I need help please, read my story? (a story of a quiet girl)
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But your threads make alot of people not happy leh.
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Originally posted by Sandy17sandy17:
Let me first say Hi-5 to you. I'm also a quiet person. haha...i like people-watching too, enjoying the environment around me. But i have changed ever since i went to a new sch ,after Olevels. ..okay thats a different story.Now back to the point.you know, AngelOfDarkness, I was just like you. Afraid to speak out. Getting bullied, duno how to rebut.
you have to realise this: being quiet not equals to cannot stand up for yourself
when you are bullied by others, you dont have to be afraid to speak out. Because you did nothing wrong. you also have your own rights for protecting yourself, like every other individual.
btw.AngelOfDarkness, do you feel the urge to talk to people?
Hi Sandy, ya I have urge! Sometimes larh. =SI oso duno why I scared to speak out. Maybe scared throw face or what lorh.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Ok, Nevermind, since you are more of a straightlace type who cannot read some msg within a msg posted.By the way, how far can an Angel differ.
LOL. Dat's y my lit fail :Pdin get ur msg, sorry xS
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Hey angel, if you have the urge to talk,just go for it man!!
You can strike a engaging conversation as long as you are sincere:)
You can start small:)
Like: Hey were u affected by the smrt break down ..bla bla
Anyways, u will be surprised when u actually speak out. Because, when u speak out,it goes to show that u are more comfortable with your opinions,your sociability.. And when u r more comfortable with yourself,people will start to enjoy your company.
Jia You!^^ don't be afraid to take the 1st step
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Originally posted by Sandy17sandy17:
Hey angel, if you have the urge to talk,just go for it man!!
You can strike a engaging conversation as long as you are sincere:)
You can start small:)
Like: Hey were u affected by the smrt break down ..bla bla
Anyways, u will be surprised when u actually speak out. Because, when u speak out,it goes to show that u are more comfortable with your opinions,your sociability.. And when u r more comfortable with yourself,people will start to enjoy your company.
Jia You!^^ don't be afraid to take the 1st step
Hi Sandy, I need to try lor :P Sometimes I really can do it, most of the time no, though. Lol. How about you lei, share your story? :D -
Hmm.I'm actually quiet by nature,..but now,it has changed. I always feel the urge to talk to others. But I'm not doing it because I am afraid.afraid that I might embarrass myself. This feelings of contradictions made me feel really upset.I feel trapped by myself.
One day,this year, I decided to take the plunge and be myself with my new found classmates.
Guess what? It worked outXD
I felt good being myself.and my friends felt my comfortable with me..now I can easily talk to them without fear,because I know that they have accepted me for who I am and I have accepted myself and stepped out of my comfort zone.hehe.
But I'm still struggling..when I'm in new social situations. Haha..I'm still learning to be myself..
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TS sounds alright to me.
Just insecure. -
I used to be a shy guy at work too. For a start, if you see if your colleague need assistance, don't be shy to offer a helping hand. People will start noticing you and they probably will return the favor but you must have the mindset of helping because you want to and don't expect anything else from there. Learn to observe people around you. See what they usually chat about, their hobbies etc. You can say " Hey i watched that movie too! Its pretty cool, blah blah blah." Sometimes when you are too quiet people might think you are too "cool" if you know what i mean. Join them for lunch, company gathering and stuff like that. Before you know it, people will come approach you and ask you to join them for their activities. Takes a bit to get used to it and just be sincere! Cheers
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just talk ,just be confident thats all. enage to hot topic. comment on government. they will like it.
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Originally posted by Sandy17sandy17:
Hmm.I'm actually quiet by nature,..but now,it has changed. I always feel the urge to talk to others. But I'm not doing it because I am afraid.afraid that I might embarrass myself. This feelings of contradictions made me feel really upset.I feel trapped by myself.
One day,this year, I decided to take the plunge and be myself with my new found classmates.
Guess what? It worked outXD
I felt good being myself.and my friends felt my comfortable with me..now I can easily talk to them without fear,because I know that they have accepted me for who I am and I have accepted myself and stepped out of my comfort zone.hehe.
But I'm still struggling..when I'm in new social situations. Haha..I'm still learning to be myself..
