I'm a teenager and my parents have been fighting on and off for most of my life. Lately it's been getting worse and i've learnt alot on why they fight. i found out that both my parents are unfaithful and it really hurts to know that about them. i'm disillusioned because i've always believed in fidelity in marriages. i am reminded of it everytime i look at them and i can't bear to see them anymore. i don't know what to do.
how old are u?
u r the bridge which this family holds when things fall apart.
i know u r filled with anger or perhaps hatred....but still, they are your parents and you should try to find ways to resolve their marital problems if you can...
Fine, there is nothing you can do...but at least u have tried your best...and seek family counselling for them...u do possess the right to seek family & welfare protection subject to your age
Just wanna let you know that divorces are all time high in Sg...u r not the only child facing such problems...
better see a psychologist about this.
TS (thread starter) already said 'teenager'. So around sec school to poly lah.
I dont think TS at his/her tender age can do much to resolve the parents' problems.
TS just concentrates on your studies and dont let your parents' problems overburden you.
If can, find a close, trusting relative, eg uncle or aunty, whom you can confide or unburden your problems with.
This will help you see your parents' problem from adult's perspective and hopefully he/she can also intercedes between you and your parents.
If the above not possible, your problem is minor, seek help from your school counsellor. Else major, seek help from a psychologist.
siblings?
Not to douse any hope, but I'd say it's likely that it's over, and that very little can be done.
It will, however, be important to know what will end up, and how to cope; hence, get some help.
What is the state of the divorce? You mention it in the title but not in the post itself.
looks like we are on the same boat. me too, my parents are divorcing
Originally posted by Jiani:looks like we are on the same boat. me too, my parents are divorcing
I thot you said your parent have tons of planning for you. How are they going to do that as single parent?
yeah. when i was a baby. but all the insurance goes to the person who had custody of me. and both of them are still contributing to insurance and bank account lor
That is why i have always emphasize only fools get married...><"
Get married only u have tons of $$$...else better to be single and swing around...><"
take care. you are you, don't let your parent's example become you
Like what the other forumers said, try not to be too affected by the divorce.
In fact, if you can, try to talk to both your parents and let them know how you feel. Then, take it from there.
as u can see....divorces are commonplace now...children are the innocent party most affected....and think prematurely on how to deal and get on with it....
My condolences.....I dont know what to say....
Try to use this episode as a learning experience and character building experience.
That is all you can do...
The problem is of course the custody...just in case since you are at teenager's age, you can start thinking about the custody, I think they allow you to choose since you are mature enough. Seek school counselor's help first, if he/she is not good enough ask them to refer you to psychologist. My parents fight a lot also, although I am not sure about faithfulness.
I read somewhere that it is fantasy to think like Holywood that children can help the parents' back together, but no harms trying since sometimes reality is weirder than fantasy.
@maxsee
The problem does not lie on the marriage itself...but on the people and to some degree the society. Of course you can swing around, but when you reach a certain age, i doubt your swing will take care of you and you are left rotting in old folks home....
Or you die of STD before that age anyway.
Originally posted by maxsee:That is why i have always emphasize only fools get married...><"
my 3 brothers are all happily married.
a few of my nieces and nephews are in their 30s and married already.
not all marriages end up bad.
Pls la...even u get married..ur partner might die before u...ur children also not guarantee filial to you ok.......and i din say screw around...><"
I do agree that not all marriages end up bad....but god knows...if it ends in a bad note...guys are always at the losing end even if they are not wrong...><"
but then, most of the time, men are wrong, that is why the laws (women charter) is set base on the fact that for 100 divorce cases, 90 are men fault
Originally posted by dragg:my 3 brothers are all happily married.
a few of my nieces and nephews are in their 30s and married already.
not all marriages end up bad.
some marriage, you see like very happy, but inside all rotten liao....then suddenly they file for divorce and you get a shock follow by lots of gossip and auntie's talk.
those in 30s sure enjoy marriage lah, wait till they get to 40s and 50s you see how, one walk in front , one walk at the back. Talk only like quarrelling liao. Listen to a 20s girl like me talk no wrong one lah
It's very difficult on the child(ren), that's why... ><"
so long they give u money to spend and foods to eat, aiyo, close one eye lor, adult world ish the very complicated one.
Difficult is might be, but that is adult problems, those kids with divorce parents tends to end up themselve getting divorce in their future life, becos to them, the stigma is that divorcing had become a norm