or should be is unwise. All relationships look the same, all marriages look the same. It is merely on the surface! One has to grapple and juggle that which has been reduced to a thing (rel;ationship/marriage) and be cognizant to the reality of two human beings who are not entities but either regressing or growing. Whatever it is there is no rite/wrong but the understanding and acknowledgement of each''s uniqueness, each's individuality makes all the difference. One has to understand that behind each persona there are lots of prejudices, bigotry, fears anxieties that dominoes one's being. That cannot be ignored and if it is unknown or denied/unacknowledged it is part of one's daily psyychological/emotional terrain and understanding makes living easier. It is not necessarily in a relationship,marriage but awash every moment as long as one meets another person. Ps - A baby is born and it not here for the parents nor for anyone but to be himself/herself and very sadly that is not what is happening. Parents attachment to the child is so unhealthy ane worse still misconstrued/interpreted as love.
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whatever the case, women are such materialistic creatures esp. singaporean types....which they are very hideous about it...unlike foreign gals who are more forthright about it....
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Originally posted by alize:
How did you get sidetracked into talking about virgin brides? Firstly nobody here nor there was talking about it.
Secondly we men don't wait until after ROM to deflower our bride. We find out first about sexual compatibility.
Looking at all your posts in Sgforums, I would think you are a female chauvinist pig, or a militant butch, swinging an AK-47 in place of a penis, yelling "men are evil!" and shooting at all men in your way.
Where a marriage is happy you are jealous, where it is unhappy you blame the man.
So you just post that Sammy link without even reading through it ? How irresponsible !
You can call me whatever you want.. doing so does not make you a better person than me. But if you need to feel better about your self.. be my guest.
So then tell me...in your opinion, what are/is the marital duty/duties of a man to his wife ? If a man is unable to fulfill his duty/duties.. is that valid reason to boot him out ?
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Originally posted by Fcukpap:
whatever the case, women are such materialistic creatures esp. singaporean types....which they are very hideous about it...unlike foreign gals who are more forthright about it....
Then please.. go and get yourself a foreign wife.. if they want you.
No need to come here and keep pimping them.. to us women.. they are all women. No matter where they come from.. they have needs and wants like any woman.
As long as men like you don't treat them worst than Sg women.. we shall all be grateful.
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Originally posted by Fcukpap:
whatever the case, women are such materialistic creatures esp. singaporean types....which they are very hideous about it...unlike foreign gals who are more forthright about it....
Finally a pearl of wisdom. -
Originally posted by Husbandless:
After that day, my wife felt really sorry to me and she was good to me after that day.
We spend our time going out with our boy and we went to eat seafood platter together.
I am glad that beside my boy, she still have me in mind. Really thank you guys for sharing your advice here and thank you.
I have a feeling your wife married a very young man.
I hope that sorry feeling she felt for you.. was not after you regressed into child-like behavior.
You are the father of her child.. and the man who promised to be with her and take care of her for life .. of cors she will always have you in her mind.
But do yourself a favor.. if you want her to treat/respect you like a man.. and make love to you like a man.. you need to behave like an ADULT man.
While chid-like behavior will get you SOME motherly love from her, (seeing how your baby gets all her attention just by being a baby)....... she won't be able to have enjoyable sex with you.. because the thought of having sex with a child is repulsive to a mother....
In due time.. she will tire of a man-child for a husband and will yearn for more manly affection from elsewhere.
While you are enjoying her apologise.. I hope you in turn gave her more recognition and support as a husband and father of your child.
Receiving pity sex is no fun.. neither is giving sex out of obligation.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
I have a feeling your wife married a very young man.
I hope that sorry feeling she felt for you.. was not after you regressed into child-like behavior.
You are the father of her child.. and the man who promised to be with her and take care of her for life .. of cors she will always have you in her mind.
But do yourself a favor.. if you want her to treat/respect you like a man.. and make love to you like a man.. you need to behave like an ADULT man.
