How to avoid falling in love?
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I been rejected time and time again. Its really hard when my feelings for a gal developed. Once I liked someone, I would give her most of my attention at my own expense. The rejection from my close girl friend has hit me very hard. I hope that will be the final blow. I think the only way to prevent myself from getting hurt again is to never love a girl again. Im still straight. Its just that I dont want wanna like somebody else again or I will have to go through the same pain and recovery process again. How can I be friends with girls but at same time never have any special feelings for them?
I feel more relaxed and stress free when I dont have any special girl in my heart.
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take them as nothing special but a socket with 3 holes? make sure it is approved...
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unless you're dead.
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You just need to learn how to love properly. Sometimes too much attention = irrtating.
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Ts,
If u feel hurt understand this lah - it is needs expectations masquerading as love that hurts. Till one acknowledges the folly of misunderstanding/misinterpreting the above as love, one is sooner or later going to come away feeling hurt and rejected.
U ask how not to fall in love? If one can be self-fulfilled (on the INSIDE and yet being a porous ego) the chances of one falling in love is very remote. Also, people do not fall in love with another but rather fall in love with an image that one carries in one's head and when that projection is found on another - one falls! So the reality is that one does not love the other but the reflections of what is within oneself.
If one is friendly what is there for a friend? Friendliness is a fragrance of one being .... (what is one being when one is in a situation, or with a friend, family or ..., eg hostile, sociable, judgemental, loving ....add on). Friendship is a thing, friendliness is a quality of what one is!
All said and done the quality of being able to relate to oneself is essential. If one is able to understand, acknowledge and fufill that aspect within onself, relating to others would not be difficult. Even when it gets challenging one would still be able to handle situations/people or what-have-you. The quality of life is not in the living but the ability to relate to all and sundry. Think of situations/cirumstances from shopping, work, business, friends, family - it is how one relates that matters.
PS - Let me reiterate love never hurts, people who cannot love pretend and delude themselves and the hurt is always cos of expectations, needs , hoping for another to fulfil one's beggary.
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Originally posted by Fugazzi:
Ts,
If u feel hurt understand this lah - it is needs expectations masquerading as love that hurts. Till one acknowledges the folly of misunderstanding/misinterpreting the above as love, one is sooner or later going to come away feeling hurt and rejected.
U ask how not to fall in love? If one can be self-fulfilled (on the INSIDE and yet being a porous ego) the chances of one falling in love is very remote. Also, people do not fall in love with another but rather fall in love with an image that one carries in one's head and when that projection is found on another - one falls! So the reality is that one does not love the other but the reflections of what is within oneself.
If one is friendly what is there for a friend? Friendliness is a fragrance of one being .... (what is one being when one is in a situation, or with a friend, family or ..., eg hostile, sociable, judgemental, loving ....add on). Friendship is a thing, friendliness is a quality of what one is!
All said and done the quality of being able to relate to oneself is essential. If one is able to understand, acknowledge and fufill that aspect within onself, relating to others would not be difficult. Even when it gets challenging one would still be able to handle situations/people or what-have-you. The quality of life is not in the living but the ability to relate to all and sundry. Think of situations/cirumstances from shopping, work, business, friends, family - it is how one relates that matters.
PS - Let me reiterate love never hurts, people who cannot love pretend and delude themselves and the hurt is always cos of expectations, needs , hoping for another to fulfil one's beggary.
my england broken man.... very chim... :-)
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It is ok only english lah, no big deal, there are some things that u know that i may never know. Only english , it is fine!
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Well if you must know...
Be cynical. Remind yourself that the feeling is not mutual, that she doesn't feel the same way about you. Tell yourself that you're lusting after your friend and that is evil. Remember how much you prefer the individualism that comes with singlehood.
That's how you close your heart and mind to love.
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Career.
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Stay at home. Avoid going out. Or work until you die.
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TS, love a person cannot be force but naturally. Try to relax and dont bring too much pressure in trying to have someone to love.
