Should I try to patch with my gf?
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Here is the summary:
I am a guy, Chinese, 26 years old, I have a gf/24, we have been dating for close to 4 years already. She is a very caring, pretty and in short, my perfect other half. We see each other every other day during the week. And we spend quality time together during the weekends. I am very close to her family and she is close to my family as well.
Now here is the problem:
We seem to quarrel excessively over petty issues, like once a week or once every two weeks, and she will mention break up or threaten to walk out of the relationship which makes me blow my top and hurl vulgarities, curse and swear at her. Initially she will keep calling and smsing me to resolve the problem, but I was always too mad at her to sit down and talk. So the matter drags overnight and from the next day onwards, I will always be the one "stalking" her, but she will just refuse all my calls and SMSes.
Most of the time, she will relent after a day or two and we patched back and resume our "happy times" as if nothing has happened before, but a similar quarrel happens again before long and the same old shit repeats itself.
This time it happened again and my gf asked for a breakup:
My gf says the reason for asking for a breakup is that:
1. I cant manage a small quarrel and give in to her.
2. I cant stop scolding vulgarities at her.
So I am confused right now, should I chase her back at all costs or let her go? Thanks in advance for all advices!
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u've survived 4 years...
shld get used to it by now ehh...?
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I hope that we wont break up over this, but at the same time I wont fancy going through this over and over again. Its emotionally very draining and is definitely affecting other parts of my life. So to make or break? I am really confused.
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Just break.....she deserve better....mental abuse is no better then physical abuse..she does not need to endure ur foul temper and vulgarities...><"
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Originally posted by maxsee:
Just break.....she deserve better....mental abuse is no better then physical abuse..she does not need to endure ur foul temper and vulgarities...><"
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Its very normal to quarrel among couples....some quarrel everyday....I dun understand why u must throw profanity at her....try not to do that....I encourage you to patch up.
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I tried to control the vulgar words, but when I became really angry, I just have to release it, anyways most of the time, its done thru sms, I rarely yell at her face, and never in public.
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Originally posted by male26:
I tried to control the vulgar words, but when I became really angry, I just have to release it, anyways most of the time, its done thru sms, I rarely yell at her face, and never in public.
Sms or public or in her face, that's the same thing....if u can control your temper and your choice of words, I think she will accept you again....so its about you...not her....If you can't change, let her go lor....dun emotionally destroy two people....
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Demon Bane
What you said is true, I think she is the best gf I can ever have, pretty and caring, but my temper is real bad and I havent figured out a way to curb it at that vital moment.
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Originally posted by male26:
Here is the summary:
I am a guy, Chinese, 26 years old, I have a gf/24, we have been dating for close to 4 years already. She is a very caring, pretty and in short, my perfect other half. We see each other every other day during the week. And we spend quality time together during the weekends. I am very close to her family and she is close to my family as well.
Now here is the problem:
We seem to quarrel excessively over petty issues, like once a week or once every two weeks, and she will mention break up or threaten to walk out of the relationship which makes me blow my top and hurl vulgarities, curse and swear at her. Initially she will keep calling and smsing me to resolve the problem, but I was always too mad at her to sit down and talk. So the matter drags overnight and from the next day onwards, I will always be the one "stalking" her, but she will just refuse all my calls and SMSes.
Most of the time, she will relent after a day or two and we patched back and resume our "happy times" as if nothing has happened before, but a similar quarrel happens again before long and the same old shit repeats itself.
This time it happened again and my gf asked for a breakup:
My gf says the reason for asking for a breakup is that:
1. I cant manage a small quarrel and give in to her.
2. I cant stop scolding vulgarities at her.
So I am confused right now, should I chase her back at all costs or let her go? Thanks in advance for all advices!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsI_aREjQ9w
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Originally posted by male26:
Demon Bane
What you said is true, I think she is the best gf I can ever have, pretty and caring, but my temper is real bad and I havent figured out a way to curb it at that vital moment.
Maybe you can google about anger management...it may help. Try to focus on love rather than hate, think about how she loves you....plus your happy times together etc. Make it an effort to improve your temper....she definitely deserves the best version of you! Good luck!
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wha lau 4 years still cannot gel togther, what a waste of time, so, 4 years together doing what, everyday bonk in bed ar??? or go shopping, eat ice cream...never talk about personnel issue ar?? about the future, about each other characters...all these should be spelled out and done with it, omg, 4 years still shout at each other, if 14 years, kill each other liao.
Call it a day lah, breakoff, if cannot get over the emotion of separate, can alway find comfort in my pub. 290 joo chiat road, no discount hor
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if u wan to get her back u better change ur temper. even if u managed to get her back this time round what if next time u kpkb again? or swear at her? then she say wan break with u then u try hard to patch again. if liddat then whats the point right? so manage ur temper la. if nxt time u feel like u mus release, u walk away for awhile lo. see if u still feeling pissed while alone. OR u go get a jar. then walk away and shout everything into the jar. think u'll be ok after that. hahaha.
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No need lah, let her go, if she cannot stand vulgarities, how if next time married, again vulgarities come out, all hell break loose.
In fact, for TS, there are many gals out there that can withstand vulgarities, Me being one of them, most forumers knows that I get left right and centre vulgarities from almost all uncles and guys, and still remain smiling and obedience. You can find such gal out there who can submit to your temper. But be prepare.
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TS.................
break up with your girl ASAP......................
give her to me....................you can take Angel....................
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Prepare for what....LOL
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maybe the reason why she keeps breaking up with u is because you havent been giving her the attention she needs. and maybe after 4 years of being in a relationship.. it's getting boring doing the same old things. so i guess the only reason why she keeps breaking up with u is to threaten you so that u might take the initiative to win her heart again. but i get it from your point of view. it gets annoying when girls try to threaten to break up all the time.... so annoying..
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Prepare to wake up in the middle of the nite with your birdie chopped off.
How can you scold vulgarities at a girl, people also got parents ok, TS never wash mouth, must be damn smelly. Go fly kite lah
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Originally posted by Asromanista2001:
TS.................
break up with your girl ASAP......................
give her to me....................you can take Angel....................
If he takes me,TS will end up posting here again about his gf shouting vulgarities at him
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Prepare to wake up in the middle of the nite with your birdie chopped off.
How can you scold vulgarities at a girl, people also got parents ok, TS never wash mouth, must be damn smelly. Go fly kite lah
@Angel How can a girl throw temper at guy?!
People got feel de okay.
@male I tell you, next time you angry... keep quiet.. and walk away.. don't talk. the more you talk, the more angry you will become. I know this because I everyday in your shoe.. When you don't talk, she will start to feel scared... how come never fight back.. -
Dun talk dun talk lor, scare what, singapore no more men already ar??
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@01io
Actually this time the quarrel started when she got angry that I did not buy her dinner when I rushed to fetch her and forgot abt the dinner, and it evolved into a full fledge quarrel. Yes its annoying girls always like to say breakup everytime over small things.
Yes I think what you have said is right. I should just walk away instead of talking more. But at that moment, its hard to think logically.
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Transform your weakness of getting angry easily....control it before it control you....otherwise u may lose your GF forever! Dun regret...do something now!
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