what am i to my dad?
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my dad seems to favour my younger siblings over me.he talks to them nicely, plays with them, talks to them. i'm not jealous, but i feel hurt.
the last time i told him about a problem i encountered in sch, he brushed the topic aside, and told me firmly to go shower because i was smelly and that i should be more hygenic, etc.
*ouch*
although i'm doing relatively better for my studies as compared to my siblings, i feel very left out and not appreciated and recently, i lost my motivation to study. and i found that i felt better when i was doing things for my cca, because i was being recognised, and the friends i have there are really appreciative and i feel a sense of accomplishment when events go well. however, this led to another problem because my dad has a issue with me coming back late, and recently, he told me "i don't care what you do in school, so long as you deliver the As" refering to my A levels which are coming, end of this year. it feels so demoralising, to hear that all my dad wants from me, are my "As".
please help.
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Your father is a husband, father, son, worker, businessman/supervisor etc.
He has many roles to play and can be very stress. This I can assure you that.Just think, if you have problem, you go to him. If he has stress, problem, difficulties, he goes to who?
Just concentrate on your coming exam, limeapplestick.
It is your future and is in your hands for you to shape!
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fathers are not celebrated on the media as much as women and mothers...
and u have every reason to put in more love and understanding of his role and painstaking silence all these years for you...
the saddest thing is that women and mothers have not officially uphold the celebration of fathers....but only to fight for their own security...
who should we blame but a lopsided gender system and the overly feministic medias in sg?
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i used to think like u also. hw does my own 爹 see me etc. my relationship with my 爹 also same as urs, or perhaps worse. same thing lo, he oso only jokes with my siblings ah talk to them ah all these for as long as i can rmb. and we rarely talk too, less than 100 sentences per year ba. machiam strangers liddat if u ask me. these few years then slowly better lo. stuffs happened and maybe we got talk slightly more. which gave me a feeling that perhaps im more important to him than what i think. maybe he really got see me as his son lo so i can tell u all 爹s care for their kids one la. maybe not in the way u'd like. like sayang ur head and ask u hows ur day ah? any problems in sch? got gf anot? or joke with u. but in the end they really do care for u la. the difference is show or no show oni. so dun think too much ur 爹 cares about u one. now go get As for ur exams and then 撒娇 to him when u get ur results.
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then why TS as an elder bro so special one ar? all are created from his father's sperm what...
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Since u r the 'lau-da', eldest child, I guessed he wants you to lead by example, behave better and more matured than yr siblings.
Maybe he is a guy who want to 'throw you in the deep end of the pool' and see how you perform.
Dun feel bad. Keep the communication line open, wide open. Keep talking to him even though he didnt response or reply. He will sense it one.
Dun just bring yr prob to him or ask questions. You shld also contribute some solutions & suggestions to everyday things. You must let him feel that you are PART OF THE TEAM.
Many parents face the same prob to communicate with teens or grown up or growing up...
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Remember: You are not alone. There are thousands of parents and people like you having the same prob.
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hmm.. not sure.. maybe your father likes you the elder son to be independent and mature, but your siblings he enjoy treating them as children to play with. He told you what he wants from you, that he thinks it is good for you, but never want to control your life or how you live your life. Mabye your father thinks you are not independent and mature enough, that's why he don't like to hear your problem and discuss it with you like a small boy. or you are not your father son.. oops.. anyway dont think too much..
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He wants you to be more of a tough guy and just deal with it,not go around asking people for help.
Just my two cents :)
Good Luck
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For this too, shall pass. One day when you become a parent, you may realise why. Right or wrong, you be your own judge.
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Originally posted by ChoCoChips:
i used to think like u also. hw does my own 爹 see me etc.
my relationship with my 爹 also same as urs, or perhaps worse.
same thing lo, he oso only jokes with my siblings ah talk to them ah all these for as long as i can rmb. and we rarely talk too, less than 100 sentences per year ba. machiam strangers liddat if u ask me.these few years then slowly better lo. stuffs happened and maybe we got talk slightly more. which gave me a feeling that perhaps im more important to him than what i think. maybe he really got see me as his son lo
so i can tell u
all 爹s care for their kids one la.
maybe not in the way u’d like.
like sayang ur head and ask u hows ur day ah? any problems in sch? got gf anot?
or joke with u.but in the end they really do care for u la.
the difference is show or no show oni.so dun think too much
ur 爹 cares about u one.
now go get As for ur exams and then 撒娇 to him when u get ur results.Haiz. You are pathetic. You know your father hates you and yet you speak of him caring about you.