While chid-like behavior will get you SOME motherly love from her, (seeing how your baby gets all her attention just by being a baby)....... she won't be able to have enjoyable sex with you.. because the thought of having sex with a child is repulsive to a mother....
In due time.. she will tire of a man-child for a husband and will yearn for more manly affection from elsewhere.
While you are enjoying her apologise.. I hope you in turn gave her more recognition and support as a husband and father of your child.
Receiving pity sex is no fun.. neither is giving sex out of obligation.
TS has already came out to say that the r/s b/w him and his wife is already improving. Probably can save the word-lash on him already.
TS had not and did not mentioned about how old he is and his wife whether they are young or not. Young and old in age is regardless of "young and old" in r/s. Ts is just probably new to marriage life. In comparison to 20-30yrs, 3 years is still considered young.
TS did behave with the lack of understanding of his wife but that is not and neither a childish display or a childish act. He, is merely some1 who has yet to be accustomed to a new phase of life. Please do not pass judgement on him casually. By openly seeking advice instead of doing other more stupid things, he has already displayed a certain sense of maturity. Incessant scolding and passing of judgement unnecessaryily is not a display of helpfulness, understanding and maturity.
Whatever that has happened b/w TS and his wife, which seems to be doing better now, is solely b/w the 2 of them. If we are really keen to help, what he needs is objective advice but not something to put him down to a "non adult" "kid level"
If in due time as you've said that the wife gets bored of him or feels repulsive due to his "child-man" act, it would also imply that in due time whoever thats close to you will also feel repulsive by an incessant word lash dealt by you on whatever issues raised upon whereby a word-lash seems to be your hobby.
Helpful advice is best given and displayed with objectiveness and not judgemental. For TS, hopefully you've learnt something and always remember to love your wife for whatever she's done for you, and that little gift of god she's brought for you.
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Originally posted by [imdestinyz]:
TS has already came out to say that the r/s b/w him and his wife is already improving. Probably can save the word-lash on him already.
TS had not and did not mentioned about how old he is and his wife whether they are young or not. Young and old in age is regardless of "young and old" in r/s. Ts is just probably new to marriage life. In comparison to 20-30yrs, 3 years is still considered young.
TS did behave with the lack of understanding of his wife but that is not and neither a childish display or a childish act. He, is merely some1 who has yet to be accustomed to a new phase of life. Please do not pass judgement on him casually. By openly seeking advice instead of doing other more stupid things, he has already displayed a certain sense of maturity. Incessant scolding and passing of judgement unnecessaryily is not a display of helpfulness, understanding and maturity.
Whatever that has happened b/w TS and his wife, which seems to be doing better now, is solely b/w the 2 of them. If we are really keen to help, what he needs is objective advice but not something to put him down to a "non adult" "kid level"
If in due time as you've said that the wife gets bored of him or feels repulsive due to his "child-man" act, it would also imply that in due time whoever thats close to you will also feel repulsive by an incessant word lash dealt by you on whatever issues raised upon whereby a word-lash seems to be your hobby.
Helpful advice is best given and displayed with objectiveness and not judgemental. For TS, hopefully you've learnt something and always remember to love your wife for whatever she's done for you, and that little gift of god she's brought for you.
Why are you getting all defensive ?
If TS indeed is not behaving in a childish manner.. that's great.. but if he is... be glad someone came out and warn him of consequences.
Prevention is better than damage control.
Would you rather he gets his ass whopped first.. then come here for more advise later ?
When seeking advise.. listen to ALL sides and all angle.. then pick and choose what is most relevant.
Act on solutions.. and be aware of pitfalls.
So please.. you don't need to lecture me or tell me to shut it.
I'd rather the warning signs be posted in plain sight and way ahead of that cliff ..than to take a nasty plunge because some people think warning signs are too unsightly, so they obsure it or not post it.
OK ? Good.
Add: Frankly.. a lot of women complained they have N small children and 1 big child ( their husbands) to care for.. so that sums up lots about how men tend to regress into a childish fit just to get attention from their wives...you can deny it.. claim I am lying/exaggerating.. it's up to you.. I've heard plenty.. so don't bother telling me it ain't true.
