How do you forgive and move on with Life
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I am sure you have heard of forgive and never forget. Time heal all things.
The truth is Time heal nobody..........
It is near impossible to forget any unpleasent event/ incident that happen to an individual.
Share your views......
My Take is ---- You should not forget the incident or events so that you don't make the same mistake twice. but you can forget the Pain.
Sometime it is the anger that is holding onto the Pain so just let go the "Pain"
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Forget is only a loss of temporary memory, our brain is so unique that it alway want to re visit any past special events in our life, be it sad or happy. So, if a person, after going thru a big event of his/her life said he/she had forget it, it is a lie, a self deny, a betray of one mind.
Forgive is more of an emotion to let the issue settle down, alots of time, because people cannot change the event or could not find a better solution to their problem, they seek forgive to cool down, most of the time, forgive means forgiving oneself than others, cos most of the time, the other dun give a damn whether you forgive them or not.
Other than physical pain, emotional pain is self make, self suffering and self developed. By understanding the essence that nothing last forever, emotional pain shall cease to exist. On the other hand, pain is also a wake up call, a road to enlightment. It is alway at the brink of the end of life that people realized what they had been doing and going thru with pain is simply nothing but stupid.
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Quote from a friend : " Life is interesting because, you never forget and u never forgive."
lol
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if my purse and handbag got money, more interesting lor
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to some, forgive and forget is the best solution...to others, thrashing things out and coming to a conclusion of some sort is the best solution...when u have one who is in the 1st category and another in the 2nd category, wad shld be the solution? the one in the 2nd category cannot forgive and forget unless things are thrashed out...the one in the 1st catgeory refuse to thrash things out but opt to forgive and forget...can they still be frends? wad do u tink?
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Forgiving is certainly easier than forgetting. Sometimes after you have forgiven someone then all of a sudden not happy again and dun wanna forgive anymore, no? Genuine forgiveness is also a type of forget-ness....If you truely moved on, you will have to forget too....
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interestingly, I heard a new version to this forgive and forget.U forgive, but u won't be able to fully forget, cause there is a scar.
the power to forgive is great, but u want still think back when u 'touch' an old scar. but the ill feeling/hatred or etc, may have perished, and U just go on with life.
it is perfect, if U can forget/forgive, but i don't think it is a big crime per say, if u forgive but n forget.
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Originally posted by Arapahoe:
I am sure you have heard of forgive and never forget. Time heal all things.
The truth is Time heal nobody..........
It is near impossible to forget any unpleasent event/ incident that happen to an individual.
Share your views......
My Take is ---- You should not forget the incident or events so that you don't make the same mistake twice. but you can forget the Pain.
Sometime it is the anger that is holding onto the Pain so just let go the "Pain"
If you forgive...forget...wil hurt yer self esteem. Never watch Adam Sandler in Anger Management?
U must learn how to handle forgiveness thru express anger. If u supress yer anger, then it will hurt yer self esteem, then people will loss respect for u, like Adam Sandler in Anger Management.
U must deal wif it, it is process. Go scold the person who cause u grievance, then u feel a lot better.
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Its easier said than done....most of the time we harbor intentions to our enemies even if we forgive them they also won't believe u....you must be sure that they're reasonable people too....otherwise its just wasted time thinking and pondering over sleep deprivation!
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and that was why sleeping pills was invented
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sleeping pills can only put you to slp for half a day but it doesnt wipe away the pain and the past from our unique brain...
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...but if you take a bottle of it, it will wipe off all your problem, aint it?
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Originally posted by angel7030:
...but if you take a bottle of it, it will wipe off all your problem, aint it?
Dun say suicidal things lehhh....someone may actually listen to your replies...alot of those with relationship problems have no one else to turn to....be human in your replies....
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Good mah, one less problem for you and me, and also the world, and that someone also can settle his problems once and for all..it is a win win case
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Good mah, one less problem for you and me, and also the world, and that someone also can settle his problems once and for all..it is a win win case
Aiyoh dun be like that lah....I tot u lead a life of compassion?
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to demon bane,
angel7030 doesnt care tat auntagony is not a forum for jokes...she shld go to chit chat and jokes and humour forums instead...
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Originally posted by despondent:
to demon bane,
angel7030 doesnt care tat auntagony is not a forum for jokes...she shld go to chit chat and jokes and humour forums instead...
Different voices is a good thing, but certainly not suicidal ones....Hahaha!
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Originally posted by despondent:
to demon bane,
angel7030 doesnt care tat auntagony is not a forum for jokes...she shld go to chit chat and jokes and humour forums instead...
no lah, actually i use to post advices for TS, but somehow these peoples lead me with leading questions till out of the topic. If i offend anyone, sori hor -
yup...ppl who post here are usually in agony alredi...tats like on the way to suicide if nth is done to help? last thing to do is to rub it in...
