considered affair or not?
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Originally posted by angel7030:
u mean my eyebrows, oh, i use black Elizabeth Taylor contour to draw my eyebrows before going to work.No, the x-axis and the y-axis in this 2D plane is not supposed to be drawn this way.
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Originally posted by Nelstar:
No, the x-axis and the y-axis in this 2D plane is not supposed to be drawn this way.
Oh sori, not Elizabeth taylor, that one is china make, should be Elizabeth Arden.\Oh! i thot now got 3D liao, i read that even porn also go 3D in hongkong, u still go for 2D meh. Dun forget the Z axis hor, and also the axis of EVILs
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i would agree wif nelstar tat it depends where u draw the line...if the line stops at the law, then it cannot be considered an affair unless an illegal marriage has occurred...but in the eyes of morality, its an open debate...personally i would consider it an affair because to me, in a marriage there are 2 parts...1) the form, 2) the essence
the form is liken to the status...simply means tat both are legally married, and officially husband and wife...its a status legalised by law, being physically married...
the essence is liken to the feelings and affections...simply means tat both are emotionally married, tat they are not in the marriage merely out of responsibility...the marriage is not driven by guilt, responsibility but rather by true love...true love in this case means sticking to 1 partner not just physically but emotionally...
i would conclude by saying tat the case TS cited is most probably a case of a marriage tat has the form but is losing its essence...once the essence is completely lost, holding on to the form will only cause both parties to be miseraby married...
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I just got a simple question for S
What if J knows another gal call A, asked A out for dinner and they started from there. J grows to like A and keeps giving S excuses to spend some time with A. J hates himself for that but he don't know how to stop it. J allows A to hug him.
How would S feel?
1) If S feels nothing and is happier with L then is time for the the D word.
2) If S feels jealous about J, then is time to work things out with J and kicking L out of her life
Always remember this
if L can hug S when she is married, how would you know L is not have sex with B,C,D gals?
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Oh, now A appear, so exciting, can't wait for C to act on.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Marriage is a man made process, it is about bringing both sex together and then, call for a celebration. The west god said, go produce yourself, he never said go get marry, or need to make whatever vows, the hindu never mention about marriage, their only said, offer to their brahim god and get togther to produce decendent, the muslim, just call for a celebration, and for them, more better, can marry more than 3 wivies, so what is marriage to them?? then the taoist and the confused confucius in the chinese said about house and home, the need to form a family and have decendent, respect the elder, nothing about marriage. Man created an occasion, and oso because the commerical and businesses also want to make money, including the lawyers, counsellors and those doing bride and groom business. Peoples also wanted to celebrate here and there, whereby hotels and restuarant also can make money. So are the tour agencies and all those tour bus, agents etc etc, so marriage is a lucrative business, and who said there should be a honeymoon? It all man make ya
You obviously know very little about history and religion. The grandeurs of modern weddings has little to do with the historical and religious purposes marriages. -
Originally posted by cawca:
You obviously know very little about history and religion. The grandeurs of modern weddings has little to do with the historical and religious purposes marriages.
I only know that marriages to modern peoples is merely a party made by them for the hotels, wedding boutique, chauffeur, cooks, tour agents etc etc to make a living out of it. And when they find that they loves such party, they will do it again and again, and that is why marriage and divorce are on the same rates. -
I knew a girl like S once.
She would rationalize in her head that these sort of 'scandals' were innocent because they didn't cross these 'lines' that she had come up with. Some of these lines were the societal norms expected from a marrital union....and some of these lines were crafted to suit her own 'wants'. The first problem she had was not realising (or successfully lying to herself) that both sets of lines were the same. They are not. But believing that they were gave her a convenient 'escape clause' should the validity of these lines ever come into questions.
If one wants to use "lines" to determine "right and wrong" in a marital situation, do not come up with the lines on their own. Speak to your spouse/partner and come up with a mutually agreeable set of lines/boundaries between both.
"S" isn't a victim in this...but the way the entire scenario is being narrated indicates subtle notes of that she is "helpless on what to do".
But then this part comes in..."To the matter of fact, S knows it's complicated and she doesn't needs anyone to agree to what she does.."
Seems to me "S" knows exactly what she needs to do....and infact, can do what she needs to do....but just doesn't want to do it.
Yeah...there might be existing problems in the marriage with "J" (emotional needs unfulfilled...etc)....and there might be something between "S" and "L"....but those aren't really the issues that go to the root of the problem.
The problem here is "S" likes to believe that because some view the world in Black & White, it means noone can be faulted when 'playing in the grey areas'.
There is no grey area.
"S" isn't really looking for an answer to her situation or help with understanding her situation to make it better. She's known the Right & Wrongs for this even before she started the game....and to her, that's all it is. A game.
For whatever reasons she's concocted this "game" (be it insecurity of self) which can be seen here in this outright cry for validation that she should be seen as "lucky" ... quote: " She just happens to be lucky that she has 2 guys who goes crazy over her ."
or for any other reason that she can successfully lie to herself to believe....
Only one thing is certain...
"S" is the only problem in the two equations.... S+J & S+L.
Remove the problem. It's that simple.
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Simply the below equation
(S+J)(S+L)=0
Given S is 1
find the value of J and L and subsequently prove the zero factor
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Originally posted by angel7030:
I only know that marriages to modern peoples is merely a party made by them for the hotels, wedding boutique, chauffeur, cooks, tour agents etc etc to make a living out of it. And when they find that they loves such party, they will do it again and again, and that is why marriage and divorce are on the same rates.
That's very true for many modern marriages. Most get caught up in all the hype that's going on that they forget what's supposedly meant to be. -
Originally posted by Clandestine:
I knew a girl like S once.
She would rationalize in her head that these sort of 'scandals' were innocent because they didn't cross these 'lines' that she had come up with. Some of these lines were the societal norms expected from a marrital union....and some of these lines were crafted to suit her own 'wants'. The first problem she had was not realising (or successfully lying to herself) that both sets of lines were the same. They are not. But believing that they were gave her a convenient 'escape clause' should the validity of these lines ever come into questions.
If one wants to use "lines" to determine "right and wrong" in a marital situation, do not come up with the lines on their own. Speak to your spouse/partner and come up with a mutually agreeable set of lines/boundaries between both.
"S" isn't a victim in this...but the way the entire scenario is being narrated indicates subtle notes of that she is "helpless on what to do".
But then this part comes in..."To the matter of fact, S knows it's complicated and she doesn't needs anyone to agree to what she does.."
Seems to me "S" knows exactly what she needs to do....and infact, can do what she needs to do....but just doesn't want to do it.
Yeah...there might be existing problems in the marriage with "J" (emotional needs unfulfilled...etc)....and there might be something between "S" and "L"....but those aren't really the issues that go to the root of the problem.
The problem here is "S" likes to believe that because some view the world in Black & White, it means noone can be faulted when 'playing in the grey areas'.
There is no grey area.
"S" isn't really looking for an answer to her situation or help with understanding her situation to make it better. She's known the Right & Wrongs for this even before she started the game....and to her, that's all it is. A game.
For whatever reasons she's concocted this "game" (be it insecurity of self) which can be seen here in this outright cry for validation that she should be seen as "lucky" ... quote: " She just happens to be lucky that she has 2 guys who goes crazy over her ."
or for any other reason that she can successfully lie to herself to believe....
Only one thing is certain...
"S" is the only problem in the two equations.... S+J & S+L.
Remove the problem. It's that simple.
Very interesting analysis and much of it I think is true.