Relationships.
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I'm not sure whether I should even be serious with this forum. I shall just try my luck here and see what I can get.
I've broke up with my ex of 5 years. It's been 10 months. And feelings of guilt never really left me. Sometimes when I come across stuffs that he gave me, memories of us will start to come by and I'll start to tear.. Sometimes I really wonder the reason behind why I'm tearing. Was it because I'm starting to miss this person or was I feeling guilty? That after all these years of him treating me so well, I just have to leave him.
He was actually a very nice person to me. He paid attention to my needs. He took really good care of me. He bought presents for me, things that I couldn't really afford since I was then a student. He wasn't some rich kid either. His pay was meager, probably sufficient for his living expenses. Savings were just barely much. But he just wanted the best for me, he would get me gifts cause he knew that the gift would make me happy, no matter how much it costs. These only showed he's not a person who just showers you with presents, but also with whatever he can afford, he'll give the best to you. That's how nice he is. He treats his parents and friends well too. He's a filial son. His nature of work requires him to work long hours with little pay. Whichever job he chooses, he just wished that he could fork out the time to spend time with me after work.
But I still felt something's lacking between us.. Something called chemistry and the kind of emotional communication and engagement through verbal words. What's lacking between us is like we tend to attend to our physical needs but our emotional side of it seemed to have been neglected. Some of my emotional problems where how much I wished I could pour it to him, somehow weren't really well-received. I've tried to pour the kind of what I term as my emotional communication to him, but the responses I get from him could only be this much. I just wanted him to understand me more, understand how I'm feeling inside more. Why did it seem to be so hard? Maybe people might say that some people are just not good at words. I totally agree with it. But I really think communication between a couple is really important to sustain the relationship for the rest of our journey. This is something that was really lacking in that relationship and I really felt very terrible carrying on, with thoughts that I really wouldn't want to be someone who doesn't really understand me in my heart. My emotional needs. I did try telling him the kind of emotional needs that I wanted.. But 5 years.. I just still didn't seem to get it from the relationship that I decided to end it. I really want to start my pursuit of my so called happyness.
Can someone tell me if I was wrong? I mean there's no turning back. I just want to clear what I'm really feeling inside.
Some of the money that I used to owe him, should I return it back to him? Or should I just let go and forget about it? Money to him is pointless already..? I don't know.
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Just asking, why did you break up with him in the first place if he is so good like you mentioned?
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you called him a nice guy. and we all know that nice guys finish last. no offence but that's the truth.
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urple Giraffe,
(I am assuming it's not about the money nor materialism, yes ?) If you cannot be honest you can't get honest answers.
You broke up because you felt empty inside.
While the relationship seemed flawless on the outside, you craved more on the inside.
The problem is, are your expectations realistic ?
A man is not a woman, he cannot think like a woman. He can TRY to be understanding, but he will NEVER be able to truly understand 100%. If he can, he's probably gay, is that what you want ? I doubt it.
Where's all your girlfriends ? Do you have ANY ? Your girl friends will be able to RELATE to your problems, because they are the same gender as you.Go out on a girls night out and let the bitch fest begin. So, no, you don't expect the same from your husband, because he is a man.
You want someone to fill your emotional void ? Why can't YOU fill it up yourself? Do you have to be such an emotional LEECH ? That's a problem with needy clingy girls, are you ONE of them ?
Emotional leeches are usually people who cannot fulfill their OWN emotional needs. So they look for people who are strong and warm and feed on them, to feast on, to satisfy the emotional HUNGER.
Apparently, your host (bf) is not able to fullfill your insatiable emotional hunger. So you go in search of another host.
In time, you will keep changing hosts as your hunger grows and grows. Then when you are old and lonely, you'd just shrivel up and die.
But then again, 5 years ? Wow, that's a damper in any relationship, this one aint' going anywhere anyway. So, let it go and find something else.
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If your love for him has died, just say so. He has spent 5 years of his life with you and you break up with him over your "emotional needs". Do you think it is fair to him? Anyway whats done is done. If you owe him money give him back, its not like you don't have any.. right? Hope you find someone perfect for you.
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You owe him money, you repay the money.
Unless he specifically say you don't need to repay, then you don't have to force him to accept.
