BFF and ex-BF
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Okay so this involves 2 of my good friends actually. Called A and B (duh). Im close with them both since 2004 and recently both of them are quite hostile just cos of a stupid issue in my opinion. We are all 21s.
It was 2 years ago that this girl B likes a guy from our school. I wasnt too aware abt it but i came to know they 2 were steadies. They broke up just aft a few months. Then this girl A and a few of her friends went to console B cos she was devastated. I rmbr B skipped alot of lessons just cos of her heartbreak. We spend alot of time consolling her and try to make her forget abt the guy. Girl A was quite close to her and basically u can say they are best of friends. Eventually B moved on...
Just last week, B called me and was fucking mad abt something. She said that she came to know A was dating her ex-bf. B said she was so heartbroken to know the news cos she sees it in a way that by A dating B's ex-bf, it shows that A is somewhat supportive of what B's ex-bf did to B prior the break up. I told B to call A and ask her qtns. B said A wouldnt want to pick up her calls. It makes me sad to see my best friends fighting over a small issue. Since the guy is single, he can date whoever he wants right? At the same time, if my ex-bf mistreats me and my friends know it and one of them dates him soon after, i will be disappointed too. Not out of jealousy but comeon, that buy gave me hell and u are in love with him! Im quite neutral abt this but how do i make them talk to each other abt it? I know i can help cos i dont have issues with A and B.
What should i do as a friend?
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Tell everyone to grow up and to start behaving as the adults they are supposed to be.
End of story.
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Originally posted by fudgester:
Tell everyone to grow up and to start behaving as the adults they are supposed to be.
End of story.
I want to say that but im afraid i might hurt either of their feelings.
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Originally posted by mardiana:
Okay so this involves 2 of my good friends actually. Called A and B (duh). Im close with them both since 2004 and recently both of them are quite hostile just cos of a stupid issue in my opinion. We are all 21s.
It was 2 years ago that this girl B likes a guy from our school. I wasnt too aware abt it but i came to know they 2 were steadies. They broke up just aft a few months. Then this girl A and a few of her friends went to console B cos she was devastated. I rmbr B skipped alot of lessons just cos of her heartbreak. We spend alot of time consolling her and try to make her forget abt the guy. Girl A was quite close to her and basically u can say they are best of friends. Eventually B moved on...
Just last week, B called me and was fucking mad abt something. She said that she came to know A was dating her ex-bf. B said she was so heartbroken to know the news cos she sees it in a way that by A dating B's ex-bf, it shows that A is somewhat supportive of what B's ex-bf did to B prior the break up. I told B to call A and ask her qtns. B said A wouldnt want to pick up her calls. It makes me sad to see my best friends fighting over a small issue. Since the guy is single, he can date whoever he wants right? At the same time, if my ex-bf mistreats me and my friends know it and one of them dates him soon after, i will be disappointed too. Not out of jealousy but comeon, that buy gave me hell and u are in love with him! Im quite neutral abt this but how do i make them talk to each other abt it? I know i can help cos i dont have issues with A and B.
What should i do as a friend?
Find a friend C and D then unfriend A and B.
There should be a button to remove friends in FB.
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Originally posted by mardiana:
I want to say that but im afraid i might hurt either of their feelings.
Then in that case they need to be ass-kicked into reality. Through hurting their feelings with the hard and unpleasant truth that they're now adults, if necessary.
Cheers.
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Originally posted by Nelstar:
Find a friend C and D then unfriend A and B.
There should be a button to remove friends in FB.
Hmm im just trying to help both of them, not myself.
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Originally posted by mardiana:
Hmm im just trying to help both of them, not myself.
You can't help someone if they want to be childish. Not matter how close they are.
Fear is the strongest emotion. From which births emotions such as jealousy etc.
If they cannot overcome, you cannot help a person overwhelmed with fear. The only cure is time.
Over time, they can overcome the fear.
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I'm in a similar but different situation as you. Two of them are my close friend, due to a small misunderstanding, both of them stop talking to each other. It has been like that for 3 years.
I'm now bestie to one of the friend... while on the other hand.. I'll try to take some time during lunch breaks to visit the another friend.
I don't know if this applicable to you, but I can sense that both still care for each other... but it's just the "face" matter....
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help by giving friend b a new bf....
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What breaks relationships/friendships . Moolah... and girls or boys in this instances. Just let them work it out themselves. If A doesnt listen to B , and IF she gets the same treatment as his ex, then A and B can become best of friends with the same experience from the same guy. After the whole fiasco is over. xD
IF A gets treated well, there is no reason B should be angry, or maybe she should, cause she got treated like shit. But that's just how it is! Both date the same person before, what will go wrong with that right u ask ? Alot. Just lend an ear and a hand when A n B are in need of one lo.
