Husband wants divorce after 5mths
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Need some light on why man can change that fast.. We just had our wedding 5 mths ago . No quarrel for the past mths. My husband invited his friends to our place for mahjong and I told him to end at 1am.. We had quarrels previously on mahjong, coz he always come back late. So Usually I ask him to be done by 1am. Today, he behave like he has brain freeze and insisted that he does not know if they will end at 1,2 or 3am. I am very pissed and asked him if he wants me to text them to find out. I went ahead ahead with it since he said I can. But after I sent, he says he will end the relationship and divorce me if I text his friend. He took his laptop, left the house. Came back agin to take his shoes and his essentials. I confronted if he really wants a divorce. He replied there is no way he can get along with me. He says that I threaten him and that he is pressurized even with playing mahjong. For goodness sake, he is challenging me when he says they may be up till 2,3am. I was really surprised.. We were still talking about having a baby days ago.. He was even talking abt it to his mum.. I am very disappointed that the word divorce can be mentioned so freely.. This is his 2nd marriage & we been through a lot to be together.. I did not stop him from doing anything, except that he is to watch his time.. I am wondering if he actually not want this marriage all the while.. I
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is it this one?
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Yes.
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You can marry me if your husband really divorce you.
I don't play mahjong
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then not surprising
the problems were since way back
not suddenly like tt after 5 mths, rite?
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Originally posted by Carb:
Need some light on why man can change that fast.. We just had our wedding 5 mths ago . No quarrel for the past mths. My husband invited his friends to our place for mahjong and I told him to end at 1am.. We had quarrels previously on mahjong, coz he always come back late. So Usually I ask him to be done by 1am.
Today, he behave like he has brain freeze and insisted that he does not know if they will end at 1,2 or 3am. I am very pissed and asked him if he wants me to text them to find out. I went ahead ahead with it since he said I can. But after I sent, he says he will end the relationship and divorce me if I text his friend.
He took his laptop, left the house. Came back agin to take his shoes and his essentials. I confronted if he really wants a divorce. He replied there is no way he can get along with me. He says that I threaten him and that he is pressurized even with playing mahjong. For goodness sake, he is challenging me when he says they may be up till 2,3am.
I was really surprised.. We were still talking about having a baby days ago.. He was even talking abt it to his mum..
I am very disappointed that the word divorce can be mentioned so freely.. This is his 2nd marriage & we been through a lot to be together..
I did not stop him from doing anything, except that he is to watch his time..
I am wondering if he actually not want this marriage all the while..
I
He divorced his wife.. probably for the same reason with you.
He did once.. he can do it again.
You should have known better... what makes you think he will treat you different this time round ? Are you really so special ?
If you want this marriage to work.. you need to relinquish control.
If you ever have a baby with him.. remember this... you will be like living like a single mother... he will not be in your life.. nor his baby life much of the time.
You cannot change a man, he must want to change himself.
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I have asked him to think it thru before the wedding.. Everything is on the table and I repeated many times That divorce is the lad thing I can accept.. My mum is married thrice.. The thing is this thing about mahjong is so trivial to lead to a divorce but yet he blurt it out.. I felt like a joke..
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the mahjong thing. can't each take a step back?
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Originally posted by FireIce:
is it this one?
You are amazing.
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Originally posted by charlize:
You are amazing.
Nothing amazing for fireice who everyday come sgforum to stalk and ban people. She knows everything about everybody in sgforum -
Abt the mahjong, i have always asked him to end at 1am.. Is 1am too early? His friends wife show them her angry face when they played at her place.. I don't wanna do that, that's why I set a time instead But then again, divorce coz of mahjong? Wat the fish..
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Originally posted by Carb:
I have asked him to think it thru before the wedding.. Everything is on the table and I repeated many times That divorce is the lad thing I can accept.. My mum is married thrice..
The thing is this thing about mahjong is so trivial to lead to a divorce but yet he blurt it out.. I felt like a joke..
If the mahjong issue is so trivial..then you should not have made such a big deal out of it.
You started the battle.. now you blame him for the end ?
Even if you refuse to accept a divorce.. he can still divorce you.
Marriage is a mutual thing.. but divorce can be initiated from either side.
Stop being a control freak.. and there will be peace.
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Originally posted by Carb:
Abt the mahjong, i have always asked him to end at 1am.. Is 1am too early? His friends wife show them her angry face when they played at her place.. I don’t wanna do that, that’s why I set a time instead
But then again, divorce coz of mahjong? Wat the fish..1am too early ? depends on what time you started and how many people taking turns.
My friends play mahjong 24 hours... throughout the weekends.
