Distant Brother of Mine
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I refuse to name anybody in this story of my life.
Hi, im 19 years old poly student who has a total of 5 siblings in my family. Im the fourth child and also a twin to my brother who is the last child. I have an eldest brother, 31, years of age in 2011. I , as a matter of fact, have not spoken to my eldest brother for 19 years of my existence in earth. He hasn't too. Well, okay the only conversations we've had is when he ordered me to buy him things or do certain stuff he wants. Other than that, our conversations wont last more than 10 seconds. Also, he is the only sibling that i feel so estranged towards. WHY??? Will this last forever??? Also, he is self-centered.
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it is a common different age gap issue ...12 years apart....and besides that personality differences account for a large part of the problem....
are u angry with one another over something that led to the issue?
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Yes, it was back when i was a child. He'd abuse me and kicked, puched me. Called me stupid. There was once, he told my mum " Mum, why do you want so many children". When i heard that, i started hated him. Since then, we never talked. I dispised him for not even expressing love, care nor anything that an elder brother should do. Sometimes, i take him out of the family household.
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as expected from my first leading question...several adult behaviours in later life are largely attributable to childhood problems....they are very common....when siblings fight one another for parental attention and personality differences....
the only solution is growing up....time will absolve all things when one gets older with greater understanding of the world around him...even if it does not resolve easily and overnight, do not let such matters impede your embracement of brotherhood....which is one of the most beautiful meanings in life....
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forgive your brother
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Originally posted by ISTARI:
I refuse to name anybody in this story of my life.
Hi, im 19 years old poly student who has a total of 5 siblings in my family. Im the fourth child and also a twin to my brother who is the last child. I have an eldest brother, 31, years of age in 2011. I , as a matter of fact, have not spoken to my eldest brother for 19 years of my existence in earth. He hasn't too. Well, okay the only conversations we've had is when he ordered me to buy him things or do certain stuff he wants. Other than that, our conversations wont last more than 10 seconds. Also, he is the only sibling that i feel so estranged towards. WHY??? Will this last forever??? Also, he is self-centered.
By figuring out WHY.. will you feel less hate towards your brother and less hated by your brother?
His resentment stems from the fact that he had to share family resources with his siblings.
Being the oldest.. he was probably unfairly burdened with many responsibilities not given to younger siblings.
Yet, your parents had to distribute family resources equally among the siblings. The problem magnifies.. when family resources is currently stretched thin because there's too many mouths to feed.
He probably felt slighted because he felt that the resources used on younger siblings could have helped him achieved much more in our cut throat society.
To him.. siblings are just a drain on his resources..with no return but headaches and liabilities. Even a slave master gets labor out of his slaves when he feeds them.
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煮豆燃豆�，
豆在釜ä¸æ³£ã€‚
本是å�Œæ ¹ç”Ÿï¼Œ
相煎何太急 -
I have a cousin that very very seldom speak at home.
He not even speak 10 words with his parents, his brother and sister.
Yet, they still stayed together till now.
He love to stay in his room studying, lie on the bed, reading, surf net. Watch tv. Very quiet.
Even now, I never talk more than 10 words for many many years.
So, TS, there is such a person in this world. So dont take it too hard.
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Originally posted by Aneslayer:
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豆在釜ä¸æ³£ã€‚
本是å�Œæ ¹ç”Ÿï¼Œ
相煎何太急库克红豆，但�为绿豆
�慢慢�然�以感�到相�的味�
ç»¿è‰²æˆ–çº¢è‰²è±†æ— æ‰€è°“
��它是一个很好的豆
豆爸爸将�常满足 -
Originally posted by likeyou:
I have a cousin that very very seldom speak at home.
He not even speak 10 words with his parents, his brother and sister.
Yet, they still stayed together till now.
He love to stay in his room studying, lie on the bed, reading, surf net. Watch tv. Very quiet.
Even now, I never talk more than 10 words for many many years.
So, TS, there is such a person in this world. So dont take it too hard.