I think best is not to interefere with thier private affairs, only when they are in immediate physical danger or so much emotional distress that she is bordering on insanity or immediate self-harm do you intervene. Because trust me, sometimes you mean well, but people just dont listen. If ppl actually listen, the world wouldnt be so fuked up now. Always ask yourself this.. and ask them , "Is the juice... worth the squeeze!"
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Originally posted by mardiana:
Okay so this involves 2 of my good friends actually. Called A and B (duh). Im close with them both since 2004 and recently both of them are quite hostile just cos of a stupid issue in my opinion. We are all 21s.
It was 2 years ago that this girl B likes a guy from our school. I wasnt too aware abt it but i came to know they 2 were steadies. They broke up just aft a few months. Then this girl A and a few of her friends went to console B cos she was devastated. I rmbr B skipped alot of lessons just cos of her heartbreak. We spend alot of time consolling her and try to make her forget abt the guy. Girl A was quite close to her and basically u can say they are best of friends. Eventually B moved on...
Just last week, B called me and was fucking mad abt something. She said that she came to know A was dating her ex-bf. B said she was so heartbroken to know the news cos she sees it in a way that by A dating B's ex-bf, it shows that A is somewhat supportive of what B's ex-bf did to B prior the break up. I told B to call A and ask her qtns. B said A wouldnt want to pick up her calls. It makes me sad to see my best friends fighting over a small issue. Since the guy is single, he can date whoever he wants right? At the same time, if my ex-bf mistreats me and my friends know it and one of them dates him soon after, i will be disappointed too. Not out of jealousy but comeon, that buy gave me hell and u are in love with him! Im quite neutral abt this but how do i make them talk to each other abt it? I know i can help cos i dont have issues with A and B.
What should i do as a friend?
You should befriend C more, cos C got not so much problem as A and B -
Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
I'm in a similar but different situation as you. Two of them are my close friend, due to a small misunderstanding, both of them stop talking to each other. It has been like that for 3 years.
I'm now bestie to one of the friend... while on the other hand.. I'll try to take some time during lunch breaks to visit the another friend.
I don't know if this applicable to you, but I can sense that both still care for each other... but it's just the "face" matter....
Yea its not like a fight lah. Just misunderstanding btwn them.. Im guessing B is upset cos A is with the guy who treated B badly. I dont want to involve so much. I think B needs alot of talking. She should be happy for her bestie if she got treated well.
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Originally posted by BadzMaro:
What breaks relationships/friendships . Moolah... and girls or boys in this instances. Just let them work it out themselves. If A doesnt listen to B , and IF she gets the same treatment as his ex, then A and B can become best of friends with the same experience from the same guy. After the whole fiasco is over. xD
IF A gets treated well, there is no reason B should be angry, or maybe she should, cause she got treated like shit. But that's just how it is! Both date the same person before, what will go wrong with that right u ask ? Alot. Just lend an ear and a hand when A n B are in need of one lo.
I think best is not to interefere with thier private affairs, only when they are in immediate physical danger or so much emotional distress that she is bordering on insanity or immediate self-harm do you intervene. Because trust me, sometimes you mean well, but people just dont listen. If ppl actually listen, the world wouldnt be so fuked up now. Always ask yourself this.. and ask them , "Is the juice... worth the squeeze!"
I think i will do just that. Check on them individually how they are doing. But I have to tell B to move on and get along. And from what i can guess, A is abit guilty cos she isnt picking up B's calls.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
You should befriend C more, cos C got not so much problem as A and BHmm who is C? You? Lol...
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Wow! the guy must be good looking , tall, hunky and is BIG down there. If not, do not proceed because tell B - he is not worth it. Since I assume B was dumped by that guy - she can start dating his best friend or brother in return if all she wants was revenge. Else logical planning 1) Ask B ,if she already have sex with the guy If no = no lost , because all of you still young and serious there are A LOT OF GUYS around. 2) If yes = ask her if it was good If no = tell A that guy sucks in bed no point getting attached to him 3) If yes = Hate A and support B because A refuse to share the candy with everyone. 4) Only befriend A if she shares the guy's candy with both of u. Note: Do practice safe sex btw
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Originally posted by mardiana:
Okay so this involves 2 of my good friends actually. Called A and B (duh). Im close with them both since 2004 and recently both of them are quite hostile just cos of a stupid issue in my opinion. We are all 21s.
It was 2 years ago that this girl B likes a guy from our school. I wasnt too aware abt it but i came to know they 2 were steadies. They broke up just aft a few months. Then this girl A and a few of her friends went to console B cos she was devastated. I rmbr B skipped alot of lessons just cos of her heartbreak. We spend alot of time consolling her and try to make her forget abt the guy. Girl A was quite close to her and basically u can say they are best of friends. Eventually B moved on...
