Have a crush on a colleague but...
-
I posted but it didn't show up so I re-post it. Moderator please remove it for double posting.
I really feel shameful and sorry for what I'm going to describe in the following.
My company recently employed a female staff to be my assistant.
She is cute and friendly.
The first time I saw her, she caught my attention. Most of the time I did not dare to look into her eyes directly while talking to her, worry that I might not be able to carry on with my points. Sometimes I too noticed that she tried to avoid my eyes during conversation relating to work.
Sooner I knew I have a crush on her. I'm also aware that I should NOT even have such feeling towards a young girl like her (she's 20 yrs younger than me) in the first place.
She is the reason I go to office daily.
I'll miss her whenever she's out of office.
I feel like a kid looking for candies.
I want to know more about her.
I want to take her out for dinner.
If she rejects me, end of the story, period. Carry on with my life.
Otherwise I'll be sorry for what I did.
I'm sorry because I'm already married to a lovely wife. I still love my wife as much as she loves me. However I must agree that we communicate very much lesser than before.
I think my mind is going haywire, something in there not right. I'm sick!
Am I terribly crazy? Am I wrong to fall for a young girl? Is there any way to cure my sick mind? Is it evil for me to have such thought of loving another girl beside the one I should love?
Is there anyone who read this thread had the same situation as mine? Please share with me your story and how did you handle it.
I don't want to hurt anybody.
I want to know how should I overcome this crisis.
I worry that the lack of concentration on my work will affect my performance.
Thank you so much for the advice. Be it bad or good. Very much appreciated.
Sorry if I have asked too much.
-
Its normal... unless your company has a no relationship policy...
Just don't let the personal affairs affect the work... Any hanky panky please leave it out of the office. Tq.
-
I think the decent thing to do is to use your feelings and perhaps try and link that to why and whether u long for something you may not be getting from the partner whom u love.
e.g. u may feel like holding the newbie's hand. Is that because you don't hold your partner's hand often and long to do so?
So i think try and use it constructively and stay faithful to your wife. 20 years your junior.....treat her like a daughter and try and get rid of the creepy thoughts.
-
Ts, Be faitfhul to your ''self'' first really helps , otherwise being faithful to another cos u are married to someone is deluding oneself. An obligation is an albatross around one's psyche! It is delibitating and energy-sapping. Reconcile to the conflicting emotions, the ''past'' baggage and it may avail u of ''ánswers.'' One cannot give what one oneself does not have within oneself. As for having a crush or what you will - it is perfectly ok, but to think that it is real, is utter folly. It is a projection of what is within oneself that has surfaced. It could have been somthing of the past (unreconciled/denied) and if not for this gal, it would still not go away. Circumstances dont make a person, it reveals what one is all about!
-
pics?
-
Originally posted by sucksbigtime:
I posted but it didn't show up so I re-post it. Moderator please remove it for double posting.
I really feel shameful and sorry for what I'm going to describe in the following.
My company recently employed a female staff to be my assistant.
She is cute and friendly.
The first time I saw her, she caught my attention. Most of the time I did not dare to look into her eyes directly while talking to her, worry that I might not be able to carry on with my points. Sometimes I too noticed that she tried to avoid my eyes during conversation relating to work.
Sooner I knew I have a crush on her. I'm also aware that I should NOT even have such feeling towards a young girl like her (she's 20 yrs younger than me) in the first place.
She is the reason I go to office daily.
I'll miss her whenever she's out of office.
I feel like a kid looking for candies.
I want to know more about her.
I want to take her out for dinner.
If she rejects me, end of the story, period. Carry on with my life.
Otherwise I'll be sorry for what I did.
I'm sorry because I'm already married to a lovely wife. I still love my wife as much as she loves me. However I must agree that we communicate very much lesser than before.
I think my mind is going haywire, something in there not right. I'm sick!
Am I terribly crazy? Am I wrong to fall for a young girl? Is there any way to cure my sick mind? Is it evil for me to have such thought of loving another girl beside the one I should love?