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Like what Fugazzi said above, your problem is not with loving/liking someone but with managing expectations - and expecting that when you give, there will be reciprocation.
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Just subscript to cable TV like Starhub (got education or movie category etc) or play Lan games like Counter-Strike in Internet Cafe.Trust me either one of these activities is enough to spend your time.Otherwise If you want to learn an skill or even taking some course, you can try to go to community centre.It better than waste time and $$$ looking after your steady or love whatever and you might even meet an better person in the future.
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go for surgery, get your heart removed
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Must learn from me...close off my heart.....learn to be heartless..><"
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Originally posted by maxsee:
Must learn from me...close off my heart.....learn to be heartless..><"
u mean u dun have a heart -
Got la....sure got heart wat....u dun put all ur feelings in the relationship la...my experience with girls...they really know how to manipulate guys feelings...the best must be like me..devoid of feelings...girls cry also wun get touch...then u perfect liao...><"
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There is something called WoW...very potent they say.
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If you keep thinking that a person is nicer to you, sweeter to you compare to all the others even if that's not the case, you will definitely fall in love with that person. Always think otherwise, keep the hopes low & you probably can avoid falling in love.
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WoW?
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Originally posted by Undiscoveredsoul98:
I been rejected time and time again. Its really hard when my feelings for a gal developed. Once I liked someone, I would give her most of my attention at my own expense. The rejection from my close girl friend has hit me very hard. I hope that will be the final blow. I think the only way to prevent myself from getting hurt again is to never love a girl again. Im still straight. Its just that I dont want wanna like somebody else again or I will have to go through the same pain and recovery process again. How can I be friends with girls but at same time never have any special feelings for them?
I feel more relaxed and stress free when I dont have any special girl in my heart.
I feel for you, man. I am also in same boat. I also get rejected a lot. But I got another friend, he venture, venture for 10 years, sometime he get lucky, dating and trying out. Sometime he get rejected. After so many year, finali, he met somebody he like, a girl wif common interest.I oso try to be like him. I try to widen my social network but it is hard because not many opportunity. I practice talking to lot of gals, get to know them better. A lot of pain but no pain no gain.
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in a nutshell, the trial and tribulations are like a property or insurance agent perhaps....selling and persuading....
courtship is necessarily a marketing campaign that may cost u a bomb from time to time :) lol
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Since when is the world perfect ? It's through the imperfections do we appreciate the beauty of it and there lies the perfection in itself.
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Originally posted by Undiscoveredsoul98:
I been rejected time and time again. Its really hard when my feelings for a gal developed. Once I liked someone, I would give her most of my attention at my own expense. The rejection from my close girl friend has hit me very hard. I hope that will be the final blow. I think the only way to prevent myself from getting hurt again is to never love a girl again. Im still straight. Its just that I dont want wanna like somebody else again or I will have to go through the same pain and recovery process again. How can I be friends with girls but at same time never have any special feelings for them?
I feel more relaxed and stress free when I dont have any special girl in my heart.
What to do, you are making your own love out of a gal, blame yourself hor.To gal, friend is friend, not lover ya. To a guy, is seem like they think of bed, sex, marriage and family liao, so desparate. Haiz, give you a tip, we gal love steady and easy going guy, not those kan chiong one ya. For gal, relationship needs time to built, not just thru one movie or one outing to sentosa ya. Dun be naive
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Originally posted by Julian.khor:
I feel for you, man. I am also in same boat. I also get rejected a lot. But I got another friend, he venture, venture for 10 years, sometime he get lucky, dating and trying out. Sometime he get rejected. After so many year, finali, he met somebody he like, a girl wif common interest.I oso try to be like him. I try to widen my social network but it is hard because not many opportunity. I practice talking to lot of gals, get to know them better. A lot of pain but no pain no gain.
talking to gals is a pain??? aiyo, you talk to your mother, sisters and grandma or not?? pain or not?