Hey TS, your story quite interesting so I will try to reply to the best of my ability. I think the end result of your situation is very simple, you will leave with your husband, and your child will be raised up together with him. That is the only situation I see that is good and you will be happy with, so don't even think about letting your daughter be brought up by your mum.
You cannot let your mum keep your granddaughter, because children must live and be brought up by their own parents, unless there is a major difficulty. If you want your child to grow up happy, then you must take her with you to be brought up with your husband.
But of course, there is the mother issue. The most ideal situation is your mum let your daughter go in peace, correct? So you must try to understand why she wants to keep your daughter. Maybe she thinks that if she keep your daughter, she will also keep you, and she secretly just don't want to lose you? You can try to talk to her to find out the truth, but I assure you she is not trying to be difficult, it's just that she doesn't know how to communicate her feelings, and only can let it out as anger. Meanwhile you and your hubby must put on your best behaviour towards her, so that she cannot fault you. If u keep on treating her nice, how can she complain? Very soon she will also agree to let your daughter leave with you in peace. LIke some others say, you can promise to visit her lah. Absence makes the heart fonder mah, maybe after you leave the relationship will improve also.
Alots of women in Singapore get cheated, dumped and casted. And funny how, they still want it, from one failed relation which end in great saddness, the next day, they start to look for new love, tho I am a gal, i simply do not understand women here, are they plain stupid or most have severe post natal depression that even a printer also want to argue??
Originally posted by angel7030:Alots of women in Singapore get cheated, dumped and casted. And funny how, they still want it, from one failed relation which end in great saddness, the next day, they start to look for new love, tho I am a gal, i simply do not understand women here, are they plain stupid or most have severe post natal depression that even a printer also want to argue??
Angel can be worst hor !!!
Can give birth to a daughter then divorce.Then daughter grew up relationship failed got pregancy come stay at your house - free stay ,eat and shit. Still have to look after baby for her.
3 year later, she find another man, super eager to move out nevermind. Even a printer also gone !!!
That is worst off ;)
Since you call her your 'princess', that mean she really meant for you. So, why letting her away from you? I strongly advise that keep her right beside you wherever you are.
i'd been having a hard time to protect my little prince to stay by my side too. Even untill now, the problems still on going like unstoppable one 'coz my sis-in-law (a spy) is still living with us. My parents-in-law always blame me for keeping my son with me and don't let them take him back to M'sia. Even my husband blame me for not respecting his parent by doing so.
No matter what, i'm still standing hard on my own position - keep my little prince with me.
Don't ever leave your own child behind. If you would do so, why do you bring her to this world at the first point?? Now you brought her to this world, that mean you want her. Why you want to leave her with other people?? ----this is what in my mind.
You don't habe to feel bad for your mom. She has to be understanding in this situation. Ask if she can think about it on your side.
Originally posted by Singularity123:Jojo,
I do feel sad for your girl by having just one ignorant mum. =)
My point here is never to argue how much my mum did and how much I did. Thanks Blueblade for highlighting my concern and that is to peacefully get my girl back.
There're much stories to tell and like I've emphasized what I had done or what she had done. It doesn't matter to me because she hasn't been part of my life anyway. Sorry for being too blunt for that sentence but guess that's what she has made me felt throughout the years.
I'm glad for everyone who has told me that it's only right that I get my own girl back and I guess that's sufficient for me ya. =D
Not here to say who is giving right or wrong advices and not here to be accused or judged because whoever did so, is not God and may not judge. =)
Well..... I certainly see you doing a lot of judging yourself.
Your daugter should certainly live and grow up with you and your husband. But by completely dismissing your mother, whom you turned to for the past 3 years when you were in need, is not fair either.
I urge you to be a 'bigger' person and try being a little more understanding. You may feel a lot of anger and hatred for your mom, but until you let go of the past and your hatred, you won't become the 'great' mom that you could be for your daughter.
Originally posted by Singularity123:Jojo,
I do feel sad for your girl by having just one ignorant mum. =)
My point here is never to argue how much my mum did and how much I did. Thanks Blueblade for highlighting my concern and that is to peacefully get my girl back.
