Guys Need Help Here..
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After she broke up with me for 3 months.. she called back me.. saying that her mum keep miss me and this coming sunday is her brother wedding day.. her mum talks to me and invited me .. i feel a bit bad to reject .. and said maybe.. after that my ex talks with me for 1 and a half hr.. talks about how's life and how's her mum and she ask me how's my mum and stuffs.. and a bit of last time happy times.. just a bit.. but i talked for 1 AND A half hours.. is it a wrong move for me ?? or because i treat her as friend ?? or do i still love her ?? i also say a bit stuffs about myself to her in the call.. she also said why didnt choose NANYANG POLYTECHNIC Instead of Temasek Polytechnic.. and she said is it because i am scared to face her in school ?? and she like laugh a bit like trying to flirt with me.. but i dun really know why she said that << can someone tell me why ?? and both of us like dun wanna hang the call.. oh she got a boyfriend after we broke up for 8 days.. 3 months know each other and 3 months tgt le.. but can sense that she wanna talk to me too on the phone.. so guys .. what should i do ?? does she miss me in a way ?? wanna hear my voice ?? and this sunday SHOULD I GO A NOT ?? she also invited some of my friends i know and her friends to the wedding.. and her mum invited me.. please do help !! thanks..
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If i were you,
On one hand i do not want to meet her with her new BF if i attend the wedding.
On the other hand i do not want to turn her/her mom down since after all they invited you, and she talked so long on the phone with you.
If her new BF is not going just attend the wedding, you do not need to keep thinking about your past relationship since your have your other friends there to chat.
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TS, if there's a next time when u're in agony, plz don't forget to use paragraphs hor..
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Originally posted by MilkyZ:
After she broke up with me for 3 months.. she called back me.. saying that her mum keep miss me and this coming sunday is her brother wedding day.. her mum talks to me and invited me .. i feel a bit bad to reject .. and said maybe.. after that my ex talks with me for 1 and a half hr.. talks about how's life and how's her mum and she ask me how's my mum and stuffs.. and a bit of last time happy times.. just a bit.. but i talked for 1 AND A half hours.. is it a wrong move for me ?? or because i treat her as friend ?? or do i still love her ?? i also say a bit stuffs about myself to her in the call.. she also said why didnt choose NANYANG POLYTECHNIC Instead of Temasek Polytechnic.. and she said is it because i am scared to face her in school ?? and she like laugh a bit like trying to flirt with me.. but i dun really know why she said that << can someone tell me why ?? and both of us like dun wanna hang the call.. oh she got a boyfriend after we broke up for 8 days.. 3 months know each other and 3 months tgt le.. but can sense that she wanna talk to me too on the phone.. so guys .. what should i do ?? does she miss me in a way ?? wanna hear my voice ?? and this sunday SHOULD I GO A NOT ?? she also invited some of my friends i know and her friends to the wedding.. and her mum invited me.. please do help !! thanks..
First of all... does her mom know she has a NEW boyfriend already ?
I think her mom only knows about the break up.. but donno she hitched a new ride.
Looks like she is trying to please her mom, that's why she is pleading for you to go.
If you are on good terms with her brother.. then you should go as a courtesy to the brother. If the friendship between you and the brother is only so so, then he ain't gonna miss you even if you don't go.
Since she invited some of your friends... it's ok to go with THEM..(if they go) you don't have to sit with your ex and her family.
I can tell you are a very considerate guy.. but you don't have to read too much into her actions.
Girls will flirt their way to get what they want. You just need to be clear what you want in your own heart.
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I am not guys but I feel like wanna comment something.. haha.. I fully agreed what jojobeach said. If you are not close with her bro, what for you attend the wedding? Since she invited some of you guys mutual friends, then without you also nothing wat. I like jojobeach said: " You just need to be clear what you want in your own heart.".. :P
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Guys Thanks For Ur Advices..But need some more..
I know her mum misses me alot and kind of wanted to see me .. From the phone call i can tell that she does misses me a lot..
Now the problem is.. Even if her NEW bf shows up.. Isn't Better If I face all of them ?? I Was wondering if i said i will go.. i can't back out right ?? if not that shows that i am not a gentleman at all.. and if i shows up and her bf is there.. isn't it means that i am strong enough to fight my 'enemies' ? Like having the courage to stand up face-to-face them ..
Her mum did for me and me and my ex a lot.. so i feel grateful to her mum..Her mum help us a lot.. and guys is just a morning buffet.. i dun know am i still have the feelings of love in her.. talking to her on the phone really thinks back.. and one thing keeps bothering me is .. no matter how hard i try not to think this questions keeps pop in my head.. Does my ex misses me, want to see my how am i now, or she still have a bit loves in me ? i will think this way cause in the phone call she tell me stright about her brother problem and 5 calls interupt during our talk in that 1 and hf hour..
she knows that i dun like the hold call sound.. and if is the person i know called her i will asked her to conference as always.. and she did .. she didn't even hang me once but just hold awhile and come back to talk with me. and both of us dun even wanna hang until her mums ask her for help.. then she say in a very nice manner and we hung up. she also got ask questions about me too..
so guys i was wondering in this call .. does she tells whether she missed me ? or other else ?? or i think too much..
please advice me more and thanks a lot.. i will reply asap once i see this..
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Don't think too much about the teleconversation. Its over.
Think about the invite. Why invite you?
The wedding is a big thing for the mum. She is joyous. So she want to share the joy with all whom she cares about.
And you are one of them.
So just decide you want to go or not. This should be in consideration of the mum. You want to honour her, oblige her, please her, don't want to disappoint her, etc. She was good to you, there is a relationship, go in that capacity and nothing else.
Don't go, end of the matter.
