A recurring broken heart
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I have been lurking around for some time here, and I have an issue that has been bugging me for almost a year. I do not have anybody close enough that I can relate to, so I guess this is the next best place to voice my emotions.
I killed a friendship I had with a lady a year back. This lady was really somebody I truely treasured, but I killed the friendship because I had unwittingly fell in love with her and said things that should have been left unspoken. As a result, she wasn't too pleased with me, and I have been avoided ever since.
I know that the correct thing for me to do is to move on. I have tried to convince myself that all I am feeling, was just an obsession and not true love. I have tried to push my thoughts away by focusing on my work and trying to participate in activities with other friends. When I am busy, I would not reminiscence about the past and I would try to keep to a cheerful facade. But sometimes, at night, when I am lying down in my bed, these thoughts would come creeping towards me and I would be burdened by regrets of the things I did in the past.
I believe in freewill, that I have no control about what other people feel about me. I can't force a person to come back to me nor can I control anyone's action. I also believe that there is no point crying about spilt milk. But despite all the rules and safe guards I have placed in my life, I turned myself into a victim of my own emotions. Here I am, crying about spilt milk that has probably turned sour by now.
I have thought that time heals all wounds. Sometimes it does, but sometimes the wound seems to reopen again. For a period of time, I felt great. But suddenly, my mind is bleeding again.
I am not asking for any help, probably just a listening ear. I have enough I keeping this to myself, and I am trying to let this post be an avenue to purge out this negative emotions.
Thanks for reading.
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Originally posted by Naive Bayes:
I killed a friendship I had with a lady a year back. This lady was really somebody I truely treasured, but I killed the friendship because I had unwittingly fell in love with her and said things that should have been left unspoken. As a result, she wasn't too pleased with me, and I have been avoided ever since.
Dont mind i extra mouth ask one time. What did you say that should have been unspoken? willing to share? if not nvm, take it that i eat full nothing to shit.
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i have listened and heard you...
Ans: Move on
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Originally posted by Naive Bayes:
I have been lurking around for some time here, and I have an issue that has been bugging me for almost a year. I do not have anybody close enough that I can relate to, so I guess this is the next best place to voice my emotions.
I killed a friendship I had with a lady a year back. This lady was really somebody I truely treasured, but I killed the friendship because I had unwittingly fell in love with her and said things that should have been left unspoken. As a result, she wasn't too pleased with me, and I have been avoided ever since.
I know that the correct thing for me to do is to move on. I have tried to convince myself that all I am feeling, was just an obsession and not true love. I have tried to push my thoughts away by focusing on my work and trying to participate in activities with other friends. When I am busy, I would not reminiscence about the past and I would try to keep to a cheerful facade. But sometimes, at night, when I am lying down in my bed, these thoughts would come creeping towards me and I would be burdened by regrets of the things I did in the past.
I believe in freewill, that I have no control about what other people feel about me. I can't force a person to come back to me nor can I control anyone's action. I also believe that there is no point crying about spilt milk. But despite all the rules and safe guards I have placed in my life, I turned myself into a victim of my own emotions. Here I am, crying about spilt milk that has probably turned sour by now.
I have thought that time heals all wounds. Sometimes it does, but sometimes the wound seems to reopen again. For a period of time, I felt great. But suddenly, my mind is bleeding again.
I am not asking for any help, probably just a listening ear. I have enough I keeping this to myself, and I am trying to let this post be an avenue to purge out this negative emotions.
Thanks for reading.
First of all, one song for ur situation: Sorry that i loved you ~~ 倪安东
Same experience here
Just move on
Sure got other women like her or even better than her
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nothing wrong falling in love with someone you treasure. If she doesn't reciprocate, then so be it. That's life. This can only mean she's not your true love and the special one is still out there.
Don't let anyone else, not even this lady stand in the way of your destiny, your true love.
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humans are condemned with eternal recurrences...
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Agree...just move on!