All your father wants is for you to get high results and then you can buy a banglo for him to live in. He want you to pay back for all the expenses he paid for you.
But cibaikia like you, haiz, very disappointing, still hunger love from your father. No wonder your brother hates you.
Your crappy result make you end up in Poly diploma. And now you are a total failure. No wonder your father don't want to talk to you la.
Now we know why you always hang out with that littlemissbonkers because you need a fatherly figure from a monster which hide in the drain.
Your father don't like to talk to you, cibaikia, because you are a total failure, he got no face to look at you.
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Originally posted by Dr Language:
Haiz. You are pathetic. You know your father hates you and yet you speak of him caring about you.
All your father wants is for you to get high results and then you can buy a banglo for him to live in. He want you to pay back for all the expenses he paid for you.
But cibaikia like you, haiz, very disappointing, still hunger love from your father. No wonder your brother hates you.
Your crappy result make you end up in Poly diploma. And now you are a total failure. No wonder your father don't want to talk to you la.
Now we know why you always hang out with that littlemissbonkers because you need a fatherly figure from a monster which hide in the drain.
Your father don't like to talk to you, cibaikia, because you are a total failure, he got no face to look at you.
pls start your own thread if you want to people-bash.
dun worry, you don't need to be old enough to hold a IC to do that.
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Originally posted by Dr Language:
Haiz. You are pathetic. You know your father hates you and yet you speak of him caring about you.
All your father wants is for you to get high results and then you can buy a banglo for him to live in. He want you to pay back for all the expenses he paid for you.
But cibaikia like you, haiz, very disappointing, still hunger love from your father. No wonder your brother hates you.
Your crappy result make you end up in Poly diploma. And now you are a total failure. No wonder your father don't want to talk to you la.
Now we know why you always hang out with that littlemissbonkers because you need a fatherly figure from a monster which hide in the drain.
Your father don't like to talk to you, cibaikia, because you are a total failure, he got no face to look at you.
一看就知é�“ä½ æ²¡æœ‰è€�爸è€�妈 -
your dad cares about u alrdy, at least he care tat u get good grade.its for u, not for him leh. get good grades = get good job. i guess tats y he wants u haf "A"s. maybe he dunno how to express this so he say until he only care about u getting A only. u noe ar, tat old man at my hse, he is worser. he dun even care bout me. not at all. we almost nvr tok. he dun even ask about my studies, only scold me nia cos i always fight wif his precious son....
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Depend
You can find out what you are to your dad during the time when your mom and dad quarrel. Mostly, you mom will scold yr Dad, stupid pig, and your dad will scold your mom, bitch.
So you are either son of a bitxh or stupid pig
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haha.omg. i'm a girl la -.-
why you all think eldest = guy.
anw, thanks a lot! feel much better after reading all your replies.
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Originally posted by limeapplestick:
haha.omg. i'm a girl la -.-
why you all think eldest = guy.
anw, thanks a lot! feel much better after reading all your replies.
Good ! Remember u are better than Chocochips. Your father cares for you. I don't think anybody in life can get any better than the failure Chocochips of which even his father despise him. -
Originally posted by Dr Language:
Good ! Remember u are better than Chocochips. Your father cares for you. I don't think anybody in life can get any better than the failure Chocochips of which even his father despise him.Gosh! Even though I don't know you I think that you're an ill mannered immature brat!
You're spoiling all the threads with your nonsense!
Don't be a stupid pig k? Later your kids become sons/daughters of a stupid pig
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Originally posted by Dr Language:
Good ! Remember u are better than Chocochips. Your father cares for you. I don't think anybody in life can get any better than the failure Chocochips of which even his father despise him.for the record u dunno me.
my life is way better than urs la u fat fuck.
back pain still dare kpkb like u damn fierce.
and ur father dont despise u because u dont have one.
if anyone in life who cannot get better than its gotta be u.
æ»èƒ–å�.
