Hi guys, here's the situation. Every morning my maid Jo would get scolded by my mother for one reason or another. Sometimes my mother would mutter insults under her breath, sometimes it's full on shouting. So far, the scoldings have been about stupid things like vegetables or the way the food is cooked.
We don't use salt or sugar at home to cook, or minimal. The worst was when one day she used slightly "too much seasoning and salt" (actually tasted quite good to me, I don't complain anyway), my mother freaked. She said "your parents both got cancer you will cook this kind of thing for them? Poison your parents!" Then she just continued to go on and on and on for the next half hour about Jo's parents. They do have cancer that's why she's here. It's fucking horrible.
The other big situation was mom saying her nieces and nephews (my cousins) saw Jo with her boyfriend and tried to call out to her. They were gossiping amongst themselves wondering if who they saw was male or female. Like typical aunties who gossip about everything. Firstly, my mother's family is full of shit. Secondly, I don't even know if it's true because she likes to create stupid scenarios like this to force people to confess to things they truly never did. As long as she believes something she'll just make you confess. Jo was desperately trying to tell her her boyfriend was in the Philippines, and had no reason to lie.
My maid can only answer yes or no. She had to fight for her off-day, otherwise she'd have none. The previous one had no off day for 7 months and didn't last a year. In fact we've switched 4 or 5 maids in the past 6 months. And mom would only tell the maid to pack up and fuck off on the day they're meant to. I've intervened many times already, and it fucks with my sleep. Then I'm accused of conspiring with the maid. Wtf.
The worst was when she deducts her already minimal salary, like 5 bucks each time she forgets to do something or cooks something wrong. It's fucking ridiculous. Mom says something about her being the "paymaster", or whatever. Yea she's a boss somewhere in a big company. So she probably thinks everybody is her god damn slave because she has money. Basically la.
I need to put a stop to this. But I've read somewhere about the Penal Code and she hasn't quite hit her yet. This has to stop. I don't know what else to do. I know it all sounds quite mild but it's accumulated over the months she's been here. I cannot bring myself to be close to anyone of my maids. Even the one who worked quite some time for us before couldn't tahan and up and left. I'm really going nuts. And when my mom's full of shit family comes over, they just treat Jo like dirt. Because of what my mother says so they act upon the pre-conceived notion that Jo's dumb or whatever my mother makes her out to be.
I don't know how to proceed from here. I desperately need intervention at home.
hmmm......you need to counsel your mom that maid are human beings too. if this continue, I am afraid, touch wood, the maid may do something silly in retaliation. tell your mom maid as human beings with feelings too. as for pay deduction, it is unacceptable. you can inform the maid agency that the maid pay was deducted and they will investigate on this.
seek help from one of your mum's siblings. its easier for them to talk to her.
oh just happened to know you cannot get along with your mom. u can report to the maid agency and tell them you want to remain anonymous. they will take up the issue of pay deduction with your mom, otherwise they will report it to MOM.
There is a lot of problem with Singapore Aunties, I do not understand why they treat their own maid like slave, something is wrong with sg aunties, I treat my maids very well, very week sunday off, work until after dinner can go sleep and morning start at 8, just like working, sat, half day, cos we eat out. Both of them with us for 7 years already. I heard alot of stories about their own countries sisters who are suffering here as maid, and mostly under some nasty sg aunties.
I think all these aunties need to go counselling before getting a maid, make it a pre requisite, if not..omg, can even cut people pay like nobody business. As for TS, you can also secretly compensate back to the maid, and maybe some extra for her suffering, hopefully, she can finish her contract and go home in one piece
Originally posted by angel7030:There is a lot of problem with Singapore Aunties, I do not understand why they treat their own maid like slave, something is wrong with sg aunties, I treat my maids very well, very week sunday off, work until after dinner can go sleep and morning start at 8, just like working, sat, half day, cos we eat out. Both of them with us for 7 years already. I heard alot of stories about their own countries sisters who are suffering here as maid, and mostly under some nasty sg aunties.