There're much stories to tell and like I've emphasized what I had done or what she had done. It doesn't matter to me because she hasn't been part of my life anyway. Sorry for being too blunt for that sentence but guess that's what she has made me felt throughout the years.
I'm glad for everyone who has told me that it's only right that I get my own girl back and I guess that's sufficient for me ya. =D
Not here to say who is giving right or wrong advices and not here to be accused or judged because whoever did so, is not God and may not judge. =)
Girl, you don't have to get all defensive.
You are a mother now.. your daughter/childrens will judge you the way you judge your own mother.
I just hope you are a better person than your own mother...
Originally posted by Happilyeverafter:Since you call her your 'princess', that mean she really meant for you. So, why letting her away from you? I strongly advise that keep her right beside you wherever you are.
i'd been having a hard time to protect my little prince to stay by my side too. Even untill now, the problems still on going like unstoppable one 'coz my sis-in-law (a spy) is still living with us. My parents-in-law always blame me for keeping my son with me and don't let them take him back to M'sia. Even my husband blame me for not respecting his parent by doing so.
No matter what, i'm still standing hard on my own position - keep my little prince with me.
Don't ever leave your own child behind. If you would do so, why do you bring her to this world at the first point?? Now you brought her to this world, that mean you want her. Why you want to leave her with other people?? ----this is what in my mind.
You don't habe to feel bad for your mom. She has to be understanding in this situation. Ask if she can think about it on your side.
Isn't it weird how in-laws and other family members think they have the right to take your child away from the mother ?
Like they think you are just a baby maker.. and now your job is done.. they want to kick you aside and take your produce.
It's a sick society we live in.
Originally posted by angel7030:Alots of women in Singapore get cheated, dumped and casted. And funny how, they still want it, from one failed relation which end in great saddness, the next day, they start to look for new love, tho I am a gal, i simply do not understand women here, are they plain stupid or most have severe post natal depression that even a printer also want to argue??
A lot of women are very gullible lah.. if not.. difficult for men to get one into his bed you see...
Yah lor.. printer only wat.. now turn into a family feud.
Originally posted by jojobeach:A lot of women are very gullible lah.. if not.. difficult for men to get one into his bed you see...
Yah lor.. printer only wat.. now turn into a family feud.
No wonder budget hotels in Singapore are booming....when fully booked, you can feel the bulding shaking when all pound and do at the same time.
jojobeach, u're right.... that's why no matter what i won't give up my baby for them. They still keep asking to give birth for another one or two, i told them...don't ever think about it. Die die i won't bring this 'shxxt' thing for myself anymore. You all just treat me as a 'birth machine'.
My sis-in-law (not married and in late 30's now) keep calling my baby 'zai zai' (means 'son' in canthonese), make me feel disgusting.
Singularity, don't give up. :)
Life is a journey.
No lah, my master told me, life is an illusion.
yeah, a life with a journey & an illusion like that sure make life 'excited'.
Originally posted by Happilyeverafter:jojobeach, u're right.... that's why no matter what i won't give up my baby for them. They still keep asking to give birth for another one or two, i told them...don't ever think about it. Die die i won't bring this 'shxxt' thing for myself anymore. You all just treat me as a 'birth machine'.
My sis-in-law (not married and in late 30's now) keep calling my baby 'zai zai' (means 'son' in canthonese), make me feel disgusting.
Singularity, don't give up. :)
Next time your sis in law call your son zai zai again... just say " His name is "David ( your son name) " , please don't confuse him".
You need to learn how to draw boundaries and enforce it, a lot of time people will want to try to cross it.. just put them in their place whenever they do.
Aiya, only one printer, i threw lots of printer away,..give to garung guni men, he gives me $5,. i give it to my maid...and here you are argueing over a printer and your mom?? Omg, post natal depression, must be
Originally posted by jojobeach:Next time your sis in law call your son zai zai again... just say " His name is "David ( your son name) " , please don't confuse him".
You need to learn how to draw boundaries and enforce it, a lot of time people will want to try to cross it.. just put them in their place whenever they do.
if yr sis in laws is willing to open a bank account with yr son name, put her saving there, then maybe calling Zai zai is ok, even call ah siao also can do, for that matter