Just last week, B called me and was fucking mad abt something. She said that she came to know A was dating her ex-bf. B said she was so heartbroken to know the news cos she sees it in a way that by A dating B's ex-bf, it shows that A is somewhat supportive of what B's ex-bf did to B prior the break up. I told B to call A and ask her qtns. B said A wouldnt want to pick up her calls. It makes me sad to see my best friends fighting over a small issue. Since the guy is single, he can date whoever he wants right? At the same time, if my ex-bf mistreats me and my friends know it and one of them dates him soon after, i will be disappointed too. Not out of jealousy but comeon, that buy gave me hell and u are in love with him! Im quite neutral abt this but how do i make them talk to each other abt it? I know i can help cos i dont have issues with A and B.
What should i do as a friend?
Two girls fight over a guy ah.. wah... that guy must be in heaven by now.
A want to date the loser ex-bf.. let her date lor...
One man's poison, may be another man's wine/desert.
B is petty lah.. since the relationship never work out that doesn't mean no one must date him wat....
You mean it's ok for other girls to date your ex.. just not your friend or accquaintance ?? Wah.. then next time any girls must UN-friend you first if they want to date your EX ?
You don't want him, the trash.. then give him to someone else lor...why get upset over a piece of trash ?
There's a reason why you throw away a piece of trash.. so no need to get upset when some karang man or your neighbour come along and pick it up lah...understand ?
A/B is petty lah... they need to grow up.
I suggest you keep quiet.. no need to side anyone. Just remain neutral.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Two girls fight over a guy ah.. wah... that guy must be in heaven by now.
A want to date the loser ex-bf.. let her date lor...
One man's poison, may be another man's wine/desert.
B is petty lah.. since the relationship never work out that doesn't mean no one must date him wat....
You mean it's ok for other girls to date your ex.. just not your friend or accquaintance ?? Wah.. then next time any girls must UN-friend you first if they want to date your EX ?
You don't want him, the trash.. then give him to someone else lor...why get upset over a piece of trash ?
There's a reason why you throw away a piece of trash.. so no need to get upset when some karang man or your neighbour come along and pick it up lah...understand ?
A is petty lah... she needs to grow up.
I suggest you keep quiet.. no need to side anyone. Just remain neutral.
Eh not petty in that sense. Whats the matter is: since the guy broke B's heart, and by A going steady with the guy, its like a slap on the face in terms of friendship. Thats what B is upset abt. Not bcs of jealousy... I THINK!
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Originally posted by Darkseed73:
Wow! the guy must be good looking , tall, hunky and is BIG down there.
If not, do not proceed because tell B – he is not worth it. Since I assume B was dumped by that guy – she can start dating his best friend or brother in return if all she wants was revenge.
Else logical planning
1) Ask B ,if she already have sex with the guy
If no = no lost , because all of you still young and serious there are A LOT OF GUYS around.
2) If yes = ask her if it was good
If no = tell A that guy sucks in bed no point getting attached to him
3) If yes = Hate A and support B because A refuse to share the candy with everyone.
4) Only befriend A if she shares the guy’s candy with both of u.
Note: Do practice safe sex btw
Idk.. haha. if it was me i just cbf. What i will do if i was B, i will let A know all the honest facts abt the guy and how he treated me. If A still wants him, then its up to her. If it goes well then it goes well. If not, I TOLD HER SO!
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Originally posted by mardiana:
Eh not petty in that sense. Whats the matter is: since the guy broke B's heart, and by A going steady with the guy, its like a slap on the face in terms of friendship. Thats what B is upset abt. Not bcs of jealousy... I THINK!
Wow. Are you going to become a nun due to friendship?
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Originally posted by Nelstar:
Wow. Are you going to become a nun due to friendship?
Hmm no. Just quite bothered bcs my good friends are having a dispute over small issues..
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Originally posted by mardiana:
Hmm no. Just quite bothered bcs my good friends are having a dispute over small issues..
let it be.
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Originally posted by mardiana:
Hmm who is C? You? Lol...
C is the best option if A and B is not applicable to be friends, if still cannot, then choose D) None of the above -
Another gd choice - choose
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You guys should watch The Vampire Diaries, everybody is everybody's gf or bf or bff, or bfff or whatever.
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Seriously when u all are in yer 40s, u will laughing at how stupid the whole thing is.
When u all r in yer 50s, u would have long forgotten what the heck the whole issue was about anyway.
So conclusion, dun get involve, let them both cat fight. U r not going to solve anything. Takes two to tango n if the two don't want to tango, u can't join in n have three people tango.