Of cors the most common complain from the men is they feel their wives don't respect them anymore... well.. DUH~ .. if only they knew how that happened ... yes ?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Why are you getting all defensive ?
If TS indeed is not behaving in a childish manner.. that's great.. but if he is... be glad someone came out and warn him of consequences.
Prevention is better than damage control.
Would you rather he gets his ass whopped first.. then come here for more advise later ?
When seeking advise.. listen to ALL sides and all angle.. then pick and choose what is most relevant.
Act on solutions.. and be aware of pitfalls.
So please.. you don't need to lecture me or tell me to shut it.
I'd rather the warning signs be posted in plain sight and way ahead of that cliff ..than to take a nasty plunge because some people think warning signs are too unsightly, so they obsure it or not post it.
OK ? Good.
Add: Frankly.. a lot of women complained they have N small children and 1 big child ( their husbands) to care for.. so that sums up lots about how men tend to regress into a childish fit just to get attention from their wives...you can deny it.. claim I am lying/exaggerating.. it's up to you.. I've heard plenty.. so don't bother telling me it ain't true.
"If TS indeed is not behaving in a childish manner.. that's great.. but if he is... be glad someone came out and warn him of consequences"
u basically din warned him much... u basically just scolded him with the use of your word. If you do not agree, its find too since im jus pointing out.
"Prevention is better than damage control.
Would you rather he gets his ass whopped first.. then come here for more advise later ?
When seeking advise.. listen to ALL sides and all angle.. then pick and choose what is most relevant."
Yes thats right... he shld listen to all sides and pick and choose whatever is relevant assuming that all sides comes from a relatively objective view rather than purely judgemental.
"Add: Frankly.. a lot of women complained they have N small children and 1 big child ( their husbands) to care for.. so that sums up lots about how men tend to regress into a childish fit just to get attention from their wives...you can deny it.. claim I am lying/exaggerating.. it's up to you.. I've heard plenty.. so don't bother telling me it ain't true"
Alot of woman complained about that? How much is alot? And i believe you came in from a female view point and TS came in from a male viewpoint. While "all" the woman complained about the guys? Stand in view of the guy's viewpoint to see the issue instead. I've tried reasoning out on the female's difficulties. What i've seen are merely word-lashes based on a female's viewpoint without giving ample understanding on what's going on in that guy's mind.
I am not here to pick a fight you. Sick and tired of such stuffs, just wanted to point out that amidst all the word lashes here and there, it doesn't really help to solve anything nor is this in anyway constructive to TS.
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Originally posted by [imdestinyz]:
"If TS indeed is not behaving in a childish manner.. that's great.. but if he is... be glad someone came out and warn him of consequences"
u basically din warned him much... u basically just scolded him with the use of your word. If you do not agree, its find too since im jus pointing out.
"Prevention is better than damage control.
Would you rather he gets his ass whopped first.. then come here for more advise later ?
When seeking advise.. listen to ALL sides and all angle.. then pick and choose what is most relevant."
Yes thats right... he shld listen to all sides and pick and choose whatever is relevant assuming that all sides comes from a relatively objective view rather than purely judgemental.
"Add: Frankly.. a lot of women complained they have N small children and 1 big child ( their husbands) to care for.. so that sums up lots about how men tend to regress into a childish fit just to get attention from their wives...you can deny it.. claim I am lying/exaggerating.. it's up to you.. I've heard plenty.. so don't bother telling me it ain't true"
Alot of woman complained about that? How much is alot? And i believe you came in from a female view point and TS came in from a male viewpoint. While "all" the woman complained about the guys? Stand in view of the guy's viewpoint to see the issue instead. I've tried reasoning out on the female's difficulties. What i've seen are merely word-lashes based on a female's viewpoint without giving ample understanding on what's going on in that guy's mind.