I think all these aunties need to go counselling before getting a maid, make it a pre requisite, if not..omg, can even cut people pay like nobody business. As for TS, you can also secretly compensate back to the maid, and maybe some extra for her suffering, hopefully, she can finish her contract and go home in one piece
yes my friends uncle is a loner, stay with her sister family and maid, sometimes buy a chicken rices gave $50 and strange enough, the maid never return the leftover to him. and when off day, both the friends uncle and maid will never be at home.
we all know Y he very nice to the maid.
Originally posted by Rooney9:hmmm......you need to counsel your mom that maid are human beings too. if this continue, I am afraid, touch wood, the maid may do something silly in retaliation. tell your mom maid as human beings with feelings too. as for pay deduction, it is unacceptable. you can inform the maid agency that the maid pay was deducted and they will investigate on this.
this type of woman talking no use.
either report the maid abuse to the
1. agency
2. move out of the house and dont bother about the maid. (most propely a happening case will appear in a few yeas time. example : woman abuse maid and goes jail or maid kill owner due to over abuse.)
3 Wanbao 晚报。let that woman be shame bny her action.
Originally posted by Hwaimeng:
yes my friends uncle is a loner, stay with her sister family and maid, sometimes buy a chicken rices gave $50 and strange enough, the maid never return the leftover to him. and when off day, both the friends uncle and maid will never be at home.we all know Y he very nice to the maid.
ya, most probably end up in our type of motel, use to see Uncles coming with what looks like maid booking room. I take down ic nos, then give soap and towel and room key.
tell ur mom to 收敛
or the maria will be serving her pee and menstrual blood
and maybe rat poison
print out all the "horror stories" from the papers to let her read
and tell her 己所�欲，勿施于人
maria oso 人生父�养的
Originally posted by KonkeyDong:Hi guys, here's the situation. Every morning my maid Jo would get scolded by my mother for one reason or another. Sometimes my mother would mutter insults under her breath, sometimes it's full on shouting. So far, the scoldings have been about stupid things like vegetables or the way the food is cooked.
We don't use salt or sugar at home to cook, or minimal. The worst was when one day she used slightly "too much seasoning and salt" (actually tasted quite good to me, I don't complain anyway), my mother freaked. She said "your parents both got cancer you will cook this kind of thing for them? Poison your parents!" Then she just continued to go on and on and on for the next half hour about Jo's parents. They do have cancer that's why she's here. It's fucking horrible.
The other big situation was mom saying her nieces and nephews (my cousins) saw Jo with her boyfriend and tried to call out to her. They were gossiping amongst themselves wondering if who they saw was male or female. Like typical aunties who gossip about everything. Firstly, my mother's family is full of shit. Secondly, I don't even know if it's true because she likes to create stupid scenarios like this to force people to confess to things they truly never did. As long as she believes something she'll just make you confess. Jo was desperately trying to tell her her boyfriend was in the Philippines, and had no reason to lie.
My maid can only answer yes or no. She had to fight for her off-day, otherwise she'd have none. The previous one had no off day for 7 months and didn't last a year. In fact we've switched 4 or 5 maids in the past 6 months. And mom would only tell the maid to pack up and fuck off on the day they're meant to. I've intervened many times already, and it fucks with my sleep. Then I'm accused of conspiring with the maid. Wtf.
The worst was when she deducts her already minimal salary, like 5 bucks each time she forgets to do something or cooks something wrong. It's fucking ridiculous. Mom says something about her being the "paymaster", or whatever. Yea she's a boss somewhere in a big company. So she probably thinks everybody is her god damn slave because she has money. Basically la.
I need to put a stop to this. But I've read somewhere about the Penal Code and she hasn't quite hit her yet. This has to stop. I don't know what else to do. I know it all sounds quite mild but it's accumulated over the months she's been here. I cannot bring myself to be close to anyone of my maids. Even the one who worked quite some time for us before couldn't tahan and up and left. I'm really going nuts. And when my mom's full of shit family comes over, they just treat Jo like dirt. Because of what my mother says so they act upon the pre-conceived notion that Jo's dumb or whatever my mother makes her out to be.
I don't know how to proceed from here. I desperately need intervention at home.
Feel sorry for you. With or without these maid abuse worries, your own life is hard enough.
