Being a divorcee in Singapore
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Originally posted by angel7030:
depend, if old man did not old gracefully, go find PRC gals, use son and daughter money, beat his old wife, careless about his image and family, highlight his old hair, drink at my pub, womanising my gals, use up all the saving, neglect his old wife who had toll with him all these years...these type alots in Singapore, that is why you dun see any his decendants visiting him. Not even the crockcoachesIf a man grew old gracefully, you can see his grace of nice old age appearances, care for his grandchildrens, childrens and wife. Think for the best for his decendents, alway put his family first by his heart, go tour with wife, respect his wife contribution to build this family...die hor, even me angel also visit him and bring him to heaven
I know of rare cases of happiness, but majority of divorced old men are still lonely upon death....
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dun worry, as long as you can old gracefully, being single or married or divorced, an Angel will come and fly you to somewhere much better than here. A place where you will not be born to suffer, struggle, carving, greedy, wanting and killing
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Originally posted by angel7030:
dun worry, as long as you can old gracefully, being single or married or divorced, an Angel will come and fly you to somewhere much better than here. A place where you will not be born to suffer, struggle, carving, greedy, wanting and killing
You are too optimistic....do you really believe that there's a better place after death? A place without any suffering?
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It is better to be optimistic than to be pessimistic, yes, i believe, even if is total darkness with no feeling...an empty space, is still a place hor
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Originally posted by angel7030:
It is better to be optimistic than to be pessimistic, yes, i believe, even if is total darkness with no feeling...an empty space, is still a place hor
Everybody is afraid of loneliness, perhaps that's why so many people visit your pub looking for a "good time".
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pub alone will not solve their problem, after merrily drink and flirt, most still go back lonely. But my pub is different from others, because as a nun, i preach to them about how to have happiness within the loneliness
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Originally posted by angel7030:
pub alone will not solve their problem, after merrily drink and flirt, most still go back lonely. But my pub is different from others, because as a nun, i preach to them about how to have happiness within the loneliness
Who would listen to you? Most are there for temp happiness....you preach and spoilt their mood? I dun think they'll treat you seriously lah....anyway most are already drunk....
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No, some really changed, my master once said "Lingmei, wake up!! dun sleep in class!!! now you answer me, do you understand filtering?"
Every other nuns laughed and giggled thinking that Lingmei will get punished again
Lingmei: Yawn!!! ehhhh!...honorary master, thank you for your question, i used to filter your tea leaves, that is call filtering.
Master: But my tea still have some leaves, those tiny ones slipped thru, you did not filter well.
Lingmei: But Master, I already tried my best, I filtered a few times.
Master: Now listen, when we want save lay people from suffering in the realm of hell (world), we may find it hard to filter them all thru, because some simply dun want to listen to our dharma and chase us away. But those little which you managed to filter thru, listened to you and change for the better, you can consider that as a wonderful deed done. Remember, out of 100 pples, if you can save one, you will be bless.
Lingmei: Oh, so those filtered thru leaves are save.
Master: Because lay people like you dun understand and never use your bota head to think, that is why I use physical object to explain. Now go and brew tea for the Class!
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The poster's here seem to have gone off on their own tangent, like usual :)
Laverne, It's normal for people to choose jobs with other motives besides career or money, such as speaking the language, having friends or relatives there, wanting to travel etc. Being in a relationship is one of your priorities, so I think you might want to consider working in SG, just so you can get a relationship.
As for your original question about if being a divorcee matters, I know a lady who is divorced with a young child, but still getting dates almost weekly, because she is very attractive. Looks are more important. If you're ugly, overweight etc, then being divorced is just another stone weighing you down, but not the main one.
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nothing wrong to be a divorcee.
the rate is increasing yearly in singapore.
Singaporean is more open and those old generation have DIE off already.
Now you got a choice to leave a guy for another guy.
or just leave him so you can move on as a single.
last time this is considered as shameful and it will shame the entire zhu zhong 18 DAI face.
Luckily Most of the people in singapore with such thinking is DEAD and no body will remember them any more.
now you got a choice to re marry and get a better guy.
for those divorced guy, they can buy BLOW DOLLS to satisfy their sex crave. last time where got such invention coming to singapore.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
No, some really changed, my master once said "Lingmei, wake up!! dun sleep in class!!! now you answer me, do you understand filtering?"