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Originally posted by Carb:
But then again, divorce coz of mahjong? Wat the fish..
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I didn't start it.. I just tell him to end as early as possible.. But he kept challenging me that he don't know.. And when I question him if it will be be 2 am he continues to says he doesn't know.. That's when I know he is out to trigger me .. He knows I can't take it if there is mahjong at 2 3am.. We are not staying at landed property for goodness sake.
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if divorce he have to give her half of his assets and monthly maintenance, not worth it for him
But than again he maybe a peniless person and have nothing much to give..
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its more than mahjong...a growing personality disorder with increasing addiction to the game...perhaps
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Originally posted by Carb:
I didn’t start it.. I just tell him to end as early as possible.. But he kept challenging me that he don’t know.. And when I question him if it will be be 2 am he continues to says he doesn’t know.. That’s when I know he is out to trigger me .. He knows I can’t take it if there is mahjong at 2 3am.. We are not staying at landed property for goodness sake.
He does not need to listen to your command. You are not his mother.
He busy play mahjong.. then you go out have fun with your own friend.
The more you pressure him.. the more he wants to piss you off.. so try to back off.. learn to pick your battles.
I think the problem is you are too clingy and needy for his attention. That's why you keep trying to control him.
Sorry to say this.. but both your personality clashes from the beginning..and it only means divorce unless one/both of you relent.
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He is not addicted to mahjong.. He doesn't have specific hobby, so plays occasionally.. They all have kids and wifives are all unhappy when they play late mahjong..call and nag them. I never call him when he plays mahjong at others place.. I just need peace at my home. Apparantly, now he wants them to come and play till waterer time they like..this is not what I can accept.. I need weekend to rest.. But he claim I have rested the whole morning.
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I did exactly that.. I don't join him if he has dinner, drinking, mahjong w his friends. He asked me to join sometimes but i am not interested. I am happy to go out w my own fens or just stay home. In fact he is the one who complains in the beginning when I went out w my frns. I just can't take the noise level of mahjong and I don't understand why it can't stop at 1am
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Originally posted by Carb:
He is not addicted to mahjong.. He doesn’t have specific hobby, so plays occasionally.. They all have kids and wifives are all unhappy when they play late mahjong..call and nag them. I never call him when he plays mahjong at others place.. I just need peace at my home.
Apparantly, now he wants them to come and play till waterer time they like..this is not what I can accept.. I need weekend to rest.. But he claim I have rested the whole morning.
That's just his means of socialising.
Yes, other wifeys are unhappy.. that's their own problem. They will deal with it on their own. You don't have to behave like them.
If he wants to host the mahjong gathering.. let him...his friends will be so envious your husband has such a gracious wife.
Whenever you have guest... be a good host.If you cannot stand the buzzing... leave your house.. and spend the night at your parents's.
The thin line between .... Peace at your home... or boredom in your life/marriage.
You are a couch potato.. he has ADHD.
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Originally posted by Carb:
He is not addicted to mahjong.. He doesn’t have specific hobby, so plays occasionally.. They all have kids and wifives are all unhappy when they play late mahjong..call and nag them. I never call him when he plays mahjong at others place.. I just need peace at my home.
Apparantly, now he wants them to come and play till waterer time they like..this is not what I can accept.. I need weekend to rest.. But he claim I have rested the whole morning.
Just give and take and calm down. It will blow over.
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Originally posted by Carb:
I did exactly that..
I don’t join him if he has dinner, drinking, mahjong w his friends. He asked me to join sometimes but i am not interested. I am happy to go out w my own fens or just stay home.
In fact he is the one who complains in the beginning when I went out w my frns.
I just can’t take the noise level of mahjong and I don’t understand why it can’t stop at 1am
You don't have to understand why it can't stop. It's just he does not want to.
Better your house.. than someone else's or worst.. a mahjong den. Pick the lesser of evils.
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Your husband will also get sick of playing mahjong after a while.
Lee Kuan Yew also out of cabinet, your husband will also stop his mahjong game. It's just a matter of time.
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I can't be someone i am not. Not these gracious type of wife for sure. And Precisely I don't wanna quarrel in front of his friends, that's why I wanna tell him my limits. Instead, he complain he is pressurized etc.. And its once in a blue moon mahjong..Frankly He has been unhappy with his job and has brought the grudges back home for a long while.. His mum asked recently how I can manage his temper.. And I am not feeling good abt all his crap.. I don't quite under std.. Isn't our partner suppose to put effort and not burden the other party with too much worries.. I seldom told him abt my worries.. I felt like I m the one absorbing all this while..