Don't take his kindness for his weakness.
You are quite a horrible person to be honest. I won't be surprise you'd die a lonely woman.
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It is palpable that you are so woefully needy and no one, and mind you there is no one on earth who can fulfil that which lacks within u.Having said that, one can chew on the dead past and wish and wonder, nothing doing. It is akin to holding on to a cancelled cheque and validating it only in your head. It is a hangover and a pscyhological hangover if undealt with, unreconciled within will eventually surface in another situation, not necessarily a relationship.Fulling oneself Within and being able to relate to oneself is the way to go and though ardous to many cos it calls for looking inwards and facing what one really is all about. many seek out another to fufil as opposed to sharing what one is. Worse is to lose oneself in a another or in a relationship. It is fiction and to maintain a fiction is simply not tenable ...To love someone out of needs is not love but sth else parading as love; most likey it belies needs/expectations. When two try to fulfil each other and still maintain a relationship - know this that it is not a relationship but a mutual benefit scheme. Hence, the misery, the fear, the pain of loss and the consequent quickness to form or possess or cement the reltionship!However, to love someone out of love is a another matter altogether. It is healthy and most enriching. Lest it is forgotten, one has to have it (within) first, before one can give. Love is for giving not taking! How is one to know? No reasons, no fears - simply loving!
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Aiya, obvious obvious u r looking for somebody better. R u sure u want somebody who communicate better? I know a couple who can, but argue a lot.
He sound like a gd catch but u know u can do better than tat. So conclusion, u know u can get somebody better than him. The market is like tis: Young available woman is going around to see if she can bargain for best buy and sell her commodity in the market. Demand vs Supply. What is her price? Boyfren of 5 years is below the equilibrium, so Pink Giraffe want to look for better one until she hit equilibrium and decide tat she canot do any better than tis, only then, she settle down.
Truth is lah - no such thing as best buy. Chemistry so important meh? As long as basic chemistry good enuf lah. When u get married, after many years, u will realise chemistry and emotional communication will wane between u n hubby as well. No such thing as perfect relationship. No such thing as perfect guy.
Anyway, if u feel u want to try out, feel free to PM me. I am available. But ChocoChip aka homoboy not allowed to PM me.
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No point getting a bf if you can't really force yrself to love him and no feeling.
As for the money, its the matter of principle. Even you all break but the money still belongs to him since he never mention its a gift. I advise you return him.
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Originally posted by Julian.khor:
Aiya, obvious obvious u r looking for somebody better. R u sure u want somebody who communicate better? I know a couple who can, but argue a lot.
He sound like a gd catch but u know u can do better than tat. So conclusion, u know u can get somebody better than him. The market is like tis: Young available woman is going around to see if she can bargain for best buy and sell her commodity in the market. Demand vs Supply. What is her price? Boyfren of 5 years is below the equilibrium, so Pink Giraffe want to look for better one until she hit equilibrium and decide tat she canot do any better than tis, only then, she settle down.
Truth is lah - no such thing as best buy. Chemistry so important meh? As long as basic chemistry good enuf lah. When u get married, after many years, u will realise chemistry and emotional communication will wane between u n hubby as well. No such thing as perfect relationship. No such thing as perfect guy.
Anyway, if u feel u want to try out, feel free to PM me. I am available. But ChocoChip aka homoboy not allowed to PM me.
here's a reminder about the screenshots. no screenshots = u are talking shit. who wants to go out with some random guy who talks shit? again, 活该没人�. -
Originally posted by jojobeach:
urple Giraffe,
(I am assuming it's not about the money nor materialism, yes ?) If you cannot be honest you can't get honest answers.
You broke up because you felt empty inside.
While the relationship seemed flawless on the outside, you craved more on the inside.
The problem is, are your expectations realistic ?
A man is not a woman, he cannot think like a woman. He can TRY to be understanding, but he will NEVER be able to truly understand 100%. If he can, he's probably gay, is that what you want ? I doubt it.
Where's all your girlfriends ? Do you have ANY ? Your girl friends will be able to RELATE to your problems, because they are the same gender as you.Go out on a girls night out and let the bitch fest begin. So, no, you don't expect the same from your husband, because he is a man.