Is there anyone who read this thread had the same situation as mine? Please share with me your story and how did you handle it.
I don't want to hurt anybody.
I want to know how should I overcome this crisis.
I worry that the lack of concentration on my work will affect my performance.
Thank you so much for the advice. Be it bad or good. Very much appreciated.
Sorry if I have asked too much.
you no-good dirty old fart...........................
-
put family portrait on your desk, as ur hp wallpaper, to remind u.
-
"She is the reason I go to office daily..."
i would strongly encourage such passionate relationships at work...your daily attendance (even sacrificing annual leave and MCs) to come to work to see her is commendable....if i m the boss..i will doubly make her pressure u to perform better..hahahhahahahaa
-
jokes aside, such crushes at work are all too common....
women are dispensable but NOT YOUR CAREER....
remember bro..
-
江山远比美人还��，切记。。切记�
-
-
look for a new job.
-
Originally posted by sucksbigtime:
I posted but it didn't show up so I re-post it. Moderator please remove it for double posting.
I really feel shameful and sorry for what I'm going to describe in the following.
My company recently employed a female staff to be my assistant.
She is cute and friendly.
The first time I saw her, she caught my attention. Most of the time I did not dare to look into her eyes directly while talking to her, worry that I might not be able to carry on with my points. Sometimes I too noticed that she tried to avoid my eyes during conversation relating to work.
Sooner I knew I have a crush on her. I'm also aware that I should NOT even have such feeling towards a young girl like her (she's 20 yrs younger than me) in the first place.
She is the reason I go to office daily.
I'll miss her whenever she's out of office.
I feel like a kid looking for candies.
I want to know more about her.
I want to take her out for dinner.
If she rejects me, end of the story, period. Carry on with my life.
Otherwise I'll be sorry for what I did.
I'm sorry because I'm already married to a lovely wife. I still love my wife as much as she loves me. However I must agree that we communicate very much lesser than before.
I think my mind is going haywire, something in there not right. I'm sick!
Am I terribly crazy? Am I wrong to fall for a young girl? Is there any way to cure my sick mind? Is it evil for me to have such thought of loving another girl beside the one I should love?
Is there anyone who read this thread had the same situation as mine? Please share with me your story and how did you handle it.
I don't want to hurt anybody.
I want to know how should I overcome this crisis.
I worry that the lack of concentration on my work will affect my performance.
Thank you so much for the advice. Be it bad or good. Very much appreciated.
Sorry if I have asked too much.
Oh gad. So you are married..... Fark you understand. Think about your wife. Its not love you have to her its lust....
-
if needed, change the asst.
to erm, a not-cute one, preferably
-
Ask her to be your mistress
-
hire aunties above 62....
-
I think you just being horny...
-
Channel that conflict into treating your wife better and improving your physique. Plan all kinds of things on your calendar so that you won't have time after work for your colleague.
-
Originally posted by sucksbigtime:
I posted but it didn't show up so I re-post it. Moderator please remove it for double posting.
I really feel shameful and sorry for what I'm going to describe in the following.
My company recently employed a female staff to be my assistant.
She is cute and friendly.
The first time I saw her, she caught my attention. Most of the time I did not dare to look into her eyes directly while talking to her, worry that I might not be able to carry on with my points. Sometimes I too noticed that she tried to avoid my eyes during conversation relating to work.
Sooner I knew I have a crush on her. I'm also aware that I should NOT even have such feeling towards a young girl like her (she's 20 yrs younger than me) in the first place.
She is the reason I go to office daily.
I'll miss her whenever she's out of office.
I feel like a kid looking for candies.
I want to know more about her.
I want to take her out for dinner.
If she rejects me, end of the story, period. Carry on with my life.
Otherwise I'll be sorry for what I did.
I'm sorry because I'm already married to a lovely wife. I still love my wife as much as she loves me. However I must agree that we communicate very much lesser than before.
I think my mind is going haywire, something in there not right. I'm sick!