Every other nuns laughed and giggled thinking that Lingmei will get punished again
Lingmei: Yawn!!! ehhhh!...honorary master, thank you for your question, i used to filter your tea leaves, that is call filtering.
Master: But my tea still have some leaves, those tiny ones slipped thru, you did not filter well.
Lingmei: But Master, I already tried my best, I filtered a few times.
Master: Now listen, when we want save lay people from suffering in the realm of hell (world), we may find it hard to filter them all thru, because some simply dun want to listen to our dharma and chase us away. But those little which you managed to filter thru, listened to you and change for the better, you can consider that as a wonderful deed done. Remember, out of 100 pples, if you can save one, you will be bless.
Lingmei: Oh, so those filtered thru leaves are save.
Master: Because lay people like you dun understand and never use your bota head to think, that is why I use physical object to explain. Now go and brew tea for the Class!
Why u always kana scolding from your master? Maybe that's her style of teaching? Interesting actually....so how you view people whom divorced the 2nd time?
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
Why u always kana scolding from your master? Maybe that's her style of teaching? Interesting actually....so how you view people whom divorced the 2nd time?
As a demon you dun understand, even here i also get scolding from all types of uncles and aunties, especially so, my banned aunt fantagf and Uncle PKyap, so imagine in real life with my master, but then, she taught me that sometime, scolding is because of Love,as in a mother to a daughter love, a senior care for a junior kind of love. Many parents also scold their teenage child, but because the child, especially sg spoilt child, do not understand the basis of why parents scold them, they turn to run away, go drinking, hip hop and so on.As I said many times, marriage is only a legal aspect of laws created by human beings, you are not obligated to marry someone as long as both are comfortable with each other staying together, but becos marriage had bind itself to the legal aspect of a country as being the legal biological parents, the right to purchase houses, the right to apply for childcare, education etc etc..marriage somehow make it way as part of your human living condition.
From early men and women, where got marriage?? they just get together, have sex, care for their youngs as all living thing mostly do, and maybe have a small campfire and roast deer meat celebration, that is all. By the system by human that bind both genders to a so called civilisation marriage, so be it. But then, at time human of modern time so called civilised can be more brutal and cruel than their early men ancestors.
In the book of Genesis, the old testament which is also part of the Quran, your god said, go on and be men and women, make decendents as much as possible to fill this world, for all men are equal. Your God did not say go and get marry, or men can be up and down, those high up control those below...which is sadly, happening today.
As for Nun, the meaning of detachement forbid one to be attached, not to mention marriage, cos if you are attached, you will have more problems and more problems create more sins and karmatic effect. So, in a turtle shell, to me, marriage be it first, second and third, i dun give a damn, it is just a paper of legal aspect, for men and women are born nake and free, why let a paper make one attached and adhered to it, which to me is simply stupidity.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
As a demon you dun understand, even here i also get scolding from all types of uncles and aunties, especially so, my banned aunt fantagf and Uncle PKyap, so imagine in real life with my master, but then, she taught me that sometime, scolding is because of Love,as in a mother to a daughter love, a senior care for a junior kind of love. Many parents also scold their teenage child, but because the child, especially sg spoilt child, do not understand the basis of why parents scold them, they turn to run away, go drinking, hip hop and so on.As I said many times, marriage is only a legal aspect of laws created by human beings, you are not obligated to marry someone as long as both are comfortable with each other staying together, but becos marriage had bind itself to the legal aspect of a country as being the legal biological parents, the right to purchase houses, the right to apply for childcare, education etc etc..marriage somehow make it way as part of your human living condition.
From early men and women, where got marriage?? they just get together, have sex, care for their youngs as all living thing mostly do, and maybe have a small campfire and roast deer meat celebration, that is all. By the system by human that bind both genders to a so called civilisation marriage, so be it. But then, at time human of modern time so called civilised can be more brutal and cruel than their early men ancestors.
In the book of Genesis, the old testament which is also part of the Quran, your god said, go on and be men and women, make decendents as much as possible to fill this world, for all men are equal. Your God did not say go and get marry, or men can be up and down, those high up control those below...which is sadly, happening today.
As for Nun, the meaning of detachement forbid one to be attached, not to mention marriage, cos if you are attached, you will have more problems and more problems create more sins and karmatic effect. So, in a turtle shell, to me, marriage be it first, second and third, i dun give a damn, it is just a paper of legal aspect, for men and women are born nake and free, why let a paper make one attached and adhered to it, which to me is simply stupidity.
