whats wrong with this guy?
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Originally posted by SBS2601D:
Simple:
Guy is interested, but reckons he has got no chance, so to avoid getting into any awkward situation, guy makes the first move of "rejection" claiming he's not interested and makes it appear if TS is the one who's drawing close.
Basically....ego issue.
Bingo!
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Originally posted by jollebean:a ex male colleague wanted to keep in contact with me so i dropped him an email. We dont know each other well and hardly talk to one another.
Well, to my surprise, since then, he has been emailing me almost daily with random rants about his work and academic problems. Then i thought, it seems like a sharing session and i also confided in him about my work problems. so i just give him normal casual email replies
Then he asked me a question, why am i confiding in him when we hardly know each other well in person and if im attached, i shouldnt be in any form of conversation with him, i agreed and we remained in touch. I make it clear that im single and not looking.
Today he told me he has some problems at work. As a natural instinct and as a "friend" , i asked if he is willing to share about his problems. He then suddenly gave me a revelation of things :
(1) I am a nice girl, he is more willing to share and open up to me given more time
(2) he sincerely wants to know me better as a friend
(3) he wants our communication to be kept a secret as he wants to maintains his privacy and feaful that our ex colleagues may gossip and have the wrong impression of us.
Im totally hurted. All along, i was simply replying his email since he took the initiative to send his regards to me daily. Now, he is suddenly maintaining and drawing his distance from me. I didnt send or show any gestures that im romantically interested in him. In fact, i just thought he would make a good confidant, a good friend for me to share my job-hunting woes. It was just normal conversational topics , there was nothing romantic about it. i didnt do anything romantic just simply reply and maintain contact
Why must he suddenly behaved this way? I felt hurted, rejected and offended, i told him i dont like him and did he think i liked him? He said he appreciate it if i dont mention it, as he doesnt know me well and only take me as a friend. he even added he has no time for relationship now and if he indeed likes me, he wouldnt be explaining it to me..
i dont understand..why are guys so fast to maintain and draw boundaries and give their stand..when i didnt even say/hint i like the,, it is just based simply on their own assumptions..
am i so awful as a person that they have to make it so clear so soon that we can only be nothing but secret friends?
im hurted for no reason
problem is i didnt even say i like him, i just reply his email casually....he behaves as if im confessing to him
I have a problem I want to confine with you. I want to make friend with Princess Elin but hitman is always blocking me with his crazy infatuation about brown rice and manufacturing designs and also his rants about his lonely Ozzy life.So, do you want to go out with me?
Hahahahahaha. Don't take me seriously and don't feel hurted.
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From what I gathered from your post, it sounds like the guy just wants to lead you on as a "standby".
A friend is a friend. Why does he need to hide the fact that you are contact with him ? Would you ask any of your friends to act as if they don't know you ?
He sounds like a creep to me (IMO).
That being said, it would be in your best interests to ignore this guy.
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If you say or imply everyday that "I'm not interested anyway", he'll soon change his tune. Might even go after you.
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Originally posted by jollebean:
nope, i dont like/love him
just feel angry, puzzled about his weird behaviour..
weirdo..
Better to tell him than later.
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Mistook friendiness for interest, and he is still living in his blissful way of thinking, possibly only a harsh reality talk can maybe wake him up.
I think chatting frequently is the main problem here, and you even shared your problems with him. Just ignore his pleas/convo initiations and i think he will start to give up and stop being weird :).
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Best is leave him alone and move on. Not worthy to even consider him a friend.