Should I try to patch with my gf?
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On her part, threatening to break up all the time shows an emotional unstability in your relationship and her lack of trust of trust in you. Or, she might be trying to "test" you like what some girls like to do. But she is childish to do so.
On your part, scolding her with vulgarities is akin to degrading her and not respecting her especially when it is over small petty issues. You said it yourself they are petty issues. You are too hot-headed and not calm enough to handle couple quarrels.
Conclusion: Either you sort things out with her gradually by talking and not escalating the fights, or you can just prepare to break up with her like you said and spare the both of you from the current agony you are facing.
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why must you scold vulgar words when angry?
why do you get angry at all?
4 years already... its not going to get better. If marriage is in the card, its going to get worse.
People don't change. Easier to move mountains. She's given up on you. Please move on. Don't make her hate you.
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sounds like me and my wife! lol. Patience is key and if you really love each other, must give and take. Both parties stubborn is not gonna help at all. Be more mature too.....don't just say break up in the heat of the moment.
Stop the vulgarities once and for all. You are disrespecting her parents as well. Since you're close to her family, one day you might call them pa and ma....think of how they'd feel if they see your vulgar sms-es to her.
Petty issues are not worth the anger. If it happens again, you'll have to quickly talk yourself out of the foul mood and chuck it aside. It's way too childish to be even worked up by trivial stuff.
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u do not have to resort to vulgarities....but her frequent threatening tactics of breaking up means a form of control, which is very usual of today's gals...and this would continue all the way till marriage and death...
so, its better u throw her away and change your target before its too late...remember, u must find ways to control a woman...and not the other way...once u lose that power which is hereditary yours...u lose her respect...
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TS,
The word ''patch'' means fix, mend - one cannot patch one can only share what one is. Whether one acknowledges or rejects - it does not detract from what is or what one is.
And many misunderstand, misconstrue and misinterpret this - beggarly ''love'' has nothing to share excepting wanting, desiring and woefully awash with needs/expectations.
Till that understanding is available to one who purports to love - all one is or does is going to be in vain.
One cannot find anything in a relationship if one cannot relate to what one is. It presupposes the courarge to face dichotomizing,polarizing emotions within oneself. Relationship is born out of relating not the other way around.
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Originally posted by male26:
@01io
Actually this time the quarrel started when she got angry that I did not buy her dinner when I rushed to fetch her and forgot abt the dinner, and it evolved into a full fledge quarrel. Yes its annoying girls always like to say breakup everytime over small things.
Yes I think what you have said is right. I should just walk away instead of talking more. But at that moment, its hard to think logically.
Male...
I am in similar situation as you.. I share with you how I cope with my situation..
1) I keep my options open. I know I love her, but I am keep my options open by meeting new people and creating my social circle. --> this is what many professionals recommend.
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you two should talk these issues over.
and i wouldn't be surprised if she was offended by your profanities. girls generally don't take to vulgarities very well.
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Originally posted by stuffedbears:
you two should talk these issues over.
and i wouldn't be surprised if she was offended by your profanities. girls generally don't take to vulgarities very well.
Guy like me do not react well with girls who exhibits temper flaring and mood swings.... girls like that are classified as 444POI,BIO,COR,M,OX.. -
1) I keep my options open. I know I love her, but I am keep my options open by meeting new people and creating my social circle. --> this is what many professionals recommend.
Seriously. Professional suggest 2 timing?
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She die die want a breakup..
So there she have it.. I will just let it be.. I really hate to hear that word over and over again..
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change yourself, you know that hurling vulgarities is bad. Think over it, tell her that you changed, ask her to give you a chance. 4 years is a long time, petty issues can be resolved. As a guy, you should sit down and talk it out with her, instead of leaving things to drag overnight.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
Seriously. Professional suggest 2 timing?
Not two timing :)It's socializing. Let me find the video for ya... will post back soon.
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Originally posted by male26:
She die die want a breakup..
So there she have it.. I will just let it be.. I really hate to hear that word over and over again..
Yes, break all contacts with her least she won't come back and bother you. Delete number, msn, fb, etc..Engage in healthy activities like sports. Keep yourself busy.. interact more, and going out with friends for meals.. you need adaptions too.
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Why are so many of you guys suggest breakup instead of reconcile? If TS can improve, I dun see why not he give this relationship another go?
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Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
Yes, break all contacts with her least she won't come back and bother you. Delete number, msn, fb, etc..Engage in healthy activities like sports. Keep yourself busy.. interact more, and going out with friends for meals.. you need adaptions too.
ya, TS still young, go enjoy yourself first, got free time, come my pub, i serve you the best liquors and gals around, we except all major credit cards ya -
oops, should be accept all major credit cards..too much chivas
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
Why are so many of you guys suggest breakup instead of reconcile? If TS can improve, I dun see why not he give this relationship another go?
For a guy to come to forum to talk about his pain and sorrow of love, i think that is already gone case, quite lame indeed. -
We gal expect guy to be independent, able to make decision, lead us thru thick and thin of life and be a real man, not act like gals, only gals nag and talks, men should behave like men. Then you are consider Manly
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Originally posted by angel7030:
For a guy to come to forum to talk about his pain and sorrow of love, i think that is already gone case, quite lame indeed.Not necessary mah...I think still got chance if TS improve.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
We gal expect guy to be independent, able to make decision, lead us thru thick and thin of life and be a real man, not act like gals, only gals nag and talks, men should behave like men. Then you are consider Manly
But the New Age men are sensitive and will cry also if they are sad....
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Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
Not two timing :)It's socializing. Let me find the video for ya... will post back soon.
Interesting suggestion from Professionals ... because its easy to cross the line ... But sometimes widen the circle, a person see more things and perhaps appreciate what we have I guess. Sometimes our biggest enemy is ourselves because we always thing we can get a better partner or better this/that.
Here's a story to share.... my interpretation of "widen circle" helping:
The other day I was talking to a colleague on the MRT who was teling me his wife worked from home cause they have 2 young kid. I told him he's lucky because his wife knows that its very stress for the husband to support family alone (like most SG women also feel so for their guys). I shared with him another colleague had to support his family and 2 young kids all alone because his wife refused to work, and not even work from home or even part time. The wife also told this other colleague she expect to go on trips out of the country at least 1 to 2 times a year. After hearing this, the 1st colleague told me he felt lucky and appreciated his wife even more.
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once u marry, it's work it out no matter what. Many couples have this "let's call it a day mentality" and divorce. Ironical that arranged marriages are the longest lasting marriages in the world.
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Divorce lawyers are earning more and more now a day, so many divorce cases.
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
But the New Age men are sensitive and will cry also if they are sad....
What to do, too much spoonfeeding until boy behave like lady..haiz -
Originally posted by angel7030:
What to do, too much spoonfeeding until boy behave like lady..haizActually nowadays the New Age men are more popular than the traditional hunk and macho guys....