Go, go as yourself, sit with people you know, enjoy the dinner, avoid too much fraternity with your ex,( she will be very busy), say hi to her current beau. Just be the gentleman that you are. Give an appropriate hong pao, they will be on the lookout just to see how much you give.
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i think u shd make it clean.
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decide for yourself. if not, ask her what's happening.
assume/wonder/guess also no use.
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I think you have to decide if you are that close to the mum to want to do her this favour
It's like my ex-bf calling me up to comfort his mum instead of asking his fiance to do it -_-" and we broke up donkey years ago
I called his mum up anyway as I was really close to her and liked her as a person and not coz I wanted to do him a favour.
Oh btw he thanked me by making up stories about me during his wedding. Anyway I am very flattered that after all these years, he is still talking & thinking about me
(I did the dumping btw) -
Eh, i olso dumped alot of guys, sadly, not one of their moms call me or close to me, but their dads use to call me for lobangs.
As for TS, I think if she got younger sister, ask her mom to hold on for you. But dun fall in love with her mom ya, then you really asking for trouble.
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Huh ya. Heck care la. Ang Bao go ok already. Just say u got something to attend lo.
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TS lets get a few things straight
1) Your ex broke up with you 3 months back
2) She has a bf only 8 days after both of you broke up
3) She might have been sleeping with him while both of you are still together.
4) When she is in need then she calls you, if not you are just one of the ex she has dump.
5) Question is which part in the above statements shows that she loves you.
Lets test her shall we, " She has to dump her current bf and be back with you if she seriously wants you to go."
If she dumps her current bf for you, it means she loves you.
If does not it means she is only using you.
Action speaks louder than words. If you thinks that she loves you the above test is just a small thing for her.
So much for true love.
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Guys
Now i Really do not really care whether she still loves me.. and i just found out that her bf (the one who be with her after we broke for 8 days) is going for sure..
And i remembered that i messaged her that i maybe busy on this sunday. will comfirmed with you again.. if she miss me or something she will message me back but she didnt even bother to reply to me.. i am now even confused.. should i go because of her MUM or i shouldn't go at all cause.. it is over for us ? or there is still a chance we might be back tgt ??
but guys may i ask this.. if u are me will u return to that girl ?? after broke up and 8 days she got a new bf. maybe in our relationship before we broke the 2 of them might be tgt..
confused of going a not.. Her mum treats me well and i dun wanna let her down.. but my ex bring her bf too.. although my friends are there too but.. haizz..
after 3 months of breakup and 3 months for them to be tgt.. of course i will still have a small portion of feelings left in my heart.. i will still miss her for awhile but not that much after we broke up.. so guys.. new things pop out from my story and what should i do..
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When her mom invited you did she ask anything about your feelings? I am guessing she will go along the lines of " If you think you can cope then come ". No pressure, the choice is yours.
Even if you never go i am sure she will understand? Even an outsider like me understand why if you never show up. Not disrespect but for a good reason.
I will only return to the relationship if she really means it. Breaking up after 3 months and getting another new partner so fast in a week. No offense but i term it "slut-behaviour" frankly.
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Originally posted by Yach:
When her mom invited you did she ask anything about your feelings? I am guessing she will go along the lines of " If you think you can cope then come ". No pressure, the choice is yours.
Even if you never go i am sure she will understand? Even an outsider like me understand why if you never show up. Not disrespect but for a good reason.
I will only return to the relationship if she really means it. Breaking up after 3 months and getting another new partner so fast in a week. No offense but i term it "slut-behaviour" frankly.
Hmmm... so how long must a person wait after breakup, before finding a new mate ?
A breakup may happen overnight... A relationship breaks down over time.
There were already a gradual build-up of unresolved issues/problem between a couple ... that helped progressed to breaking point.
If the END is not really the END... so then what is ?
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TS, if you just join poly, I presume you and your gf are just 16 yrs old or more.
So bloody young its safe to say nothing will come out of the rship. I wonder why is the gf's mum so 'Helpful' ?
Kids your age should be concentrating on your studies and not mess ard with rships. Theres plenty more of time later for that.
If i were you, I will avoid this wedding at all costs. It will definitely be damn awkward if you attend, plus it might be uncomfortable if you were to see her and her new bf indulging in the bliss of her brother's wedding.
By then even the wedding dinner serve you abalone, it will taste like rubber to you.
What for find all those trouble for yourself? If its the mum that miss you, you can always visit her on a separate occasion.
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We can only second guess what will happen if you go.
Even you don't know what will happen if you go.
You only have to decide GO or DON"T GO. Make the decision, and not think about this and that. Thinking will lead you no where. You have think enough, now Decide.
You live by making Decisions. Any Decision. Good decision, bad decision, any decision is better than thinking endlessly.
Got guts GO.
Got guts DON'T GO.
Don't no guts, cannot decide.
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Since TS cannot make up his mind about going or not lets take a vote on whether he should go or not.
I will not go if I were him. Going to a wedding dinner and seeing your ex with a new guy will be very painfull experience. If not handle properly, people will be laugh behind your back and say you are useless.
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Forget it la.....if you're below 21, the r/s won't last. Go to the wedding only if you're above 25.
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I think TS ex family is in bad shape, because they like to con and cheat peoples, so come to wedding, not much peoples want to attend, so, inorder to get the ang bao to cover at least the wedding ceremony cost, they thick skin invited TS, cos they know this gong kia sure come one lah
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Eh, i olso dumped alot of guys, sadly, not one of their moms call me or close to me, but their dads use to call me for lobangs.
As for TS, I think if she got younger sister, ask her mom to hold on for you. But dun fall in love with her mom ya, then you really asking for trouble.
i disagree. love knows no boundaries. so if her mum is old and chiobu laoswee laoswee even 90 years old also can