Wah..Can you be my shijie.........just recently I was like vv 'gel' all of a sudden, with one of my colleagues. Must be the stress man, I just snapped and went crazy :S I kept disturbing her. And yea, that felt really good. :D Just hope to be able to maintain this level of sociability :D -
Originally posted by AngelOfDarkness:
I am now working, already 2 years plus out in working force. I graduated from Poly and worked from then. I find that life is very hard, mostly because I am very reticent. Easy for people to bully me, to take advantage of me, make me do things to cover their backside etc. Especially now that I'm working. I try to be good, I do my best at my work. But, anything that goes wrong, fingers point at me, and I cannot defend myself cos I have a weak voice and I get tongue-tied if people suddenly focus their attention on me.
It has been like this since I was young. Was a quiet kid. Sitting in corner reading books during big family outings. Then in Primary school I was quiet, but people liked to tease me because I would tease back, or blush. As I grow older I get more and more quiet. Because I don't know what to say, because I see the people around me don't seem to 'click' with me, as in they are too boisterous. I like to read. I don't like watching television, and even if I do, they are all 'old' shows, shows that are no longer 'in fashion' or 'popular'.
How? Easy to say that to remedy it is to talk to people, but then the conversation doesn't flow
I'm quite content being quiet, I love my quiet time, to observe the clouds in the sky, or people-watch, see their emotions etc. But I desire friends. Friends who are like more in tune with me, not overly-boisterous. Because I have made friends who are really boisterous, but then they get bored of me soon, cos I am not the type keen to join in their "come let's get drunk and dance!" kind of fun.
Does anyone else also have this experience? Of being so super quiet like me? How can I overcome it? I always feel that people find me boring, and then I also get the feel that the people avoid me, cos people who are usually alone give off this 'vibe' thing that people with normal social lives can sense.
Don't hesitate to voice out your opinions/stand. Especially if its about shouldering the blame for something you didn't do. I used to be like you, but once you're out in the working force, you've got to stick to this to keep yourself from the perils. No matter how "unnice", how overwhelmingly stressful and tense the situation gets, you have to stand up for your own rights. As long as your conscience is clear, it doesn't matter whether or not, at the end of the day, whose fault it really is as you know you've clearly not done anything wrong. I can totally relate to how you feel "content being quiet". I too, like to be alone in quiet places. For example, I'd sit aimlessly in a park and just watch the sky, the people, close my eyes, smell the air, feel the atmosphere. People remain in your life for a reason. You don't have to change yourself for anyone. The right friends will come along someday, :). -
Originally posted by Hseng25:
I used to be a shy guy at work too. For a start, if you see if your colleague need assistance, don’t be shy to offer a helping hand. People will start noticing you and they probably will return the favor but you must have the mindset of helping because you want to and don’t expect anything else from there.
Learn to observe people around you. See what they usually chat about, their hobbies etc. You can say � Hey i watched that movie too! Its pretty cool, blah blah blah.� Sometimes when you are too quiet people might think you are too “cool� if you know what i mean. Join them for lunch, company gathering and stuff like that. Before you know it, people will come approach you and ask you to join them for their activities.
Takes a bit to get used to it and just be sincere! Cheers
Lol. My colleagues all ok de. Ask me join lunch and all that. But usually I don't, cos I don't like big groups. Sometimes got join the small one that's like 3 others, but dat's still a lot for me cos I like and prefer one-on-one. More sincere :D So how are you like at work now? :D -
Originally posted by 韩飞官:
just talk ,just be confident thats all. enage to hot topic. comment on government. they will like it.
Comment on govt?! Are you sure? I will get BBQ'd. No thanks. A simple comment by me and I got BBQ'd by my friend. You can check out my other post :Dmore likely I'll engage them in a debate, then slip out unnoticed. Hahaha. Great idea han fei gong :D
@sky & seth:
Thanks :D
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Originally posted by Hseng25:
I used to be a shy guy at work too. For a start, if you see if your colleague need assistance, don’t be shy to offer a helping hand. People will start noticing you and they probably will return the favor but you must have the mindset of helping because you want to and don’t expect anything else from there.