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She is kind not to lead you on. I've seen many women play with guys like you and then get you burnt and leave you with hate for women
Would you be able to have a talk with her to have a closure or do something to close off the "thing" that is hanging in the middle for you. Its like you're mourning a r/s which you refused to let go and bury and let it be ...
Sometimes its just not meant to be. Feel lucky. Be grateful for the friendship. Have a good cry. Just let it be .... then pick yourself up and move on....
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Originally posted by Lord dejavu:
Dont mind i extra mouth ask one time. What did you say that should have been unspoken? willing to share? if not nvm, take it that i eat full nothing to shit.
Well, she was aware I liked her. But she prefered me to be in the friend zone. But at that point of time, I was quite affected by the unreciprocated feelings and my work was getting badly affected. So, I made the decision to tell her that I can't be her friend as long as I had feelings for her; I would expect something in return from her which would eventually result in bad blood between us. She didn't take it too well and we went out of touch for months. I managed to focus on my job, and I pushed the whole saga off from my head for awhile. But the pain backfired on me very slowly.
That's the demon that has been haunting me every night. I would really love to move on, I know I am already not a part of world already. But when I catch a glimpse of her face again, the pain rush back like a venom.
So, maybe I am not emotionally mature in this respect. There were lessons learnt, albeit a very painful and draining one.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
She is kind not to lead you on. I've seen many women play with guys like you and then get you burnt and leave you with hate for women
Would you be able to have a talk with her to have a closure or do something to close off the "thing" that is hanging in the middle for you. Its like you're mourning a r/s which you refused to let go and bury and let it be ...
Sometimes its just not meant to be. Feel lucky. Be grateful for the friendship. Have a good cry. Just let it be .... then pick yourself up and move on....
In a way, you are right, there is something I couldn't let go and I don't know why. Logically, I know it is a waste of my time to mourn over it. So, it is a constant battle between my logical and emotional side. Communications may be out of the question now. I have to seek closure by myself, and I am finding it hard.
But you are right, I should be thankful that she had never lead me around.
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Mourn all you want, cry if you have to, beat yourself up if you must... When you are good and ready... and maybe a little frustrated, do something symbolic to signify to yourself that you are saying good bye and wish all the best to her and yourself ... it was just great to know her for a while.
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-hugz-
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Originally posted by Ferret:
-hugz-
meow!
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join a church
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Originally posted by Naive Bayes:
I have been lurking around for some time here, and I have an issue that has been bugging me for almost a year. I do not have anybody close enough that I can relate to, so I guess this is the next best place to voice my emotions.
I killed a friendship I had with a lady a year back. This lady was really somebody I truely treasured, but I killed the friendship because I had unwittingly fell in love with her and said things that should have been left unspoken. As a result, she wasn't too pleased with me, and I have been avoided ever since.
I know that the correct thing for me to do is to move on. I have tried to convince myself that all I am feeling, was just an obsession and not true love. I have tried to push my thoughts away by focusing on my work and trying to participate in activities with other friends. When I am busy, I would not reminiscence about the past and I would try to keep to a cheerful facade. But sometimes, at night, when I am lying down in my bed, these thoughts would come creeping towards me and I would be burdened by regrets of the things I did in the past.
I believe in freewill, that I have no control about what other people feel about me. I can't force a person to come back to me nor can I control anyone's action. I also believe that there is no point crying about spilt milk. But despite all the rules and safe guards I have placed in my life, I turned myself into a victim of my own emotions. Here I am, crying about spilt milk that has probably turned sour by now.
I have thought that time heals all wounds. Sometimes it does, but sometimes the wound seems to reopen again. For a period of time, I felt great. But suddenly, my mind is bleeding again.
I am not asking for any help, probably just a listening ear. I have enough I keeping this to myself, and I am trying to let this post be an avenue to purge out this negative emotions.
Thanks for reading.