Am I terribly crazy? Am I wrong to fall for a young girl? Is there any way to cure my sick mind? Is it evil for me to have such thought of loving another girl beside the one I should love?
Is there anyone who read this thread had the same situation as mine? Please share with me your story and how did you handle it.
I don't want to hurt anybody.
I want to know how should I overcome this crisis.
I worry that the lack of concentration on my work will affect my performance.
Thank you so much for the advice. Be it bad or good. Very much appreciated.
Sorry if I have asked too much.
She is eye candy.
She is also someone else's daughter. Do you have a daughter ?
Her parents are probably your age group. If you have a daughter.. she would be around the same age as her... do you want one of your peers to be lusting after your daughter ?
She probably know you are lusting after her... your body language betrays.
You know you are vulnerable to these kind of women..yet you choose to put yourself in this predicament.
HR didn't just plonk this girl in your department without your approval. You let your dick do the picking.
If she is a distraction.. remove the distraction. Or pay the price with your career and your family life.. r you willing ?
-
TS really facing a hard life if this carry on and on.
One day, you will get mental meltdown.
1. If you are married, do not play with fire. She is only 20+ while you 40+ right?
2. She can be your younger sister.
3. Concentrate with your work and dont think of courtship her. She has her own cycle of young friends, might not want a old man like you to be her steady.
4. Give her a break. Dont be selfish.
-
Another Mr. Analslayer in the making..
Only this time round, its lagi worse, an old cow lusting for young grass .
-
Originally posted by xiaogougou:
Another Mr. Analslayer in the making..
Only this time round, its lagi worse, an old cow lusting for young grass .
No lah.. he is letting his new found "power" get to him.
Very common among new managers. They can't handle positional power.
He probably never had so much control over a woman up till now. I'm sure his own wife hardly make him feel so powerful at home.
As his assistant... she is behaving "submissively".. to her boss.. that's what is turning him into a tikoh pek.
I've seen this kind of problem a lot.
He gota know his place, learn quickly how to put his dick back into his pants and keep it zipped.. else... I forsee another idiot lose his job and his family.
-
Originally posted by jojobeach:
No lah.. he is letting his new found "power" get to him.
Very common among new managers. They can't handle positional power.
He probably never had so much control over a woman up till now. I'm sure his own wife hardly make him feel so powerful at home.
As his assistant... she is behaving "submissively".. to her boss.. that's what is turning him into a tikoh pek.
I've seen this kind of problem a lot.
He gota know his place, learn quickly how to put his dick back into his pants and keep it zipped.. else... I forsee another idiot lose his job and his family.
Why are you stereotyping a stranger and making assumptions based on what you think he is, and not what he said in one post? He's already feeling guilty about this and knows it's wrong. For someone who thinks she knows men too well, you haven't given a feasible solution.
-
Originally posted by Kuali Baba:
Why are you stereotyping a stranger and making assumptions based on what you think he is, and not what he said in one post? He's already feeling guilty about this and knows it's wrong. For someone who thinks she knows men too well, you haven't given a feasible solution.
Dude.. this kind of problem is not unique. When you come out and work.. you'll know.
We lost a few good management people the same way already. It's a shame.. but office scandals, we cannot manipulate as an outsider. We can only try to AVOID this kind of situation from becoming a horrid problem.
He is guilty .. he is feeling ashamed... so what.. the problem is still there... everyday he go to work.. he will see her..his feelings will be there...
When he goes home.. his behavior will change.. his wife will notice.. then the shit will hit the fan.
The only solution is to remove her from his sight. If her skills are valuable to the company... transfer her to another department or another branch.
He is a big boy.. he needs to exercise self control.. self restraint.. if he is rational.. he will make sure never to put himself in such a vulnerable state ever again.
-
There's a saying like: "Don't do shit at the workplace". I don't mean to say that what you're doing is but it's true, keep conduct at the workplace professional. And affairs can seriously mean a sacking if it gets out of hand unless you're highly valued.