You want someone to fill your emotional void ? Why can't YOU fill it up yourself? Do you have to be such an emotional LEECH ? That's a problem with needy clingy girls, are you ONE of them ?
Emotional leeches are usually people who cannot fulfill their OWN emotional needs. So they look for people who are strong and warm and feed on them, to feast on, to satisfy the emotional HUNGER.
Apparently, your host (bf) is not able to fullfill your insatiable emotional hunger. So you go in search of another host.
In time, you will keep changing hosts as your hunger grows and grows. Then when you are old and lonely, you'd just shrivel up and die.
But then again, 5 years ? Wow, that's a damper in any relationship, this one aint' going anywhere anyway. So, let it go and find something else.
Wow, you make it sound so scary... anyway...
His pay was meager, probably sufficient for his living expenses. Savings were just barely much. - PurpleGiraffe
Some of the money that I used to owe him, should I return it back to him? Or should I just let go and forget about it? - PurpleGiraffe
Hmmm... since you know, why ask? Relationship is a two-way thingy my friend.
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return him the $ la.....anyway, u could still get back a lump sum matrimonial fees/ assets upon divorcing your future husband....u will still get $ one way or another....
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ok love expert is here
age of u?
.for now u still miss him cos u just cant used to the life without him by ur side. when u step into adult world+nt married=meet lesser.thats wat happen to me and my gf now.
and 5 years of relationship, he will treat u like his wife already,he will think that lesser sms and calls will do. cos both of u already lao fu lao qi le.jus like me and my gf, i seldom call or sms her now ,cos we both busy working.
1 thing u have to remember is, student life is over,first few months of honey moon also finish.
u are jus someone who wants new things and feeling of been chase or full of sweet talks.
like wat jojo said, u are quite a horriable person, no suprise if u die as a lonely woman.
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Originally posted by ChoCoChips:
here's a reminder about the screenshots. no screenshots = u are talking shit. who wants to go out with some random guy who talks shit? again, 活该没人�.
See? U put picture of ugly auntie to attract guys. I know u desperate want to hv bisexual relationship. U r so CCB disgusting. Go away, pervert. Always send rubbish IM to people. -
Originally posted by Julian.khor:
See? U put picture of ugly auntie to attract guys. I know u desperate want to hv bisexual relationship. U r so CCB disgusting. Go away, pervert. Always send rubbish IM to people.When @Julian speaks, There is no weight attached to it cos,
Twat man was raised by monkeys, so dont bother what he got to say.
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Bull...s....
I am not a young handsome man who had tonnes of girlfriends, but i dare say that when you understand one woman you understand almost the rest. women are like carrot cake, there are many ways to cook it, but if u add too much water it becomes soggy and the kueh all stick together in some gluey fashion and u totally cannot troubleshoot the dish anymore. u can add as much egg or chilli or even throw in cabbage to soakup the water, but still the dish is spoilt and you can only start over with new things.
what remains of the carrot cake that was spoilt by the cook... if the carrot cake can talk, he/she will sound like the thread starter. it's the cook's fault, it's the chilli's fault, the whatever, but yet, carrot cake still have feelings for the cook, the chilli and the cabbage. it is because the oil. it has to be the cooking oil. no, it was because the cook put in, or did not put in that extra prawn. if the extra prawn was there, it would have made the overly wet dish less spoilt.
i'm sorry, i also just want to clear what i am feeling inside. like u. :)
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Originally posted by gUms:
When @Julian speaks, There is no weight attached to it cos,
Twat man was raised by monkeys, so dont bother what he got to say.
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Originally posted by Julian.khor:
See? U put picture of ugly auntie to attract guys. I know u desperate want to hv bisexual relationship. U r so CCB disgusting. Go away, pervert. Always send rubbish IM to people.
dont digress. no screenshots = u are just talking shit. 活该没人�. wheres ur designer fren? gave u a 好人� liao issit?
lastly i wan put wad as avatar is my business. im not as yandao as u wad. and y u say put ugly auntie to attract guys? who will be attracted? you? were u attracted? u kena reject until u are going for anything that moves?