Haiz, no such thing as true luv. Why feel so guilty? Did u think u do anything wrong? It is simple math formula. Guy like gal, gal don;t like guy. Answer to math equation? Simple: Move on.
Why cry over worthless frenship? Had it been lost of a buddy or close guy fren, would u give a damn? More painful because u like the gal, isn't it?
What u did wuz natural instinct, u r a guy. Guy suppose to be attracted to gal. If u r not attracted, then u r gay. So again what do u feel so guilty about? For acting out of ur natural instinct as a guy?
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Originally posted by PedoBear:
join a church
or a monastery -
Originally posted by Naive Bayes:
I have been lurking around for some time here, and I have an issue that has been bugging me for almost a year. I do not have anybody close enough that I can relate to, so I guess this is the next best place to voice my emotions.
I killed a friendship I had with a lady a year back. This lady was really somebody I truely treasured, but I killed the friendship because I had unwittingly fell in love with her and said things that should have been left unspoken. As a result, she wasn't too pleased with me, and I have been avoided ever since.
I know that the correct thing for me to do is to move on. I have tried to convince myself that all I am feeling, was just an obsession and not true love. I have tried to push my thoughts away by focusing on my work and trying to participate in activities with other friends. When I am busy, I would not reminiscence about the past and I would try to keep to a cheerful facade. But sometimes, at night, when I am lying down in my bed, these thoughts would come creeping towards me and I would be burdened by regrets of the things I did in the past.
I believe in freewill, that I have no control about what other people feel about me. I can't force a person to come back to me nor can I control anyone's action. I also believe that there is no point crying about spilt milk. But despite all the rules and safe guards I have placed in my life, I turned myself into a victim of my own emotions. Here I am, crying about spilt milk that has probably turned sour by now.
I have thought that time heals all wounds. Sometimes it does, but sometimes the wound seems to reopen again. For a period of time, I felt great. But suddenly, my mind is bleeding again.
I am not asking for any help, probably just a listening ear. I have enough I keeping this to myself, and I am trying to let this post be an avenue to purge out this negative emotions.
Thanks for reading.
You are welcome,
oh, by the way, there is alway a room for you to forget and heals all these wound, come, come, we are open from 6pm to 3am from Tuesday to Thursday, and 6pm to 5 am on friday, sat and sun including public holiday and eve of public holiday.
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no woman would prefer to be single when got guy want her. you need to ask yourself why you dont qualify as BF material. cos next girl you will face same problem. so time wont solve your heartache.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
You are welcome,
oh, by the way, there is alway a room for you to forget and heals all these wound, come, come, we are open from 6pm to 3am from Tuesday to Thursday, and 6pm to 5 am on friday, sat and sun including public holiday and eve of public holiday.
Haha I would love to support you. Will drop by one day~
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i can also find you a russia gal if your prefer them.
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Originally posted by russiabear:
no woman would prefer to be single when got guy want her. you need to ask yourself why you dont qualify as BF material. cos next girl you will face same problem. so time wont solve your heartache.
After analyzing what I have done so far, I believe that insecurity would have been my biggest Achille's heel. I have gotten uptight especially around her. So I guess you were right..
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but bear that in mind, no woman would want to get attached so soon if there is alot of suitors and wolves around. Just like me.
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Originally posted by Julian.khor:
Haiz, no such thing as true luv. Why feel so guilty? Did u think u do anything wrong? It is simple math formula. Guy like gal, gal don;t like guy. Answer to math equation? Simple: Move on.
Why cry over worthless frenship? Had it been lost of a buddy or close guy fren, would u give a damn? More painful because u like the gal, isn't it?
What u did wuz natural instinct, u r a guy. Guy suppose to be attracted to gal. If u r not attracted, then u r gay. So again what do u feel so guilty about? For acting out of ur natural instinct as a guy?
Thanks...that got me feeling a tad bit better..
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I support you, be brave and move on! I'm sure there's better gals out there for you to fall in love with!