I am not here to pick a fight you. Sick and tired of such stuffs, just wanted to point out that amidst all the word lashes here and there, it doesn't really help to solve anything nor is this in anyway constructive to TS.
TS married a man or a woman ?
He has problem understanding his woman. If you think you can , as a man, provide a wholesome solution.. based on your limited understanding of women.. then go ahead.. he only needs to listen to you.
I concur on most of your advise to TS..but I also disagree on some. Nobody tells you to shut it, yes ?
Now, please tell me you are a certified family counselor/psychologist . And I will gladly shut it.
ADD: While I judge him to be immature.. you judged him to be mature.. is that not also judging ? So, be careful when you point your finger at someone..... you know the rest... ya ?
The secret to a happy relationship and marriage - Think like a woman.. act like a gentleman. OK ? Good.
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Hmmm...good question
"TS married a man or a woman ?",
Well, after some sound consultation with my Uncle Hitman, a specialist in living things relationship including animals and insects" we thing that TS married a He She, meaning a gay. No wonder he had a hard time satisfying and understanding her. On the other hand, TS can be a gay himself, more today the lady sissy type.
In a nutshell, it is very difficult for a woman who act like a man and a man who act like a gal to come together and build a family. And when a man like TS act alike a gal, he tends to behave like a kid, and his wife, who behave like a man, act as the leader of the house, the houseman.
We, Dr Hitman and I therefore conclude that it is a rare example of two kinds of gay coming together, get married and give birth. Interesting....hmmm
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Hmmm...good question
"TS married a man or a woman ?",
Well, after some sound consultation with my Uncle Hitman, a specialist in living things relationship including animals and insects" we thing that TS married a He She, meaning a gay. No wonder he had a hard time satisfying and understanding her. On the other hand, TS can be a gay himself, more today the lady sissy type.
In a nutshell, it is very difficult for a woman who act like a man and a man who act like a gal to come together and build a family. And when a man like TS act alike a gal, he tends to behave like a kid, and his wife, who behave like a man, act as the leader of the house, the houseman.
We, Dr Hitman and I therefore conclude that it is a rare example of two kinds of gay coming together, get married and give birth. Interesting....hmmm
Isn't it "fascinating" how you see men consulting other men about women.. then unanimously declare that they finally figured out the female psyche ?
Or these men seek counsel with their mother/female family members ( because she is a female), disregarding the fact that she is biased to her son's interest or her own ?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Isn't it "fascinating" how you see men consulting other men about women.. then unanimously declare that they finally figured out the female psyche ?
Or these men seek counsel with their mother/female family members ( because she is a female), disregarding the fact that she is biased to her son's interest or her own ?
BS!! As if the females do not have a counselling circle.@OP: Read the book 'The great female con' by Randed.
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Originally posted by Bio-Hawk:
BS!! As if the females do not have a counselling circle.@OP: Read the book 'The great female con' by Randed.
When female get together.. it's gossiping lah. Simi counselling.. we don't even believe hundred percent of each other's story.
Andrey Randead's book is banned. Even Amazon.com don't wanna carry his book.
His misogynistic view is based on females less than 30 years old IN THE USA.
Divorce rate in USA is 50%. So that means a lot of females grew up in households where their fathers are NOT there 50% or more of their growing up life ( depending on divorce agreement). These girls probably has STEP mothers and/or STEP fathers.
Remarrying in the states is so common.. it's like a nation wide adult swing club here.
These girls see how their own father disrespect their mother.. so it's hard to expect impressionable young girls to respect males.Andrey's book is based on his gripe about how females disrespect men in the USA. Given the situation mentioned above.. it's hardly surprising ain't it ?
Now if you so choose to read his book.. remember.. you don't live in the USA. Andrey is an entrepreneur and he makes money off people's fear.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Hmmm...good question
"TS married a man or a woman ?",
Well, after some sound consultation with my Uncle Hitman, a specialist in living things relationship including animals and insects" we thing that TS married a He She, meaning a gay. No wonder he had a hard time satisfying and understanding her. On the other hand, TS can be a gay himself, more today the lady sissy type.
