So.. I'm 17. i met this guy about 3months back. He's 19. We initially started off as friends but as time passed we starting growing closer. (Like super close, everyday will talk no matter what, goodnight smses etcetc) I went out with him afew times(as a friend la) and he hugged me and gave me those fuzzy feeling. So naturally i started to like him la. He isn't as financially stable as me and you could say that his education is ok lor. So afew days back, i finally mustered some courage and asked him. What i got was, ''I have this special feeling, but somehow i feel a barrier.'' and '' Even if you're not my gf, we will still be best friends.''
I know, normally when a guy isnt financially stable or has better education then a girl, they develop some kind of inferiority complex(of some sort). But you know, if i went for looks or money i wouldnt even be here asking this question liao. So.. What should i do?
*edit*
He has told me he liked me before, so i dont think its one sided ba.
Originally posted by dontknowwhatusername:So.. I'm 17. i met this guy about 3months back. He's 19. We initially started off as friends but as time passed we starting growing closer. (Like super close, everyday will talk no matter what, goodnight smses etcetc) I went out with him afew times(as a friend la) and he hugged me and gave me those fuzzy feeling. So naturally i started to like him la. He isn't as financially stable as me and you could say that his education is ok lor. So afew days back, i finally mustered some courage and asked him. What i got was, ''I have this special feeling, but somehow i feel a barrier.'' and '' Even if you're not my gf, we will still be best friends.''
I know, normally when a guy isnt financially stable or has better education then a girl, they develop some kind of inferiority complex(of some sort). But you know, if i went for looks or money i wouldnt even be here asking this question liao. So.. What should i do?
That is very clear alredy lah girl. He is not into you, gettit ?
Yah lah.. he give you fuzzy feeling.. but he did not feel the "connection" with you. OK ?
Your feeling is one sided lah...lucky he never ask you to be his F buddy hor.
i forget add that he got tell me he like me before. i dont think he is that type one that will ask me be F buddy one la.
I wonder if you have watched the movie - he's not that into you.. Maybe he's got you on the hook. Needs a girl friend not a gf (probably he doesn't want to commit) just to talk to. Needs some one to like him more than he likes you. Giving him security.. Another girl in his mind? Just my thoughts..
Originally posted by dontknowwhatusername:i forget add that he got tell me he like me before. i dont think he is that type one that will ask me be F buddy one la.
Just because he got no looks and no money.. does not means he got no MINIMUM standard he wants ok.
He is probably still looking for his princess.. wait till he realise what he can get and what he cannot .. then you will definitely know lah..
At this phase in time... he's still LOOKING..hoping.. looking...hoping.. loooking.. zzzzz...can't make up his mind yet lah... keep you in his list.. in case one day.. you may come in handy OK ? Good.
I disagree with jojobeach. I believe that your boyfriend sincerely likes you.
Men have a propensity to unexpress themselves so what proceeds from their mouth may be insensitive.
From the little u described I also do not feel that he has another gf.
If u let this relationship carry on, you will find out what he is actually thinking.
Later on, but not now, tell him 'I have been honest with u all the time. I want u to be honest with me about all that is in your mind'.
Bec I'm gay, I know roughly how a woman and a man thinks. Both are wired differently and it takes effort to make a relationship work. Even if I am wrong about him, so what? There are other good men around rite?
I met this type of guy many times, I called them no balls men
i think this guy is juz enjoying the 'intimate' feeling with you. Guys usually like this kind of feelings.
It does not matter what the guy thinks, TS already loves him too much to give him up.
Let me give some more info.. He mentioned that a week back he started to think alot about us, and given his situation(financial/education/no future blahblah), felt that its the best to stay as friends. He's been hanging out with me alot, be it online or offline, so i dont think he has another girl in mind ba..
For now, i just want to know what to do. Should i move away? Should i stay and wait? We have so much in common and i really do not want to lose him. I think he might think that he isnt good enough for me, but honestly, i dont care about stuff like this. He might sound bad by the way i phrase my words, but he really isnt.