Oic...nice point of view.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
As a demon you dun understand, even here i also get scolding from all types of uncles and aunties, especially so, my banned aunt fantagf and Uncle PKyap, so imagine in real life with my master, but then, she taught me that sometime, scolding is because of Love,as in a mother to a daughter love, a senior care for a junior kind of love. Many parents also scold their teenage child, but because the child, especially sg spoilt child, do not understand the basis of why parents scold them, they turn to run away, go drinking, hip hop and so on.As I said many times, marriage is only a legal aspect of laws created by human beings, you are not obligated to marry someone as long as both are comfortable with each other staying together, but becos marriage had bind itself to the legal aspect of a country as being the legal biological parents, the right to purchase houses, the right to apply for childcare, education etc etc..marriage somehow make it way as part of your human living condition.
From early men and women, where got marriage?? they just get together, have sex, care for their youngs as all living thing mostly do, and maybe have a small campfire and roast deer meat celebration, that is all. By the system by human that bind both genders to a so called civilisation marriage, so be it. But then, at time human of modern time so called civilised can be more brutal and cruel than their early men ancestors.
In the book of Genesis, the old testament which is also part of the Quran, your god said, go on and be men and women, make decendents as much as possible to fill this world, for all men are equal. Your God did not say go and get marry, or men can be up and down, those high up control those below...which is sadly, happening today.
As for Nun, the meaning of detachement forbid one to be attached, not to mention marriage, cos if you are attached, you will have more problems and more problems create more sins and karmatic effect. So, in a turtle shell, to me, marriage be it first, second and third, i dun give a damn, it is just a paper of legal aspect, for men and women are born nake and free, why let a paper make one attached and adhered to it, which to me is simply stupidity.
Good reply, hey that fat n a gf is banned?
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Originally posted by Laverne:
I think it’s not a matter of being „hurtful“, it’s really about the character of a person that might impact your life if you were to lead one with him.
As for being single, sure it has its advantages. But in life we need to do what we ought to do, especially when the time comes for it. I know this sounds like a moral education textbook, but it’s about being a responsible grown-up, forming a family, having a job and contributing to the community. This applies to both men and women. What’s the point of bumping around and wasting time? IMO, a woman’s youth starts to expire by the time she is in her late 20s. Perhaps if I were a couple of years younger, I wouldn’t think much about such issues. Or perhaps it could also be that after having travelled the last years, it just makes me think that I really ought to settle down now. Besides, my parents are getting old and have been asking me to go home and re-marry.
@russianbear: I thought it is usually the women who consider such material aspects of a relationship heh It makes me wonder then, do most Singaporean men consider the financial contribution of the woman when looking for a partner?
When I sent in my email to HDB several weeks ago asking about HOW ON EARTH CAN A SINGLE GUY apply for a government flat, guess what they replied?The issue is barely moralistic, it is about stupid, govt-damned targets. They need babies, and to have babies you need proper family structure, who cares if alot of growing up teens are facing depression and porn or drug addictions, just send them to the counsellor. They need new families to be formed at such and such a rate, in order to keep up with the jonessehs (how to spell, I am a Singaporean my whole life, I don't travel unless for pleasure), and the moment you touch down in Singapore, you'll have to find your nice dinner events to meet Mr Right.
And guess what, I will not be able to logically avoid divorce, if the government do not lower their birth and boom targets. After all, if a woman stops conceiving at 40, and the government still needs babies, and man can reproduce into their 60s, by hook or crook divorce is not only inevitable, but a mandatory economic evil. How else to sustain aging population woes when humans are designed with flaws and the economy needs to rush like a juggernaut? When a relationship is stale, babies to be born are born, and the world is still hungry for figures to be met, push them into divorce, give them incentives to divorce and remarry.
Sorry I was a George Orwell fan =)
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But if I were to use this question in a very loud manner, to scare away some crows, if you do find the right man in singapore, does he need to hold a gun at your neck to convince your return?
it is easier to get into a relationship than to get out of it. so think carefully before u make a step, because hdb flats are designed to be high rise with open windows so that any despondent person can fantasise about flight. watch the step, be mindful, enter, and swim as if it's ur last breath.
happy chinese new year
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Originally posted by unclerexy:
But if I were to use this question in a very loud manner, to scare away some crows, if you do find the right man in singapore, does he need to hold a gun at your neck to convince your return?
it is easier to get into a relationship than to get out of it. so think carefully before u make a step, because hdb flats are designed to be high rise with open windows so that any despondent person can fantasise about flight. watch the step, be mindful, enter, and swim as if it's ur last breath.
happy chinese new year
Btw, can u define "he needs to hold his gun" -
Being a divorcee is not easy anywhere, not only in Singapore....with kids, it gets more complicated....