In a nutshell, it is very difficult for a woman who act like a man and a man who act like a gal to come together and build a family. And when a man like TS act alike a gal, he tends to behave like a kid, and his wife, who behave like a man, act as the leader of the house, the houseman.
We, Dr Hitman and I therefore conclude that it is a rare example of two kinds of gay coming together, get married and give birth. Interesting....hmmm
First time heard of a "womam" begging for sex. TS wife is a lucky "man" !
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Hmmm...good question
"TS married a man or a woman ?",
Well, after some sound consultation with my Uncle Hitman, a specialist in living things relationship including animals and insects" we thing that TS married a He She, meaning a gay. No wonder he had a hard time satisfying and understanding her. On the other hand, TS can be a gay himself, more today the lady sissy type.
In a nutshell, it is very difficult for a woman who act like a man and a man who act like a gal to come together and build a family. And when a man like TS act alike a gal, he tends to behave like a kid, and his wife, who behave like a man, act as the leader of the house, the houseman.
We, Dr Hitman and I therefore conclude that it is a rare example of two kinds of gay coming together, get married and give birth. Interesting....hmmm
come on, its as weird as one who wears a strado and anals men
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Originally posted by troublemaker2005:
come on, its as weird as one who wears a strado and anals men
Strange? if the market sells strado, what is there to be strange about? Business people dun make thing out of low demand. And it is not cheap hor? about the same price as a Iphone 4s -
Originally posted by jojobeach:
Isn't it "fascinating" how you see men consulting other men about women.. then unanimously declare that they finally figured out the female psyche ?
Or these men seek counsel with their mother/female family members ( because she is a female), disregarding the fact that she is biased to her son's interest or her own ?
For eons, men have been trying to figure out on female behavorial or psyche, but they fail miserably on each and every attempt. In a fit of frustration, the gay men world is born, more so in today society where women like us are getting more complicated by the days.Genetic transfer can be excusable, but gays nurtured out of parenting and society influences can alway be prevented. Given a $$ demanding society and a single son concept of living, every son is treated like a goddamn God of the family, and with father alway outside making money or busy with golf, meeting and mistress, the care is left only for the mother, the maid, the grandmother and sister.
Since young, every drip of saliva was wiped, every bite by mosquitos was being attended seriously to the extend of seeing a doctor, every cry make was tamed immediately with the blame going toward the father or the maids. All these pampering are the begining of a gay in the making.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Strange? if the market sells strado, what is there to be strange about? Business people dun make thing out of low demand. And it is not cheap hor? about the same price as a Iphone 4sno lah, demand not as high as iphone 4s if not everyone can buy like iphone4s already. some girls go buy banan can already. after that can consume somemore
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But I like the iphone 4s vibrator sensor, solid men!
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there you go again. you must really get married for your life to change instead of dwelling on this type of hobby.
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No two people are the same and with the same needs/wants and thinkings....its important to note that ...must give and take....sometimes u must do things to make your spouse happy....both must understand this....divorce shall be the last on your minds....
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Once you enter marriage life it is difficult to come out . There is a long way to go . In Singapore , there is this woman charter that is protecting the wife and not the husband . Husband will lose out a lot. So in a marriage sometimes its good to close one eye. You got to live with it. Thats life .
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
No two people are the same and with the same needs/wants and thinkings....its important to note that ...must give and take....sometimes u must do things to make your spouse happy....both must understand this....divorce shall be the last on your minds....
true, never is two people the same, in fact, the whole people are different in many ways, from characteristics to whatever, but, born, live, sick, old and died for all, is the same. Once you are able to comprehend and understand the dynamic of the same, you will live more happily -
Originally posted by angel7030:
true, never is two people the same, in fact, the whole people are different in many ways, from characteristics to whatever, but, born, live, sick, old and died for all, is the same. Once you are able to comprehend and understand the dynamic of the same, you will live more happilyVery true ! Hahaha!
Any updates from TS ?