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
Aiyoh dun be like that lah....I tot u lead a life of compassion?
That's what i am doing, if you keep suffering in this world and yet cling so dearly to it, who can help you?? -
Originally posted by angel7030:
That's what i am doing, if you keep suffering in this world and yet cling so dearly to it, who can help you??Ya la ya la, just post with more humane approach leh...
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again...
Master Nun of the Hwa mountain in taiwan: Lingmei, if someone cannot forgive and forget their problem, its agony and suffering to him/her, so how are you going to save him/her.?
Lingmei: Well, honorary one, thanks for your question (we nun hv to thanks master if she ask us question), I will give him/her a lecture on forgiveness but not forgetting, cos we cannot forget things, which is mind over matters. Hopefully she understood and learned the true happiness meaning of Let Go (detachment).
Master: Good, but if she still cannot Let Go.
Lingmei: Then, master, you have to enlighten me, please.
Master: Ask her to end her life
Lingmei: But master, our teaching forbid killing of oneself, it is the greatest sins
Master: Lingmei, there are time you have to do the extreme, if a person come to me with her problems, and after telling her the solution and thesis on Let Go and Forgiveness, she still cannot do it, and ask again. And when we replied Kill yourself, it somehow, enlighted and solve all her problems. And even if she is to kill herself, so be it, we save many others from suffering with her.
Lingmei: Master, may I ask, what do you mean by she get enlighted when we ask her to end her life when all teaching failed to save her.
Master: You see Lingmei, people have a motivation factor in them, at time, the more bad you said about them, the more they are motivated to live and fight on. Just like sometime, i said you go and die, it makes you wake up and tell yourself, hey, I am not going to die like this, this is the end of the road, i have to make a U turn and fight on to show all of you that i can make it without ending my life.
Lingmei: Thank you master for your wonderful insight.
Master: For punishment to you, tonite you cook dinner for us
Lingmei: Huh? why master, i did nothing wrong?
Master: You did not seek my permission before asking me question
Lingmei: Oh...
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Originally posted by angel7030:
again...
Master Nun of the Hwa mountain in taiwan: Lingmei, if someone cannot forgive and forget their problem, its agony and suffering to him/her, so how are you going to save him/her.?
Lingmei: Well, honorary one, thanks for your question (we nun hv to thanks master if she ask us question), I will give him/her a lecture on forgiveness but not forgetting, cos we cannot forget things, which is mind over matters. Hopefully she understood and learned the true happiness meaning of Let Go (detachment).
Master: Good, but if she still cannot Let Go.
Lingmei: Then, master, you have to enlighten me, please.
Master: Ask her to end her life
Lingmei: But master, our teaching forbid killing of oneself, it is the greatest sins
Master: Lingmei, there are time you have to do the extreme, if a person come to me with her problems, and after telling her the solution and thesis on Let Go and Forgiveness, she still cannot do it, and ask again. And when we replied Kill yourself, it somehow, enlighted and solve all her problems. And even if she is to kill herself, so be it, we save many others from suffering with her.
Lingmei: Master, may I ask, what do you mean by she get enlighted when we ask her to end her life when all teaching failed to save her.
Master: You see Lingmei, people have a motivation factor in them, at time, the more bad you said about them, the more they are motivated to live and fight on. Just like sometime, i said you go and die, it makes you wake up and tell yourself, hey, I am not going to die like this, this is the end of the road, i have to make a U turn and fight on to show all of you that i can make it without ending my life.
Lingmei: Thank you master for your wonderful insight.
Master: For punishment to you, tonite you cook dinner for us
Lingmei: Huh? why master, i did nothing wrong?
Master: You did not seek my permission before asking me question
Lingmei: Oh...
That's better. You really ask your master this question?
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Sure, if not, go for Nun courses for what?? just eat peanut porridge ar??
I asked her alots of questions but she only answer when she wants to answer. In the learning Hall of the monastery, i ask the most questions, all others just laughs and giggles. Whenever she knock 3 times on my head, that mean i am asking nonsense. Sometime, I was ban from talking for 30minutes.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Sure, if not, go for Nun courses for what?? just eat peanut porridge ar??
I asked her alots of questions but she only answer when she wants to answer. In the learning Hall of the monastery, i ask the most questions, all others just laughs and giggles. Whenever she knock 3 times on my head, that mean i am asking nonsense. Sometime, I was ban from talking for 30minutes.
Some kind of spiritual training you had there. Why you return to the mundane world then? chen yuan wei liao (chinese) ?