How to tackle this problem?
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Right here waiting,
There are times when you are blind to the gal standing just next to you, because you do not hv the confident in yourself, can be yr age, yr look, yr image, yr career and yr other habit which in long term singlehood, have nurtured you to be inward and internalise within yourself, everything you see in term of relation is a no hope ending, that mindset have to change.
I already have a good female fren....she is my best fren and I'm her best fren too....She was married already...I'm so happy for her....
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As usual, for you this type of people, happy on the outside, sad on the inside.
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Yes, I do understand that love is a very complicated thing to understand, may be in another 1000, no one will understands it. I'm just doing what I can to accompany her, help her, stay along with her through the hardship. Although it doesn't matter if we got together or not at the end of the day, but deep inside myself, I want to be together with her as an official couple.
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Then you go on do charity work for her lor, life is yours, up to you to decide.
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Originally posted by henshin:
Yes, I do understand that love is a very complicated thing to understand, may be in another 1000, no one will understands it. I’m just doing what I can to accompany her, help her, stay along with her through the hardship. Although it doesn’t matter if we got together or not at the end of the day, but deep inside myself, I want to be together with her as an official couple.
Aiyoh can you just treat her as a sister or best fren ? Why still infatuated with her? Some day she may find another guy to "officially" be her BF, then what will happen to you ?
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He keep thinking of wanting to have sex with her, how to treat her as sister or best fren?? you a guy dun really understand a guy better than me.
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I don't know how you got the idea, but I never thought of having sex with her or something. To me, love is a spiritual thing, sex is just something physical and only when both party love each other and responsible to have a child. Current stage of mine, I don't think of that.
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Originally posted by henshin:
I don’t know how you got the idea, but I never thought of having sex with her or something. To me, love is a spiritual thing, sex is just something physical and only when both party love each other and responsible to have a child. Current stage of mine, I don’t think of that.
So what exactly you want from her ?
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I don't know either, I don't know if I want to be together with her or just want her to be happy, a mixed feeling.
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Hello, love is not a fun fair game where you throw the dart and hope you hit the right place hor.
For those who had mix feeling, suggest they give up altogether, with regard to Love, you must be focus on what you want and work on it, even if it fail, you can truly tell yourselves you had tried your best. Those half hearted ones who do not know which direction and not in focus, forget it, free come my pub, i serve you my taiwan Sunlight fruit drink with volka, a new cocktail i just invented
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Originally posted by henshin:
I don’t know either, I don’t know if I want to be together with her or just want her to be happy, a mixed feeling.
How many years have you wasted on her ? Aiyoh you dun like other gal meh? Maybe you should try to date other gal? You seems like spending toooo much time on her leh....are you happy ?
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Yeah, 3 years already. Sometime I'm happy just to talk to her, but sometime thinking that despite all that, we aren't together yet, that makes me quite depressed at times.
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Originally posted by henshin:
Yeah, 3 years already. Sometime I’m happy just to talk to her, but sometime thinking that despite all that, we aren’t together yet, that makes me quite depressed at times.
Good to know that you are happy....life is short, choose happiness....good luck to your BGR...I certainly hope your efforts will bear fruits !
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ya, but please ensure that what ever fruit you bear, dun bear those rotton ones that can be a nuisance to the society instead of helping it.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
ya, but please ensure that what ever fruit you bear, dun bear those rotton ones that can be a nuisance to the society instead of helping it.
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If you decide to be the good guy, then you just have to bear the consequences. The hard fact is, she treats you like a friend and no more. So just draw your own boundary never fall into the trap of loving a girl that doesnt love you.
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Its hard to find love nowadays, even harder to find someone who loves you back....
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It seems like this gal is waiting/looking for someone with not so much of an age gap of 5 years. Since there is this guy that falls head over heels with her, why not just enjoy the attention and at the same time lookout for other guys. Else, frankly, if she truly likes you, it will not have been dragged for 3 years and still no result. She already told you twice she only treats you as good friend or a brother. It will be best that you too are keeping your option open. It is you who are not willing to let go, that you can't see there are other potential gals around. Why not play the devil adovate? Withdraw partially and reject her occassionally and see how's the reaction. If there is nothing, then you are sure to know she simply just want you to be a brother to her. Or, as she has been brought in a single family, she may not feel confident enough to be in a relationship. So either you chase her till she gets involved in a relationship with another guy and take the risk of heartbreak, or, you give yourself some option to look around too.
At the end, its about choice and consequence. If you choose A to woo her till she end up in another man's arm, rejected and heart-break, or choose B woo and still look out but the conseqence will be different.
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Yes, she was brought up in a single parents family, but I'm not sure about if it affected her confidence in relationship.
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As a guy, you should be able to judge the situation, if I do not love a guy, I will tell him after chopping him clean and dry, I will not hesitate to tell him that I do not love him so that he can go on with his life and find another suitable partner, it is no good for gal to let a guy wait wait until hair bald and face wrinkled, by that time, only foreign gals like PRC, Viet, Thai and pinoy may only want you, but with no love, but to chop you further. As said, life is yours, if you choose to go on and waste your life on someone that has no affection and playing hide and seek with you, by all means, as long as you are happy with it.
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"Last month, I went to a fortune teller with kelvin and terry, the master said that the girl for my life already appeared, but the timing is not ripe yet. This was the same thing being told to me when I go to goddess of mercy temple before I enlist to 求簽, the girl is already here, but not the right time yet."
seems like no matter what we say TS is willing to wait for this girl.
What the above statement means that the girl you liked had not yet experience enough bad guys out there in order to learn to treasure a nice guy like you.
In life, the girl you like may feels that you are not the one yet, cause there is something more she wants. She may feel that you are not handsome, rich or bad enough for her. Sorry bro to her you are just a back-up in case anything happens she can come back to you. Sadly this is the path the you have chosen and it may even last up 20 to 30 years without the girl liking him at all.
For what I have seen, the longest wait for a guy is around 11 years, in the end he give up.
I am not asking you to give up, but since you want to wait why not work harder to earn more money.
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perhaps so, I don't know whether it's the right path or not, but I think I won't regret walking this path.
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love affair/realtionship, there is no right and wrong - just happy do , happy accept
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Love abides when there are no reasons to love, no fears to love. Many confuse needs (expectations) to be love which is not. Till that anomaly within oneself is unreconciled one is always accidental. It is alright to have needs but it has to be acknowledged within oneself and when it is not forthcoming from another or needs are not fulfilled the responsibility is one's own. Of course, all of us go thru phases but better to risk and if one gets hurt in that process so what. Growing old is playing careful, playing it safe and always on the lookout for what can go wrong. Growing up is taking ti all and despite the mistakes,mishaps and what-not it is really living. There is no secruity in love but what good is a relationship/marriage when it has the permanency (security) of a dead cemetery!
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the math doesnt add up properly.
you know her for 4 years 'friend' thing, you're older than her by 5 years.
you entered ns at 20? which means she is 11?