Originally posted by Bhw33:I disagree with jojobeach. I believe that your boyfriend sincerely likes you.
Men have a propensity to unexpress themselves so what proceeds from their mouth may be insensitive.
From the little u described I also do not feel that he has another gf.
If u let this relationship carry on, you will find out what he is actually thinking.
Later on, but not now, tell him 'I have been honest with u all the time. I want u to be honest with me about all that is in your mind'.
Bec I'm gay, I know roughly how a woman and a man thinks. Both are wired differently and it takes effort to make a relationship work. Even if I am wrong about him, so what? There are other good men around rite?
yeah, he doesnt have a gf. been arounddd.. 3years since he had one. you know, he has never really told me upfront if he liked me or not, he just says it indirectly. I wanna know how i can slowly open him up, so at least when i know his real feelings, i can decided from then on
Originally posted by jojobeach:Just because he got no looks and no money.. does not means he got no MINIMUM standard he wants ok.
He is probably still looking for his princess.. wait till he realise what he can get and what he cannot .. then you will definitely know lah..
At this phase in time... he's still LOOKING..hoping.. looking...hoping.. loooking.. zzzzz...can't make up his mind yet lah... keep you in his list.. in case one day.. you may come in handy OK ? Good.
i never said he had no minimum standards. Maybe he is still looking.. But why bother to spend so much time with me, and not use this time to go and know some more girls?
he is feeling insecure.
I shall assume he's singaporean, and is due to serve ns very soon, or might already be serving.
and because of that, he is worried that he might not have the financial means to support the relationship, and therefore, wants to avoid having a relationship in the near future. ie. no man will want his girl to pay for him on a date.
And also, IF he is due to serve NS, he might be worried about the strain army life have on any relationships. Many couple broke up due to the separation brought about by ns.
He might be waiting until he is financially stable and have the time and money to pursue and sustain a relationship, and therefore not being ready to begin a relationship now.
I suggest, if you really like him, and wish to give him a chance, just tell him that you don't mind his financial stability and is willing to overlook this. Make him feel more confident about himself.
All the best!
Originally posted by deathmaster:he is feeling insecure.
I shall assume he's singaporean, and is due to serve ns very soon, or might already be serving.
and because of that, he is worried that he might not have the financial means to support the relationship, and therefore, wants to avoid having a relationship in the near future. ie. no man will want his girl to pay for him on a date.
And also, IF he is due to serve NS, he might be worried about the strain army life have on any relationships. Many couple broke up due to the separation brought about by ns.
He might be waiting until he is financially stable and have the time and money to pursue and sustain a relationship, and therefore not being ready to begin a relationship now.
I suggest, if you really like him, and wish to give him a chance, just tell him that you don't mind his financial stability and is willing to overlook this. Make him feel more confident about himself.
All the best!
He is in his 2nd year of poly actually. But thank you for the advice.. You made me feel much better. I want to give us a chance.
What i got was, ''I have this special feeling, but somehow i feel a barrier.'' and '' Even if you're not my gf, we will still be best friends.''
i have this special feeling - this is good. Special feeling, in other words, he does not have this kind of feeling with anyone else before. He only feels this way when he's with you. If you are just plainly his friend, the feeling aint going to be special right?
somehow i feel a barrier - i suppose this barrier is referring to his financial status, education as opposed to yours. Barriers as such only exist when a party feels inferior/superior to another party. In this case, you can make it clear to him that it does not matter to you. However, you will have to be careful not to hurt his ego in the process of doing that. Tell him, seriously, you don't give a damn about this. That is if his 'barrier' is referring to financial status, education etc..
Even if you're not my gf, we will still be best friends - I don't like this sentence. Don't we find this familiar? It is like another way of saying you are just not my type, let's not cross over the best friend's line. Well i might be wrong..
