Should I try to patch with my gf?
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yes, they are indeed more popular among themselves, you can see alot of them together at Duxton road
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Originally posted by male26:
Here is the summary:
I am a guy, Chinese, 26 years old, I have a gf/24, we have been dating for close to 4 years already. She is a very caring, pretty and in short, my perfect other half. We see each other every other day during the week. And we spend quality time together during the weekends. I am very close to her family and she is close to my family as well.
Now here is the problem:
We seem to quarrel excessively over petty issues, like once a week or once every two weeks, and she will mention break up or threaten to walk out of the relationship which makes me blow my top and hurl vulgarities, curse and swear at her. Initially she will keep calling and smsing me to resolve the problem, but I was always too mad at her to sit down and talk. So the matter drags overnight and from the next day onwards, I will always be the one "stalking" her, but she will just refuse all my calls and SMSes.
Most of the time, she will relent after a day or two and we patched back and resume our "happy times" as if nothing has happened before, but a similar quarrel happens again before long and the same old shit repeats itself.
This time it happened again and my gf asked for a breakup:
My gf says the reason for asking for a breakup is that:
1. I cant manage a small quarrel and give in to her.
2. I cant stop scolding vulgarities at her.
So I am confused right now, should I chase her back at all costs or let her go? Thanks in advance for all advices!
You have control issues, anger management issues, pride issues and conflict management issues.
You say it's petty, yet you argue with her over em. Are the petty issues more important to you or to her ? Ask yourself.
You say you don't like her to say break up, but you trained her that way. You give in to her petty issues only after she uses " breakup". So, of cors she keep using "breakup" to resolve the problem, because you can't resolve the conflict from the onset.
You get mad at her for being mad at you over petty issues. Who is petty again ?
She die die say break up, becuase you die die don't change.
You are a narcissistic person. So best is let her go.
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
Why are so many of you guys suggest breakup instead of reconcile? If TS can improve, I dun see why not he give this relationship another go?
4 years of going no where... as much as people would like to see the couple get back together... the signs are there.. the vulgar and nasty behaviour from the guy and the constant need to throw in the towel and call it quits and escape from this from the girl. I can only say, they are lucky they didn't waste anymore time in this dead end. I am sure when they first started, there was sweet times and the guy does not use vulgar words on her and she was not saying she want out all the time. How it got to this stage... they 2 have to learn from this lesson and not make the same one again...
There is also a time to call it quits.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
You have control issues, anger management issues, pride issues and conflict management issues.
You say it's petty, yet you argue with her over em. Are the petty issues more important to you or to her ? Ask yourself.
You say you don't like her to say break up, but you trained her that way. You give in to her petty issues only after she uses " breakup". So, of cors she keep using "breakup" to resolve the problem, because you can't resolve the conflict from the onset.
You get mad at her for being mad at you over petty issues. Who is petty again ?
She die die say break up, becuase you die die don't change.
You are a narcissistic person. So best is let her go.
aiya sista, once word said it all lah, he is still very immature, sg guy mature very late, unlike the west or north asian countries, by 21yyo, all mostly matured already, i find sg guy only mature when they reach 35 to 40yo, but some uncles very old still very immature. Their temper, thinking, way of communication and expression is like a 5yo kid
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Originally posted by angel7030:
aiya sista, once word said it all lah, he is still very immature, sg guy mature very late, unlike the west or north asian countries, by 21yyo, all mostly matured already, i find sg guy only mature when they reach 35 to 40yo, but some uncles very old still very immature. Their temper, thinking, way of communication and expression is like a 5yo kid
No hor. Westerners also got this type ok.
Narcissist everywhere.
Only what they say is important, everyone else's opinion is petty or not important. Never their fault, always try to justify their own action . Even tho his gf probably already complained she didn't like how he treated her, he still say she petty. Hopeless one.
And the worst is, these men will never willingly admit their own mistake lah. Unless you twist their dicks around, they will never back down lor.
This kind of guy not just in Singapore OK, got plenty in western world, that's why divorce rate 60 percent you see.
If you ever meet this kind, RUN !!! Don't say I never warn you ah.
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Be like me. I am the go-to-sleep-if-there-is-a-quarrel type.
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I was thinking about this thread last night (after quarrel with my gf) before I sleep...
Sometimes.. when the opportunity (breakup initiator) presents itself, one should grab it (if you really want to seek ending).
It tough to pull the trigger.. but who knows? the future could be even better!
When someone keep pulling the trigger.. and play when the gun really gets fired, it's the time they will regret most...
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Trust me. This is the kind of mentality why marriages don't last.
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i rather u spend your time setting yourself to be the next Mark Suckerberg...
wake up bro
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
Trust me. This is the kind of mentality why marriages don't last.
Unless there's Men Charter... I don't think it's good for guys getting married and get pinned down by Women's charter.Anyway, Marriage and Divorce cost a bomb in singapore... and I would say sg lady are generally overrated.
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Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
I was thinking about this thread last night (after quarrel with my gf) before I sleep...
Sometimes.. when the opportunity (breakup initiator) presents itself, one should grab it (if you really want to seek ending).
It tough to pull the trigger.. but who knows? the future could be even better!
When someone keep pulling the trigger.. and play when the gun really gets fired, it's the time they will regret most...
Before you go into the dark side. Ask yourself this.
WHY, do you and your girlfriend have to quarrel ?
Quarrel over what ? Do you always have to be right ? Or do you want to be happy ?
She won't seek an escape if you give her the opportunity to RESOLVE differences and come to a compromise.
Some things in life is more important to her than to you. If you can easily give it to her, why not ? Is it about losing control ?
But when you have to quarrel, that means you are not giving in to issues that is/are important to her. If it is not very important she to her, she won't bother making a big deal out of it.
Think about it. Ok ? Good.
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Duh. Everybody knows that. Who quarrels about things which are not impt lol.
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
Duh. Everybody knows that. Who quarrels about things which are not impt lol.
Duh, well men who quarrel over "petty" things must be so dumb then.. ok. Glad you agree.
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I dun think it is dumb. It's just that both sides are already losing the intimacy and patience for each other. If there was patience and understanding, petty things can be reasoned with and worked out.
Its like arguing over toothpaste and getting pissed off cause someone didnt put the cap on, or squeezes from the top.
It's a sign of decline within the relationship itself.
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think you should let her go la.
buy a blow doll instead.
you can scold at the blow doll n she will not reply.
you can slap, punch or bite it, it will explode but not fight back
you can F it when u want it.
your perfect gf.