Learn to observe people around you. See what they usually chat about, their hobbies etc. You can say ” Hey i watched that movie too! Its pretty cool, blah blah blah.” Sometimes when you are too quiet people might think you are too “cool” if you know what i mean. Join them for lunch, company gathering and stuff like that. Before you know it, people will come approach you and ask you to join them for their activities.
Takes a bit to get used to it and just be sincere! Cheers
Agree ! Perhaps this can take away the level of impersonal atmosphere at the office. Angel Of D, try to make conversation with your colleagues (when they are free - during lunch hour or after work). Of course don't try to chat when they are busy midway work. Sometimes, you may stumble upon co-workers at the pantry, chatting away about things that may strike a familiar tone to you, that is the opportunity for you to mingle and make friends.
Sometimes I find this work, even when I get into work conflicts with co-workers. We may argue or disagree but after we cool down, I come over for a tea or coffee break at the pantry with the co-worker, the ice breaks after a casual chat, and we're good again. Of course this depends on the ego of the co-worker, some may forgive and forget, but beware of those who remember.
Also to be a quiet person - is not a bad thing. Some people like to have their quiet time, go to a park to think and reflect. Yes, reflection is a good habit. You should have more time to reflect on the rest of your day.
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Quiet is good, and in fact quiet command more respect, those talk and gossip alot one are just empty vessel making hell of alot of noises, stay quiet like me, moreover, quiet can think better, cos our brain is not dual or i7 cored. If you talk alot, the brain do not think much, so you expect the talking will be just TCSS
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Quiet is good, and in fact quiet command more respect, those talk and gossip alot one are just empty vessel making hell of alot of noises, stay quiet like me, moreover, quiet can think better, cos our brain is not dual or i7 cored. If you talk alot, the brain do not think much, so you expect the talking will be just TCSS
Lol Angel quiet de? You don't seem so lei..I don't mean u are the gossipy type, just that u are not e shy type methinks.. -
Looks like you really have a problem. BUT hey, nobody can help you, unless you are prepared to help yourself girl! You know your problem right? So now it time to get the solution. Join some courses e.g Toastmaster course whereby you get to practise public speaking in small groups in a friendly environment . This could help boost your self confidence. Go for some leadership and /or self improvement courses as well. Even a simple basic course in deportment and grooming , could help in improving your poise, presentation and looks and thus your self -confidence. Slowly, you will begin to assert yourself and move on or even up in life, instead of just being a door- mat ok?
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Originally posted by AngelOfDarkness:
Lol Angel quiet de? You don't seem so lei..I don't mean u are the gossipy type, just that u are not e shy type methinks..Here is not talking, here only typing and keying, what is there to shy about, in Singapore, the more shy you are, the more disadvantage you are, if got $10 on the floor, just take lah, shy for what?? you dun take, someone within second someone will chomp it. Want to be success, not only need to take risk, skin must be thick..
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Don't bother changing yourself, you just need to accept what you are and get a few (1 or 2 is more than enough) good and compatible friends.
Re your work problems. you could either learn to be more assertive or you could also consider changing jobs to get a better environment.
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hi all...
I found a website...
the wbsite is http://sgforums.com/premier_membership
u all can go n visit it!!!
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Try some courses.
Expensive but may help you.
http://singapore.dalecarnegie.com/events/dale_carnegie_course/
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Originally posted by WhyYouStaring:
Hi Angel,
I seem to have found my twin, personality-wise.
Which Angel are you refering to? We have two angels over here.One is my Jie, AngelofDarkness, another is angel7030 who is...
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Dear Angel of Darkness,
HELLO ,happy chinese new year.Im the opposite.Im very talkative among my family,i think i gotten the gene from my dad.
Sometimes i wish i was quiet and calm.I remember that my kindergaren or k1 k2 report card inside was mark" Talkative".
Angel everyday is a new day, so fresh,so beautiful. We can do anything we want ,we like, no one can stop us.
Quiet is very elegant, i wish i was quiet too.introvert people have the most wonderful thing in their mind to tell ,do not botttle up your feeling if you feel to talk to anyone.
Im here wishing you a Happy chinese new year to you and your lovely family.Thanks you so much.
ah sian:-)