how to befriend a guy i have been secretly admiring?
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Originally posted by angel7030:
For gals looking for Love
Rule nos 1, never initiate the first move, let the guy do the honor of being gentlemenRule nos 2, even if you really love and like that guy, see Rule nos 1
Rule nos 3, if really the guy is a dumb cutie, and you have no choice but to initiated it, you will be a bitch for the rest of your life, so called little red bitch
right, that's how you woo-ed me
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Ts, Why is there a need to initiate? Most probably it is cos of the fear as to whether it may work out or not? I surmise the fear is not of love in intself hurting oneself but the fear of losing onself in it or not being able to find oneself in another or even that of fear of the loss of self! Of course, the motive (if there is any) cancels out love but reinforces needs/expectations. Only in being self-honest may one see thru one's own folly and inadequacy! Ego and love can never co-exist. One cannot do away with the former - but the least one can do is having a POROUS ego. If one adopts the stance of waiting for the other or some conditions to be fulfilled - one is not not living but waiting to live or preparing to live!
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aiya, u so lor sor one, so many self here and there, just one word, dun be a bitch to intiate, it will simply lower our gal images. Be more lady like not matter how desparate you are, if have, it will come naturally, if not, just move on. Full Stop
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Originally posted by troublemaker2005:
right, that's how you woo-ed me
no, i use the rule no 4 on you,Rule nos 4: be nice to older men
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TS, a very simple mention, call him and ask him out for lunch.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
aiya, u so lor sor one, so many self here and there, just one word, dun be a bitch to intiate, it will simply lower our gal images. Be more lady like not matter how desparate you are, if have, it will come naturally, if not, just move on. Full Stop
The highest form of prejudice is to ignore what one knows not nor cares to know about - that seems to be your predicament. By labelling others, you are not judging them (in this instance my postings) but rather what you are all about. In other words, you define yourself. -
Originally posted by Fugazzi:
The highest form of prejudice is to ignore what one knows not nor cares to know about - that seems to be your predicament. By labelling others, you are not judging them (in this instance my postings) but rather what you are all about. In other words, you define yourself.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
The highest form of prejudice is to ignore what one knows not nor cares to know about - that seems to be your predicament. By labelling others, you are not judging them (in this instance my postings) but rather what you are all about. In other words, you define yourself.
the highest form of ignorance, is bliss. By being overly lor sor and think one is preaching the righteous, alway end up preaching to the birds and flowers. In another words, all had fallen asleep zzzzz -
Exactly Fugazzi, I know what you mean by waiting for some condition to be fulfilled. Becos most of the time, it never will. I mean if it would happen, it will already have happened. That is why I am thinking of taking a first step. It doesn't have to man taking first step all the time i guess in this era of our time. I think it is better to choose than to be chosen by others and leave us with limited choices which are usually not what we want or the best.
But having said that, it is my lack of courage that stop me from doing certain things especially in relationship. haha....guess it can't be love as you said. But just admiration at this point.
Finding courage.....
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When one is too full of the self - one is already disconnected/alienated from oneself. How to relate to another. At its best it is going to be superficial n contrived and at its worst exploitation of another to fulfil onself. Imagine two people coming together and behind the word love, the above ''phenomena'' were to transpire. When one ceases to cherish opinions of .... - living is easy. Mine, not excluded! Ps - Courage cannot be cultivated, learned or ... cos behind it is the fear that is the barrier.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
no, i use the rule no 4 on you,Rule nos 4: be nice to older men
that includes be on top of older men
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no, it include placing them nicely as they lay to rest in peace in a box
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Say 'Hi, Coffee?'
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Love is a strange thing and in cases like this, I always encourage. I believe to try is 50% but never is 0.
From the way you describe him, he seems to be quite a good natured person with patience too and probably too good to be true but you certainly need to know him in real and not in FB.
Asking him out seems too abrupt and it's not really a good thing because he is a busy man plus the fact, who would go for a date with someone they don't even know. (I won't for sure)
Get close by choosing wisely, following his agenda. I think leaving a deep impression is important and of course, opportunity must allow a good impression and not just any.
Good luck!
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Love by itself is not a strange things, it is you who perceive it that way, because you cannot handle love. L O V E, what is the problem. In the begining you find very hard to get the Love, once you tasted it, you start to get bore over it, then you wonder why you were so desparate to have him in the first place.
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Originally posted by Little Red Book:
HI Gunner,
that's exactly what i wanted to do now. To get the know the real him. He is never online "live" on fb so i got to email him. I needed some advise how i can do it know. I have never approach any guys in my life or maybe didn't find anyone who is worth it except him.
Do give me some tips on the opening line? lol.
thanks,
LRB
Send him an email telling him you are one of his fb friend and would like to have dinner with you one day if you are free.
Then wait for his mail.
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Never initiate any move, as a gal myself, that is my advise, you will regret it. Naturally, gal are mend to be pick and admired, not the other way round, if you do so, you belittle yourself.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Never initiate any move, as a gal myself, that is my advise, you will regret it. Naturally, gal are mend to be pick and admired, not the other way round, if you do so, you belittle yourself.
A spoiled princess.I have had many gals come up to me some even too direct and I appreciated it. If you like him, go to him and sh ow it.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Never initiate any move, as a gal myself, that is my advise, you will regret it. Naturally, gal are mend to be pick and admired, not the other way round, if you do so, you belittle yourself.
ah angel, you live in the 60s? time has changed, equality lah. you want to wait for guy to make a move, you might be waiting in vain...
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Yeah. Seize the moment. If you want something, go for it. It's better to know than never try at all. You live life only once.
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2.5 years?? hurry up lah, what if he goes to find gf.....haiyoh, dun need to think abt to much, life is short, how would u know what will happen if u dun try??
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Originally posted by angel7030:
no, it include placing them nicely as they lay to rest in peace in a box
i din know you work for undertaker service
laid me down nice nice please
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Try to do something / some activity together.....
At first I dont recommend asking for "coffee" or something like that immediately....because sometimes it can be awkward.......and maybe too forward, which make the guy may reject and decline it.....Initially you must try to do some neutral activity together that you can pass off as something innocent, something low key and low pressure.
Keep doing it a few times without him thinking he is on a "date"....
Then afterwards you can slowly "upgrade" your approach.....
Ok good luck,
: D
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�打�相识....
go up to him with a friendly smile....then punch his face....and ask:"Pain?"