TS do you hate your mom, reading from your past threads?
Yer mother is lucky is not Indon maid. Indon maid got fierce temper, sometimes they can go mad and hurt your mom.
Unfortunately there is not Exclusion Order in employing maids.
People like your mum should be excluded from exploying maids before they harm a maid and get themselves into jail or vice versa.
Cal MOM ask them if such a thing can be done.
Mentally unstable workers are not allowed to work here, sure the other way should also be applicable.
Put ur mom in place. If you can't ask your maid to make a complain against abuse and support her.
Least you can do as a good person.
How big is your family.. why is there a need to have a full- time maid ? Arn't everyone in your family adults and capable of doing your own chores ??
Perhaps all these maid abuse saga coulda be aptly avoided if you do your own chores and cook your own food.
If you are not part of the solution.. you're part of the problem.
While your mother uses money as her means of control and manipulation, her tactic becomes useless.. when everyone around her.. become SELF- SUFFICIENT.
Beggars can't be chosers.
Maids can be cunning, they can pretend to be dumb so they can save some work and I tell ya it's very true.
Haven't you seen on youtube how maids abused the employer kids?
Don't be deceived by their pathetic look and don't grudge your mother. 百善å�为先!
Who spend most of the time facing that person who is not a family and come here just for a better salary?
Originally posted by -Rantress-:Maids can be cunning, they can pretend to be dumb so they can save some work and I tell ya it's very true.
Haven't you seen on youtube how maids abused the employer kids?
Don't be deceived by their pathetic look and don't grudge your mother. 百善å�为先!
Who spend most of the time facing that person who is not a family and come here just for a better salary?
Dumb maids goes home.
Dumb parents make their maids cook, clean AND watch their kids.
Most maids are not aware they sold themselves into SLAVERY until they become one.
Contracts may be legal and binding.. but not all are FAIR for both parties.
Not all parents are deserving of pilial piety. Only GOOD parents are deserving of it.
OK ? Good.
Originally posted by Casopia-maplesea:Typical SE-Asian behaviour. Sooner or later Indonesia also gonna ban maid exports(note the fact the Indo govt themselves treat their own ppl as a COMMODITY. PATHETIC.) to Singapore as well. the govt here should punish these good-for-nothing abuser-losers more severely. bash a maid to a pulp and get a few mths jails. bash a fellow singaporean to a pulp and get years behind bars plus caning. i mean, srsly? even the maid ‘murder’ cases. LOOK deeper. ALL of these murder cases stem from ABUSE. who’s to blame when a maid kills her employer? i say blame her Singaporean/rapist/molester/basher/exploiter.
Right, that always happens.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Dumb maids goes home.
Dumb parents make their maids cook, clean AND watch their kids.
Most maids are not aware they sold themselves into SLAVERY until they become one.
Contracts may be legal and binding.. but not all are FAIR for both parties.
Not all parents are deserving of pilial piety. Only GOOD parents are deserving of it.
OK ? Good.
Not all dumb maids go home, some employer, to save trouble and also to give the dumb maid a chance, will choose to live with it.
Not all parents are dumb, they need to work. They can't be there 24/7 to supervise the maid and see how she takes care of the babies and kids and how they cook and clean.
Most maids are not stupid thats why before they come they already agree to pretend to be stupid so they don't get to do things they don't want to. Slavery? Seriously, who's not a slave in this kinda F U society?
Obviously you are not a parent yourself. How do you define good parents? TS is staying with his parents and they are providing for him, caring for him, is that not good enough? Must they serve him/her tea to show their love?!
OK? Good.
Originally posted by -Rantress-:Not all dumb maids go home, some employer, to save trouble and also to give the dumb maid a chance, will choose to live with it.
Not all parents are dumb, they need to work. They can't be there 24/7 to supervise the maid and see how she takes care of the babies and kids and how they cook and clean.
Most maids are not stupid thats why before they come they already agree to pretend to be stupid so they don't get to do things they don't want to. Slavery? Seriously, who's not a slave in this kinda F U society?