My advice to you is to open your eyes bigger and observe. You might just be on his hook. Yea, wait for him to open up a little, perhaps he is still deciding, don't want to commit, yet don't want to end it.
Personally i don't feel very positive about this one.
Originally posted by angel7030:I met this type of guy many times, I called them no balls men
So are you suggesting that a guy like him should express his feelings for her when he's unsure of it?
Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes.
Originally posted by dontknowwhatusername:So.. I'm 17. i met this guy about 3months back. He's 19. We initially started off as friends but as time passed we starting growing closer. (Like super close, everyday will talk no matter what, goodnight smses etcetc) I went out with him afew times(as a friend la) and he hugged me and gave me those fuzzy feeling. So naturally i started to like him la. He isn't as financially stable as me and you could say that his education is ok lor. So afew days back, i finally mustered some courage and asked him. What i got was, ''I have this special feeling, but somehow i feel a barrier.'' and '' Even if you're not my gf, we will still be best friends.''
I know, normally when a guy isnt financially stable or has better education then a girl, they develop some kind of inferiority complex(of some sort). But you know, if i went for looks or money i wouldnt even be here asking this question liao. So.. What should i do?
*edit*
He has told me he liked me before, so i dont think its one sided ba.
You asked, so he answered. As best he could. A bit unsure, a bit trying to impress you.
Don't mind that too much, its just at the begining stages. With time the bonding will develop or falter.
Just wait and see.
If you think negatively, then you will look out for such proof, and the relationship will surely fail. Just don't think about it anymore.
Go on as if you never asked.
Originally posted by deathmaster:he is feeling insecure.
I shall assume he's singaporean, and is due to serve ns very soon, or might already be serving.
and because of that, he is worried that he might not have the financial means to support the relationship, and therefore, wants to avoid having a relationship in the near future. ie. no man will want his girl to pay for him on a date.
And also, IF he is due to serve NS, he might be worried about the strain army life have on any relationships. Many couple broke up due to the separation brought about by ns.
He might be waiting until he is financially stable and have the time and money to pursue and sustain a relationship, and therefore not being ready to begin a relationship now.
I suggest, if you really like him, and wish to give him a chance, just tell him that you don't mind his financial stability and is willing to overlook this. Make him feel more confident about himself.
All the best!
Haiz... this kind of advise ....
Another young life wasted.. men are so selfish..
cannot commit say cannot commit lah... wtf...
Why guys like to string along innocent young girls all the time har...
Originally posted by dontknowwhatusername:He is in his 2nd year of poly actually. But thank you for the advice.. You made me feel much better. I want to give us a chance.
Girl.. don't put your life on hold for a dick please.
There are LOTS of men who are ready for a relationship..
He cannot make up his mind.. no balls.. TOO BAD.
Go out there and SOCIALISE. Get to know more guys.. then you will realise this one is a dud. I'm not kidding.
Unless you are very fat/ugly, low self-esteem..no self-confidence.. then ok lah.. sit at home .. cross your fingers and wait for miracles to happen...
face the facts. he's not into u.
but if u pester him long enough, things might change.
stop deceiving urself girl. 1st u said that he's told u that he likes u.
den u go on to say that he indirectly said so, which was an assumption on your part.
My advise to you is to not look for a relationship, but to go with the flow. you're still young. No need to start panicking yet.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Girl.. don't put your life on hold for a dick please.
There are LOTS of men who are ready for a relationship..
He cannot make up his mind.. no balls.. TOO BAD.
Go out there and SOCIALISE. Get to know more guys.. then you will realise this one is a dud. I'm not kidding.
Unless you are very fat/ugly, low self-esteem..no self-confidence.. then ok lah.. sit at home .. cross your fingers and wait for miracles to happen...
haha, exactly, no balls men! no balls men!!! no balls men!!
Why not TS pm me his nos, i can go and disturb him, be friend with him, then later dump him, see how he feels.
19yo and 17yo met 3 months.
and women with sexual hang ups giving some advice.