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@Laverne - Hi, frankly, I think it is just how you handle the situation that matters, and not whether there is a stigma. Telling your friends or relatives when you are back in Singapore that you are a divorcee will invite a lots of questions, since you are in your mid-20s. Just saying that you are single will suffice until you meet "that" someone, then you just tell him. I just read recently somewhere that 30% of marriages in Singapore ends in a divorce.
Anyway, I just got a divorce, which is why I am looking at this forum. I am still trying to accept the reality because my divorce was over so fast. My ex-wife admitted to adultery in the affidavit filed, I did not even have to get a PI to prove it and the divorce was finalised in less than 6 mths. She admitted in Aug 10 and everything is over in Dec 20.
As a man, I am only able to tell a few people what really happened, as I am afraid I might break down when telling close friends. As such, I am only comfortable writing and writing in this forum is the first time I am putting this in writing. Putting up a brave front means having a lot of activities but emptiness within.
Anyway, drop me an email at [email protected] if you need any advice or information. We can be "pen pals" (if this term still exists ;) ) as I have to admit, I need to "talk" and there are not many ppl I can talk to.
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The sooner you get the why and where for of the divorce off your chest the better.
No use going over what happened.
Clear the way for the future.
Divorce is like a pimple on your nose. How it affects you, is really your doing.
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Hi Laverne
What you need is a man who accept your past and there always men here in Singapore who will accept your past who maybe need you to accept his past as well.
Your martial status shallnt be a burden in your search, in fact it shall be your yardstick. If he cannot even accept your past how can he accept you? Therefore I think you shall in fact stated yourself as divorced instead of single to filter the right guy for yourself.
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Well, there is always some jerks, that thinks divorced females are desperate for sex.
And they use that as a yardstick to well.....demand for sex without commitment.
I rather TS do not narrow down someone to settle down with, according to nationality and region.
Please, if you just want a companion, and someone to bring up children with. There is always plenty of males, that will be willing to follow TS anywhere.
Even better if they dont have to work and TS can feed him and children and indulge them often.
And in Singapore, there is plenty of such guys too. Singapore is no longer producing worthy males of gentleman family caring calibre. These men, are either married or gay.
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Originally posted by Youmakemyday:
@Laverne - Hi, frankly, I think it is just how you handle the situation that matters, and not whether there is a stigma. Telling your friends or relatives when you are back in Singapore that you are a divorcee will invite a lots of questions, since you are in your mid-20s. Just saying that you are single will suffice until you meet "that" someone, then you just tell him. I just read recently somewhere that 30% of marriages in Singapore ends in a divorce.
Anyway, I just got a divorce, which is why I am looking at this forum. I am still trying to accept the reality because my divorce was over so fast. My ex-wife admitted to adultery in the affidavit filed, I did not even have to get a PI to prove it and the divorce was finalised in less than 6 mths. She admitted in Aug 10 and everything is over in Dec 20.
As a man, I am only able to tell a few people what really happened, as I am afraid I might break down when telling close friends. As such, I am only comfortable writing and writing in this forum is the first time I am putting this in writing. Putting up a brave front means having a lot of activities but emptiness within.
Anyway, drop me an email at [email protected] if you need any advice or information. We can be "pen pals" (if this term still exists ;) ) as I have to admit, I need to "talk" and there are not many ppl I can talk to.
I felt so sorry for you....to have such an ex-wife....nowadays women cheat more than men! What have the world become??
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Originally posted by Demon Bane:
I felt so sorry for you....to have such an ex-wife....nowadays women cheat more than men! What have the world become??
Huh? women cheat more than men??? are you sure, my joo chiat and geyland places a lots of married men book hotels, rooms and wondering around, either walking or driving, so you think who cheat the most?? -
Originally posted by angel7030:
Huh? women cheat more than men??? are you sure, my joo chiat and geyland places a lots of married men book hotels, rooms and wondering around, either walking or driving, so you think who cheat the most??Or equal cheating??...bahhh dun get married lah....less problems....