Obviously you are not a parent yourself. How do you define good parents? TS is staying with his parents and they are providing for him, caring for him, is that not good enough? Must they serve him/her tea to show their love?!
OK? Good.
I think TS mom has issues.. not related to how dumb/smart her maid is. She is just a very bitter and angry person.
Dumb maids act dumb because they think their employers are just as dumb. These ones don't last.
Some maids are initially dumb/ignorant but exhibits potential to learn and improve..these are the ones we keep. Afterall.. they do come from a third world environment.. never use a washing machine before... donno how to use a microwave.. etc
I am a parent myself.. and I hire one nanny to care for my kid and one to do my housechores on a part time basis.
Be realistic.. I cannot be cooking and cleaning at the same time I care for my child..if I can't do it.. what makes you think a maid can ? Are they super humans ?
Originally posted by jojobeach:I think TS mom has issues.. not related to how dumb/smart her maid is. She is just a very bitter and angry person.
Dumb maids act dumb because they think their employers are just as dumb. These ones don't last.
Some maids are initially dumb/ignorant but exhibits potential to learn and improve..these are the ones we keep. Afterall.. they do come from a third world environment.. never use a washing machine before... donno how to use a microwave.. etc
I am a parent myself.. and I hire one nanny to care for my kid and one to do my housechores on a part time basis.
Be realistic.. I cannot be cooking and cleaning at the same time I care for my child..if I can't do it.. what makes you think a maid can ? Are they super humans ?
I don't know about TS's mum but I missed my mum. We have issues since I was young. I am the middle child and always lack of care, love and concern. I seek attention by behaving badly, mischievously and I never knew it until I read about it years later after I became an adult. It's the common traits for middle child as they are sandwiched by 2 other siblings.
My mum and I were loggerheads. We fight always, I ran away from home many times. She hit me and I hit her back, she scold me and I scold her back, I even cursed her many times. I am such a F U brat in the past.
Now that I am older only to realise family members are the most important people in our lives. They are the only one we can trust and they are the only one we can truly be ourselves without fear of unacceptance, especially our mothers because they gave birth to us after many months of suffering and that's why our birthdays are also know as the �亲�难日.
Treasure your loved ones before it's too late and this sentence is too true but many fail to understand.
I agree we have to be realistic and therefore we shouldn't expect too much from a domestic helper.
Give them a schedule or a timetable to follow and many chores are not done daily I am sure there is a way to cope with a small family of 4.
I know we side tracked but I just want to share my thoughts and feelings. I don't live in Singapore anymore and my family is a few thousand miles away from me, half the time I cry myself to sleep because I missed them and I really want to be with them but it does not permits me due to my current and probably future commitments. =(
Originally posted by -Rantress-:I don't know about TS's mum but I missed my mum. We have issues since I was young. I am the middle child and always lack of care, love and concern. I seek attention by behaving badly, mischievously and I never knew it until I read about it years later after I became an adult. It's the common traits for middle child as they are sandwiched by 2 other siblings.
My mum and I were loggerheads. We fight always, I ran away from home many times. She hit me and I hit her back, she scold me and I scold her back, I even cursed her many times. I am such a F U brat in the past.
Now that I am older only to realise family members are the most important people in our lives. They are the only one we can trust and they are the only one we can truly be ourselves without fear of unacceptance, especially our mothers because they gave birth to us after many months of suffering and that's why our birthdays are also know as the �亲�难日.
Treasure your loved ones before it's too late and this sentence is too true but many fail to understand.
I agree we have to be realistic and therefore we shouldn't expect too much from a domestic helper.
Give them a schedule or a timetable to follow and many chores are not done daily I am sure there is a way to cope with a small family of 4.
I know we side tracked but I just want to share my thoughts and feelings. I don't live in Singapore anymore and my family is a few thousand miles away from me, half the time I cry myself to sleep because I missed them and I really want to be with them but it does not permits me due to my current and probably future commitments. =(
Some times...a family get along better when they don't live together.
Mothers are human beings.. they do have their personal prejudices and preferences.
Some are more self-ish than others.. some are more giving and nurturing.
You are an adult now. Time to blaze your own trail in life.
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
- Khalil Gibran