Mother-Inlaw
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Be careful when dealing with testy in-laws.
Some in-laws will get angry if the wifey suggest moving out.
Posessive parents will accuse the wife of stealing their son away from them.
Want to move out.. the son must be the person to bring it up and execute the move. Else more animosity will ensue.
To have an understanding in-law is a blessing. The unfortunates are many.
Get the husband be the shield. Or say the flat is not big enough as you guys are about to start a family and probably a "Big" one?( even though you KIV the plan) Or suggest BTO near their estate and that you will visit them frequently? Then come out with excuses like enjoy couple moment and blah blah. There will confirm have animosity but i dun think that will be permanent. Maybe buy some stuffs for them on every visit? Cant be angry for years right? they will get over it sooner or later. At most. she call up all the aunties and start complaining about in law but then come to think of it, how often do you see them? New year? Christmas? Just smile and skip them la..
P/s: I can foresee myself being the unfortunate one.(Coz my bf mum + grandma is such a KPO) so i confirm BTO! Good luck to you!
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actually, we got think, send her to old folks home before, but then, cancel the plan.
you know lah, how big is the flats, not much privacy can say.
good luck to you too, CfCJ.
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I agree, having a baby don't solve any problem and might even add more problem. First work towards having your own place before settle down to being a parent. Its always best NOT to stay with either side - own and in-law. I have learnt my lesson the hard way. I know not all family is the same, but still the best to enjoy each other company. Moreover, establishing better rapport with each other when baby comes along, both of you will be able to operate as a family on your own. Bonding between 2 parties are very important. As for your in-law, just ignore and tolerate for the time being. Not very good to think of sending her to old folks home just because she is irritating in your eyes. You may never know if anything is to happen, your hubby may blame you for life. Where she stays is your hubby's decision to make.
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athenasg, want to share your exprience, maybe I can learn a few from you later.
as a wife, I think, I still can make some decission related to the house problems, right ?
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The chinese saying goes home got one old people is the same as having a pot of gold. Some instead, some get a pot of shit.
By and large, we must first understand what is old. Since all of us will grow old one of these days, ask yourself, will you be what you are today when you are old? well, you could be thinking I got money, I can travel, enjoy life etc etc...but that is not the case, you may fall sick, go senile like some old uncles here and many other more pyschological and physical effects that will hamper your mental, vision and way of life.
Be nice to them, they need a listening ear, that is all, your action toward your older folk will protray an example for your children to follow, if you treat your old folks, be it your biological or in laws badly, you can bet that when you are old, your childrens will do it to you, because they see it as norm.
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move in with your parents then
then no more MIL woes for you
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my parent staying with my brother, married N got family, not so suitable staying with them.
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ask your PIL to move out to their other children
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my hubby, is the only son, where my MIL going to stay then ?
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Originally posted by Manmanlun:
my hubby, is the only son, where my MIL going to stay then ?
rent a house?
you can get a whole house around 2 - 2,5k
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can also, let us think N discuss this matter first.
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still the same, not much diff.
maybe my way of life N thinking is diff. then her.
dear all, can I ask you somethings or advice about s** if you OK 1 day later ?
how to control my "sound", I think is abit embrassing if she can hear, as she sleep next room to us.
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Originally posted by Manmanlun:
still the same, not much diff.
maybe my way of life N thinking is diff. then her.
dear all, can I ask you somethings or advice about s** if you OK 1 day later ?
how to control my "sound", I think is abit embrassing if she can hear, as she sleep next room to us.
Turn up the TV/Radio volume lor...
If cannot afford a TV/Radio in your room..the cheapest way.. just give your mom in law EAR plugs lah.
She complain again.. ask her point blank... " you want a grand child or not ? If yes.. then shuddup lah."
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funny, good ideas too, hahahahahaha
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Ear mufflers would be more effective than earplugs, especially aviation/industry models. More comfortable also.
Me used at poly before, so can attest to that.
Want cheaper method, try cover mouth with cloth/pillow/etc., or try biting/gagging something soft, if you don't mind...
Got people do that de...
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Originally posted by Jiani:
tell her play farmville
Haha ! Yea, tell her to play Farmville !! =) But on a more serious note - less than 10K is not a great gauge.. 5K is less than 10/k, 8K is also less than 10K. U can buy a place with a combined income of, well, "less than 10K" but I guess you don't want the financial burden associated with it. Unfortunately, we have to pick our battles in life - can't have your cake and eat it. U kind of have to decide which riles you more - stress from financial burden or your MIL.. Yr husband's reply sounds typical of someone wanting to end the topic; don't think of it as him taking her side, remember, he's lived with her all his life - the nagging, mahjong playing, interference are things he has been brgt up to live with and thus, something he's used to -
Originally posted by Manmanlun:
still the same, not much diff.
maybe my way of life N thinking is diff. then her.
dear all, can I ask you somethings or advice about s** if you OK 1 day later ?
how to control my "sound", I think is abit embrassing if she can hear, as she sleep next room to us.
aiyo yo, tangalci Manium, sound is good for older folks, your PIL will appreciate if you make more of those noise in bed, it help to rejuvenate your father in law sexual senses to make love with your MIL, ultimately, your MIL will be a more happier woman and be nice to you, make more noises lah.If like my sista jojo said, buy TV and video player, which is so cheap now a day, watch porn and up the volume, it can also help your PIL, even yr neighbour may like it. So are the cats and dogs.
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yes, he use to it all this already, I no see my FIL before, pass away when he still young, thats why he always side his mother, no matter what.
yes, think before moving out N buying another house, but he still thinking until now, how ?
so that means, dear sister, you all make "sound / noises" during that time too ?
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last time I also faced alot of problems w MIL
normally I try to stay out of the house
when she talk to me, I just ignore her
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Originally posted by Manmanlun:
yes, he use to it all this already, I no see my FIL before, pass away when he still young, thats why he always side his mother, no matter what.
yes, think before moving out N buying another house, but he still thinking until now, how ?
so that means, dear sister, you all make "sound / noises" during that time too ?
i dun make noises, sleep alone still make noises?? then something is very wrong liao.No FIL, that is why you got problem, with FIL around, he could had helped you, but nevermind tangal ci, every gals also got problem with MIL, afterall, you are going to be MIL too, funny how, all mother worry about their son getting con by another woman, that is part of woman jealousy and protecting instinct, if you really understand woman and their feeling, you will then understand why she behaves like this, from here, you can better communicate with her in knowing her concern, one of these days when your own son get married, you will feel the same, as some one of your own sex and taken your son, borne by you, brought up by you, love by you, care by you with your life, and suddenly this woman come around and took him away...cruel isn't it.
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yes, maybe who knows 1 day, I might be like my MIL now, will nag nag nag my future DIL later.