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Originally posted by ChoCoChips:
for the record u dunno me.
my life is way better than urs la u fat fuck.
back pain still dare kpkb like u damn fierce.
and ur father dont despise u because u dont have one.
if anyone in life who cannot get better than its gotta be u.
æ»èƒ–å�.
Haiz, cibaikia will always be cibaikia.
Mr Chocochips, your father hate you so much, its better you don't have any father. Maybe its because you are a illegitimate son. Must be some affair somewhere, pick up from the rubbish bin. Yeeh, so dirty must come from the dungeons of geylang.
my back pain recover already. On sunday i went to play basket ball with friends.
Why so angry? Go to Angel bar and drown your sorrows la.
I don't need to know you well, because you are a cibaikia. Only cibaikias like you touch your own brother.
Your father thinks you are a boring nerd, a failure in leading yer brothers, that is why he doesn't want to talk to you. Your results suck and you are a disappointment.
Don't blame me for your relationship failures. If you want to swear you should swear at yourself - fucking gambling addict.
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Originally posted by Dr Language:
Haiz, cibaikia will always be cibaikia.
Mr Chocochips, your father hate you so much, its better you don't have any father. Maybe its because you are a illegitimate son. Must be some affair somewhere, pick up from the rubbish bin. Yeeh, so dirty must come from the dungeons of geylang.
my back pain recover already. On sunday i went to play basket ball with friends.
Why so angry? Go to Angel bar and drown your sorrows la.
I don't need to know you well, because you are a cibaikia. Only cibaikias like you touch your own brother.
Your father thinks you are a boring nerd, a failure in leading yer brothers, that is why he doesn't want to talk to you. Your results suck and you are a disappointment.
Don't blame me for your relationship failures. If you want to swear you should swear at yourself - fucking gambling addict.
1. sorry, unlike u my father dont hate me. but perhaps u rly no parents one.
2. sorry, maybe u have parents. but really sibeh hard to tell sia from ur behaviour. cuz u behaved like u got parents to bring u to the world but no parents to teach. so i dont blame u for behaving like this and for stealing people wife. but if they got try to teach u then whos fault is it? ur useless parents for failing to teach u or u are jus too fucked up to learn how to be a decent person?
3. im nt angry at u. cuz obviously u dunno anything (what do u noe anyway?) and anyhow shoot only. like what ur father did to have u.
4. how to be even more disappointing in life than u? if theres a grade to rank guys attractiveness u are prolly right at the bottom. no career no money no looks no character no qualifications
5. any fat fuck can bounce a ball and claim to be playing basketball. u are still a fat fuck. 95 kg fat fuck
sorry again, u are really a loser. have a nice day.
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Hello limeapplestick! ^^ Unfortunately I am in the same situation as you as well. I cannot help but to think that maybe my father prefers my brothers more. =( Sometimes I wish he can talk to me more. =( And why did Mr Dr Language pick on ChoCoChips? Please stop thread hijacking you two.
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limeapplestick, Whatever we or you think are the reasons, it does not matter. Maybe you are the oldest and during those years, he was learning how to show love, and did not know how to? Maybe he expects you to lead by example? It really does not matter. Just do what you need to do. I can see you are a very responsible and nice person. Continue to do so. He loves you la. I can feel it. I love my daughter too, but sometimes, I forgot and I nag at her also "Why dont't study? watch YouTube foe what? YouTube can give you A's meh?" as But I love her, and am trying to be nice. It doesn't matter what others feell about you. Just feel that you're a lovable person. You control your happiness. Don't let others take that control. Keep smiling.
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More interaction through family activities? Maybe you can find time to talk to your dad about it? My dad used to be in bad terms with my sister. But over the years, especially after she got married and my dad kanna heart disease, their thinking changed and the relationship between them just get better.. Learn to take initiative to communicate with your dad. Buy his favourite food for him. Buy some clothes. Just learn to por him abit.haha..
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haha... i used to feel that same way too because my dad always compares me with my bro and that favouritism still shows quite evidently. But as time passes it onli makes me realise more than what matters is how u see urself. TS i hope u realise that what's important is how you see yourself and not how your dad sees you. It can be kinda sad that all he wants is As from you but just take it positively and not let him affect you.It is only important on how you see yourself and not others.