whats wrong with this guy?
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a ex male colleague wanted to keep in contact with me so i dropped him an email. We dont know each other well and hardly talk to one another.
Well, to my surprise, since then, he has been emailing me almost daily with random rants about his work and academic problems. Then i thought, it seems like a sharing session and i also confided in him about my work problems. so i just give him normal casual email replies
Then he asked me a question, why am i confiding in him when we hardly know each other well in person and if im attached, i shouldnt be in any form of conversation with him, i agreed and we remained in touch. I make it clear that im single and not looking.
Today he told me he has some problems at work. As a natural instinct and as a "friend" , i asked if he is willing to share about his problems. He then suddenly gave me a revelation of things :
(1) I am a nice girl, he is more willing to share and open up to me given more time
(2) he sincerely wants to know me better as a friend
(3) he wants our communication to be kept a secret as he wants to maintains his privacy and feaful that our ex colleagues may gossip and have the wrong impression of us.
Im totally hurted. All along, i was simply replying his email since he took the initiative to send his regards to me daily. Now, he is suddenly maintaining and drawing his distance from me. I didnt send or show any gestures that im romantically interested in him. In fact, i just thought he would make a good confidant, a good friend for me to share my job-hunting woes. It was just normal conversational topics , there was nothing romantic about it. i didnt do anything romantic just simply reply and maintain contact
Why must he suddenly behaved this way? I felt hurted, rejected and offended, i told him i dont like him and did he think i liked him? He said he appreciate it if i dont mention it, as he doesnt know me well and only take me as a friend. he even added he has no time for relationship now and if he indeed likes me, he wouldnt be explaining it to me..
i dont understand..why are guys so fast to maintain and draw boundaries and give their stand..when i didnt even say/hint i like the,, it is just based simply on their own assumptions..
am i so awful as a person that they have to make it so clear so soon that we can only be nothing but secret friends?
im hurted for no reason
problem is i didnt even say i like him, i just reply his email casually....he behaves as if im confessing to him -
The secret lies within the one or two words that caused him to misunderstand you.
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day long grow feeling...
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TS, He had his expectations of you though it was never in any articulated or mentioned explicitly, behind the facade of (only he is privy to his inside) was lots! Sadly, u seem not to notice that you are in the same predicament as he was or seems to be. The mutual benefit scheme - unknown to each other is manifesting itself out but not in the manner that both you had expected it to be. hence, the disappoint or whatever you deem well-suited for u or him to label it. U are hurt, why? if u did not expect him to ....? surely u would not be. The same for him.
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Is he a shy guy? Or very quiet guy?
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He wants your attention.
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He thinks too much.
Leave him alone.
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fugazzi..yr ang moh very solid leh..
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Perhaps he feels lonely (and he doesn't realize it), he needs someone to listen and talk to him
He is confused, he needs some time to work it all out
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"im hurted for no reason"
You are right there.
If you don't like what he says, just speak your mind to him, and tell him what you think of him. Why the hell must you be hurt by his comments. And if he don't like what you say, why care. Tell him off and stop the emailing. Finished.
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Originally posted by mancha:
"im hurted for no reason"
You are right there.
If you don't like what he says, just speak your mind to him, and tell him what you think of him. Why the hell must you be hurt by his comments. And if he don't like what you say, why care. Tell him off and stop the emailing. Finished.
you stupid people, you do not understand a girl well,TS must had fallen in love with him, so now that he do not wanted to go on, she feels hurt. To a gal, Love come in a package ok, inside include, hate, hurt, joy, sweet, sour and hot....understand or not, Uncle
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nope, i dont like/love him
just feel angry, puzzled about his weird behaviour..
weirdo..
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then i am also puzzle about yr weird post, you do not need to get hurt and angry over a weirdo, since you know he is a weirdo, mad guy.
Dun tell me you go IMH and get hurt by those mad guys there like my Uncle hitman??
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Originally posted by angel7030:
you stupid people, you do not understand a girl well,TS must had fallen in love with him, so now that he do not wanted to go on, she feels hurt. To a gal, Love come in a package ok, inside include, hate, hurt, joy, sweet, sour and hot....understand or not, Uncle
This proves what I was told about your gender is true, you are a guy.
Gals know there are both platonic and romantic relationship. Love does not always come in a package. Clearly, the writer of this topic is not in love with him. I know for sure even if the person is not a guy, the writer will feel the same way, too.
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In fact, if I am you, which will not happen, I would had ask him to seek a psychic
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Originally posted by angel7030:
you stupid people, you do not understand a girl well,TS must had fallen in love with him, so now that he do not wanted to go on, she feels hurt. To a gal, Love come in a package ok, inside include, hate, hurt, joy, sweet, sour and hot....understand or not, Uncle
TS already said she has no feeling for the guy. But the guy say like TS not worth it, scared people find out he lau kui. TS wonder what is there to be afraid of.
You sure got volunteer in IMH, your psychology not good leh? You only good in pathology lah. You should go SGH.
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Guy also human and sometimes would need some space for himself or probably he got another target already.
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You can tell him he's welcome to have a go, with no strings attached.
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ɹ�ʇ�ן �oɥ ��s pu� poıɹ�d ʇɹoɥs � ɹoɟ ɯıɥ ɥʇı� buıʇ�ɔıunɯɯoɔ doʇs
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that's awesome! how you manage to do it?
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Simple:
Guy is interested, but reckons he has got no chance, so to avoid getting into any awkward situation, guy makes the first move of "rejection" claiming he's not interested and makes it appear if TS is the one who's drawing close.
Basically....ego issue.
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Originally posted by BanguIzai:
¡xɥʇ ¡×Ÿoן -
Initially he had some feelings for you but as you talk more and more each day he realised you are probably not his cup of tea so time to cut loose and prevent more time wasted on somebody you don't see eye to eye to.
Congrats you are now back in the "Ex-Colleague" catagory!
=)
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¡Ç�Ç�Ê