I like yr cousin, sound good to be a husband, can introduce to me.
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These are the quiet and highly sexed type lo.
Everyday want to do wan.
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@fcukpap: Forgiveness has already been at the back of my mind although something in me tells me to be against it or adamant about being merciless towards him. However, i understand that he is my brother and i wish to see proper reconciliation with him.
I had envisioned, one day when he has a daughter/son, he would know the "need" for siblings or else he'll be all alone and his children doesn't have an aunt or an uncle in the future. I will try my best to forgive him and hopefully time can erase all the blemishes of my brotherly predicament. Hopefully, i will receive the closure that i have long awaited and a sense of catharsis that follows with it. Thanks for your advise! I really appreciate it!
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Originally posted by angel7030:
I like yr cousin, sound good to be a husband, can introduce to me.
NO!!!!!!!!!!He good man, alone and quiet...you come into his life will make his life upside down.
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Originally posted by ISTARI:
@fcukpap: Forgiveness has already been at the back of my mind although something in me tells me to be against it or adamant about being merciless towards him. However, i understand that he is my brother and i wish to see proper reconciliation with him.
I had envisioned, one day when he has a daughter/son, he would know the "need" for siblings or else he'll be all alone and his children doesn't have an aunt or an uncle in the future. I will try my best to forgive him and hopefully time can erase all the blemishes of my brotherly predicament. Hopefully, i will receive the closure that i have long awaited and a sense of catharsis that follows with it. Thanks for your advise! I really appreciate it!
How old is your bro? Married?I am pretty sure when he settle down, he will changed. Once a person grow older he will change his attitude towars him.
I have a sister, never really like to talk to her. I am telling the truth. Till one point she was migrate to overseas and never some back. I sms and send mail asking her to come back as brother thinking of you.
So, TS...dont give up on your bro. Ok? Give him time ok?
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Thanks everyone for the good wishes! I will do my best to "befriend" him! I promise
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Originally posted by likeyou:
How old is your bro? Married?I am pretty sure when he settle down, he will changed. Once a person grow older he will change his attitude towars him.
I have a sister, never really like to talk to her. I am telling the truth. Till one point she was migrate to overseas and never some back. I sms and send mail asking her to come back as brother thinking of you.
So, TS...dont give up on your bro. Ok? Give him time ok?
what did she reply if any? -
She replied, "if you keeping surfing sgforum, I won't come back"
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Originally posted by likeyou:
NO!!!!!!!!!!He good man, alone and quiet...you come into his life will make his life upside down.
No lah, somehow, I like quiet man, those guai guai stay at home, listen to wife and care for the house type, but of course he also need to work lah, I can use him on multi tasking purpose tho -
Originally posted by angel7030:
No lah, somehow, I like quiet man, those guai guai stay at home, listen to wife and care for the house type, but of course he also need to work lah, I can use him on multi tasking purpose tho
Control freak + opportunistic wife -
Originally posted by likeyou:
I have a cousin that very very seldom speak at home.
He not even speak 10 words with his parents, his brother and sister.
Yet, they still stayed together till now.
He love to stay in his room studying, lie on the bed, reading, surf net. Watch tv. Very quiet.
Even now, I never talk more than 10 words for many many years.
So, TS, there is such a person in this world. So dont take it too hard.
My exbf, he doesn't talk much with his family, not much with me too but he's a genius, at 21 he already made his first million from the internet.
Gosh, I really missed him. =(
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Originally posted by ISTARI:
Thanks everyone for the good wishes! I will do my best to "befriend" him! I promise
You can't be-friend him.. if he doesn't want to be yours.
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Originally posted by -Rantress-:
My exbf, he doesn't talk much with his family, not much with me too but he's a genius, at 21 he already made his first million from the internet.
Gosh, I really missed him. =(
if he had millions why u break off with him?
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Originally posted by kengkia:
if he had millions why u break off with him?
because that million was in rupees -
Originally posted by Bio-Hawk:
Control freak + opportunistic wife
While, every men got a control stick for us to control ya