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purple giraffe...
theres only a fine line btw loving love and loving the person...its easy to love love but nvr easy to love the person...loving love is wad we call loving the feeling of being in a r/s tat feels fresh, lovey dovey and energetic...but when the excitement, energy is gone, one wil go look for greener pastures...theres a saying in chinese: theres always a mountain higher than the current one...so when/who are u going to stop at since like one forumer said, theres no such thing as a best guy???
however, when it comes to loving a person, rain or shine, thru tough or gd days, u will stay committed...its not as if he was unfaithful to u but rather both of u lost the lovey dovey feeling...loving love is based on feelings alone but loving a person is based on feelings and a choice...there may be times when u dun feel loved but true love is when u choose to love the person even at times when u dun feel loved...go figure...
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Originally posted by gUms:
When @Julian speaks, There is no weight attached to it cos,
Twat man was raised by monkeys, so dont bother what he got to say.
I was raised by great people. Not like Gums, raised by pants stealers come from Cheti society. Look like you bother a lot wat.Aiya, go back to ur slum dog millionnaire society lah.
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Originally posted by littlemissbonkers:
Oh no, it is the toothless grandma wif false teeth from IMH. Yelp ! Yelp !
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Originally posted by ChoCoChips:
dont digress. no screenshots = u are just talking shit. 活该没人�. wheres ur designer fren? gave u a 好人� liao issit?
lastly i wan put wad as avatar is my business. im not as yandao as u wad. and y u say put ugly auntie to attract guys? who will be attracted? you? were u attracted? u kena reject until u are going for anything that moves?
She is around, still going on strong. Planning somewhere to go tis valentines. Why u so interested to know? Jeolous ah?
My advice to u lah, if u wanna seduce some single guys, go n put a more attractive picture like TTFU lah.
Yuck, I attracted? Big joke, I thot u pitiful guy want some homo relationship, so I felt pity for u ma.
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Originally posted by PurpleGiraffe:
I'm not sure whether I should even be serious with this forum. I shall just try my luck here and see what I can get.
I've broke up with my ex of 5 years. It's been 10 months. And feelings of guilt never really left me. Sometimes when I come across stuffs that he gave me, memories of us will start to come by and I'll start to tear.. Sometimes I really wonder the reason behind why I'm tearing. Was it because I'm starting to miss this person or was I feeling guilty? That after all these years of him treating me so well, I just have to leave him.
He was actually a very nice person to me. He paid attention to my needs. He took really good care of me. He bought presents for me, things that I couldn't really afford since I was then a student. He wasn't some rich kid either. His pay was meager, probably sufficient for his living expenses. Savings were just barely much. But he just wanted the best for me, he would get me gifts cause he knew that the gift would make me happy, no matter how much it costs. These only showed he's not a person who just showers you with presents, but also with whatever he can afford, he'll give the best to you. That's how nice he is. He treats his parents and friends well too. He's a filial son. His nature of work requires him to work long hours with little pay. Whichever job he chooses, he just wished that he could fork out the time to spend time with me after work.
But I still felt something's lacking between us.. Something called chemistry and the kind of emotional communication and engagement through verbal words. What's lacking between us is like we tend to attend to our physical needs but our emotional side of it seemed to have been neglected. Some of my emotional problems where how much I wished I could pour it to him, somehow weren't really well-received. I've tried to pour the kind of what I term as my emotional communication to him, but the responses I get from him could only be this much. I just wanted him to understand me more, understand how I'm feeling inside more. Why did it seem to be so hard? Maybe people might say that some people are just not good at words. I totally agree with it. But I really think communication between a couple is really important to sustain the relationship for the rest of our journey. This is something that was really lacking in that relationship and I really felt very terrible carrying on, with thoughts that I really wouldn't want to be someone who doesn't really understand me in my heart. My emotional needs. I did try telling him the kind of emotional needs that I wanted.. But 5 years.. I just still didn't seem to get it from the relationship that I decided to end it. I really want to start my pursuit of my so called happyness.
Can someone tell me if I was wrong? I mean there's no turning back. I just want to clear what I'm really feeling inside.
Some of the money that I used to owe him, should I return it back to him? Or should I just let go and forget about it? Money to him is pointless already..? I don't know.
Did you past your chemistry?
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u miss the fucking?
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Originally posted by FBFIce:
u miss the fucking?
thot she can diy?